You can't spell studying without "dying"

alright i’ll give you the play by play. first straddle him and make out for a bit, take off his shirt, and grind your hips against him so he gets hard. lightly pull his hair at the nape of his neck and tug at his bottom lip with your teeth because it feels good and it’s damn sexy. and then kiss from his lips down to his neck, and kiss and suck a little bit, and you can bite him just not too hard. and then continue to kiss him down his chest and his stomach but stop right before you get to the top of his pants and then take them off but leave his boxers on. kiss his lower stomach across the top of his boxers while dragging your fingers up and down the inside of his thighs. then pull off his boxers and kiss up his inner thighs until you get to his balls. lick the line that separates his balls and continue to lick all the way up the underside of his dick until you get to the head, then slowly swirl your tongue in a figure 8 around it and then take it in your mouth and suck lightly. then lick up and down the sides again and swirl your tongue around his head like before and then in one fluid motion take half of his dick into your mouth and slowly come up while lightly sucking to create just a little bit of pressure. you want every inch of him to be stimulated at all times so give him a hand job whenever your mouth isn’t in direct contact with a part of his penis (make sure he’s lubed up with your spit though because the friction from just skin on skin can be painful). lick up and down his shaft, take some of his length in your mouth, swirl your tongue carelessly around his dick, basically just play around for a minute because the anticipation will build up and he won’t be able to control himself when you really get the party started. try not to stick to a pattern though so he won’t know where your mouth is going next, thus intensifying your every movement. also make sure to pay attention to his balls; suck them into your mouth, lick the line that separates the two, and massage them lightly with your hand. eventually make your way back up to his head and act like you’re just going to tease him with some more tongue swirling but instead take his entire length into your mouth, then slowly bob back up (cover your teeth with your lips so you don’t scratch him). once you get to his head push him back into your mouth and as far down your throat you can. (if you have a weak gag reflex, stick your tongue out while deep throating and it’ll help you take a little more). try to find a steady rhythm while bobbing up and down, start off slow and then progressively get faster. every 5 or so bobs, swirl figure 8s over his head just for a second so you can catch your breath and his orgasm can build up, then continue your previous rhythm bobbing up and down. after a while his head will roll back and his breathing will get shallow which means he’s close to his release, so start bobbing your head faster and don’t let his head leave your mouth. also try to push him as far down your throat as he’ll go while using one hand to follow your mouth up and down his shaft and the other to lightly play with his balls. within a minute you’ll feel his penis twitch which means he’s literally about to ejaculate in like .2 seconds. to make swallowing his cum easier, try to keep him as far back in your mouth as you can so it will just shoot down your throat. but if he cums before you’re expecting him to, you better lick up every bit of it, swallow it, and then lick your lips like it was the best thing you’ve ever tasted. do. not. spit. the unpleasant taste goes away in like 2 seconds and trust me the look on his face after you swallow is so worth it, plus you get major bonus points.

Aight get ready to get ur hoe on, this is everything I know. And this is what works for me, so try it out and play around w it see what works for u and whats enjoyable for ur partner and suck his soul outta is body. Remember you can’t half-ass this shit it wont be enjoyable for you or him, you gotta dive right in like the sex god(dess) you are:

Tease him, don’t just jump right in. Make out & stroke him over his clothes, rub and squeeze a bit. Kiss his damn neck, don’t forget his nipples, they sensitive 2 (play w it, lick it - pro tip: a light touch is A+)

kiss your way down, be sensual & shit, guys love that shit; look up @ him when u do, that’s sexy as hell; get comfortable cause I know when I don’t take time to position myself my knees and hips hurt like a bitch, I like sitting/kneeling between his legs if he’s laying down or sitting. If he’s standing its not as bad 

I like to stroke and pump him lightly a few times a few times while I try to gather saliva in my mouth. how you want to start is up 2 u. Licking his length or putting the tip in your mouth (i like this one). I like to switch it up tho, so go crazy. Establishing eye contact when u do this is hella erotic too. Kiss his belly (like below his belly button and above his pubic area - if u wanna kiss there thats fine too I don’t cause pubes), kiss his thighs (guys love this too)

People say roll your lips over your teeth (like an old person) so you don’t scrape his weewee but like????? that dont work with me & makes it more difficult, I don’t have much trouble with my teeth. Just keep your lips flat over your teeth (don’t pull your lips up like with a toothy smile) and you’ll be fine.

The 1st 10-15 seconds, I’m just trying to get him as wet as possible with spit (and you can use this to see how much of him you can fit in your mouth) so bounce your head a few times and suck, test how far in you can fit him, get messy and get it wet (as much as you can) guys LOVE sloppy cause it feels much better. If you have difficulty with this, try hitting the back of your throat. If you gag a little it’ll produce more saliva but back up immediately. In my experience, if I’m enjoying myself and getting into it then I produce a lot more spit. If it’s still difficult invest in some lube.

Go fuckin wild. The main thing is to suck on it obv. Bounce your head up and down, use your hand(s) to stroke what you can’t fit in your mouth. Swirl your tongue around while you suck on him. Alternate your speeds, go fast for a few seconds then slow down. And vary your sucking strength too. Sometimes you gotta suck him like its the end of the world and switch it up and do it lightly to tease him. A trick is “hollowing out your cheeks”, you’re basically pulling your cheeks in like when you make a “goldfish face” or when your contour LMAO this makes it super tight - I can’t do this for very long gotta watch out for teeth when u do this tho. It’s okay to take breaks from sucking and take him out of your mouth, just keep stroking him with your hand. And lick his length (eye contact!!)

I know some guys like to face fuck a girl, mine doesn’t really. But if he does and you’re comfortable with it then just relax your mouth and let him do the work. I tend to flex the back of my throat when ths happens or else it’ll hit my gag reflex. Remember to talk about it before hand (usually a guy will ask if he can) make sure you have a signal or something to back off because it can get overwhelming especially if he’s larger and/or doing very hard.

During strokes, squeeze a little tighter when you’re pulling towards the tip (you) than when you’re going towards him. it’s okay to use a tight grip (don’t hulk it) but I found that light teasing touches are gr8 too. Focus on the head, do small strokes on the tip, run your thumb over it. Lightly lick the tip and flick your tongue around and play w it. Take the tip into your mouth and suck on it

Don’t forget about his balls! They’re super super sensitive. When you need a break from sucking, keep stroking his shaft, and lick his balls. Try and take them in your mouth suck on em and swirl them around with your tongue (try taking both if u can u champ; if not one @ a time is good too). But you definitely have to be more careful with them because you can easily hurt him. When you’re sucking on his penis, massage his balls lightly (hella sensations)

okay my finishing move; if he hasn’t come yet that day (my partner and I go several rounds so) this will finish him right off. When you’re sucking him, try to take him as far in as you can that you’re still comfortable with and tense and flex the muscles there. A swallowing motion around his penis, while you’re sucking. This might take some practice to flex it while still sucking so it’s okay to actually swallow, it’ll just prevent you from sucking. If you moan or hum during this the vibrations will make it even better. If you can deep throat him then hell yeah hell yeah, go u (i can’t lmao)

Pay attention to his reactions. If his breathing gets erratic, his grip gets tighter, moan, or buckle his hips when you’re doing a certain move then keep doing it. Observe him and what he likes. It’s really helpful if he communicates, I know certain guys don’t though. So ask him, say “oh you like that?” “this feel good?” I like to keep it playful and joke if I know he’s enjoying it “oh you like that? want me to keep going?” etc. it’ll classify as dirty talk and help guide you to do more of what he likes.

When he’s close, focus on the tip. Usually guys will let you know (if he doesn’t, tell him beforehand to give you a warning) I always swallow, if you can: do it. It’s sexy for him, and less of a mess. Try to swallow while he’s cumming, cause in my experience if I wait and let it pool in my mouth, it’ll be unpleasant it gets messy & leaks when you remove your mouth. While he’s cumming, do light sucking motions on his head, don’t take him all the way in (I angle his penis up towards the roof of my mouth instead of the back of my throat cause if you have a gag reflex then whoa buddy ur in for a surprise. I don’t even have a sensitive one and it made me gag and tear up because ejaculation comes out at a v fast pace.)

If you can’t swallow then try to keep it in your mouth and go to the bathroom to spit it out. Try and take it like a trooper, because if you make faces of disgust it’ll make him feel bad. If you really don’t want him to, then talk about it with him beforehand and come to an agreement, maybe let him cum on you, in your hand, or something. I don’t like doing this because it is really messy, especially if he has a big load (which mine does). My guy and I have an agreement that he can cum on me if we’re in the shower cause it washes right off.

And last thing: not mandatory obviously but it’ll make your life easier. If you have long hair I recommend tying it up in a ponytail. It makes it neater, it’s gives him a good view of what you’re doing. And it’s something for him to grab onto (and pull - if you’re into that).

Helpful resources for all your Dialectical Behaviour Therapy needs! I will be updating this post as I find more.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by M. McKay, J. Wood and J. Brantley : A clear and concise guide to the basics of learning DBT skills.

The DBT Travel Guide app on the App Store and on Google Play: Quick list of DBT skills to try for your specific emotion, also includes an interface for diary cards.

DBTSelfHelp.com: A variety of tools including videos, articles, flash cards, DBT skills, etc.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy Official Site

Therapist Aid DBT Worksheets

DBT Tools: An index of DBT skills.

My profile: studied abroad in the Middle East, actively working in my family business, have travelled the world, learned the violin for about a decade. Deep appreciation for arts, reading, horse riding.

So far, to prep for this event, I’ve gone as far as creating an outfits lookbook PDF to ensure I look my best and my socials are updated.

How would you prep for this? My biggest issue is that I get too shy socially at my grown age (24) and idk how to make friends now…. But I want to put my best foot forth, make not just connections but also genuine friendships.

Hi Lovely,

Congratulations on your acceptance! This event sounds like an incredible opportunity to meet like-minded people and expand your network. I'm just going to list out all the prepping tips I can think of :)

Prep, prep, prep!

Gain a clear understanding of the event's purpose, theme, and expectations. Research the organizers, speakers, and attendees to familiarize yourself with their backgrounds and interests. You by no means have to memorize the guest list but try to identify some common themes amongst attendees regarding their careers, educational backgrounds, hobbies, interests, etc. Once you generally know who will be there and generally what their backgrounds are, I recommend doing some basic research on those themes. For example, if you know a good portion of attendees work in finance, spend a few minutes per day reading up on the market so that by the time you attend the event, you'll be able to hold a solid conversation with anyone there that works in finance.

Make a strong entrance!

Meaning, by the time you attend the event you should know exactly how you plan to enter the room and what your plan will be once you're in the room. I'll give you some tips that personally work well for me. First, try to get to the event about 15 minutes early so you have time to look around, get a feel for the space, and plan out how you'll navigate it once people begin arriving. If you don't want to just stand around waiting for the room to start filling up, head to the bathroom and take a few minutes to touch yourself up and make sure you're fully prepared to put your best foot forward. Final step, head back to the main area and begin making conversation with the early arrivers (which is much easier than trying to find someone to talk to in a packed venue). Which brings me to the next step.

Focus on the conversation!

I recommend first approaching people that appear similar to you in age, gender, background, etc. then working your way to the more diverse crowds. Doing so will allow you to practice so to speak on people that you have a lot in common with and can relate to better. And when you do first approach a person or a group of people, just give a simple "Hi, nice to meet you. My name is X". Truly there's really no better way to start a conversation. They'll likely respond by telling you their name, and you can follow up their response by asking them where their from, what they do for a living, their experiences, current projects, or seek their insights on industry trends etc. and thus, a conversation is born. Some things to do during each interaction:

Show genuine interest: Approach conversations with a sincere curiosity about the other person. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share more about themselves, their experiences, and their opinions. Listen attentively and show genuine interest in what they have to say.

Be a good listener: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker. Avoid interrupting or formulating your response while they are still speaking. I also recommend following the 80/20 rule, which is letting them talk 80% of the time and only chiming in when you really want to share something remarkable about yourself. They'll leave the conversation thinking you're the most interesting person they've ever met.

Use the power of names: Address people by their names when conversing with them. It helps create a personal connection and shows that you value and respect them as individuals.

