Your Guide To Feelings

My future wife. I want to follow her around with my camera, capturing every curve of her body, every freckle, at every time of the day. I want to take a million pictures together like every perfect tumblr couple and actually BE that in love with one another. I want to bring her breakfast in bed. I want to snuggle up to her after and relax our morning away with laughter and touch and lazy naps. I want to look at her at 11:00pm and suggest ice cream, and the keys are already in her hand. I want to hold her hand and never question whether it’s okay, no matter where we are. I want us to record everything- our love notes, our adventures, our running makeup after a hard day. I want to bring her coffee and a sandwich when she’s having a long day at work. I want to leave her notes on her windshield… and in her glovebox, her makeup bag, her sock drawer, her glasses case… anywhere. Just to make her heart smile. I want us to find so much joy in life outside of one another but still call each other home. I want to not see one another for a few days because we’re both so damn busy with our professional lives- but I want to miss her endlessly while we’re apart. I want to sit with her in a coffee shop in silence, absorbed in our books. I want to be slightly less absorbed than she is so I can still sneak glances at that beautiful, oblivious face. I want us to feel and be secure and safe no matter the distance between us because we trust and believe in our relationship. I want my family to love us together so much that they invite HER family over sometimes, too. I want to spend hours getting to know her family. I want to cook for her. Bake for her. Light the candles for her. I want to be her rock, and I want her to be mine. I want her to make mistakes, because that means she’s human (but don’t try and convince me she isn’t an angel). I want to lay in bed talking about the world until we fall asleep in each other’s arms. I want her to challenge me. I want to spend weekends in the woods and weekdays in pillow forts. I want to hike mountains with this girl. I want to marry her and have children with her. I want to love her so hard I’ll question whether I’m crazy. And after long, hard days- because there undoubtedly will be days like that- I want to look at her and not for a single moment wish I was anywhere else, with anyone else. I want to look at her and choose her every day, in every moment. I want to never, ever stop choosing her.

also, cowboy culture was hella gay. like, write-poems-about-your-cowboy-partner gay.

There’s an ache in my chest like Someone has replaced me. New girls to hold your hand and to touch you and to fall In love with you. My heart hurts at the thought of it, but Life will continue, even if I’m in pain. I will survive on my own. Don’t try to call. I don’t even Need to tell you not to. You never call Anymore.