Bowow

oh mine god, i accidentally hath sent thou a picture of mine cock and balls...prithee delete it!! 'Lest...thou desire to look? haha I jest, delete it...should thee crave... haha nay, banish it...'lest?

Tag yourself I’m snart

this is the opposite of a mistake.

I’m dirty Dan

No, I’M dirty Dan

Object class: *wipes away single tear* Neutralised

The party is all half human  half other races looking for their shared human parent.

Change your url op

it’s like we got vine back for a brief moment

I’m not sure what would be better; listing Sydnee as ‘Dr. Sydnee Mcelroy’ so non-fans understand that Justin is bothering a real life doctor, or just leaving her as ‘Sydnee’ so it looks like Justin is asking his wife this insane question like he’s some kind of toddler bugging his mom

I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh...hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????

her sister has the exact same face and body but she’s got huge badonkadonks. I mean huge whooperproperdrs.

Just say boobs you dumbfuck asshole

i mean huge wampeedamberfuckalongas

you guys really liked unkiss huh

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED

Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably.

thanks edith

straight people ARE stinky

wig!

there were 8 years between 2010 and 2018 where we didn’t exist but were just powering up our heterophobia gages