Keep the conversation alive: If at some point they make a statement and you're not sure how to reply, just repeat their words and follow it up with an empathetic statement. So for example, if someone says "Interest rates are so high right now which is making my job hectic", you can go ahead and respond by saying "Interest rates are incredibly high right now. That must be tough to deal with". Repeating them then making an empathetic statement will not only compel them to continue talking (so you don't have to do any heavy lifting) but will also help them feel connected to you.

Be mindful of your body language!

Stand or sit up straight with your shoulders relaxed and your chest open. When greeting someone, offer a firm handshake (if culturally appropriate). Establish and maintain regular eye contact during the conversation (if you feel uncomfortable looking someone in the eye, look at their nose instead. They won't notice.) Lean in slightly toward the person to demonstrate attentiveness and interest. Use nods and other affirming gestures to show that you are actively listening and understanding the other person. Avoid crossing your arms or creating physical barriers between you and the other person. Subtly mirror body language. Maintain a comfortable distance and be aware of cultural norms and individual preferences regarding personal space. Basically, remember that the key is to be natural and authentic in your body language.

Plan to stay in touch!

Meaning, if you really enjoy connecting with someone, don't leave the conversation without their contact info. What I usually do is, right as the conversation is beginning to die down, say something like "Well I'll let you meet some more people, but I'd love to stay in touch. Do you mind if I get your number?". I always think it's best to get someone's number because you can control exactly how and when you follow up. Basically, getting their number allows you to control the dynamic going forward. Even if you don't particularly vibe with someone, I still think it's worth getting their info and following up with a quick "Hey, it's X. I really enjoyed meeting you at Y event and would love to stay in touch going forward!" because you never know who you'll need in your rolodex in the future.

As many of you are aware, I've embarked on my post-graduate career within the realm of finance. While this path certainly presents its share of challenges and stressors, it's proving to be an invaluable source of insights. Naturally, I'm eager to extend some of these freshly acquired pearls of wisdom to all of you.

Cold messaging works.

Just last week a cancer researcher reached out to me via LinkedIn asking for twenty minutes of my time to gain insight into breaking into finance. I organized a Zoom call (not that it matters, but he’s gorgeous and insanely well-spoken and I was fangirling the entire time hehe), I gave him advice and decided to get him in touch with one of my most successful mentors who also started her career in cancer research. He just messaged me this morning saying he’s got an interview scheduled. Now I’m not saying everyone is going to be as nice as me in accepting random messages from strangers, but I am saying that you have nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain from cold messaging. So, if your aspirations include breaking into a specific industry or joining a particular company, I wholeheartedly recommend composing a well-crafted message that can be disseminated to numerous professionals in that field.

Likeability is paramount.

Funny story: when I was interviewing with my team, I was competing against about ten other incoming analysts that had far more impressive profiles than me. One had an MBA, another was a financial engineering major and math minor at a top Ivy, and yet another had interned at two of the top hedge funds in the world. So, when I was approaching the interview process, I decided to go about it in a unique way: I focused wholly on presenting as the most likable person the team had ever met. I opened the conversation with a joke, I made it clear that I’m super competitive and can perform, and I talked about how much I love golf and tennis and happy hour. By the end of the interview not only did I have everyone in the room smiling and chuckling, but I had also seamlessly deviated them from grilling me about my non-finance background. My experience reinforces a key principle: while competence is undeniably important, the paramountcy of securing allies and supporters can hardly be overstated.

Showcase your niche from the outset.

Upon starting a job, seize the opportunity to spotlight your unique strengths right from the outset. For example, if you happen to speak six languages fluently which would allow your team to communicate with a new sector of clients, make that known. If you were an English major and as a result can write better than anyone on your team, make that known. If you know how to code and can automate a task that typically takes your team a significant amount of time, make that known. Essentially, the aim is to establish yourself as an invaluable asset by excelling in a particular area. My niche happens to be formatting. I can bang out a perfectly formatted Excel graph in like 30 seconds and my boss is elated by that fact, particularly because no one else on my team is that great at formatting. And you better believe I made that skill known while interviewing with my team.

You may just have to work harder.

Meaning, everyone has their niche and the role you find yourself in may not be yours. And that’s okay. I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a numbers girl and I struggle tremendously with the financial modeling aspect of my job. Instead of getting discouraged by that fact, I just choose to accept the challenge and work a bit harder than my friends and coworkers to perform at their level. And again, that’s okay. So instead of writing off a career because you’re not a natural math-wise or salesperson, just commit to working harder. The curve will be steeper and take longer to climb it. THAT’S OKAY. Lean in, embrace the challenge, and get to work.

You don’t have to know much of anything.

As long as you can surround yourself with people that do. One more story: A few weeks ago I decided to take my budgeting seriously now that I’m living on my own and have my own bills to pay. The problem, however, was that I had no idea what to budget for. So instead of racking my brain and attempting to build a budget with no reference, I went to my most frugal team-mate (the man eats ramen noodles every day for lunch and dinner at the desk) and asked him for advice. By the next morning, I had an extremely detailed budget built out in Excel created entirely by my teammate. I can go on about the ways I’ve improved my life just by asking for help, but instead, I’ll just say this: surround yourself with people that know more than you. Ask for help, take their advice, and apply it to your life. The growth you’ll experience will be remarkable.

Ancient History:

"Ramses: The Greatest Pharaoh" by Joyce Tyldesley

"Nefertiti" by Joann Fletcher

"Cleopatra: A Life" by Stacy Schiff

The Epic of Gilgamesh" translated by Stephen Mitchell

"The Cities of the Salt Caravan" by Jonathan Steele

"Babylon: Mesopotamia and the Birth of Civilization" by Paul Kriwacz

Thucydides: The Peloponnesian War" translated by Stephen Mitchell

"The Twelve Caesars" by Suetonius

"SPQR: A History of Ancient Rome" by Mary Beard

"The Mauryas" by Mortimer Wheeler

"Ashoka the Great" by Charles Allen

"A History of Ancient India" by Upinder Singh

"The Records of the Grand Historian" by Sima Qian

"Empress Wu: The Controversial Woman Who Ruled China" by Jung Chang

"The Cambridge History of Ancient China" edited by Denis Twitchett and John Fairbank

Medieval History:

