I wanted to try my hand at mapping out a (very self-indulgent) hanzashiro adult au, to match the hirakagi and sasamiya ones. I will Probably never write this out fully... but it's fun to imagine?
The big change to the main plot is "What if Tashiro miraculously won against the ping-pong president in his first match, and wasn't forced into the club?" Which I realize is more unrealistic than "Hirano was a little more protective of Miyano" or "Kagi scored one place lower on his exams"... it also kind of kneecaps the arc Tashiro has in the Love & Passion LN chapter, but I guess that's the point. Maybe prev pres had a stomachache that day.
Downstream from that, Tashiro never joined any clubs (he kinda ended up as a floater/pinch hitter/errand boy for all the other clubs) and didn't grow closer to the old folks at the bath house. He's still friends with Miyano, Kuresawa, and Shirahama, but he barely knows Hanzawa as "That cool guy on the disciplinary committee with Miyano who seems to be everywhere".
(I don't know if the hirakagi and sasamiya adult aus are supposed to take place in the same universe? For my purposes I'm gonna say they don't. And this one doesn't match up with them either. So keep that in mind.)
Fast forward 10-ish years. Where Are They Now?
Works in advertising. There are parts of it he likes and parts he dislikes, but he does everything with gusto. His powerpoints make angels weep with envy. Made his way up the corporate ladder shockingly fast. Very, very good at his job. Married to it, even.
All his siblings have settled down with a romantic partner except for him. All his friends, too. (Including the previous president. I have Thoughts on this. But mainly I want hanzawa to be the only one left that hasn't shacked up with anyone.)
He doesn't really want to date anyone, but still finds his day-to-day a bit lonely despite maintaining a vibrant social life:
He still keeps a packed schedule-- he's rarely actually in his apartment except to sleep and sometimes eat, because he goes out so much. Plans all the office parties/get-togethers because he's a weirdo. Remembers everyone's birthdays and gives them relevant gifts. Tries not to give himself a single moment alone with his thoughts (no sober ones, at least).
Close with Hirano, the previous ping-pong president, and Ogasawara (and their partners, to an extent). Gives them relationship advice. He grew closer to Ogasawara in particular after graduating high school, when Hanzawa's brother brought Ogasawara's brother home and they suddenly became prospective in-laws. Hanzawa's fond of him, Ogasawara thinks he's weird but a reliable friend.
He successfully dodges most of his family's attempts to set him up with people. But sometimes they ambush him with a "by the way, this is my friend from work… I'm going to leave you two alone… bye now". Recently, it's started happening more often. His mom likes to tease him about wanting grandkids.
Lives in a swanky condo. It's a pretty immaculate place, albeit a little sterile-feeling. He finds it difficult to personalize his space, so it looks like a model home.
I feel like he'd smoke. sorry king.
Doesn't particularly like drinking (prefers keeping a tight leash on his mental faculties), but still does it socially. And/or when he really needs to turn his brain off. He's a very put-together drunk, though.
(...to an extent. If he has more than like, 3 drinks, he goes pillbug mode and starts whining a lot. And if he really has too much, he politely excuses himself from the social gathering, goes home, and lets some pretty intense feelings of despair and frustration wash over him in the privacy of his own apartment. At a certain point, the familiarity of it can be soothing.)
Drink of choice: "whatever everyone else is ordering".
Still dyes his hair religiously. Some of his piercings are starting to close up.
His lifestyle's pretty taxing on his body. And he's not getting any younger... One day he ends up collapsing at work. Which brings me to:
I have mentioned my fondness for paramedic tashiro in the past. Well. Tashiro's a paramedic
He likes his job, even if it's really stressful. Likes helping people in times of crisis, and his cool head makes him good at it. (Honestly, the stress is kinda good for him.)
I can't decide if he lives in a worn-but-homely apartment alone or if he lives with older relatives. Reader's Choice
Still a really friendly guy; mellowed out a little with age, so he's like a chill brother to his coworkers. Good at grounding people, and working with people in shock. Loves sharing snacks with people.
Shirahama, Kuresawa and Miyano are still his closest friends, though they also had no idea what he was going into until he casually brought it up late into their third year of high school LOL. But he's pretty happy, all things considered. Marches to the beat of his own drum.
Likes to pick up a bunch of different hobbies that sometimes end up helping him with work/life related problems, Golden Boy style. He'll happily do most activities, but prefers ones that keep his hands busy. Whittling and soap-making are up there. If he lives with older relatives, I think they could get him into basket weaving or something. Ties into how he's v dextrous with his hands in canon. :]
His relationship with alcohol is like. Very normal. Drinks socially, and cracks open a cold one on warm evenings. Drink of choice: Beer, sake, or chuhai depending on the situation.
