au where james is the ONLY one who dies

he sacrifices himself to protect harry and lily and in the midst he kills voldemort

lily ran down the stairs with harry in her arms to find her husband on the ground. she can feel her heart break, she can’t bare to look at him but she falls to the ground beside him, clutching harry tightly to her chest, she doesn’t know if they’ll make it, but they have to

sirius gets the news and his world shatters, his breath picks up, his heart stops beating and he can feel all the air around him freeze. his wand falls to the ground, he holds onto remus’ hand so tightly he’s sure he’d break it, his eyes fill with tears and a horrid scream ripples through his chest as he begs all the stars to bring his brother back

remus feels the anger rush through his veins, feels his magic want to tear his skin off, break him in every way because that pain would be better than what he’s feeling now. wants to stop time, wants to go back, to take james’ place. he feels the moon shining down on him and for the first time since he was 15, he wishes it would kill him, he doesn’t want to live in a world without james potter

as harry grows up, sometimes he’d sit and stare at a corner, or laugh at something that’s not there. some nights he’d reach his hand up, clutching the air as if he’d reaching for something, someone.

when harry is old enough to talk, on quiet nights lily can hear him babbling in his crib, “daddy” falling to soft ears, she has to hold her sobs in

when harry is 6, he sits at his window at night and looks at the stars, whispering to himself about all the things he did, all the things he wants to do. sirius asks wo he’s talking to, harry replies with “dad.” sirius has to clench his fist and will away the tears

when remus comes home bruised and bloody, harry is 9 and goes to his uncle moony, tells him it’s okay, the moon can’t hurt him, the sun will be back again. remus pauses, asking what he means, harry responds, “dad is watching out for you.” remus bits his lip and wills away the feeling to rip his skin apart

harry is 18 in the midst of the war, wondering if his mom, his uncles, would make it out alive. when a man with a small smile and glasses much similar to his own, walks up to him. “dad?” he whispers, and the man smiles.

STOP. TRYING. TO. ASSERT. CONTROL. OVER. HER.

-

BREAKING SPEARS NEWS!

Kinks, coils and curls belong in the office

Natural hair, afros and locs belong in the office

Black women’s hair is professional and belong in the workplace

- stayed by alina’s side when they were small, best friends who helped each other

- fell in love with, or at the very least got a crush on her when they were younger, but felt bad about it because she was supposed to be his best friend, so he got with other girls which is totally fine

- saved her from getting run over by the darkling

- tried to protect her the first time on the fold

- lied directly to the darling’s face bc his words to alina had been private

- felt bad about not trying to get her to stay when the literal darkling took her away

- thought alina had forgotten about him

- missed her every day and constantly looked for her to tell her about things he saw or just to hear her voice

- volunteered to find the stag and go to fjerda even though it meant almost certain death and his best friends got killed and he only blamed himself

- deserted without a second thought to find alina even though he had it really good as a tracker and fit it, and deserting meant certain death if he got caught

- found alina bc he will always find her

- apologized for what he said to her at the winter fete

- found the stag for her, then couldn’t kill her when the darkling found them

- was so brave when he was about to be executed

- left ravka with her

- found rusalye for her

- stayed at the little palace even though he was SO miserable. he lived with the rumors, the questions, the degrading words, being treated badly

- did kiss zoya but alina (who almost kissed nikolai) and his communication was horrible. he didn’t want to kiss her bc she flinched when he tried

- apologized for that and was forgiven. alina even said that she had asked something of mal that she hadn’t been willing to give him

- rescued and threw himself in front of her again and again and again

- tried to kill people so she wouldn’t have to bc he knew it would haunt her even though it already haunted him

- when they knew (thought) it couldn’t be them, he tried to distance himself from her, and only asked that nikolai made himself worthy of her

- wanted to show her the meteor shower and was so disappointed when he saw her with nikolai

- treated misha amazingly and helped him through trauma

- when alina got mad at him and said some hurtful stuff he only joked about her sour moods and the time she put goose shit in his shoes

- as a child he promised ana kuya that he would marry alina and he did just that!!! icon

- promised to only better himself and realized that wanting and deserving wasn’t the same thing

- mal and alina will always turn to each other first when they see something wonderful

- mal is the only person alina has loved, and the only one who has loved her

- sacrificed his life for her

- wasn’t happy about alina losing her powers

- lost his own

- told alina that it was okay that she grieved the loss of her powers even when others had lost their lives

- alina always wanted to go back and have a quiet life with mal, and she got just that

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to  her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all  busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

Many thanks for this lovely prompt, anon! I'm sorry I suck at stopping under 1000 words.

Sweet Blue

Lily barreled down the stairs, massive package in hand, grin rampant over lips as excitement buzzed like a second skin around her.

The Gryffindor Common Room, bereft of occupants save for a few stragglers who’d decided to forgo some precious Sunday lie-in, flew by her periphery without garnering so much as an acknowledging scan as she skipped towards the Boys’ staircase. A foot had barely fallen onto the first step when she was halted unceremoniously by an amused call of her name.

“Oi, Evans!” his voice rang out, and she whipped her head around to spot a shock of black hair, smiling hazel eyes, lazy smirk. The sight of him, burrowed inside an armchair, instantly sent the thrum beneath her ribcage stuttering. “Off to accost some poor bloke this early in the morning? At least wait for the sun to rise fully, would you? Some of us need more time to collect our wit.”

She narrowed her eyes, thoughts clattering as she debated her next course of action. Futile as the pretence that she’d been on a path to accost someone who was not the boy in front of her was, it only took Lily another half-second to make the decision, step away from the staircase, and towards him. James’s gaze brightened infinitesimally, evidently pleased by the deviation.

