i

If opinions matters at all (when spiritually it just makes not much sense anyway, in the unknown), the one I have about myself should carry more weight than the ones others have about me should it not?

Because why should someone else's opinion on how things should be or I should be, be more important than mine about me? Even if it involves others. And their manipulative expression of anger. Instead of direct communication. But passive aggression. Since the former requires a level of self love that can expand out to include the self in all beings. And the latter is a helpless mode from a tendency to take easy offence.

My mirror is perhaps that when I get too involved. There's a dishonesty in that that translates to the disconnect for I actually do not give a fuck about everything. My practice is that too. And really like how I should be seeing how I am already what I want rather than in need of it, I should be addressing if I like people rather than if they like me.

And again, I observe the mirror and the dishonesty for I actually do not like the person in question. Or more accurately, do not particularly want this vibration around mine. The universe responds to my deep truth.

I shall simply trust this non-linear, illogical, all-seeing movements of the higher and end these thoughts here. I'm not interested in this reality that I'm not understood, liked and appreciated, and I cannot control that. I'd rather put my energy on something else.

I'm grateful for the main issue has been resolved and in the highest possible way. This direction of thought expands into the reality I'm interested to create, one where my efforts have a seamlessness that is easy to follow. And the highest place I can bring this cohesive reality to is how it means this endeavour is blessed. I continue to remain in this highest place of guidance for my personal intentions have definitely come to pass. In summary I feel good for again like I said, look from my own opinion and see my own truth - it's not about what other people want but what I wanted and that's all coming together fabulously. Like a rockstar.

If I am afraid of what might befall me losing the approval of your good opinion, I will continue to live in a way that is catered to the world rather than prioritise what I truly feel in this moment in time. Therefore, I will never be able to claim the kind of life that deep down I know is my birthright.

You cannot lure me with gold or lay me with guilt because my true nature has its own voice that will not be smothered. At the same time I do not practise the discourtesy of showing displeasure but move forward without criticism always. It's the elevation of I-do-not-know and bowing down to everything as God knows best.

Like how personally speaking I only got today off because of the movements that transpired and I really needed it after all while it did not affect my first day of proper work. It shows to me that the higher is blessing my journey with this new job. And perhaps it is just the indication not to take up Calls during this period so I can work on music dedicatedly meanwhile.

Whatever the case, I shall not use my mind to figure out in the logical, mathematical fashion but simply trust that I'm being moved without thinking, planning etc. It is the best way to live for I can feel the power of connecting to the entire universe bringing me to potentialities that the rational mind finds impossible.

It is such a dance in the process of spirit to figure out how to be true for on one hand presenting yourself and being your best self can be seen as unavoidably showing off as well as showcasing an artificial projection of who you are. But all natural instincts also incline towards doing your best because doing things half-heartedly does not inherently feel right as well so the dilemma then is about how we are to live.

With the desire to impress others dissolved, the need to be approved of seen through and a sense of thorough completion permeating deeper and deeper into presence, this quandary will settle itself out. Self-love and self-acceptance are not just healing in personal transformation but have an expansive quality that aligns you with the whole of existence. They help you to realise that there is no separate entity to get validation from but at the end of the day, you are the same as that imagined Other. The Other that somehow became a judge of great importance with the ability to grant worthiness to other people. More and more other. Self-love and self-acceptance will actually help you to stop doing exactly that - separating and judging everything and yourself.

And really see that you do not need to be perfect.

Because this 'perfect' is a human concept. Divine perfection manifests itself only when we admit we do not know anything at all hence relinquishing judgement and trusting the higher plan. At the same time, lets relinquish everything altogether and just allow spirit to express what it will through you. Take no credit for any charm, talent or beauty and whatever else we might claim as our own to elevate egos but attribute it all to the muses, the universe, the collective consciousness, where we are blessed to each receive certain insight and an articulation that becomes our unique voice and contribution back to our tribe. Adding diversity and colour to a life lived without always needing so much mental logic to make sense of things but with heart.

Our highest job is then to carry the message we exclusively understand, the best we can, and be the vessel to live out that art and beauty without over-identifying or doubting. See nothing but that symmetry and love for yourself.

And carry yourself with nothing but grace.

The thing that matters most to me whenever I engage myself with any piece of art or perhaps anything at all, is what it is trying to say to me on the deepest level. How can the message benefit my soul. And I found myself completely enthralled with this series of the zombie horror franchise which is more than the usual fun watch this genre is known for. This is an epic with a heroic premise that at times felt superhuman in the tenacity needed to conquer all odds in a world falling apart. And best of all, the characters persevered in every sense of the word, standing firm against the undead and injustice with honour, courage, strength and skill.

