Hyperfixation Hell

some people really don’t realize how privileged they are that they get fanfics for free. imagine having access to something for free because someone is kind enough to share it with you… and then being rude, entitled and an ungrateful pos to that person who was kind enough to share their creation with you for free

“almost 1 year is a lil too much for me” fuck off. fanfic writers don’t owe you anything. one of my favorite fics was updated after 13 years, and what I did is that I thanked the author for choosing to continue the work, I didn’t act like a spoiled toddler by asking why they didn’t update sooner. and even if a writer chooses to abandon their fic permanently with no explanation, that is their choice, their hobby, their decision. they don’t owe your entitled ass anything.

it’s sad how ppl overlook how traumatic that transformation is. cas loses literally everything: heaven, purpose, certainty, belonging, etc. angels who deviate are punished by getting their memories wiped and their core reprogrammed. so his arc is abt disillusionment/reconstruction of self, next to his tuning into more human feelings like care/compassion. he has to build an identity from scratch—values, loyalties…even the concept of choice!

so that’s why the take that cas “only exists for dean” misses the point. cas repeatedly shows he forms attachments beyond just one person—he cares abt sam, (overtime) abt humanity at large, and abt individuals he bonds w along the way. his loyalty and empathy expand outward as he learns what it means to CHOOSE ppl rather than simply obey heaven. and it’s important to highlight that sam is absolutely is part of that too; cas protects him, believes in him, ultimately taking on sam’s madness to spare him the torment (after having broken sam’s wall). and during that period when his mind is fractured—his bond w meg becomes especially clear. meg stays w him, watches over him, and cas responds to that devotion w real tenderness, finding her desire to care for him especially comforting (even while being a demon) saying: 7x21: “Will you look at her? My caretaker. All of that thorny pain. So beautiful." there’s genuine care there, not just humor/flirtation…

so cas’ capacity for attachment isn’t singular or one-directional; his arc is abt slowly learning how to feel—how to care, desire to actually trust, and ofc, to love at all. i’d even argue he shows signs of sexual attraction long before he fully understands romantic attachment, bc feeling itself is smth he has to develop over time! that gradual awakening—to connection and loyalty, even affection across multiple ppl—is a huge part of what makes his trajectory so compelling!

destiel can be an interesting lens, absolutely! but it’s not the foundation of cas’ storyline. the foundation is cas choosing humanity over heaven over and over again, even when humanity fails him. this is rebellion born from empathy, smth extremely foreign to angels who aren’t meant to feel at all, but learned from watching sam and dean! it’s an angel realizing morality isn’t dictated by heaven!

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

How many police officers does this man need to flirt with? (i.e. my boobs are real, you're awesome twink rookie, tiny handcuffs for tiny paws, etc etc)

Men hit on him literally so often. Guys are practically throwing themselves at him (i.e. you're a virile manifestation of the divine, we had eye magic, YOURE PRETTY 2X!!)

He's seen Lost Boys 1000 times. 👀

The nuns

"What's it like settling down with another hunter..." he had that much needed conversation with elder gays shout-out to elder gays

Sam asked if Dean was "strictly into dick" after he went on a rant about Dick Roman. Pause. That was the funniest joke Sam could have told to someone who's sexually fluid and it was in his pocket locked, loaded, and ready to go. And the best part is🤌 Dean 🤌 didn't 🤌 answer 🤌 him.

All of his best friends (people Dean said the words "my best friend" about) are gay.

Spanky the demon, the one that uses too much teeth. I don't have anything else to add.

Multiple characters believe that Dean crossed a sexual line with Castiel and that's why they're so close. They have, with a straight face, said "he's your boyfriend" and "he's in love with you".

Benny saying Dean humped his soul to the other side. Sir. Lower your voice.

That scene where he winked at a bartender, messed up his hair in front of him, and then hustled a bunch of college boys out of their money like he was Megan Fox in Jennifer's Body.

If he could swap bodies with any other person, it would be a "hot cheerleader". He doesn't want to date a hot cheerleader, he wants to be a hot cheerleader.

He rode Larry.

John and Sam are 'called to adventure' Joseph Campbell style, Dean is forced to it by obligations of the heart = the hero's journey, queered.

The deep liminality of their lives on the road, never really part of anything, living in motels, a motherless family, two fatherless boys, fighting monsters = family, American Dream, the very idea of heroism queered.