Still dyes his hair. Ropes Shirahama into helping him. He cut it short and re-bleached it right out of high school, but then realized he liked having it long. So now he grows it out. Keeps it in a cute braid like Mio in Harukaze no Étranger. This is really important btw hey are you listeni
Anyways. Hanzawa's coworkers call an ambulance for him when he doesn't wake up right away; he passed out from exhaustion, and ends up waking up on the ride to the hospital. He still recognizes Tashiro-- Prev pres likes to bemoan "the one that got away" when they go out together-- and strikes up a friendly conversation with him. More than anything else, he's frustrated at himself and embarrassed for passing out and making a scene at work... So instead of dwelling on that, he decides to get a good grade in ambulance ride (normal to want possible to achieve) and does his best to act perky and alert while talking up this paramedic he went to high school with. Tashiro, to his credit, takes it in stride and tries to subtly keep Hanzawa from overextending himself.
Once he's checked in, they give him some fluids and make him rest for a bit. His whole family somehow finds time to come in and embarrass him with how openly concerned and doting they are. They love him very very much. Hanzawa valiantly tries and fails to fight off a migraine.
He's discharged by sundown, with strict orders to rest for a few days. Which is a little problematic, because he kind of doesn't know how to do that. He fully intends on just going back to work the next day and being like "So sorry for that outburst! I'm fine!"
On his way out, he stops for a smoke break and runs into Tashiro again. He's just clocked off, so he's eating his dinner on a bench outside the hospital. ("And why didn't you go home first?" "I'm too hungry to drive!") Tashiro still keeps a mountain of snacks on him at all times, so he gives Hanzawa some and invites him to sit and eat together.
They're both pretty sociable people, so conversation comes very easily. Tashiro's so easy to talk to that Hanzawa lets slip his intention to go back to work, and Tashiro gets mad-- fully, genuinely mad, which is a little novel to both of them. Though maybe "frustrated" is a better word?
(Tashiro's not that dumb. He's good at his job, and he's observant, and he remembers the high school rumors that Hanzawa had a clone. Hanzawa's not the first person he's watched run their life into the ground like this, and he won't be the last. Wouldn't anyone want to try changing course when they see what's happening? When they've seen how it ends dozens of times? It's weird how heated he's getting with a near-stranger, though...)
Tashiro makes Hanzawa swear to take it easy sometimes. Has him pinky promise, which Hanzawa finds endearing.
Other than that, the topic of ping-pong comes up. Hanzawa mentions prev pres's "one that got away" comments and how he was thinking of making Tashiro the president of the ping-pong club, somehow sensing his latent potential at first sight. Tashiro laughs and says the matchup was unfair, but he can't really complain since he won.
Hanzawa asks if Tashiro still plays-- he doesn't, and hardly ever did outside of his brief stint with the club. He bounces the question back to Hanzawa, who gives a fairly non-committal "well, here and there" answer. Hanzawa mentions it's a shame that Tashiro isn't making use of his talent for the sport, and since he's been given a lot more agency in this scenario (and because he likes acquiring new hobbies that he can do with his hands), Tashiro's the one to suggest meeting up again to play sometime. Thinks he remembers the bathhouse near his place having a table. Hanzawa, who's somehow the most relaxed he's been in his entire adult life in this moment, readily agrees.
So that's their rapport for most of the adult au. They meet up once every week or two to play ping-pong and hang out. Hanzawa is kind of shocked at how easily and genuinely he gets along with Tashiro, and comes to really look forward to their meetups. In my head there's a plot beat where Hanzawa needs to cancel one of their dates for work reasons, and guilt starts to gnaw at him when he realizes he's been prioritizing ping-pong above his job for awhile now. (This equates to him being like 5% less constantly-on-the-ball than he was before, but his co-workers still notice.) But when it comes time for their next meetup, he feels silly for even thinking of flaking out. Why would he give up something that makes them both so unabashedly happy?
For his part I think Tashiro just really enjoys Hanzawa's company, and maintains the same desire he has in canon to learn everything he can about the guy. As much as Hanzawa will let him, anyways. At the start of each of their hangouts, Tashiro poses a question ("What kind of food do you like?" "Why'd you join the ping-pong club?" "How come you dye your hair?" "How many piercings do you have, anyway?" etc) that kind of defines the "theme" of the rest of their day together. Neither of them fully realize it yet, but Hanzawa is willing (desperate) to share all of himself with Tashiro, even the ugly bits.
\o/ that's most of what I had. Tashiro's presence in his life doesn't exactly fix all of Hanzawa's problems, but through playing and talking with him he learns to understand and respect his own desires a little more. Helps him face them more head-on, if nothing else. And Tashiro gains a cherished friend, one he finds he can open up to in ways he sometimes can't with Shirahama and co.
