Drifter

Greg reminds me of the guy from The Black Phone.

I didn’t get to marry T. He waited until the last minute to absolutely humiliate me. And then he left my back gate open so my senior dog would get out in hopes that he would get hit by a car. So my heart is absolutely shattered. But not for me. My dog is fine and a weight is lifted from my shoulders. But Gage thought he was getting a dad. And sadly he isn’t.

I had the worst dream ever. I was in some kind of class but it was raining and we were waiting outside of this church from my childhood and my bestfriend showed up and was pacing outside of the church really angry. Then she went in and I saw she said a had him. So I went to go call someone to tell them about it and she popped up out of nowhere so I had to end the call abruptly. She was clearly upset about something so I played it cool and tried to see what was going on. But she wouldn’t give me any details and I was so afraid she would shoot me. She told me to follow her and that we needed to go get a dog that we knew. I was pretending to be supportive and kept trying to get information from her but she wouldn’t tell me anything. So we get to the yard with the dog and it’s dark out. She’s muttering about having just fixed the fence for the people and how they are assholes and she’s trying to get the dog out. But someone was outside talking and noticed us. So they told us not to move and that they were calling the cops. I thought she was going to shoot them so I start crying and beg them just to leave us alone. Then she acts like she’s going to shoot me so they’ll leave us alone so I’m about to throw up. Well another person comes out of nowhere and grabs my wrists and yells to the other person that he’s got one of us. And I just start panicking even more because now I really think she’s going to shoot someone. She starts screaming at the guy holding my wrists and tells him to let me go. She says that she loves me and then a cop shows up from the other side of the fence. And then she shoots him right in the throat and blood splatters on everyone and it sounds like he’s trying to scream and then I’m screaming and pass out. But that’s when I woke up. And now I’m traumatized.

Two years ago today was the scariest and most heart breaking days of my life. And tomorrow I’m getting married to someone I fell in love with in middle school. Life is insane I can’t believe I’ve made it to this point. We are buying a lot in the small town he grew up in. And will hopefully have a baby within the next year.

Forever with you will never be long enough. After this life I’ll find you in the next one.

I’ve never been so in love in my life. 14 years I’ve waited for this. I’ve never been so sure about something .

We’re still talking. Ugh he’s so nice to me and it doesn’t make me want to puke. Just marry me already 😭

But like what if we did just fall in love and it was truly just a stars aligning meant to be kind of thing. It never will be but like if it was my god would that just be a giant win. But it won’t.

I feel like I’ve just stepped back in time. Like it hasn’t been 11 years. It feels like we just got back from summer break and you’ll meet me in the hallway at lunch. You’re just so overwhelming my brain just shuts off and it’s just you. I can’t even look at you it’s too much. And here you are back again. The first person I ever fell so hard for. And it was okay that you didn’t fall for me too, I was just so happy with being your friend. Just spending any amount of time talking to you was enough for me. This isn’t some grand love story. Everything leading up to you messaging me was just a coincidence. But the question remains why did you message me? It’s been so long. Why now? What even made you think of me? Even if it’s because you’re in some kind of fight with your girlfriend why me? You have other friends. I don’t think we will ever ride off into the sunset but my brain took me back to a place where I thought we would. You never took anything from me. And that will always stick with me, so please do not take something from me now.

Well he made the comment that his girlfriend is a terrible person so now I feel icky. I didn’t push the subject any further.