someday, even artificial flowers will bear fruit

Autumn has come in Eorzea and the weather was eager to prove it. Dejected, G’raha was looking as the dark clouds were taking over the Crystal Tower, threatening to explode at any moment. They hadn’t been able to advance on their attempts to crack the Tower’s secrets and they had been stuck in this loop of sitting and waiting ever since.

“Quite the weather, isn’t it?” A voice G’raha recognized all too well joined him under the canopy. His tail twitched as he turned around to greet her.

“Quite.” He smiled, more so because of the person joining him than for the situation. “I did not expect to see you today, Sao.”

The pink hair Miqo’te returned his smile as she sat down on the floor next to him. She brought her light along through this doom and gloom.

“I had to see the Scions back in town, might as well drop by.” She rested her elbow on her knee and her head on her hand. “Still nothing?”

G’raha shook his head. “It seems we are at a dead end.” He turned back to the Tower disappearing in the sky. “If I could make out this last hurdle, then maybe…” He sighed. “But there’s no use to it. I cannot figure it out.”

“We will get there, I promise.” She bumped her shoulder against his in a reassuring fashion. “You are not alone in this.”

His heart skipped a beat and he turned back to her. She welcomed him with a comforting smile. He couldn’t help but stare for a moment, until he caught himself doing so and cleared his throat. “Right.” he turned away from her again. “It would be less daunting would the weather not mock us like this.”

The sweet sound of her chuckling responded to him. “It isn’t so bad, is it?” 

“Liking the threat of rain?” He asked, amused.

“Why not.” She leaned forward, closer to the edge of the canopy, as if she was ready to catch some drop would they start falling. “I like how it feels in the air. I feel cleansed. Like nothing else matters.”

Despite his best efforts, he couldn’t help but stare at her again. An expression of content rested on her face as she looked at the sky. The next moment, she was looking straight into his eyes and smiled again. There was no need for the sun when she smiled at him that way.

“You should try standing in the rain for a few minutes.” She told him, resolute. “It will clear your mind. You might even find the answers you are looking for.”

“I doubt that.” He chuckled, yet unable to tear his eyes away from her. “I do not do well under water.”

“You have to start somewhere.” She bumped into his shoulder again, amusement clearly visible on her face. “What do you have to lose?”

“Now you are just mocking me.” He laughed. “You just want to see me sopping wet.”

“Damn, was I too obvious?” She teased and he nearly blushed. He brushed it out with a laugh that gave him an excuse to hide his face. 

They talked under the canopy some more until the rain came. Then she made good on her word and left it to go under the water. Worse even, she took his hand and tried to drag him with her. They laughed in the struggle, and soon enough he had joined her. 

He was not sure if the rain had cleansed him, but for a moment of pure joy, nothing else mattered but her and his mind was clear again.

______________

For the first time in a century, the night had returned to Norvrandt. It was a strange feeling, to see everything he had worked for finally come into motion. Yet it was not satisfaction that accompanied him that night, but the weight of what it was going to cost. It rested heavily in the mind of the Crystal Exarch - that was what he was going by now. He had abandoned his real name long ago. 

The night sky seemed to reflect his melancholy, as dark clouds were gathering over him. It brought him back to a time he refused to forget, long, long ago. He strolled the balconies of the Crystarium, the Crystal Tower lightning the way, lost in his own thoughts. Thoughts of what was yet to come, and of what used to be. 

To his surprise, he was not alone in the thick of the night. He stopped right in his tracks, a breath stuck in his chest as he watched her further ahead. She was more beautiful than he remembered, though her saddened expression was one he had wished to forget. He thought it best to leave her to her thoughts, but he was frozen in place, unable to take his eyes away from her. It didn’t escape her notice however, and soon enough she was staring at him, surprised. He cursed himself for his late reaction. He wished not to impose on her. But now that she had seen him, he could not just leave.

Swallowing back his nerves, he joined her near the balcony she was leaning to. She did not flitch.

“Sao.” Her name seemed strange on his lips. Long had he lost the privilege to speak it, only bearing to see it on the page of her many exploits. When given form, her name reminded him of a time he was not allowed to return to. This was one of the many things he kept from her, and just like he was hiding the rest, he hoped his voice wouldn’t betray him. “I thought you would be resting.”

