A community for non-partnering individuals on the aromantic spectrum
I made a non-partnering aro community btw, for anyone who wants to join. I meant to share it sooner but I forgot.
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@aroaceandetc
A community for non-partnering individuals on the aromantic spectrum
I made a non-partnering aro community btw, for anyone who wants to join. I meant to share it sooner but I forgot.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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aros: we NEED to talk about how we treat romance in this community, because the way things are is really bad
first off, being romance repulsed is completely ok. being loveless or heartless is completely ok. I'm not asking any of you to suddenly turn over a new leaf and love (or even like) romance.
however, we've gotta stop treat romance like some dirty awful thing that we should hate and shame. romance is integral to the identities of a GOOD chunk of allosexual (and even arospec!) queer people. gay people did not fight for their right to love who they love just for you to say their love is wrong. because that's what you're saying when you say romance is ickyāyoure saying queer expression is icky, too
bashing gay romance because you're sex repulsed is no better than a homophobe bashing gay romance because they're homophobic, and actually just makes it easier for anti-queer rhetoric to get into your head. and no, bashing cishet romance only doesn't work either. there's LOTS of queer people who "appear" cishet, whether they're trans or bi or ace or aro, even. you cannot be romance negative AND respect queer people who participate in romance
stop demonizing romance, you're hurting your queer siblings when you do so
I don't see people bashing romance. I see people bashing the expectation that everyone should care about/want romance aka amatonormativity.
Which 100% deserves to get bashed.
There's definitely a hell of a lot more people bashing arospec people and our life choices than the opposite, and I don't care to hear it.
Reading this post and the responses, and thinking about all the discussions I've witnessed in the aro communities, one thing I've come to realize is that there isn't any 'brand' of aro who hasn't voiced feeling unwelcome in the community before. Romo aros say they feel unwelcome because they aren't romance repulsed or still date or still feel some romantic attraction.
And on the flip side, I've seen loveless and aplatonic and really romance repulsed aros say they feel unwelcome because of how much 'but aros can still love their friends!' is used to 'humanize' us and the way qprs are simplified and idealized. And in my own experience, most people I've seen say they are romance repulsed is more in a 'egh do Not want to date' kind of way, but they still like romance in stories and ships and all that, which can make aros who are repulsed enough to really not feel comfortable with any of that feel like a minority.
Arguably the only aros who seem to kinda be well represented in the community are mildly romance-repulsed plato-favorable aroaces who like romance in media and have or are pursuing a qpr, which...is a very small and specific group of people who probably have still managed to feel left out sometimes.
All this to say, I think the aro community is big enough now that different sections have slightly different problems - because I don't believe any of these people are lying about their experiences of feeling unwelcome. There are people who ARE bashing on romance and alienating romo aros, and there ARE people dismissing or dehumanizing aros who dislike romance.
Everyone has their own personal relationship with - and emotional baggage associated with, generally - romance, platonicism, sexuality, and their experiences with them in the community, and I think probably everyone could work on being aware of when they're speaking in a public space and have to be mindful not to step on any toes vs when they're in a space you can just vent (and try to keep in mind which space you're entering as well).
Blogs are traditionally places you can vent. Old school ones I'd say are still good for that. But places like tumblr are extremely public, and I think a lot of harm comes from public vent posts and knee-jerk reactions to those posts spiraling because there's no moderation or sense of context in a site that puts anything you post into the public tag, sometimes even when you don't tag it.
another poll for the aros :] how do you feel about shipping/fictional romance?
i really enjoy it and have a lot of ships i like
fictional romance is fine but i don't ship outside of what's canon
there's only a couple of noncanon pairings that i really ship
i'm indifferent/don't participate enough in fandom to care
i don't care for any sort of fictional romance, even canon relationships
i don't like/understand the point of shipping and dislike that genre of fanon
other/i have very specific feelings on this (please elaborate in tags!)
if ur not arospec do NOT vote in this poll thanks :] i'm curious to see how many aspec people like vs. don't like shipping considering we don't experience romantic attraction. i'd also love to hear your thoughts in the tags!!
Quick question on the cupioromantic flag from an aro who stepped out of the more active community circles for a little bit: what is the current one people are using, it feels like multiple are in use in different ways? I remember the four stripe (Grey/purple/white/pink) as being for cupioromantic. But now I've seen people say that's specifically for cupiosexual and the cupioromantic one either has a green stripe or is a multi-stripe iteration of the flag with two pinks at the top? Did the definitions shift around or something? Thank you in advance for any info offered!
[ID: Icons of Midna from Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess against the aromantic spectrum flag. The flag has dark green / light green / yellowish white / teal / dark teal stripes, and the art used shows:
Midna in her imp form, with one hand on her hip, and the other held outward as she grins.