Dean is named for Dean Moriarty, who is a queer character from On The Road based on actual bisexual Neal Cassady. THAT'S WHY HIS NAME IS DEAN. Interestingly, Neal Cassady's wife wrote about him as being "the archetype of the American Man". He had a sexual relationship with Allen Ginsberg on and off for 20 years.

Monsters as queer allegory, and the very blurred lines about who the actual monsters of Supernatural really are = elements of queer theory 101.

Dean's role in his family is essentially feminine; he is John's partner, Sammy's mother, and he's the emotional heart of the family = masculine family role queered.

Sam gets Ruby as a supernatural helper, Dean gets Cas. Sam has a sex story with Ruby and raises Lucifer, Dean has a love story with Cas and togethe they invent free will. Again, a queered hero's journey.

Dean's complete inability to be at home in the straight world -- meaning, the world where everything is normative as shown in his Djinn dream, his relationship with Lisa, etc. Dean is not ok in normative spaces. Because Dean = QUEER.

There is no Abel in the Cain and Abel story and they invented Collette and then explicitly paralleled her with Cas as the person it would break Dean to kill. Like, that is just... that was crazy man. Bible stories queered!

The way Dean suffers when Cas is gone, moves his trenchcoat from stolen car to stolen car the whole time he's gone. The way he spent a year refusing to leave purgatory without Cas. The way he gives that fucking coat back to Cas?!

The fact that the entire last season of the show is structured around the emotional beats of the love story between Cas and Dean, right up until the fucked up end.

The fact that in the end, the only thing that's real, and the only thing that can save the world is fundamentally non-compliant love. Love that will not bend to 'god's will'.

There is so much more!! Dean's queerness is such a deep and undeniable feature of the story, and believe it:

- Dean making reference to him and Cas being Thelma and Louise sailing off this cliff together (who are lesbians and do so while kissing).

- Dean knows two things: Bert and Ernie are gay, and Cas is not going to die a virgin.

- Dean telling the fanfiction play actors for himself and Sam to “take a sub step back there ladies” while not making any corrections regarding the S-E-X or nature of Destiel in Act II.

- Sam teasing Dean by making up ship names for Cas and himself instead (but doesn’t act the least bit surprised by the scenario), to which Dean tells him to “do that thing where you just shut the hell up, forever.”

- Male Villain: “Get on your knees” Dean: “Well, I’m flattered really”.

- Beaten bloody, on his knees, unwilling to fight back, “I need you.”

- Performing the Hunter’s Funeral for Cas by himself.

- “Nice peach fuzz” *playful face tap*.

- Lucifer disguising himself as Cas while trying to trick Dean; Lucifer only ever appears as the target’s lover in previous examples.

- Dean making a Led Zepp mixtape for Cas to parallel the exact same way his parents fell in love.

- “Don’t ever change.” *gives him the fondest look in existence*.

- Cas being unable to locate them via angelic powers due to rib carvings; Cas also being able to locate Dean after Purgatory due to feeling a person’s longing.

- “Y’know what, blow me Cas.” “Cas, not for nothing, but the last person who looked at me like that—I got laid” *winks*. “Cas, get out of my ass!” “I was never in your….” *confused looks x2*.

- Dean being suicidal after Cas’ death, then suddenly hopeful again once Cas is revived; “I said I needed a big win; we got Cas back. That’s a pretty damn big win.”

- Rowena doing couples’ counseling between him and Cas. “What am I picking up from you two? A wee tiff?” “Boys? Fix it. I don’t have many regrets, but the few I do still haunt me…Then one day you die…and you can’t make it right. So fix it!”

- Naomi’s office changing to the bi flag colors only while Dean is begging for Cas to break out of her mind control.

- Mary asks how long she was gone, Dean replies “33 Years.” Cas asks how long he was gone, Dean replies “Too damn long.” It was about two weeks-

- Cas getting the Colt from under Dean’s pillow-

- Dean’s fetishes being doctors and cowboys- then Cas dressing as both throughout the show-

I love you my Sastiel baddies. i see you and you're doing amazing. I even read Sastiel fics a lot of the time cause damn.. ya'll can WRITE. And the ART???? Don't get me started. I completely see the appeal and would honestly be indifferent/happy if it was cannon, they're so cuteeee and the dynamic would be so interesting.