You are being Deceived

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis

common advice for social anxiety is to tell yourself "people aren't going to think less of you just because you said something a bit daft" but the thing is. sometimes they will. and you just have to learn to be cool with that and to treat it as a dnd random encounter rather than letting it ruin your whole day

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

i'm so disturbed by the idea that not everyone is delighted when they spot a hand drawn amongus crewmate out there in the world. i feel pure joy when i see it especially these days

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

the author’s barely disguised job they worked in their early 20s

you make one fucking post where the point is “women are encouraged to develop disordered eating from a very young age and that impacts how we view the ‘natural’ size and shape of women” and too many reblogs later i am being accused of saying short people wouldn’t exist if they ate better growing up. i’m sorry but if you genuinely think i was saying that you are just a buffoon. i cannot and will not sanction your buffoonery.

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this already