panic();

Thanks to the DOJ National Security Division for their sincere attempt at full disclosure of their Epstein investigation files. See if you can spot what they redacted in this grand jury document

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

you gotta be fucking kidding me

Purple Francine

Blue Lois

Yellow Linda

Green Peggy

Red Marge

is this just how it's gonna be now

Purple Francine

Teal donna

Blue Lois

Automattic bought this website for $3M

put rainbow laces on all my shoes recently which is fun and sexy but has the side effect that i have gotten multiple "i like your shoelaces" from strangers and like. i cant NOT "i stole them from the president" in return. just in case. but its recieved mostly awkward laughs and looks of confusion. embarrasing myself in public out here over my damn shoelaces.

wanting your guts rearranged by a guy who lives 1,000+ miles away call that missionary impossible

"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string

reblogs are back on for october! limited edition

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)