Lost Woods

Here’s to swimming between their knees

So, if you know any big-nosed women

Who like to go swimming

I used Ramadan to try and quit and went the whole month without drinking so i feel like i can more or less quit that and just get high.

Especially cause walking around outside in the city and listening to music feels way more pleasurable.

In my fool-headed attempt to alleviate my worst symptoms of anxiety and autism i slowly drank more and more. i would say it's still not a full on chemical addiction since i've gone several weeks without any without any withdrawal symptoms so in that regard i am lucky.

but i've blacked out far too often. Embarrassed myself. Behaved unkindly. Ruined several friendships.

beyond that i've withdrawn a lot. i've always had trouble making friends but now i don't even bother.

if that wasn't bad enough the rising flood of fascism threatens to wipe away what little joy i have left.

i've deleted several social media accounts. partly because i don't want to embarrass myself or ruin any other friendships. partly cause i find them increasingly useless and even harmful.

Cake is still healthy and happy. the lilacs are flowering. and ive been working out and strengthening my body. so not all is gloomy.