french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you
italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house
american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked
chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that’s it enjoy
Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn’t quite right. I don’t know what to tell you.
Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it.
Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three
Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT.
Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries’ cuisines AND neuroses.
Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl
ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.
internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister’s third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
Irish recipes:
Romanian recipes: more pork! I said MORE PORK!!
Afro-Caribbean recipes: if you think you’ve used enough curry and adobo then you are WRONG.
Norwegian recipes:
Salt
good
Pakistani recipes : just put everything into the pot and you’re good to go. You will never be able to satisfy your extended family anyway, so why bother
North indians: just put haldi, garam masala, and laal mirchi powder and onions. sab ban jaayega
South Indian recipes: MORE CHILLIES MORE CHILLIES MORE CHI-
Also South Indian recipes:
M U S T A R D
S E E D S
Also south indian recipes:
hOw dAReee yOU fOrGEt tHe COCONUT?!??!?!!?!??!?!!?!??!!?!?!??!
CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves CurryLeaves
Sri Lankan recipes: ……….this…….needs……..more.
sPiCeS
@pretty-boy-on-the-west-side
The Chinese recipe one is completely accurate
I love this post