Midna in her imp form, with both hands on her hips and glancing down with a grin and a condescending expression.
Midna in her imp form, lounging with a smirk and her arms held comfortably behind her head.
Midna in her true form, standing and reaching outward with her right hand, and holding a floating mirror behind her with her other hand. End ID]

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stop telling arospecs there are "other kinds of love! not everything is romantic there's platonic love too!" yes there is but not everyone experiences platonic love. not everyone experiences familial love. not everyone experiences love. it shouldn't be a prerequisite to our validity. we have heard it a hundred times before and we shouldn't have to explain to everyone, including other arospecs, that some of us are loveless.
reminder that the issues of polyamorous people is included under amatonormativity. amatonormativity is a term that refers to a really wide concept and refers to both the expectation for people to want romance and for people to want monogamy
Continuing our aspec voices series, check out this link to read our article on aro-spec men:Ā https://taaap.org/2022/02/21/asaw-22-aro-men/#more-1187
[ID:Ā āI wish allos respected alloaro menās sex lives, history, and privacy.ā - Jules.Ā āAro masc people exist and it does not mean we are ābasically hetā just because the toxic heterosexuality and masculinities refuse any romantic expression from men.ā -Ā AmalthƦ.Ā āBeing queer doesnāt make you non-problematic but guys (or anyone else) arenāt bad just because theyāre alloaro.ā - S.Ā
āI would love to see the community share more aro male positive info or stats.ā - Chris.Ā āRealizing that I am aro made me feel more at ease with my gender identity and presentationā¦.It was liberating.āĀ - AmalthƦ.Ā āAs Iāve come to terms with being aro, I began to accept myself more as a man. I had tied my worth as a man to being a romantic partner, and as I understood my aromanticism, I became more comfortable.ā - August. End ID.]
love does not make you human. stop saying you are human because of your love. you are human regardless of your love. aro people shouldnt have to face "but you love too in a different way". some of us dont and that doesnt make us any less human.
aro people are human too.
We hope ASAW has started off well for you! Continuing our highlights of lesser-seen niches of the aro community, today we are highlighting older aros. Read the full article here:Ā https://taaap.org/2022/02/22/asaw-22-older-aros/
[ID:Ā āMost of the aro community Iāve met range from their late teens to their late 20ās so it can be a little awkward.ā - RC.Ā āMy entire life I had never understood what romance was and had asked others about it, and never received a satisfactory answer. Never received one that I understood. If I had discovered it sooner, I would have navigated my life and relationships differently, and understood myself better.ā - Ryan.Ā
āI wish I discovered [aromanticism] as a teen, it would have been far better. I really found out about it two years ago and it was like a light going on.ā - Eryn Goetz.Ā āThatās the neat thing with queer spaces: the calendar age does not matter very much. There is no age to figure out who we are.ā -Ā AmalthƦ.Ā āI can say to the younger folks thatĀ āHey, Iām nearly 40 and long term single, things are cool. I can help guide you.āā - Chris. End ID.]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
A little understood part of our community is those who want to become parents. We have a full article featuring their voices here:Ā https://taaap.org/2022/02/22/asaw-22-aros-parenting/ . Thank you to all who contributed!
[ID:Ā āWhen advocating for bills for single households and non romantic housemates/partnerships, make sure to advocate for single parents, and the ability to adopt when unmarried/unpartnered too. The ability to have or raise kids shouldnāt depend on romantic relationships.ā - Alex.Ā āParenting is entirely separate from romance, aromanticism, and sexuality. It doesnāt have to be in a marriage framework.ā - Eryn Goetz.Ā
āThe fact that we rarely experience romantic attraction doesnāt make us less fit to be parents nor does it make us love our children less.ā - Chio.Ā āSome aros (like me) will want apparentlyĀ ātraditionalā relationships (American dream: couple, 2.5 kids, a house) (in my case itās not just a couple, but rather a polycule).ā - Jules.Ā āAro communities can better support me by acknowledging that some aros have/want kids.ā - Alyssa G. End ID.]
Today we posted an article featuring disabled and neurodivergent aros! From the tumblr sphere, @a-romanticāaromantic provided their perspective - thanks to all contributors!
You can read the full article here:Ā https://taaap.org/2022/02/23/asaw-22-disabled-neurodivergent-aros/#more-1201
[ID:Ā āI havenāt seen much representation of chronically ill aros or aros with other disabilities. Itād be nice to see not only representation, but to hear our stories.ā - Ally Ravago.Ā āMy aro identity actually directly reflects my neurodivergence; I have a hard time being able to differentiate big feelings, what they are and what they mean. So itās really hard to understand if Iām feeling romantic attraction or not.ā - Alex.Ā āIn aro communities, Iāve felt deeply disconnected and alone because platonic relationships are featured many times. I canāt want, keep or make them. It has made me feel like besides failing at love, I also fail at an essential thing that would make me human.ā - Jules.Ā
ā[Aromanticism is] not an unwanted side effect and I am happy with my identity. Please stop seeing me as less than human.ā - V.Ā āI have to be careful about who I choose to come out toā¦many health care providers are still uninformed about aromanticism and what it truly means to be aromantic.ā - Rebecca Ashley.Ā ā[B]eing autistic fully intersects with my aromantic identity but that does not make my aromanticism less real or valid.ā - Ghost. End ID.]