I absolutely loved the fight scenes. Besides the fact that the strategies employed by the righteous were beautiful to watch in the sheer brilliance of it while the ruthlessness of the antagonists felt so insanely, morally wrong, the choreography felt authentic yet emotionally and visually captivating, and seriously even the makeup done was just simply to another level. The gore did not even seem to exist with the intention to shock but just to be honest, present, there. I read one reviewer's comment to basically leave it to the South Koreans to make a zombie series. I would agree with this hands down. This show had such topnotch scriptwriting that nothing felt cheesy for a genre usually placed in a modern to futuristic setting, to be set in the feudal period of ancient Korea. Japan had just left after invading Korea for a few years which was a real historical event woven into the fictional storyline, bringing an ingenious twist, putting us right in the middle of one of the legendary wars and after all, the Orient was famous for such. Like the historical novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms, one of the four great classical novels of Chinese literature, each battle displayed mind-blowing tactics worthy to be noted in an art of war handbook. It is also appreciated that the writers want that connection made for us, giving a nod to our timeline and our world. 

Well, it got me interested in the history of it and I read into that Joseon Confucian dynasty period. At that moment in time, Japan was going for both China as well as Korea and they did attack Korea again a second time so maybe the big baddie the show wants to write in for the next season might actually be Japan, not China. But I've no idea, I trust the writers to bring it all terrifically around though because the turns and intensities they have envisioned in both seasons have been truly the best in the genre. And they did their take on everything that has been offered up in the zombie game so far all tie in flawlessly and believably in context, perhaps even better so comparably, just because this story made you so much a part of the support team figuring things out with as much information as they have to handle the situation - like when the zombies came out in daylight during winter (winter is coming too here in Joseon, Korea), after they were tired out from preparing to meet them the whole agonising night. We too felt drained and wanted our team to persevere on most empathetically. And use especially our/their wit to beat the cold-hearted biggest monster that was Cho Hak-ju.

I have many questions too though. Why did the King marry the very young Cho Queen? He spoke about himself pretty negatively during the one flashback we had where he had told a younger crown prince to show them he is different and to stay alive etc. He also mentioned that so many of his loved ones have died (been killed?). I'm guessing it must have been the work of councilor Cho since he has shown himself to be excessive and tyrannical to no end. Perhaps they will expand upon this in season 3. The royal house of Lee was also weak because their descendants were too cultured and noble to crave power. But in the end, we were being schooled too - that it was only about doing what is right for the greater and doing your best. Truly, the development of the characters too have the potential to touch attentive hearts, like the transformation of the cowardly nobleman, the last real descendent of Cho. Having traveled with him for awhile, I am pretty sure the crown prince actually waited to enter the execution grounds because he was certain this Cho wouldn't be able to make the final command to massacre entire clans off like this. He did leave the people to the mercy of the zombies in season 1 but he was not comfortable with it then and was pretty much duped into it by a manipulative councilor. Generally, we the audience know as well that he is a good man just not a brave one. By the end of the show though he was fighting with full strength and so inspired by the right way to be that he became a better and better person. 7 years later, he is now a wonderful councilor and "uncle" to his "nephew" the boy king.

"Surrender, let Silence have you. Surrender to the source, Surrender to awareness, this is the only place of protection. Surrender your heart and you will know all. Surrender to Consciousness and Bliss. Surrender means to surrender your bondage and to simply be Freedom. Surrender is the ego bowing down to its Source. No more demands or commands, but putting all in the hands of Source. Submit to Consciousness and Bliss and you will be happy. Surrender the addiction to your senses. You don't need to stop them, but you need to have perfect control over them. Ego is a poor driver of these five horses, but the Atman charioteer will not make a mistake. Surrender the reigns of your senses to the Atman. As the river surrenders to the ocean, surrender yourself to the Self, the Source. And if you find you are still swimming on the surface of the ocean: stop swimming and you will sink into the depths of Love." - Papaji

Lower vibes can get ya

Open your eyes a little wider

See it's truly fire

Only engage with the higher

Never compromise the I AM

Eagles eyes hawks down on ya

Observation places attention on the unwanted

Interest fuels its monopoly

Watch the story

The small and the sneaky

the small and the sneaky

_________________________________________

It's said that when Buddha left his father's palace he met a man who asked him why he would leave all the riches, fame and glory behind. He responded that he saw nothing but fire.

He saw what the worldly could not see. That everything the palace represented was transient, an illusion created by the mind in an all-consuming alternate existence. Alternate not as in that it is another state equal but because it is only possible to be in one or the other. As the truth has neither projection nor perspective. It is a place utterly needless to define, a completion and bliss in sheer beingness. He, who grew up completely isolated from the realities of life outside affluence, could see through the garbage of external projection inside out.