"Charlemagne" by Jean-Pierre Brunaux

"A History of Medieval Europe" by Christopher Wickham

"The Devil's Brood: The Hundred Years' War" by Jonathan Sumption

"The Emperor Justinian and the Byzantine Empire" by Michael Grant

"Byzantium: The Decline and Fall" by John Julius Norwich

"The Last Empire: The Final Days of Byzantium" by David Nicolle

"The Caliphate: A History of Islamic Empire" by Tom Holland

"Makers of the Muslim World: Lives and Legacies" by Ira M. Lapidus

"Genghis Khan and the Making of the Modern World" by Jack Weatherfore

"The Tale of Heike" translated by Helen McCullough

"Bushido: The Soul of Japan" by Inazo Nitobe

"Samurai: The Story of Warrior Nobility" by Thomas Hoover

Early Modern History:

"The Medici: Godfathers of the Italian Renaissance" by Paul Strathern

"A History of the Reformation" by Diarmaid MacCulloch

"Leonardo da Vinci" by Walter Isaacson

"1493: Uncovering the New World Columbus Created" by Charles C. Mann

"Elizabeth I: A Biography" by John Guy

"A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson

"Isaac Newton" by James Gleick

"Galileo Galilei" by Dava Sobel

Modern History:

"The Age of Voltaire" by Will Durant

"A Storm in a Teacup: The Brewing of the American Revolution" by Thomas P. Nevin

"The French Revolution" by Simon Schama

"The Victorian Internet: Envisioning Information Exchange Before the Web" by Tom Standage

"Scramble for Africa: The White Man's Grab for Land" by Pierre van den Boogaerde

"Dispatches from the Congo: Musing About Heart of Darkness" by Adam Hochschild

Recent History:

"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari

"Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World - and Why Things Are Better Than You Think" by Hans Rosling

Micron Technology.

I've done several pitches on this company and it's a stock that's never let me down, so let's get into why I still think it's a buy :)

For an overview of the business:

Micron Technology is a globally operated US-based semiconductor company that develops and makes memory and storage solutions including USB flash drives, and flash memory chips including their NAND and DRAM servers which are their two main revenue drivers.

Micron products are used in automobiles, consumer electronics, communications, servers, and computers.

Led by CEO Sanjay Mehrotra who has over 40 years of experience in semiconductors, the management team is highly experienced with a successful track record.

The company has a market cap of ~136B and has a current price of $114.

I believe the company is a strong buy for four main reasons:

Memory for the AI Revolution: Micron isn't just a memory maker, it's an enabler of artificial intelligence. AI applications require massive amounts of high-bandwidth memory, Micron's specialty. As AI adoption explodes across industries, demand for Micron's cutting-edge technologies will soar. I expect next-gen AI PC units to grow and become a meaningful portion of total PC units in calendar 2025. The company expects AI phones to carry 50 to 100% greater DRAM content compared to non-AI flagship phones today

Beyond PCs and Servers: The memory market is diversifying. Micron is at the forefront of developing memory solutions for the Internet of Things (IoT) and autonomous vehicles, two sectors with explosive growth potential. Micron's embedded memory solutions will be the backbone of these transformative technologies.

Manufacturing Prowess: Micron is a leader in micronization, the relentless miniaturization of memory chips. This edge translates to denser, faster memory with lower power consumption – a critical advantage as data demands intensify. Micron's investments in research and development ensure they'll stay ahead of the curve.

Like any investment, there are several risks to my rating:

Other companies develop AI-specific chips, reducing demand for Micron's general-purpose memory. This could lead to lower average selling prices (ASPs) for Micron's DRAM and NAND memory chips, impacting revenue and gross margins.

 New memory technologies for IoT and autonomous vehicles sideline existing products. If Micron fails to adapt to these new markets, it could miss out on significant growth opportunities.

Competitors erode Micron's manufacturing lead or unforeseen issues delay/reduce production. Unexpected production issues could cause inventory shortages and reduced top line growth.

Catalysts:

While a couple of catalysts have already been priced into the stock, including data center inventory normalization expected by the first half of 2024 and high single-digit front-end cost reductions in DRAM and low double-digit front-end cost reductions in NAND for fiscal '24 one HUGE catalyst that I don't believe has been accounted for.

Geopolitical Realignment: The current chip shortage and increasing tensions between the US and China are pushing for domestic chip production. 2022 also saw the enactment of landmark, bipartisan legislation, the CHIPS and Science Act, that will substantially strengthen domestic semiconductor production and allocate $52 billion for domestic semiconductor manufacturing.

Supply Chain Security: Micron's chips are primarily made in Japan and Taiwan, but Micron is aiming to bring advanced memory production to the U.S. starting in 2026 with a new $15 billion chip fabrication plant in Boise, Idaho.

Considering the points I mentioned in my investment thesis,  I believe the company should trade at $130 and I've concluded via a DCF and comparable company analysis. For the DCF I used a 10-year forecast period and applied a discount rate of 7.5% using the CAPM model. So the present value of cash flows over the next 10 years amounts to 50.7B USD. The present value of the terminal value is 79.3B USD. The total present value equals 130B USD.

Let's Do it :)

I'm already missing my old home (I moved out of Manhattan less than 2 weeks ago), but on the plus side, I can finally reveal that I lived in right in the heart of SoHo. Anyway, let's do a deep dive into all of my go-to's in the city (I already did a restaurant guide so we’re going to be focusing on the other hotspots):

Paul's Baby Grand

Located in Tribeca, Paul's Baby Grand is a super fun and sexy nightclub that attracts all kinds of…fun and sexy people. The ambiance here is reminiscent of a glamorous 1970s disco with its plush velvet seating, dim lighting, and absolutely packed dance floor. This was one of my go-to spots for a night out with friends because the drinks are strong, the music is always amazing, and the potential to meet C-list celebrities is just endless. The bouncers are absolute assholes and getting in is a bitch, but if you do, you'll be in for an amazing night.

The Mulberry

The Mulberry is an elegant bar and lounge located in the heart of, you guessed it, SoHo. In my opinion, it’s the perfect spot for a relaxed evening of cocktails and conversation with a trust fund-6'5-blue eyes finance bro. The Mulberry attracts well-heeled clientele early on, and a trendy clientele later into the night, making it a great place to network with influential people in a more laid-back setting.