Aro flag froggy
Stickers and other stuff available on my Redbubble
Aromantic Flag + Poisonous Plants
Philodendron, Dumb Cane, Gympie (aka Suicide Plant) | Angel's Trumpet, Daffofil, Jimson Weed | Elderberries, Black Hyacinths, Deadly Nightshade
Aro Head Canons for ASAW
Since I haven't had the time/energy to do something big for Aro-Spec Awareness Week like I would like to, I thought I'd at least do a little something and talk about some Aro-Spec Head Canons that I enjoy. So let's get started!
Lt. Commander Data and Geordi La Forge (Star Trek: The Next Generation) - Data and Geordi have always been two of my favorite characters from TNG. They both have such likeable personalities and a lot of great moments/episodes. Data also is as close to a canonically aromantic character as you could get from the 80s/90s I feel like? He and Geordi are, prominently, best friends. Data states that the desire for companionship is not one of the Human Things he finds confusing. But the only time Data attempts romance it's obvious he doesn't get it, far more than he doesn't get other Typical Human Things, and the end conclusion is him deciding to just Not Do romance because there is no 'real him' he can give to a romantic relationship specifically. And that never changes! Not even when he gets a Human Emotion Chip! So even he's not quite canonically aro, I feel like he also slightly is. xD He's also just a major fave, so I enjoy him being aro-coded A Lot.
As for Geordi, there's not really any canon 'evidence' as such other than 'I like him a lot and his main relationships with the crew are all platonic'. He has a few one-shot romances, but they're all so intensely awkward. In part because one-shot romances tend to be awkward and I think the writers sometimes didn't know what to do with Geordi in episodes centered on him. But I enjoy thinking it's partly because he just doesn't realize he's alloaro. xD Maybe gray-aro, I'm not sure. But aro-spec in some kind of way.
Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens) - These two notoriously aren't canonically anything. And it's probably best it stay that way. xD But the first time I watched the show (knowing very little about the book other than the fact it existed, and knowing a similar amount about the fandom), I was pleasantly surprised by how much these two resonated with me, both individually and as a pair.
Nothing they do is inherently romantic, and aside from the whole 'our superiors would kill us if they find out about us being friends' bit, a lot of what they do together seems like the kind of thing I really enjoy in close relationships. They go out to eat, they spend long hours discussing the arts and various other things, they go on walks/feed ducks, and they're always excited to see each other (sans the whole 'this could get us killed' anxiety stuff again lol). And that's it! Their happy ending as far as we see is them just being able to do those things freely and without guilt or fear anymore, it's not really implied anywhere they want 'more' from the relationship, just to be able to experience more of it, and safely/without having to come up with excuses to meet.
And then just individually, neither of them really show interest in specifically romance either. And also I like them both and just enjoy the thought of them both being aroace, it's nice to be able to connect with characters you like a lot. X)
Legolas, Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin (The Lord of the Rings) - Look, The Lord of the Rings, in particular the book, just has aro vibes. xD None of these characters have a love interest other than Sam having a very minor one (I call grey-aro) that isn't emphasized anywhere near the way he friendship with Frodo is. It's a friendship-heavy book in general, and only one of the end couples actually got screentime or development (Eowyn and Faramir were also written in a way that they're one of a small group of romantic pairings I actually quite like?) compared to all the Fellowship friendships getting heavily centered.
I don't even know where on the aro spectrum to put all of these fellas, but I feel like they have a lot of potential to cover a number of bases? (Gandalf didn't have a romance either actually, I'm claiming him too. Why not. xD) Merry randomly strikes me as aroflux for no particular reason. Pippin I could see as frayromantic? I'd have to think more on the specifics for the others, but case in point: LotR is a great book/film series and most of the characters can be read as arospec in some kind of way so I'm just gonna go ahead and do that. xD
(Gimli is especially a childhood favorite though, so. Him and Legolas get top tier from me lol)
Sherlock Holmes (Various iterations? But especially ACD and Granada?) - Holmes just is a big mood in general, but also an aro mood. xD And while being aro on its own isn't about being reclusive or anti-social or constantly raising your brow at how others do relationships, these are things I associate with my own experience of aromanticism for just me, and I relate to some of that in Holmes as well, which makes the headcanon extra appealing. He is also an eccentric and I enjoy that a lot because he just so much isn't trying to be 'normal', he just does his detective thing and I love it.
