Turians and Pretty Pictures

Untamed Tarot: 12 - THE HANGED MAN

1. Cor Blimey, What If Facebook Likes Were The Only Way To Earn a Quid

2. Me Bloody Computer Tried Ta Kill Me, What a Right Corker

3. There Is An App That Can Download You… Well Scary Innit Bruv

4. Me New Misses Is a Android And I Aint Bovvered

Everyone I Love Is Dead

The English Have Stolen All My Sheep

You Want To Be My Boyfriend? First You Must Answer These Riddles Three

The Protestants Have Stolen All My Sheep

I Love You A Lot But You’ve Left Me And It’s Raining [fiddle solo]

The Sea Is Treacherous, Just Like The English

One Time Bonnie Prince Charlie Punched Me In The Face And It Was Awesome

* Everyone I Love Is An Allegorical Representation of Ireland

* The English Stole My Farm And Put Sheep On It

* You Were My Boyfriend But Now You Won’t Even Come To The Window To Look Upon Me And Our Dead Infant Child (In The Rain)

* Whack Fol Too La Roo Umptytiddly Good They’ve Stopped Listening Now Let’s Talk About Revolution

genres include:

I Left Everyone I Love Back Home In The Holler To Be With This Guy Who Doesn’t Wear Shoes Or Have Teeth But He Plays A Mean Jug

The English Told Us Not To Move West Yet, We Ignored Them, My Entire Family Was Killed

You Were My Boyfriend But You Tied A Sack Of Rocks To My Petticoats And Threw Me In The Creek (And My Baby Too)

Mama Loves All 14 Of Us A Lot But She’s Weary Of Our Shit And Now She’s Dyin’ (Gather Round)

The McCleans Stole A Firewood Log From Our Pile So We Won’t Rest Until The Last Of Their Male Kin Is Laid In The Cold Ground

We Knew The River Would Rise But We Still Didn’t Fix The Levee 

The River Rose, The Levee Broke, Everyone Died, It Was Just As We Reckoned (dulcimer twang-a-lang) 

When The Rebels Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Southern Man And I Feed Their Horses My Best, When The Yankees Come A-Marchin’ I’m A Northern Man And I Feed Their Horses What The Rebels Left

I think someone needs to put in a word for the English folk tradition though:

I Met a Girl and We Went Hunting (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Caught Some Birds (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl and We Found Her Lost Pet (It Was a Metaphor for Sex)

I Met a Girl By Staying At Her Parents’ House and She Made My Bed (It Was an Especially Thinly-Veiled Metaphor for Sex)

I Am a Girl and I Regret Engaging In Metaphors for Sex Because Now I’m Pregnant

I Met a Girl and Bribed Her Into Sex But She Stole My Horse and Ran Away With It

I Met a Girl At an Inn and We Had Non-Metaphorical Sex But She Stole My Stuff The Next Morning and Now I Have Syphilis

Your Fiance Died Either at Trafalgar or Waterloo, Let’s Get Married, I’m Glad You Said No Because I’m Really Him In Disguise

Lord Nelson Sure Was Awesome

The Press-Gang Dragged Off All the Important Men in My Life (And Now They Are Dead)

Farm Laborers Are The Salt of the Earth And Are Never Grindingly Poor

I Went Out Riding and Noticed Mongolia

We Fought a Bunch of Guys (On Horseback)

Witness My Many Ungulates

(While On a Horse) I Met a Hot Girl Who Reminded Me of a Plant

On Three, Say What That Terrain Feature Looks Like to You (One, Two, Three, A Horse)

Witness My Many Ancestors’ Many Ungulates

I Also Enjoy Heavy Metal, Especially If It’s Made of Horseshoes

Oooorrrrweeeeuuurrrreeeeuuuuwwwwwrrrrrrrr (Is Tuvan for “Horse”)

We love you Mrs. Thatcher (ironic, song describes her death)

The IRA are alright (but we are bitter they couldn’t kill Mrs. Thatcher)

Coal not dole (we love mining, it’s our way of life. As is dying of lung disease far too young.)

Socialism means beating the shite out of fascists and getting away with it (but we never do, and now the police have brutalised us)

The police are cunts (Hillsborough version)

The police are cunts (Orgreave version)

The police are cunts (but my brother is one and the fact I am a striking miner has torn our family in two)

We love Nye Bevan (and get emotional about him when we are drunk)

My father was a communist (but with age he has shifted to the right and now I pretend he is dead whilst worrying I will go the same way)

The trade unions saved my job (and by extension my life, because now I won’t be killed in an preventable workplace accident)

My job killed me (in a preventable workplace accident)

I want to live long enough to see my children grow and prosper (but I won’t)

I love this girl but not as much as I love my city’s industrial past (that is long gone, and now I get emotional about it when I drink)

Like, maybe this is just me, but as a… chick for chicks, let’s say, a ladybro for ladybros, a spectre for spectres… the conversation where the woman you’ve been flirting for several interactions with who’s given no prior indication that she’s straight tells you she’s so not into it? That’s not a clever game mechanic. 

(Oh, it’s realistic, sure, but it’s realistic in the way that a daily shit is realistic, and funny how you don’t see much of that realism in video games.)

It keeps being treated by the writers as this fun thing - explore! discover! you’ll see, haha! - when the interaction they’re describing is one that isn’t even a little fun in real life. When it’s so closely related to the reality that when I came out as bi, years ago, all my straight female friends had to pull me aside and make sure I knew that they weren’t interested in women. (Despite the fact that I was married at the time.) There’s no real awareness on their part that I can see that for a specific group of people that kind of conversation has extremely negative connotations in real life that it doesn’t hold for others.

me, a simple gamer: 

Excerpt from Episode 1 of Lingthusiasm: Speaking a single language won’t bring about world peace. Listen to the full episode, read the transcript, or check out the show notes. (via lingthusiasm)

BARRAYAR 

merry valentines i hope ur smoother than aliens