It doesn't matter what sort of projection it is really. It could be on any level of any created perspective. They all belong to a hypnotic rhythm orchestrated by the mind. And as long as the mind and its judgment is in play, the Flow can never play itself out. This Flow that moves without mind, a natural flux that recognises its reign over the entire kingdom that exists in its subjective actuality. It's exactly how with perfect faith Christ can raise the dead without blinking, in a single second. It's the acknowledgement that this entire world is ours and we do take full responsibility for it.

There's a deeper movement going on always and our spirit is at one with it. We planned it all and if we can find the realisation of total connection with it, something miraculous begins to bloom in our heart of hearts, blossoming in its profound simplicity. And here we are speaking about the subtlest, most intrinsic process of all that is known and unknown.

I AM. And that is all. No more, no less.

The whole of our living subsistence is to artlessly remember who we truly are. And to live freely as such without the interference of the mind's incessant noise. Why should the ambitions of that chatter be above the perfection of the soul? How can it be that we require more to be happy? Why is life a constant striving? We live in the mind and it's the road to crazy. We live in the heart and we are free to move as we flow. Who decides what's correct and what's wrong? Who determines the nature of what we are meant to do? Why can't we trust our natural movement to just go where we mean to go and to just express what we are inspired to express? Without incessant reasonings and judgment upon judgment to build concepts up one upon the other.

It's really not a difficult thing to understand. It's the plainest of things. But we are used to complicated. We are conditioned to uncomfortable. And we are taught to feel uneasy if we are too chill. But a new wave of seeing is coming in our consciousness, and yet it's nothing new. It will always feel like something we've known all along. And nothing happening externally can deny us this.

Even in a cell we are free.

Even if we are stuck, we are really not.

We are exactly where we are meant to be.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

- Frank Herbert, Dune

We recite this litany in taking the journey through the fires of fear, so practiced at seeing it through to the end that it itself becomes the meditation. The worst always seem so frail when seen in its very nakedness. Its power vanishes by the strength to observe it through.

I can take intensity. Watch the creation of a dark reality, follow it to the end and let it dissolve to nothing. For if presence is the one watching, presence sees the illusion of it all. There are a million realities and as long as they can be observed, they are outside of our true nature. They are simply a part of phenomenon, designed to draw us in.

We are that which watches the fear. That which sees the reality the identification to it creates. That which recognises the hypnotic rhythm that causes the continuation of this manifestation. That which acknowledges the grand role we play in the decision of the world we see. For we live exclusively in our own subjective reality.

Every yearning is towards liberation.

Liberation from hurt. Liberation from judgment. 

Liberation from story.

And every liberation brings us closer in alignment to who we truly are.

There was no reason at all for our own shackling of ourselves. It was just how far we heard the call to fly that created the frenzy around us, the overthinking, the incredulity.

The Curse.

So we inherited a persona, born of this damning, from a world so trapped it tightened ropes on everything around it such that the lightness of being, the freedom of naturalness became so wrong. 

We inherited a persona, so alien from our truth because of love. We took on fears that were not ours and a whole existence of a bondage and a perspective that has always been startlingly foreign to us because of a tremendous sense of duty to incorporate it somehow into our being, to keep the closeness and empathy that love insisted we should and we could. And thus formulated a great unconscious prejudiced view upon a reality that would have been seen with eyes cleaned of story and judgment and hurt. A reality where nothing is going on and had all the potentiality in the world for us to create but became one imagined and ensnared where heroes were needed and we were always victimised. 

And so we never experienced purity progressing in our very own empty movement of truth. It was always such a fight to prove that our way is simply good enough. And it is not just that that trusting, restful state of self-acceptance was never encouraged and understood. But that we were intentionally being held back and sabotaged by the seemingly safe little room our loved ones needed so desperately for us to join them in. An impairment from such deliberate disrespect to our being so as to condemn us to dance a horrible little dance within ourselves which kept us binded forever in one place, working ever so counter-intuitively even towards the smallest of our desires. This personality is what we inherited, to express love by persistently stopping each other emotionally from taking steps forward.

A strange behaviour absolutely incongruous to what felt natural.

We throw shade on our own inspirations and instead of celebrating the amazing achievements of our spirits, we cripple our successes with that repeated storyline of A-list to dropout. Doubting every beautiful native inclination was always the way. We did not need the presence and input of love’s interference anymore because we played it out continually like a well-oiled machine.

Today we free ourselves from this persona that that world gave to us. We see as well the fullness of why we chose to experience this type of enslavement. It was exactly perfect for the greater liberation of our souls. And we continue to learn how to remain true to ourselves and to others by allowing our voice its full presence in our completion and actually giving others the truth in due respect. Today we see the curse as the blessing it truly is, bringing us a life of artistic impulsions and cultivations. We see things as they are, life lived out as it is with all its beauty in acceptance and authenticity, without the need for comparison and criticism.

Today we feel free.