We're all fine here now

i had to stew on this one bc i think my initial instinct is to make ilya a scummy line cook but its not correct. its not right. just bc its hot doesnt make it right

ilya is actually a bartender who then works his way up to foh manager and then gm and shane is a cook who works his way up to sous chef and then exec chef who did everything "the right way" aka he actually attended culinary school and takes the job very seriously and is always annoyed by the fact that ilya doesnt seem to take his job as seriously (even tho ilya does he just thinks its funny to pretend not to bc it pisses shane off)

always sniping at each other like "hollander what is for family meal? youre going to remember to feed us this time yes?" even tho shane has never forgotten family meal

shane is always mad at ilya for sending rush tickets that say "sorry ;)"

shane refuses his shift drink every night bc he doesnt want to spend time around ilya with his guard down any longer than he has to

ilya keeps ordering things that are 86'd that he knows are 86'd

ilya refuses to talk to shane while hes holding a knife and no matter what hes doing shane is required to put his knife down before ilya answers him

ilya is always suggesting extremely obscure russian dishes for seasonal menus (they work at a french wine bar)

ilya sends a long ticket back to the kitchen at 12:59am just before the kitchen closes and it says "just kidding!!!" over and over again

of course under all this there is deep respect and fondness but both of them would rather die than break kayfabe

✨ CHEMISTRY ✨

(sources and more quotes below)

This place freaks me out. Okay, good luck!

photo of him and marly in g-strings

multiple speedometer pictures, all while driving and all over the speed limit

club selfies with svetlana and like every fifth one you can see that they definitely just did key bumps

video of him downing a big mac in like 35 seconds while the raiders call him disgusting in the background

a million sweaty gym selfies

200+ selfies of him with the stanley cup in various states of drunkenness and undress

dick pic accidentally posted to his story. it is the only story of his he’s deleted. followed by a black screen that say “whoops 😜 no peaking 😈”

video of him and svetlana doing ossetra caviar bumps