Arima Sruff

probably having a four year rest again till the next season 

headers owari no seraph

I’m a bad person.

In my opinion: that’s the most cruel thing Sangwoo has ever said and done. 

Yoon Bum may be the main character but Sangwoo is the protagonist of his own story. He only wants to make Bum a part of his own life, not to incorporate himself in Bum’s.

For Sangwoo a life outside his does not exist. He is incapable of seeing or caring about anything that doesn’t concern him and he is unable to be happy from someone else being happy. Everything is connected to him and his own enjoyment. He is incapable of caring for someone else’s.

These two people aren’t in a conventional relationship, they aren’t “murder husbands”, or boyfriends, they aren’t even in love with each other.

This is the story of a twisted dependency and helplessness and I can’t bear it when people refuse to see this.

Sangwoo will never become your cute villain bad boy who is actually a teddy bear on the inside.

I see a lot of people either disappointed over Sangwoo’s reaction or bemused because they expected it. I think there’s more to it. When I read the chapter, I noticed a few important things that I would like to point out. First, it’s important to remind everyone that Sangwoo is not a normal person. His way of dealing with trauma is to confront it, and exterminate the problem at its core. Sangwoo does not like feeling vulnerable. It diminishes his masculinity. It reminds him too much of his past, and of his mother who–like Bum–seemed to be the type of person who was easily taken advantage of. Frankly, weakness and indecisiveness just piss him off.

This brings me to my next few points: When Bum spoke of his trauma, it reminded Sangwoo too much of his mother. 

Now, please note. We don’t know how Sangwoo’s parents perished. Some assume he killed them both, but that doesn’t make sense. Personally, with how Sangwoo speaks of mother with fondness, even I find it hard to believe that Sangwoo killed his own mother. (My theory is Sangwoo’s dad killed her during a domestic abuse episode and in turn, Sangwoo killed his dad.) If you remember, there was that one scene way back when where it depicted “Sangwoo’s” hands around his mother’s neck, but I don’t think those were his hands. Sangwoo was hallucinating. 

That’s not from his point of view. It’s from his Dad’s point of view. And do you see that smile. Do you see how his mother isn’t fighting back? That’s stayed with him forever. His mother just taking it isn’t something that he’s forgotten. And what does Bum do? He takes it, just like his mother. He doesn’t stab his abuser, like Sangwoo suggests. He doesn’t do anything, because he’s afraid. So Sangwoo, whether consciously or not, starts drawing parallels: Bum (My Mom) is a weak person, who allowed his Uncle (My Father) to abuse him (her). It’s history repeating itself and Sangwoo fucking hates it. So when Sangwoo reacts hostilely to Bum’s story, it’s not that he’s incapable of emotion or that he doesn’t “get” that Bum’s been raped. Quite the opposite. He’s throwing a tantrum. He’s upset Bum was assaulted. In some fucked up way, he’s started to like Bum’s presence. I wouldn’t say “cherish”, because I’m not sure Sangwoo is capable of that, but he cares about Bum in a way that’s like his mother but not quite. (I think more so like a pet then a partner.) He knows what happened to Bum and what it all means, but he’s unable to act sympathetically, because he just wished that Bum (unlike his mother) could have fought back. Now let me say, this isn’t an attempt to justify Sangwoo’s reaction. I’m a victim of sexual assault. I know, more than anyone, how fear can paralyze you into submission. I sympathize with Bum. I feel horrible for him. But Sangwoo isn’t, again, a normal person. He’s a sociopath. So Sangwoo doesn’t see that. He just sees two things: Bum didn’t try. Bum disappoints me. And it infuriates Sangwoo, because in a way, Bum’s uncle wins. Just like Sangwoo’s father won when he abused his mother. 

Sangwoo is hurt. Most importantly, Sangwoo’s selfish. His emotions are the only thing that matter to him. Bum’s feelings mean nothing. Last point: