Obsession. Passion. Is there even a difference?

It's way too hot to sit for hours with a overheating laptop and drawing tablet, so I've been exploring more of Procreate. Hopefully, as I learn more of its possibilities, I'll make different fanarts, but for now here's one of the best MCU Cap scenes.

My Chris is improving. Seb has a very complicated smile in here and I lost a bit of likeness as I tried to capture his expression. But oh I love this scene so much, I think I've saved it like ten times in my phone gallery.

My take on Leyendecker’s “The Donchester” with Steve and Bucky in one of my favorite scenes of MCU’s Cap trilogy.

I’m still experimenting with Procreate’s new pencil brushes and having more fun than in the last three years combined. Especially with the time-lapse feature.

Folds and hair are still my favorite part to draw, no matter the medium, but I’m happy to see my Seb likeness is improving. Time to work on Chris, now. Cause in my MCU there isn’t one without the other, ship or bromance it doesn't matter, I will die on the altar of loyalty and codependency till death of afterlife.

I almost didn't make it, but hey, it's still the 4th of July in the US, so happy birthday to Steve Rogers and the true embodiment of what a hero is supposed to be.

Someone on twitter asked for the photo from the latest Sebastian Stan photoshoot, but with Bucky and Alpine. And you know, I just couldn't pass on the opportunity. Inspo under the cut.

Not sure I'll be able to make another fanart next week as my brother and his girlfriend are visiting, but I'll do my best.

Also on my instagram.

My dad was a huge fan of comics when he was a child, and that has continued on for all of his life.

I didn’t read the same comics as him, but they were still something that we shared. He got me started on Disney classics, and superheroes, and Italian classics too; he was the one who got me to the cinema to watch every new superhero movie.

Then 2020 and covid came. And took my dad.

Now, I’m not gonna turn this into a tearjerker story about a sweet bond between a little girl and her daddy through heroic characters and moral teachings about responsibilities. That wasn’t the relationship we had and there’s a lot of baggage and unresolved issues that I’m not gonna discuss on tumblr. Suffice to say, for years I drifted off from western comics and got back to my other teenage interests, such as videogames and manga, cause they’d only ever been mine, no strings attached.

I’m writing this because, as you might have seen (or not, tumblr has changed a lot in the last few years and I have no idea how it works anymore), I’ve recently returned to the MCU fandom. More to the point, I’m full back into hyperfixation territory. And yet, while I do feel like I can finally breathe again after years in which the lack of fandom life felt like a part of me was missing, I still feel somewhat wrong because this is something from before, and something that used to mean something – and fuck, of course a part of my identity is missing, a part of everything is missing.

But when I say I have a complicated relationship with MCU I mean it. This is just one side of said complicated relationship.

In a just world where Endgame didn't happen and they got back to Brooklyn, though I forgot halfway how fire escapes look and turned theirs into a balcony. Oh well.

I went back to this piece again and again and I'm still not sure about the shadows, but I wanted to post it to keep riding the high of my return to this fandom. Not sure if I can actually have a new piece every week, but we'll see. There'll be no end to this line.

Close-up under the cut.

Double the Bucky, double the angst!

This is a concept I've been wanting to explore in a fanart for quite some time, but never felt I had the right idea for it. How do you convey the tragedy and the horror in a single piece? I felt like my skills were nowhere near what I would need for it.

But then I started sketching and the layout came out completely by chance. I found the right reference photos among the (admittedly too many) pictures I have saved of Sebastian Stan on my phone, and had more fun than I expected painting metal coming out of the shadow.

Beneath the cut a close-up to flex the improved likeness and an experiment that felt too right not to post.

Also on my instagram.

I've always loved the fact that Captain America is an artist in the comics, it feels just so fitting for the character that is supposed to embody ideal of freedom and fighting for it. Cause what is art after all?

A little nostalgic piece to keep feeding into my newfound hyperfixation. Till the end of the fucking line.

Never been to USA cause I'm poor af, but hopefully I'll manage to visit Brooklyn one day. It's been on my dream list for about as long as Japan after all, though I can't remember what started it all.

The best way to get better at drawing is getting obsessed over a character and drawing them again and again. Or so I tell myself as I give in to my fangirlism.

Third attempt to make a semi-decent Sebastian Stan. With the addition of Scarlett Johansson, because two hot people is better motivation than one.

And yes, I still feel robbed of my winterwidow in MCU. Damn them.

So as I mentioned I'm somehow back with a full MCU hyperfixation that came out of nowhere after... six years? seven? How long ago that clusterfuck that was Endgame came out? Holy shit, the world was different back then.

Anyway. I'm not a shipper, never have been, never will be, but I still love these two for what they are, however you wanna call it. "Till the end of the line" has been my WhatsApp status for close to ten years, the football team I've loved since I was ten has the same motto. Unearthly loyalty is my love language.

Anyway. Long hair for the Winter Soldier is @sharewithmeyourpoem's fault, but it's not like I tried fighting it at all. The Hydra arm is the coolest ever, sorry Shuri. The stealth suit is a work of art and I loved finding out details I had never noticed before.

Detail shots below the cut to show off the somewhat achieved resemblance to the actors and the tiny things I'm proud of. I had an unhealthy dose of fun painting leather and metal.

Also on my instagram.

It's been so long since I last posted my art on tumblr I didn't even remember how you do it lol

So I'm still alive. And for some reason back into the Marvel/MCU fandom? I don't know, I've stopped wondering how my brain works, I'm just rolling with it. No, I didn't watch the Black Widow movie, MCU destroyed one of their best characters with Endgame and I haven't recovered since.

With the DC news about both Sebastian Stan and Scarlett Johansson being cast in the upcoming Batman movie (and rumors about them playing husband and wife) my little winterwidow heart swelled with old regret. Oh how we were robbed in the MCU! So, you see, I had to do something. I even managed to make them somewhat look like the actors! (kinda, sorta, not really, but maybe?)

So here they are: Red Room training, Winter Soldier deadeye lethal calm, teenager Nat being badass, someone who could be Yelena staring in amazed worry, cold-proof-clothed Siberian bad guy watching with detached interest.

You can find this on instagram as well. I actually have one more Marvel piece that I finished but I'm not sure it'd be Meta safe. Maybe tumblr will be the right platform for it, we'll see.