The Box

I love the Box. I hate the Box. Let me explain. From the moment you walk in, you know you’re in for something absolutely fucking insane. Every night they host a variety of acts that range from burlesque and cabaret to bizarre and downright heinous (I once saw a woman put a very large knife .. never mind). Anyway, one of the most enjoyable aspects of The Box is the people you meet because the shared experience of witnessing the outrageous performances just elicits a sense of comradery. I've seen a lot of celebrities there and because you practically have to sell your soul to get in, there's always an air of excitement. It's taboo, it's sexy, it's unforgettable. That's all I can say.

The Jane Hotel Ballroom

The Jane Hotel Ballroom is a West Village hidden gem that just exudes old-world charm and elegance. The venue features a stunning ballroom with vintage decor, ornate chandeliers, and a gigantic fireplace. I used to love going when I was in the mood to meet new people because, for some reason, ANYONE will approach you and spark conversation. The last time I went with my sister, we got swept up by the crowd and ended up spending the whole evening meeting strangers and only reconnecting when the night was over.

Activities:

Gallery Hopping

My favorite way to spend a Sunday afternoon (usually very hungover and questioning all my life choices) was always exploring the Chelsea Art Galleries and discovering cutting-edge works from both established and emerging artists. I particularly loved Gagosian Gallery, David Zwirner Gallery, and Pace Gallery, but honestly, there are too many good ones to count.

Fitness and Wellness

You guys already know I'm married to my workout routine, and staying fit in NYC is easy due to the plethora of fitness studios and wellness centers scattered across the city. I loved Barry’s Bootcamp and Sky Ting Yoga, though I ended up at the Equinox in SoHo most of the time. If I really wanted to indulge a bit after a workout, I'd do in a spa day at The Well in Flatiron or AIRE Ancient Baths in Tribeca.

Culinary Adventures

We all know that New York City is THE culinary capital of the universe so I'm going to spell out an absolutely epic day of eating in my book: Start your day with a classic New York bagel from Russ & Daughters. For lunch, get dim sum in Chinatown at Jing Fong or pasta in Little Italy at Rubirosa. For dinner, go to Le Bernardin for some of the best seafood you will ever have. And do NOT go to bed without getting a scoop at Ample Hills Creamery.

Cultural Experiences

I can write a 26-page thesis on all the cultural activities the city has to offer, but I'll just say this: there are a lot and you should probably do your research to get the full picture. I absolutely loved attending in Broadway shows, off-Broadway productions, and live performances. I visited Lincoln Center more times than I did my office and when I wanted to switch it up, I went to The Apollo Theater in Harlem for iconic live music performances. And don't even get me started on the museums. Seriously, do your research.

There's a lot more to say, but I'll keep it short. Cheers!

Did you take any etiquette classes, or red any books about etiquette? If so what did you take away from it? In general what is some basic etiquette everyone should know?

Yes, my mother made my sister and me take etiquette classes when we were growing up, where we learned how to make small talk, use cutlery properly, do the fox trot, and all that. It felt like torture at the time, but now that I'm an adult, I'm incredibly grateful for it. There are countless teachings I believe everyone should know, but I'll keep it simple and list the basics:

Socializing:

Greetings and Introductions:

Initiate Greetings: In formal settings, greeting the host and senior individuals first is polite.

Introduce Yourself with Confidence: When introducing yourself, make eye contact, smile, and offer a firm (but gentle) handshake.

Remember Names: Pay attention to names during introductions, and try to use them in conversation to show attentiveness.

Conversation Etiquette:

Avoid Monopolizing Conversations: Engage in a balanced dialogue exchange; avoid dominating the conversation.

Graceful Interruptions: If you must interrupt, do so politely with a soft “Excuse me” or “May I add…?”

Ending Conversations: Close conversations gracefully, e.g., “It was a pleasure speaking with you,” before moving on to another guest.

Small Talk and Topics:

Safe Topics: Stick to light, neutral topics like travel, the arts, or current (non-controversial) events.

Avoid Over-sharing: Keep personal matters private; maintain an air of mystery and sophistication.

Dining:

Seating Etiquette:

Wait to Be Seated: Wait until the host signals to sit, or until you’re guided to your seat.

Seating Order: If you’re hosting, guide guests to their seats based on seniority or guest of honor status.

Table Manners:

Utensil Use: Start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress. After you've cut your food, make sure you move your for to your left hand even if it feels counterintuitive,

Bread and Butter: Tear off a small piece of bread, butter it on your plate, and eat it, rather than buttering the entire slice.

Resting Utensils: When pausing, place utensils on the plate in a “resting” position, such as crossed or angled.

Handling Courses:

Soup Etiquette: Spoon soup away from you and sip from the edge of the spoon without slurping.

Pacing: Match your pace to the host or the most senior individual at the table. Don't rush or lag behind.

Events:

RSVP and Invitations:

Timely Response: Respond to invitations promptly and never bring uninvited guests unless explicitly allowed.

Respect Time: Arrive on time, especially for formal events, but not more than 15 minutes early.

Host and Guest Responsibilities:

Host Etiquette: As a host, introduce guests to each other, especially if they don’t know anyone else.

Guest Behavior: Engage with other guests, but don’t cling to one person for the entire event. Mingle politely.

Handling Alcohol:

Moderation: Drink alcohol in moderation. Know your limits and avoid overindulgence.

Toast Etiquette: Stand if a toast is being made in your honor, and wait to drink until after the toast is given.

Dressing:

Dress Code Adherence:

Understand the Code: Whether it’s black tie, cocktail, or casual, always adhere strictly to the dress code specified on the invitation.

Subtle Elegance: Opt for classic, understated pieces that are elegant but not overly flashy.

Grooming and Accessories:

Impeccable Grooming: Make sure your hair, nails, and makeup are neatly done and appropriate for the occasion.

Too many!

Monogram Everything: Custom towels, sheets, makeup bags, hairbrushes, toothbrushes, passport holders, stationery, travel pouches, etc.

Signature Scents for Each Season: A curated collection of niche fragrances, one for each season, with unique notes like oud, vetiver, or fig.