“Couldn’t sleep.” She shrugged, still watching him. She was wary around him. He had noticed. Though he deserved it, faint memories were still sure to remind him of a time it was not so. 

His chest tightened. “I am sorry to hear it.” He replied, lowering his head hoping to hide his face further in the shadows of his hood. “If there is anything that can be done to ease your burden, I would be glad to help.”

She shook her head. “Thanks. I will be fine though. I am just thinking.”

He had not seen her smile since they met again.

He chose his words carefully. “Though I know we do not know each other, I am willing to listen, would you want to speak of it.”

She studied him closely. A shiver ran down his back, once again anxious that she would see past his disguise. 

“Perhaps.” She conceded and the Exarch tried to conceal a sight of relief. 

Even if she did see right through him, she probably did not remember him after all. It had been so long, especially for him. She had met so many people, saved countless lives. How likely would it be to remember careless times, so long in the past? The precious memories he clung to were just drops in an ocean for her.

“What is on your mind?” he probed, burying down his turmoil with all his other secrets. 

“It’s just…” She struggled to find her words. “That Light… Is it supposed to feel this way?”

“How is it feeling?”

“Just….” She tried to put it into words but clearly nothing would do. Instead she just grimaced. 

He swallowed back a smile, lest he seemed disrespectful of her struggles. “Taking in the Light from the Lightwardens will likely burden you in some sort of way.” That truth brought him no comfort. “No one other than you can withhold it… And thus I am afraid no one other than you can know how it feels.”

“Right.” She sighed, bringing her hand to her forehead. “Nevermind then. I will just make it work.”

“If i may…” He cleared out his throat. She looked at him, interrogatively, and he found it difficult to express his feelings. “Though you would be hard pressed to trust me as of now, I would like to remind you you are not alone. Your friends are here to support you.” He hesitated before adding. “And so am I, should you see it fit.”

He knew he could not ask that much out of her. He had done nothing to deserve it but there was nothing he yearned more for than her trust. 

“... I will remember that.” she replied to his bold demand.

A trick of light perhaps, but for a second, he thought he saw the faint ghost of a smile on her lips. His heart skipped a beat. Maybe there were more things he yearned for.

“Whatever happens…” He said in a low tone, more for himself than for her. “I promise you you will see it through.”

She blinked. She clearly did not expect this from him. After a bit, she nodded, acknowledging what he said, scrutinizing him. He was left embarrassed as the silence settled. For a second the past had caught up to him. 

Above them, the clouds threatened to growl any second. Against his better judgement, he commented. 

“Quite the weather, isn’t it.”

She did not reply. He glanced back at her. She looked at the Crystal Tower, melancholy twisting all her traits. Whatever she had in mind, he couldn’t tell. But it pained him to see her like this.

“Whatever.” she whispered. “I should get going.” She cleared her throat and stretched, bringing back a neutral expression on her face. “Thinking about the Lightwardens and all of that.”

His heart sank in his chest. Not at her leaving. But at the implications of it all.

She waved at him. “See you tomorrow.” And with that she left, leaving him alone as the rain started to fall.

He watched her go back to her quarter, barely acknowledging the rain. In that turmoil was added his own as memories came flooding back, from a meaningless time he still held on dearly after all these years. Nothing else was supposed to matter. This world had already taken away her smile. What else had it taken away from her? And how much more will it take away before it is all over?

On his way back to the Crystal Tower, he lingered under the rain, flooded by the emotions he tried to bury.  She had given them back the night, she had taken in the Light. Yet in all of this, he worried about what she would have to lose for it. 

He promised he would do anything so she could see it through. That’s the only thing he kept clear in his mind.

______________

It had been a long time since he had last seen Sharlayan, let alone with this weather. G’raha had wandered out of their quarters at the Students of Baldesion’s annexe to stroll back in the balconies of the city, thoughtful. Though The First was long behind them, the inspirations he had taken from Sharlayan to build the Crystarium brought him back to what had been his home for a hundred years. 

But more than the place, it was those dark clouds gathering in the horizon that made G’raha nostalgic. Long had he changed his view on the rain, once a mere inconvenience, now a memory he came back to every time he was blessed with this weather. 