Also, while I'm not as dead set on it. I do like Watson as aro-spec too! He did seem to genuinely find Mary attractive, but marriage clearly didn't suit him (and I wonder if he didn't do it in part because he did try to seem 'normal' even though he's also frankly weird), since he ultimately returned to just living with Holmes and was happy with it.
James (Team Rocket/Pokemon) - This is a head canon that both stems from 'James is a long time favorite of mine so I want him to be aro Just Because' and 'he actually has very strong romance-repulsed vibes in canon'. His backstory involves him running away from home to escape an (admittedly toxic) arranged marriage, every time a one-shot character expresses romantic interest in him he's horrified (unless there's some kind of mystical thing involved), and he was completely appalled at the suggestion he and Jesse could be together romantically despite them unambiguously being best friends and/or partners for life (he said he'd rather DIE, which yes was for comedy/exaggeration, but he so consistently has this kind of reaction to romance aimed at him).
Elsa (Frozen) - There's been plenty of discussion on this one before, but just. Elsa has the biggest aro moods in both films (she's also genuinely content being a bit more solitary at the end of the second one, staying in close contact with her family but living alone/single, which is pretty great). She's also just very relatable in general, which adds to the head canon appeal. And her being aro while Anna is super into romance, the possibilities of them learning to navigate that together? Big fan.
Moana (Moana) - This is another case of 'there wasn't a romantic interest and I adore the character, so to the aro bin you GO'. xD Her whole 'I am Moana' song being her Big Moment is powerful in general, but I really like how the movie centers on her individual growth, and how she has this big moment while she's alone and That's Okay.
Noe (Vanitas no Carte) - I know Noe is, in general, oblivious. But he's just SO oblivious to the most overt crushes on him (and there are more than one), doesn't get what 'love' is (which just, makes me think of all the conversations trying to define romance in the aro community that are very thought provoking but don't really get anywhere as far as a 'proper answer' goes xD), and just does not seem romantically interested in anyone. I also just like him a lot lol.
Sonic, Blaze, and Rouge (Sonic the Hedgehog) - Sonic is just never truly interested in romance, and even when he 'is', it doesn't feel like very...allo romance on his end? And that only happened one or twice anyways. Mostly, he's annoyed or repulsed or exasperated with Amy's crush on him and doesn't seem interested in others. And he's always described as a 'free spirit', which doesn't mean anything technically, but the way it's done here has prominent 'single for life' vibes, and he's very happy with his free spirit life style!
Blaze I fully admit the hc is just 'she's cool and doesn't have a canon love interest' lol. Because she is cool and should really be in the games more, and she doesn't have a canon love interest, so why the heck not?
Rouge I just enjoy the the thought of her being aro. She flirts and stuff, but sometimes just as a 'tactic', and sometimes just I think for fun, but that doesn't necessarily mean she has real crushes or wants a romantic relationship. Another case of 'hey why not, it's fun!'
Bow and Glimmer (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) - I am like 98% sure the writers were trying to make these two an end game couple. But they gave such IMMENSELY POWERFUL platonic vibes from the very beginning, and kept it that way the whole show as far as I'm concerned, so I read them as platonic all the way to the end. And I loved that about them! Both are such fun and cool characters in their own respect, and they got to have an epic friendship that was given time and weight! Also I am so so into platonic m/f epic duos. They feel so rare, and they make my brain so happy. xD

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
stop telling arospecs there are "other kinds of love! not everything is romantic there's platonic love too!" yes there is but not everyone experiences platonic love. not everyone experiences familial love. not everyone experiences love. it shouldn't be a prerequisite to our validity. we have heard it a hundred times before and we shouldn't have to explain to everyone, including other arospecs, that some of us are loveless.
Arospec Ask Game
To help get #aromantic trending I've come up with an ask game. Don't forget to tag you answers with #aromantic!
What's your favorite part of being arospec?
What's your least favorite part of being arospec?
Favorite color?
Favorite color from the aromantic pride flag?
Favorite pride flag, arospec or not,m
Favorite arospec blogger?
Ever been to a pride event?
Aro culture is....?
When did you realize you were arospec?
Have you come out to anyone? If so, who?
What do you think the biggest misconception is surrounding aromanticism?
What's your advice to someone questioning they are arospec?
Do you know other arospec people? (Online or off)
If you could change the aro flag, would you and why?
What's a movie that you get aro vibes from?
What's a song that you get aro vibes from?
What's a book that you get aro vibes from?
Favorite arospec meme?
Frogs, turtles, or kangaroos?
Question you wish people would stop asking when they find out you're arospec?