Vintage Watches: Classic vintage timepieces that carry their own history. Bonus points for leather straps.

Signature Cocktail and Wine Expertise: Perfecting a signature cocktail (mine will always be a dirty martini. Must be made with Belvedere and must have three blue cheese stuffed olives.) and a refined palate for wines.

Tailored Blazers: Impeccably tailored blazers with sharp shoulders and a perfect fit, available in multiple fabrics, such as wool, linen, and cashmere, for different seasons.

Fitted Dark-Wash Jeans: Dark-wash jeans with a subtle flare or cropped ankle, made from premium denim for a refined, tailored look.

Handcrafted Leather Notebook or Planner: Personalized leather notebooks or planners with embossed initials for jotting down ideas, schedules, or travel plans.

Chic, Dark Lacquered Nails: Short, neatly manicured nails lacquered in rich, dark shades like oxblood, navy, or jet black.

Heirloom-Quality Silk Pajamas: Silk or satin loungewear for relaxing at home.

Limited Edition Coffee Table Books: A collection of rare, limited edition coffee table books on topics like art, fashion, photography, and design.

Handcrafted Jewelry Box: A bespoke jewelry box with a velvet or suede interior with custom compartments for rings, necklaces, and watches.

Designer Sunglasses Collection: A curated collection of designer sunglasses for every occasion, from oversized to those tiny ones that I forgot the name of.

High-End Barware: A set of luxury glassware and cocktail tools for entertaining, such as crystal decanters, gold-rimmed glasses, and artisanal cocktail shakers.

Premium Fountain Pen: A sleek, monogrammed fountain pen for signing important documents or writing in your leather planner.

Luxury Fitness Gear: High-end yoga mats, monogrammed gym bags, and chic athleisure wear for staying stylish even during workouts.

Fine Art Subscription: Monthly deliveries of art prints, small sculptures, or collectible items from emerging artists.

Personalized Signature Candles: Custom-designed scented candles made from soy or beeswax, infused with your favorite essential oils, housed in hand-poured ceramic jars.

Custom Perfume Tray: A beautifully designed tray for displaying your perfume collection in marble or glass with gold accents.

Bespoke Luggage Set: A custom-made leather luggage set, complete with matching travel cases and monogrammed details.

Start Each Week with a Strategic “Agenda Email” to Key Colleagues.

One of the quickest ways I’ve learned to establish visibility and credibility is through a weekly email, sent every Monday morning to a select group of people I work closely with. I call it my “Agenda Email,” and it’s a brief, well-organized list of my primary focus areas for the week, along with any updates they should know about my ongoing projects. This strategy works wonders because it shows proactivity, reinforces my role within the team, and subtly invites colleagues to respond with their thoughts, creating a two-way rapport. It’s a small thing, but in a competitive office, people appreciate the heads-up and will start associating you with clarity and organization.

Use “Pattern Recognition” to Establish Your Unique Expertise

Everyone in finance brings something to the table, but standing out requires a unique angle. I’ve been leaning into “pattern recognition” to establish myself as an authority on certain markets. Essentially, I look for recurring trends or anomalies in specific sectors we’re tracking, like currency fluctuations or niche emerging markets, and call these patterns out in team meetings. By consistently delivering valuable insights that connect the dots between seemingly disparate data, I’ve positioned myself as a go-to person in those areas. This strategy is effective because pattern recognition is highly regarded in the finance world; it shows depth, foresight, and an understanding of complex systems that can often be more useful than raw numbers alone.

Start a “Resource Share” Email or Chat Group

This one’s been a game-changer for visibility and connection. I started a small resource-sharing email list where we trade interesting articles, book recommendations, or industry podcasts. This has become a safe space where a few of us can share knowledge, ask questions, and introduce each other to new resources. Since starting this group, my colleagues have been sending resources my way as well, which has organically made me a resource for valuable information. It’s a small initiative that’s earned me a lot of goodwill and respect, especially from people I don’t directly work with.

Use Time Zone Differences to Your Advantage

Since my NY energy still runs through my veins, I’m often online during hours when others in London might not be. I use this time zone advantage to knock out work without the usual daytime distractions, so when my team starts their day, I’m already ahead with the groundwork laid. Additionally, by reaching out to U.S.-based clients or colleagues during their workday, I’ve become their preferred contact because I’m available when they are. This approach not only helps me manage my workload but also gives me a reputation as someone who can bridge the London and U.S. offices seamlessly.

Create a “Meeting Cheat Sheet” for Networking and Strategy

Rather than attending meetings passively, I started compiling “Meeting Cheat Sheets” where I note down quick references for each person I’m about to engage with. This includes a reminder of recent projects they’re working on, their interests, and the last conversation we had (even the offhand details they shared in the elevator). Why does this matter? When you can show that you remember details or tie in previous conversations, you build rapport and show that you’re invested in relationships. This level of attentiveness has helped me create connections that go beyond professional small talk. People remember you for it, especially in a high-stakes environment.

Use Your Desk as a “Mini Brand Statement”

Your workspace says a lot about you before you even say a word. I made my desk my “mini brand statement” by incorporating a few memorable items that reflect my style and personality: a sleek desk organizer, a single, unique art print, and a small stack of my favorite books on creativity and leadership. Nothing too flashy, but enough to hint at who I am beyond the job.People often stop by and comment on the art or the books, which makes for great conversation starters and, subtly, a way for others to remember me by something distinctive.

Appearances Are Everything

The reality is, perception often outweighs reality in the workplace. You don’t have to grind yourself into the ground to be seen as a top performer—you just need to master the art of looking busy. Be the first one in the office and the last to leave (or at least make it seem that way). Walk around with purpose, look focused, and be visible in meetings. Speak up, even if it’s just to echo a good point. Document every minor project you touch, highlight your wins, and frame your efforts as “above and beyond” whenever you have an audience. The goal isn’t to be the hardest worker in the room, but to do the bare minimum while making everyone think you’re the hardest worker in the room.

