Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

”match my freak” match my melancholy. be nostalgic about a past you weren’t even that happy in. find something to be haunted about throughout every second of your day

what if after job interview you catch a glimpse of the person’s notepad & see they wrote “things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl”

"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

james flint's most endearing trait is that he understands women to be inherently three-dimensional, complex and deserving of respect (especially for the positions of authority they occupy). in contrast, he is barely convinced that most men have brains.

if you’re not paying attention to trees and how they sway in the wind then what are you even doing