“Don’t club in everyone else with yourself, Potter,” she remarked happily, rounding the couch to plop down on its unbelievable cushiness. “Not everyone’s as slow as you.”

He reached out one of those unfairly long arms to bridge the space between them and flick her nose. Lily held back the widening grin. “And there’s that cheek. Even at six in the morning.”

Rather than blush tellingly at the fondness he directed at her, she nodded at the pile of Transfiguration notes and books around him. “What’s this? James Potter studying on a Sunday? Am I dreaming?”

“Afraid of a little competition?” he threw back, fire glinting off glasses. “Don’t worry, Evans, you’ll still beat me in Charms and Potions.”

For a second, the golden glaze of the sun hitting his hair from the window behind stole the words from her tongue, the breath from her lungs. Prompted by James’s prolonged stare, a warmth blossomed on her cheeks, bringing back some sense. “I’d beat you in DADA too.”

“Ha! You can dream.”

“I don’t make it a habit to dream about you, Potter.”

“That makes one of us,” he said, completely unabashed.

Lily fairly choked on that honesty, muscles tightening near her clavicle with strange breathlessness. “You dream about yourself? Takes the narcissism to new heights.”

James cocked a brow, but let her deliberate misunderstanding of the phrase slide. “Technically, everyone dreams about themselves.”

“Ugh, it’s too early for this,” she groaned, sliding her legs into a fold on the couch, fluffy warm pyjamas keeping the December chill at bay. “I was going to your dormitory for a purpose, you know?”

James instantly leaned forward, pleased and making no effort to hide it. “You were coming to see me?”

“To see all of you,” she mumbled like a coward. Perhaps there was also some lie interlaced in there, because he’d certainly been the reason she’d felt an extra jauntiness during her excursion. Not willing to impart that particular knowledge, Lily held out the package to him. “Open it.”

Curiosity creased his brows, smile never waning. “What’s this?”

“Open it, you impatient tosser.”

James grumbled something about ‘mean harpies posing as Head Girls’ and ‘no appreciation for those of curious minds’ while carefully unwrapping the package, all of which Lily soundly ignored in favour of vibrating with anticipation. When the last of the brown wrapping paper fell away, she squealed at the pink box that was revealed, full with a glossy sheen and pretty prints and designs; exactly the way she remembered it.

James looked at her, back at the box, then at her again. Eventually, amusement had his lips pinching together. “If I don’t find at least two dragon eggs inside this, I’ll be disappointed.”

“It’s something even better, I promise!” She wiggled her palms, urging him to open the box.

When he finally popped open the lid, Lily found herself under the very real threat of toppling to the floor, so far had she leaned forward. Eager green eyes spotted the dozen or so confectionaries that sat cheerily inside, miraculously undisturbed during their journey across England. “They’re blueberry muffins!” she informed giddily. “I requested mum to send across some from this bakery in my hometown.”

James’s smile softened as he looked inside the box, so much so that when he turned his eyes to her again, the gold in them had melted into a warm honey. “You do get blueberry muffins here too, you know,” he said kindly, voice fond.

“I know, but those are just imposters. These are the real deal. Take a bite, go on. I can bet you’ll be kissing my feet in thanks.”

“Do I have to kiss your feet? Can't it be something else?”

Her heart bloated dangerously. “James.”

“Only kidding,” he chuckled, reaching inside dutifully and picking out a muffin. At her incessantly exaggerated prompting, he made a show of rolling his eyes before finally biting into the spongey cake. It was bizarre, but Lily could swear she felt flavours blue and sweet burst on her own tongue when James moaned aloud, eyes scrunched in bliss as he chewed.

“It’s good, isn’t it?”

“What the fuck,” he whispered in disbelief after swallowing, staring down at the remaining muffin as if it had personally offended him by not being available before. “What the actual fuck?”

“I told you!” she crowed, smirking openly without a hint of modesty. “Isn’t it just the best thing you’ve ever tasted?”

“Merlin, I might cry.” He blinked, grinning at her. “Give me those feet, Evans.”

Lily’s smirk dimmed, veins strangely suffused with molten courage instead of blood as she reached forward and plucked the box from James’s lap, setting it aside on the table. The distressed cry he let out died abruptly when she looked at him again, face serious.

“Will my lips do?”

James froze, eyes wide, muffin forgotten in hand. “Lily,” he warned, voice low. “Don’t. Not if you’re still thinking—not if you’re not sure.”

Her fingers found his free hand, ran over the warm palm breezily. “I’m sure,” she confessed, lashes fluttering as she stared at his Quidditch-given calluses. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long, but—I’m sure now.”

“Look at me.”

She did.

James’s eyes were aflame, even as his breath remained tempered. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want—” She bit her lip. “I want you to kiss me. I want to eat that muffin, and then I want you to take me to Hogsmeade next weekend.”

A beat passed. And then she found his hand snaking around her wrist, tugging her forward until she sloppily stumbled over to his armchair and right into his recently vacated lap. Distantly, she registered that they had an audience—however meagre—but she’d truly never cared less.

“Good plan,” James whispered, tossing the rest of the muffin into the box. Lily didn’t even feel inclined to chastise him for messing up the presentation, because he was gripping her waist the next second, pulling her closer until his nose brushed hers tenderly. “Always the perfect answer, Miss Evans.”

“Shut up,” Lily laughed, cradling his head, pulling him forward.

Ah, fine literature.