“There you are, G’raha.” Sao’s voice called for him as he was leaning on the balcony. 

Barely had he the time to turn his head that she was next to him, her arm brushing against his own. He couldn’t help but blush.

“Sao. What brings you here?” G’raha asked her, moreover surprised to see her alone. “No twin in tow?”

“I left them to their bickering.” She rolled her eyes with what was such clear affection he couldn’t help but smile at. “Besides, I wanted to find you. You basically disappeared.”

“I wanted to bask in the city a bit longer.” He admitted. “It has been a while.”

“That that it has.”

They stayed quiet for an awkward moment. G’raha tried to break the silence. “The rain is coming.”

“Yeah.” Sao replied, leaning closer against his arm. “Better dark skies than red, at least.”

G’raha spared a chuckle, though it was no laughing matter. She smiled in response, content to see his reaction. She had such a beautiful smile.

“I like the rain.” He mentioned offhandedly.

“Really?” Sao asked. “I thought you didn’t quite agree with the water.”

“You remember that?” He asked, baffled. 

“Of course I do.” She chuckled, before holding his hand. Ever since they came back from the First, she had been more… tactile with him. He never complained. “You made such a fuss about it back then.”

“It was so long ago.” He blushed, both at the touch and at being reminded of that time he was still young and immature. “I could have sworn you would have forgotten something like that.”

“Just like you think I would have forgotten about you?” She asked, a bit reprehending. Her fingers tightened around his own.

“I know now that it was a mistake on my part.” He cleared his throat, trying to not let it show on his face how affected he was by the gesture, despite his tail and ears twitching enough to betray him. “But this in particular, is just a silly thing.”

“Well, I remembered.” She pouted a little. She looked adorable. “Just as I remembered you. And every little thing.”

“I see.” The only way he saw fit to hide his blush was by turning his head away from her. It still felt surreal to him.

The next second, he sensed a weight on his shoulder that snapped him to look right back at her. She had leaned her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed. He could hardly repress a blush now and could only thank his luck that she wasn’t looking as he turned as red as his eyes and hair.

“I thought about you every time it rained.” She murmured, making his ears stand up tall. “Every time.”

“Oh.” Was all he could say, but his heart was beating like crazy. He feared she might hear it. 

“I still see us under the canopy looking at the tower.” She continued, her eyes still closed, while she was rubbing his knuckle with her fingers. 

“I remember you dragging me out of it to drench me wet.” He teased, tightening his hold on her hand.

She laughed in response. “Yeah, I did do that.” She opened her eyes and looked up back at him. He couldn’t look away from her eyes. “You needed to experience a bit of the rain.”

He smiled softly. He had never been able to resent her, even playfully. “And you were right. It did me good.” he paused a second, hesitantly, before adding. “It made me appreciate the rain.”

“Oh really?” She chuckled. “Who would have known.”

“I thought about you, every time, too.” He hesitated to continue, lest he said too much. “Every time for a hundred years I was back under that canopy with you.”

She squeezed his hand a little tighter, a look he could only identify as tender on her face. His heart skipped a beat again and he felt like he was set aflame.

“You….” he croaked a little, trying to regain his composure. “You used to say that when it rained, it felt like nothing else mattered. Is it still the case?”

She was thoughtful for a second before wrapping her other hand around G’raha’s arm. His heart ran a mile in his chest. 

“No.” She replied. “It matters that I am with you. Then, maybe, nothing else matters.”

She had a gift to make him lose his means. He didn’t know what to reply to that, his throat running dry. Sometimes she sent him strange signals, just like now. In all his time caring for her he had firmly thought it was something he had to carry alone. Sometimes she said those things that made him wonder if he was truly alone in this. Just thinking about it felt like more than he was allowed, more than he deserved, and he quickly chased the idea from his mind.

“Then I will be with you.” He found the strength to articulate. “If you will have me.”

She smiled all so brightly and he could have sworn her skin had turned pink. She held his arm even tighter however and once again he was lost to the sound of his own heart drums. 

“Of course. Let’s be together, on a rainy day like any other day in the future. That’s a promise, right?”

Despite his awkwardness over the state of his body, he answered her radiant smile with one of his own. “Right. That’s a promise.”