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what's bofa

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

you’re allowed 2 minutes of sadness then you gotta keep it gangsta

i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane 'n tail and sprain my pussy

i love sending people my totaled car as a reaction image it’s so funny

today my therapist wanted to know my favorite hobbies and we only made it thru 2 before she asked about autism

no no i didn’t say he sucks BECAUSE he’s bisexual. i just said he sucks AND also happens to be bisexual

you can kill twinks eaesily with fire damage

googled my symptoms and turns out I have to have a pretty girl kiss me

wow this pizza is great it's so good it's unreal *remembers the unreal engine is dogshit* I mean uh it's Source how good this pizza is

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information