Always Look for the Next Best Opportunity

Never get comfortable. Comfort breeds complacency, and complacency kills ambition. Whether it’s joining a high-profile committee, sitting on a board, or switching careers entirely, you should always be evaluating what’s next. These moves aren’t just resume fluff—they’re strategic steps that broaden your network, increase your visibility, and position you as a go-getter. Companies will drop you in a second if it suits their bottom line, so you owe them no loyalty. Keep your eyes open and your options plentiful. Striving for more isn’t just about money—it’s about growth, influence, and future-proofing your career.

Find a Sponsor

Mentors are great, but sponsors are game-changers. You need someone in your corner who will not only advise you but also advocate for you when you’re not in the room. I’ve had sponsors from as far back as high school who still check in to see if I’m happy in my current role or ready to jump ship to their team. Just two weeks ago, a managing director from Bank of America I used to network with reached out asking for the millionth time if I’d like to join her team—but I’d sooner die than go back to the sell side. Anyway, having a sponsor means having someone who in your potential and is willing to put their reputation on the line for you.

Model Top Performers

I'm furnishing my first big girl apartment, and I wanted to know what are the best bedsheets for your bedroom? What are favorite scented candles and scent diffusers? Also what is your LA apartment aesthetic like?

Hi Anon! I love interiors and could talk about decor all day, so I’m honestly flattered you even asked. Happy to share all the details :)

The Apartment Aesthetic.

The space itself is super modern: white walls, dark hardwood floors, black marble kitchen counters, and these striking soldered lighting accents that give “cool art gallery” meets “fashion editor’s loft.” Not my usual style at all (I’m more into romantic, vintage-leaning interiors), but I leaned into the mood.

Living Room — Clean Lines, Soft Layers.

The living room is where I really committed to the white + colored accents vision. I started with a 10-ft Restoration Hardware white couch — it’s oversized, super deep, and while cost me like half my bonus, will last me a lifetime. It also anchors the entire room and plays so well off the darker floors.

Underneath it, I laid down a silvery gray banana silk rug which in my humble opinion makes the whole room. It has this subtle sheen that bounces light in the prettiest way, and the color brings a softness that balances out the stark contrast of the white and dark tones.

For the coffee table, I went with the Naomi cocktail table by Interlude Home — it’s entirely glass, really sculptural and clean, but still has some weight to it. I like that it doesn’t visually interrupt the space, but still feels luxe. I keep it styled pretty simply: a stack of Vogue covers (all black women, of course) , a rotation of Diptyque candles, a big purple orchid that’s somehow still alive (miracle), and a few crystals I’ve collected over the years.

Work-From-Home Desk Setup.

I work from home twice a week, so having a proper desk setup was non-negotiable. Luckily, my living room is big so I was able to carve out a dedicated work nook without crowding anything. I placed a mirrored desk right under the big window that overlooks the trees outside — it’s the perfect view and brings in tons of natural light.

The desk itself is clean and minimal. I have an all-white monitor (I couldn’t deal with clunky black tech), my little Louis Vuitton planner, and minimal visible cords — I was very intentional about keeping it uncluttered. My clear acrylic desk chair keeps the area light and visually open so it doesn’t feel like I’m working in the middle of the living room, even though I technically am. It’s honestly one of my favorite little corners.

The Art.

I didn’t want the space to feel sterile, so I went big on colorful, abstract wall art. Above the couch is my favorite piece: “I’ll Keep It With Mine” by Fern Cassidy. It’s expressive and layered and brings so much life into the room. I found a few other large, punchy canvases in the same color story and scattered them throughout the apartment — one by the dining area, another near the entry. It really pulls everything together without being too matchy.

The Bedroom — My Vintage Escape.

Now, my bedroom is a whole different mood. This is where I let my romantic side have its moment. Still cohesive with the rest of the apartment, but softer, warmer, and more personal.

My bed has a tufted cream headboard with scalloped edges — kind of reminds me of old European hotel beds. I paired it with glass bedside lamps that have this subtle art nouveau feel to them, all curved lines and warm glow. On the nightstand I keep my bedtime lineup: a little glass dish I found at a flea market for rings, a silk eye mask, a lavender pillow spray, my bible for morning scripture, and a second candle.

I also hung a framed Klimt-style print above the bed — lots of gold detailing and soft colors. It adds a little texture and femininity without being too ornate. And I found this vintage mirrored jewelry box at a random antique store that now lives on top of my dresser — it holds my everyday pieces and makes getting ready feel like a little ritual. And of course, all 400 of my perfumes are situated on their own glass shelf near my closet because they’re so pretty and trying new layering combos at will is my favorite hobby.

Best Bedsheets?

I’m picky about sheets. I need them to feel crisp but still soft — nothing too stiff or scratchy. My favorites are the Matouk Sierra percale sheets (they feel like fancy hotel bedding in the best way), but I also rotate in Brooklinen Luxe Sateen for something slightly silkier. If I’ve had a long week, the Brooklinen ones feel extra indulgent.

Favorite Candles & Diffusers?

Candles: Burr Do is my ride-or-die, but I also love Diptyque Feu de Bois in winter and Byredo Burning Rose when I’m feeling dramatic.

Diffuser: I use the Vitruvi stone diffuser (in white, obviously) with a rotating mix of their oils. Lately I’ve been into Grove and Boost — both smell like you live near a really expensive spa.

A question I encounter often is "How much Japanese should I study before I can begin reading in Japanese?"

From my experience as a learner and reader myself and from managing a Japanese book club for other learners I can honestly say that you can start way earlier than you probably think!

There are many resources that only require knowing hiragana. Those texts usually teach vocabulary through pictures and only use basic grammar.

Some are even simpler than that: The Japan Foundation's Hiragana Books are great for those, who are still remembering hiragana characters. Every short book introduces only 1-2 new characters, so it's a great reading exercise for those who've just started.

The free graded reader 「どうぞ、どうも」 by the NPO Tagengo Tadoku only uses the words 「どうぞ」 and 「どうも」 to write an entire story. Again, this makes for a great exercise in reading hiragana and understanding context. Another "level 0" recommendation by the same NPO would definitely be 「しろい？くろい？」. This book uses the full range of hiragana characters but the grammar is simple and all used vocabulary is illustrated.

Another site with great resources for absolute beginners is Nihongo Tadoku Dōjō. If you have memorized both hiragana and katakana and know how the particles を and で work you will be able to read this text about stationary (ぶんぼうぐ) and understand everything by looking at the pictures!

The resources linked so far can all be accessed completely free on the linked websites. If you have the money to spare, please also have a look at the box 「スタート」 from the series reberubetsu nihongo tadoku raiburarī published by the NPO Tagengo Tadoku and ASK (affiliate link). This box includes 8 little books in very simple Japanese.

All these texts for absolute beginners will get you started reading in Japanese with very little knowledge of characters and vocabulary.

conjunctions - words that are used to link phrases together

情報を加える // Adding information：

しかも　besides そのうえ　moreover, on top of that さらに　moreover, on top of that そればかりか　not only that, but also... そればかりでなく　not only that, but also...

情報を対比する // Putting into contrast：

それに対して　in contrast 一方　whereas

他の可能性・選択肢を言う // Giving alternatives：

あるいは　or perhaps (presenting another possibility) それとも　or (presenting another option within a question)

結論を出す// Drawing a conclusion：

そのため　for that reason したがって　therefore そこで　for that reason (I went ahead and did...) すると　thereupon (having done that triggered sth. to happen) このように　with this (adjusting a conclusion to the arguments given beforehand) こうして　in this way

理由を言う // Giving a reason：

なぜなら...からだ　the reason is というのは...からだ　the reason is

逆説を表現する // Expressing a contradiction：

だが　however, yet, nevertheless (contradicting what one would have expected) ところが　even so (spilling a surprising truth) それなのに　despite this, still それでも　but still (despite a certain fact, nothing changes)

説明を補う // Amending one's explanation：

つまり　that is, in other words (saying the same thing using different words) いわば　so to speak (making a comparison) 要するに　to sum up, in short

説明を修正する // Revising one's explanation：

ただし　however (adding an exception to the information stated beforehand) ただ　only, however もっとも　however (obviating any expectations that might arise through the previous statement) なお　in addition, note that (adding supplementary information)

話題を変える // Changing the subject：

When I started learning Japanese, I quickly discovered that “only” translates to だけ (dake). Soon after, I learned about しか (shika) and then ばかり (bakari). This led me to wonder how many ways there are to express the idea of "only" or "just" in the Japanese language. I began exploring the fascinating world of adverbs that convey limitation or exclusivity, each with its own specific nuance.

Here are some of the terms I’ve discovered (which I may continue to expand upon):

だけ (dake): Strongly emphasizes exclusivity, meaning that nothing else is included or considered. Example: 水だけください。 (Please give me only water.)

しか (shika) (used with a negative verb): Often conveys a sense of disappointment or limitation, implying that there’s nothing but the mentioned item, often with a sense of restriction. Example: 私は日本語しか話せません。 (I can only speak Japanese.)

ばかり (bakari): Suggests the dominance or prevalence of something, often with a sense of excess or monotony and a negative nuance. It does not imply strict exclusivity. Example: お菓子ばかり食べている。 (I’m only eating snacks.)

ばかし (bakashi): A casual variant of ばかり, used mostly in spoken language. It conveys a similar meaning but carries a more informal tone. Example: 遊んでばっかしいる。 (He’s only playing.)

のみ (nomi): Used in formal or written contexts, conveying exclusivity. It can sound elegant and refined. Example: 本日のみ有効です。 (Valid only today.)

ばかりか (bakari ka): This expression expands the meaning by introducing additional information, indicating more than just "only." Example: 彼は優しいばかりか、面白いです。 (He is not only kind but also funny.)

だけしか (dake shika) (used with a negative verb): This term combines だけ and しか, emphasizing strong exclusivity when used with negative constructions. Example: これだけしかない。 (There is only this.)

こそ (koso): Indicates that the highlighted item is particularly special or the best choice, often implying that nothing else can compare. Example: 今日こそ勉強する。 (Today, of all days, I will study.)

たった (tatta): Implies that an amount is minimal and often inadequate, highlighting a sense of limitation. Example: たった一人で旅行した。 (I traveled with just one person.)

わずか (wazuka): Emphasizes a minimal quantity or degree, often with a sense of surprise. Example: わずか10分で終わった。 (It only took 10 minutes.)

ほんの (honno): Indicates a small or trivial amount, often used to downplay something. Example: ほんの少しだけ食べた。 (I ate just a little bit.)

に限る (ni kagiru): This expression is used to convey that something is the best or only suitable choice for a situation. Example: 夏はアイスクリームに限る。 (Ice cream is the best for summer.)

だけでなく (dake de naku): Similar to ばかりか , this phrase is used to express that there’s more than just one thing happening. Example: 彼女は賢いだけでなく、優しいです。 (She is not only smart but also kind.)

単に (tan ni): Indicates simplicity; often used to clarify or explain something in a straightforward manner. Example: 単に冗談だよ。 (It’s just a joke.)

あくまで (akumade): Suggests that something is true only to a certain extent or in a specific context. Example: あくまで私の意見です。 (This is just my opinion.)

たかが (takaga): Often carries a dismissive connotation, suggesting that something is not very important. Example: たかが試験一回でどうなるものか。 (It’s just one exam; it won’t change much.)

This is due to cultural and linguistic nuances that emphasize the acknowledgment of another's internal state as somewhat inaccessible. In fact, Japanese typically employs expressions that convey a level of inference or indirectness, such as:

Using observational phrases: one might say 「彼は嬉しそうです」 (Kare wa ureshisō desu), which translates to "He seems happy" or "He/she looks happy." This phrasing respects the notion that one can only observe outward signs of emotion, not definitively know another's internal state.

Adding "ようだ" or "みたい": these suffixes add a sense of speculation. For example, 「彼は嬉しいようだ」 (Kare wa ureshii yō da) or 「彼は嬉しいみたいです」 (Kare wa ureshii mitai desu), both meaning "He appears to be happy."

Using conditional clauses: Another approach is to use conditional forms, like 「彼が嬉しければ」 (Kare ga ureshikereba), meaning "If he is happy," which implicitly acknowledges the uncertainty of truly knowing his feelings.

One characteristic of Japanese syntax is its extreme sensitivity to epistemological considerations based on the ego/nonego distinction or the distinction of I/the other. Our knowledge about the mental state of another person must necessarily come from our interpretation of external evidence, and this is well reflected in the Japanese language.