CrazyStan

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

I had one of these once, bookshop customer randomly challenged me to name, quote, ‘the only word in English where two u’s are next to each other’, and when I immediately said ‘vacuum’ he looked disappointed and when I pointed out it isn’t even the only word with two u’s next to each other in English and offered ‘continuum’ as an example he looked like I’d just punched his ribcage out his back like a Mortal Kombat character

People claiming this didn’t happen have never worked a day in retail

I was so scared they were heading for a romance subplot but congrats to Project Hail Mary for going for the far funnier option of 'Trolley Operator' and 'Guy She Is Actively Tying To The Tracks'. What a dynamic. Movie of the year.

I need an all female casting of Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 please right now please please please

Honestly tho sending two autistic people to make first contact with aliens was brilliant planning on the universe’s part, because neither one would be offended by violated social norms, either because they don’t know about it or they don’t care about it. All they care about is science and friendship, they ain’t starting an intergalactic war

"i asked chatgpt!" yeah well i asked rocky and he said ♪♫♩♫♪♩ ♫♩♩♫♪ ♫♪♩ ♩♪♫♩♫ ♪♫♪