Stay tuned next for a different me.

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

i swear, "something's wrong with the boy - primus, you fool, what have you done??" gets funnier every week. yeah, primus, what have you done, with this once in a lifetime opportunity? well first off you failed to keep track of the kid, because you told him to his face you didn't care what he did with his life as long as you didn't have to hear about it. second, you didn't actually test that the ritual could be done from a distance, you just assumed, which even if you were right, is extremely poor scientific practice to suddenly add in other variables when experimenting on your, and i cannot stress this enough, only viable subject! you also threw in the complete demolishing of two other noble houses at the same time, because you were planning to destroy them anyway, no harm in splitting our forces because surely the experiment will work out and then it won't be a problem!

i know you were under some amount of time pressure but given that your house hasn't imploded yet in the week since you failed the ritual that's time enough to check your working

Here's how that works:

say you get a text from your internet provider, let's say it's Comcast (whom i hate). So you have this text that says it's from Comcast about your bill with a contact number and a clickable link -- could be real, could be a scam.

Don't touch anything about this text. Open a web browser and look up the customer service number for Comcast. Or get the number from the bill they send you. However you do it, get the contact info for Comcast from a trusted source, like an official phone directory or the Comcast website itself.

Get in touch with them using that information.

So. Let's run the example both ways it could go.

If it IS a scam: you reach out to Comcast and tell them you were contacted about a problem with your bill, they look you up in their customer database, and they tell you there is no problem with your bill.

If it's NOT a scam, you do the same thing, they look you up, and they explain the problem. In this case, neither Comcast nor the employees involved give a single shit whether or not you clicked the link in the text vs. going through their official website.

This works the same for the your bank, the IRS, Amazon, political causes, charities, everything.

If it's not scam they'll be like sure, here's the reference number. Then you follow the instructions above, call the separate number you find yourself on a reputable website and give that person the reference number. And they'll help you resolve the issue.

“Can I use my six that I rolled on portent for her last death saving throw?”

… That is the most stone cold fucking move I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life. Holy shit. Like.

Okay. Murray’s magic. Divination. Dwarven divination. Mathematics. The warp and weft of the universe. Murray taps into the raw mathematics of the universe. And she just, in this one moment, seeing an enemy, an old woman, lying on the floor bleeding, she taps into that raw, silent, immense force, and uses it to goddamn cold equation this bitch.

Like that wasn’t … That wasn’t fire and brimstone, divine wrath, that wasn’t active rage, that was stone cold. That was the raw, impassive, uncaring face of the universe, given the tiniest little twist, flicking down the tiniest sliver of entropy, to simply end someone. As she lies on the floor bleeding. ‘Let this be one of the universes where she dies’. It’s so cold.

And. Murray has given life before now. Or restored it, a semblance of it. Murray has used that same stone cold magic before, that vast mathematics, to bring Occtis back from death. A thing not seen since the gods themselves. This vast force, this immense thing she taps into. Life and death. Warp and weft. Fate. The things she fucking does, holy shit. A nat 20 portent to enact a titanic magic not seen since the gods. And a tiny roll, a middling six, used to silently erase someone.

It's so incredible. That was such a galaxy brain move by Marisha, and such an ice cold one as well.

(It’s such a Patia sort of move, actually. What is it about wizards bringing out Marisha’s vicious streak?)

And! And then! On the other side of it.

“You go to replace her death saving throw … to discover she’s not making them.”

Yanessa Halovar. The fucking con woman herself, this code-switching, false faith, mafia boss bitch. She dodged the fucking bullet. The raw force of the universe was bent down to end her life, and she dodged the bullet. Without even noticing. Because Yanessa fucking Halovar wasn’t even playing the same game.

THIS is what illusion is for! Trickery. This is what it’s for. Because the deadliest bullet in the goddamn world doesn’t do jack shit if you’re not where it hits. Illusion, sleight of hand, trickery. All the power in the world won’t matter a damn if it never fucking hits you. Murray Mag’nesson used the coldest trick in the universe, some of the most powerful magic in the universe, bent the raw force of truth down to end her life, and Yanessa did not notice, because that truth shot straight through her perfectly mundane lie and bounced off the far side without hitting anything in between.

Phenomenal cosmic power: 0. Good old fashioned lying: 10,000.

This was such a titanic fucking moment. It was so cool. And it’s completely tiny, completely silent, and no one will ever know. No one. Except Murray herself. Like.

It was such a cold use of power. Such a silent, invisible, vicious way of dealing with someone. It was so titanic, and so tiny, and so impressive. And Yanessa foiled it without even noticing by just not being what her attacker thought she was.

The Tachonis out here slinging power around and murdering entire goddamn houses and earning themselves every enemy on the planet, and here’s Yanessa Halovar, with just a little bit of patience, and a little bit of lying, and the goddamn angel she somehow caged, and she’s flying golden. She’s making an open mockery of everything Murray’s done. Murray’s own magic, the same magic that just failed to kill her. She’s making such a mockery of it. Apeing that first miracle, that true wonder that Murray (and Bolaire) performed. A false resurrection, silently and unwittingly defying the same wizard that performed the first true one, and it’s winning her all the power and faith she needs.

Oh, it’s fantastic. It’s evil and vicious and I love it.

But. But. The thing of it is. That one little lie beat all the power of truth, yes. Tanked phenomenal cosmic power without so much as ruffling her hair, yes. But Murray knows. Murray knows. Alone of everyone in that room. In the world. Murray alone, because of what she tried to do, because of what she is, a divination wizard, saw through Yanessa’s lie. In a way that no one else could. And that could be very problematic for Yanessa down the line.

Because a lie can save your life, but a little truth, levered correctly, goes a long way too.

Truth vs lies. Divination vs illusion. Murray Mag’nesson vs Yanessa Halovar. Con woman to con woman, both scraped up out of the gutter. Who needs fucking gods, huh? A little bit of grit, a little bit of magic, and a little bit of lying, will do all the same jobs. Heh.

However

The fact that there is 1) apparently a birth order if Termina is ‘big sis’ and 2) the fact that they may have some pre-programmed fondness given that both Bolaire and Termina seem to genuinely think of the other as a sibling despite only being together for 1 day whilst pre-occupied with a god-killing ritual

I can’t shake the idea that Bolaire is the baby of the group. And I kind of want another of his siblings (either Termina if we figure out wtf is going on with her or one we haven’t met yet) to just see him and go ‘Little Brother :D!!!’

Like, I can picture the Torn Banner crew in some spot between battlefields, trying to dodge Sundered House forces, get 99% made and bracing for a fight, an arrest, something that fucks the whole team—only for a kid probably still a year and change away from puberty to stroll up in full, “Evening, officers, can we help you?” :)

Ten minutes later he’s got them thinking they’re talking to the authorities’ biggest little fan, he wants to be a Revolutionary Guard when he grows up, wow, do they all get swords like that that’s so coool :o

Fifteen minutes later he has an autograph from one and a sandwich from another, can’t make rank if you don’t put on some weight, kid, stay safe, tell your chaperones to just watch the noise, alright, ha ha. And off they go

Azune, 12 going on 13: Okay, we’re good :3

Torn Banner: …