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pub bathrooms last night

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mephostophilis

are non brits aware of count binface.

mephostophilis

to give some entirely bizarre context, nigel farage (extreme cunt) has stepped down from his position as MP for clacton (due to a scandal where he received £5 million from a crypto billionaire that could have been laundered) only to run again so that he can prove people like him. and the only person running against him is count binface. who has been a staple of british politics for many years. and now the british press is forced to interview him seriously while he sits there with his binface.

spell-fox

For context Farage can't be prosecuted for this while not in office. His tactic is to be re-elected to show he is a man of the people beating all other parties (and therefore laws don't apply??). Other parties have chosen not to run ostensibly because it lends legitimacy to his stunt but more likely because it is a Reform stronghold and they are unlikely to challenge him anyway.

Except in the hour of need, a binface stepped up.

So either he gets in and is prosecuted, or he loses to a bin.

#such a mood improver of a situation

ozempicofficial

unofficial-autism-post

Unofficial Autism Post

penny-anna

get im

penny-anna

#finally some good fucking british politics thats laughably stupid again instead of just horrifying #was just thinking today that i miss the 2 3rds of disgraceful cheese type moments #and here comes this bullshit to lighten the mood #lets go clacton lets go 👏👏

letsmakethenaughtylistt

#i could tag some stuff but i wont

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awesomebutunpractical

You can have any animal for a pet. Any complications such as “keeping the animal healthy and happy” and “the time and effort it would take to keep happy and healthy pet” and “keeping yourself uneaten” and “the pet I want is kind of extinct” have all been solved perfectly. You don’t have to think of that.

What is your pet?

#SNOW LEOPARD

hiveswap

they dont tell you this but you carry your upset younger self in you like a parasitic twin

#she'll be okay when famous last words is played on saturday

emziess

Pingu S01E03

#yayyy

taking my dog swimming at 6pm on a wednesday because i can drive now which means i can do what i want

#unparalleled #she didnt get a midday walk because of the heat #just a very early one #was going to take her for a short evening walk but hold on ! i can do better

if a clothing item has lots of straps then i think every single strap should be adjustable come onnnnn this isnt a boxy tshirt

#cant even tell if its a too big or too small situation half the time #i would just like to adjust and find out #alas ......... every woman of the same clothes size must also be the same shape according to a company that should know better

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vedurnan

i was on the phone with my father earlier today talking about videogames (typical for conversation with my father), i was telling him about my lord of the rings online character who i imagine is a horse-thief from rohan and my father said “i imagine that is a very serious crime in rohan” with real concern in his voice

#would actually genuinely commit murder to have a father like this

courtmartialme

i know everyone is tired of hearing it from me but i'll never be free from how people think you can only ship a het ship WOKELY if the man is a pathetic useless idiot and the girl babysits and pegs him and has the personality of a door. i promise you won't get your woke card revoked if you spend five minutes of your time to consider the girl has a personality and the guy might be a competent person. and maybe she likes getting dicked down and is a little pathetic too. have you considered also liking the girl and maybe wanting her to be a spoiled baby too? also I'll Kill You

#can i say copia & the ghoulettes #multiple tags have been typed and deleted #love & light

mistressaccost

you can have random one sided beef with ANYONE! it’s so beautiful. and it doesn’t cost any money!!!!!!

#the girl on placement at the wildlife rescue #i cant stand her

i doubt my teaching skills when it comes to showing new volunteers how to handle/feed/weigh the birds at the wildlife centre but today i got to overhear someone new i'd been teaching (whilst she was talking to a friend) and she was just enthusing about everything we'd done that morning with a huge grin on her face. she also told me directly that she loved it, but it was something else to hear her tell a different person about how cool it was to feed baby birds. i worry that my uncertainty with instructing & demonstrating will translate into too much stress for the new person for anything to be enjoyable, & hearing otherwise has made my week

#i've got a bad habit of not believing people when they tell me they're happy about things to my face #like of course you'll say i was helpful and you had fun and thank me because you don't want to upset me #<- untrue but im just paranoid #so hearing her get excited about it to someone else was genuinely healing #it also made me remember how much fun i had at the start too #because atp feeding the birds is such a chore and i'm grateful when other people do it #because it means i can focus on other stuff #but at the beginning .. holy shit i was buzzing every time #giving a tiny bird some food by putting a syringe down its throat and having it gape for you #is an incredible experience #and i'm glad i was able to give someone else that experience #enough that she was comfortable doing it alone by the end of the shift #and also wanted to tell her friend all about it #whilst grinning #:')

peachfromcmbyn

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

nixpunk

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paulandersonxo

do nuns have pockets

paulandersonxo

question answered thanks #MediaNun

#MediaNun........

t00thpasteface

me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

#<-#my INDUSTRIAL GUILLOTINE #snip snip #(i make books ajsbsj)

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