🎶Gabu Gabu 2.0 🎶

This is not metaphorical. I mean actual, literal pieces of paper/plastic/metal/whatever explicitly erected to inform the public.

“How did you know this was the right trail?” I read the sign.

“Wow, how did you know what that flower is?” There’s a SIGN.

“How did you know we needed to use the side door?” THERE IS A SIGN POSTED ON THE FRONT DOOR.

Just…why are we having such different experiences of the world? People can read. I KNOW they can read. There’s nothing wrong with their vision.

Just. READ. THE. GOD. DAMN. SIGN.

This also applies to:

Syllabi

Read something else

Bitch PRIVATELY to friends

Write your own take on the premise (strongly recommend!)

All of the above

Lan Sizhui has to be at least 17, possibly 18, and most of the other juniors are a similar age with Jin Ling being on the younger end at 15. Everyone agrees that these are children (they’re right) and that they should be protecting them and preventing them fighting and running into danger, that their safety is a priority and they shouldn’t be involved with the adults’ conflicts.

And it’s just- Jiang Cheng was 17 when he became a wartime sect leader. Wei Wuxian was 17 when he was thrown into the burial mounds and became one of the most feared combatants of the Sunshot Campaign. Lan Xichen was 19 when he became Sect leader. Jin ZiXuan was maybe 18 when he was doing most of the actual frontline fighting for his sect.

I’m not sure how much that theme carried through for other clans but likely a considerable amount since the Wen’s had eradicated the leadership of many of the minor clans first.

But the Juniors are children and it’s the adults’ job to protect them. And the adults are there, they’re present and they are planning to leave the children the hell out of it because that’s an option now. These kids aren’t allowed in their war conferences- they’re only there for this as hostages because it’s a given that their parents would come and rescue them.

And THEN your brother's situationship crashes the party, and there's a lot of complicated feelings there, this is the man your brother has absolutely destroyed his life over, this man has caused your brother two decades of pain and suffering as you've had to watch him slowly tear himself apart with grief. Also your brother really desperately wants to sleep with this guy. So. There's that. Also he is just. Visibly covered in hickeys.

And THEN your brother's situationship accidentally lets slip that he's NOT sleeping with your brother and DOESN'T know that your brother is madly in love with him and literally everyone in the building (including your trusted and beloved situationship) has to stop what they're doing and ponder this fundamental flaw in the universe. You are so blinded by rage you temporarily have to play couple's counselor and simultaneously tear this guy a new one for daring to put your little brother through all this grief and not even having the decency to be aware of it. And you're still a hostage (maybe?)

ANYWAYS, then the little brother in question shows up and he also looks like he's having one of the worst days of his life (Worst days of his life #1-#4 also involve his situationship. You know this for a fact.) and your situationship threatens to kill his situationship, which would absolutely skyrocket this from The Fifth Worst Day Of His Life to Numero Uno Worst Day Of His Life.

And THEN the guy being held at knifepoint (stringpoint? Semantics.) takes a deep breath and loudly proclaims to everyone assembled that he DOES want to fuck your brother. He waits a beat. He looks ready to repeat himself.

You stop him.

All of you get shuffled into a further hostage holding area and told to sit tight so you have to sit there and pretend not to overhear your brother and his situationship have an extremely deep and emotional conversation and also talk about all the awesome sex they're going to have if they survive this.

FINALLY you are saved from your agonies by your situationship almost dying and fully revealing himself as a for real villain, which hits like a knife to the heart because you loved him, you thought you could trust him, but you have your principles and you have to stick by them. It's what your other (dead) situationship would have wanted.

ONLY THEN FOR YOUR OTHER (DEAD) SITUATIONSHIP TO SHOW UP.

Your dead situationship is trying to make your other sitautionship also dead and the problem is your dead situationship is really, really good at making things be dead. Actually that's only one of the problems. You have a lot of problems.

For example, you have this problem where you are also really really good at making things be dead and you end up running your sword through your situationship's gut. And with his dying breaths, he tries to drag you with him. Finally, all three of you can be together. One big, happy (extremely dead) situationship.