Another thing I really like about Koisenu Futari, is how it exemplifies the ways amatonormativity also impacts allo people.
When Sakuko’s sister Minori gets proof that her husband is cheating on her (after actively investigating to make sure).
She’s still hesitant to divorce him.
Not because she still loves him (that doesn’t come up even once).
Not because he is a great husband beyond the cheating (the screaming match about how she was the only one taking care of their daughter shows pretty clearly that he wasn’t pulling his weight).
Not even because it’s a lot harder to raise two kids on her own (tough it is mention in passing - did I mention she’s 9 months pregnant at that point? and then promptly goes into labor?).
Not even really what society is going to say about her (even tough it would be completely justified, especially in Japan).
But because she’s terrified of being alone.
And then again while she's in labor
In that way, she mirrors Sakuko’s own fear of loneliness.
And of course, she associates being single with being lonely. Because amatonormativity.
She verbalizes the relationship elevator: getting married, having a child, buying a house, another child. She calls it "a game of adulthood".
But while she comes to the conclusion that she failed at this "game of adulthood", she doesn't really get to the conclusion that it's bullshit.
Even with her sister's example right in front of her, she has trouble imagining happiness outside of marriage.
Most likely because she still sees Sakuko and Takahashi's relationship as abnormal, and therefore reserved to abnormal people. So she can't apply their example of being happy outside of marriage to herself yet. Not when she's tried to hard to be the perfect normal woman.
But no matter if Minori believes it or not, single doesn't have to mean lonely, which Sakuko proves immediately by promising to always stand by her sister's side.
And then Sakuko meets Takahashi’s ex Haruka, who explains that she moved to the countryside after their break-up, and then started up her (now very successful) farm.
Sakuko’s reaction is to say it was then a blessing in disguise
To which Haruka thanks her, saying that most people are just sad for her because she’s “old” (around 40) and still single, even tough she’s perfectly happy as is.
She’s a really good illustration that:
amatonormativity impacts everyone who strays out of it, it doesn't matter if you're aro or allo
you don’t need to be aro to be happy outside of amatonormativity’s expectation
And in that way, I feel like that makes her an optimistic answer to Minori’s concerns about loneliness.
(And then of course there is Kazu-kun, but there is so much to say about him, he'll get his own post.)
I really liked that the shows takes the time to talk about those experiences, because it makes amatonormativity much more real. It is a systemic issue, so of course it impacts everyone.
And I think we've all had discussions like this, where other people's own internalized amatonormativity also completely invalidated our experiences.
So it was great to see it explored so clearly here.
(also this has nothing and everything to do with it, but the fact that in the credit, Minori is called by her husband's name. I don't think it's used in the show itself but. You know. All of a woman identity depending on her husband. All that.)
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