I also think Hanzawa finds plenty of excuses to crash at Tashiro's place more and more often, because it feels a lot more homey than his own apartment. (If Tashiro lives with family, they get pretty acquainted with Hanzawa real fast. Dote on him a little.) Whether or not he eventually moves in with Tashiro, I can't say, though it would make a nice parallel to the hirakagi/sasamiya adult aus..... they'd grow houseplants together.......... They'd do all of Tashiro's little handicraft hobbies together................... Hm
Extra "oh, they could probably do this" bits that I didn't really develop beyond one or two sentences:
Tashiro asks to stay over at Hanzawa's after a really, really rough shift
Hanzawa practicing his Big Important Presentations with Tashiro as his audience. Whenever he focuses too much on subliminal messaging, Tashiro is like "hey that's really weird" and Hanzawa has to be like "this is par for the course in the world of advertising ^_^" "scary..."
Hanzawa's apartment slowly starts filling up with little knickknacks that Tashiro carves (aformentioned whittling hobby)
Tashiro is Hanzawa's plus-one to his sister's wedding after the friend he was gonna take had to bail last-minute. Hanzawa's a little anxious about it, since even if he specifies "this is my PLATONIC FRIEND tashiro" he's worried his family might still think he likes guys. (Whether he does actually like guys is something that's perpetually in the "please try not to think about it" quarantine zone of his mind, even if he's been indulging a few more looks at it lately.)
Tashiro thinks about this for a couple of seconds and offers to dress as a girl. Hanzawa is like. I'm flattered but I think that might give off a different false impression. And Tashiro is like. Well why don't I try it anyway. And they do. And they look cute
Hanzawa has his annual physical and his doc is openly shocked that his BP isn't sky high like it usually is
Tashiro picks up an instrument (guitar? piano? koto?) and lets Hanzawa listen in on him practicing/fooling around on it.
Tashiro offhandedly says "you're so cool, hanzawa-san" and hanzawa gets really really flustered
Double brunch date with Hirano (protective over his friend. Hanzawa was his best man. knows it's strange for Hanzawa to let someone so close to his heart so quickly, trying to suss out if this new guy has bad vibes, will threaten his life if he does.) and Kagiura (also cares for hanzawa, trusts his judgement a little more than Hirano does, mainly there for quiche). Ogasawara is there too because I love to make him suffer because I wanted to squeeze him in somewhere. I like his and Hanzawa's relationship a lot. why ogasawara the bus driver etc etc
Tashiro borrows interesting-looking books from Hanzawa's bookshelf and gives little verbal book reports when he's done with them. Similar to the sasamiya BL situation, but with like... detective fiction. If you're familiar with that one post, I think he also has a lot of trendy books with titles like "The littlest things we know to be small" "The dark wife" etc. Tashiro feels like he doesn't always "get" them, but Hanzawa likes hearing his perspectives.
They watch one of Shirahama's streams together. Hanzawa gives a really big anonymous donation mostly just to fuck with him
Speaking of Shirahama. Every time Tashiro mentions his hangouts with Hanzawa, Shirahama's like hey man... you sure you and this guy aren't dating...? and tashiro's like I don't think we are? And shirahama gets increasingly distressed at how nonchalant Tashiro is about this weird quasi-dating relationship he's in.
It takes a while for Hanzawa to cross paths with Tashiro's friend group. Tashiro doesn't really volunteer a ton of specific information about his life in the meantime (including but not limited to Hanzawa's name), so they're all kind of under the impression that he was like. Taken in by some mysterious CEO or something. In a gay way.
Bonus round: What's Prev Pres Been Doing This Whole Time?
My thoughts on what the previous ping-pong club pres would be doing in this hypothetical adult au are almost identical to what I think he'd be up to in canon (just sans Tashiro), so I didn't really get into it. Also, this section is easily the least grounded in canon because of how little we know about him. But here are a few quick bullet points.
Haven't thought of a surname, but the given name I've given him in my mind is "Ryuuichi". So there's that. Mainly just wanted the dragon symbolism bc of his big personality. And he's "number one", of course.
It's important to me that he has a very rich personal life that we the audience never get to see. Obscured to us. With that said
Happily married to his partner, whom he met in college. They have a kind of smarmy know-it-all vibe and bounce off of prev pres's grander one v easily... Kind of like.... A certain sport.......................anyways they have a strangely loving, spirited relationship. Sometimes Hanzawa (+/- Tashiro once they get acquainted) goes out with them, and like clockwork prev pres always starts some pointless argument (like "How many holes does a straw have?" pointless) that ends with him and his partner excusing themselves to make out in the bathroom.
Once he learns Hanzawa reconnected with Tashiro, he all but begs to play with the two of them. So he tags along on Tashiro and Hanzawa's ping-pong dates sometimes.
still has weird gay tension with hanzawa Obviously. gets to have it with tashiro too when they meet and start playing together. lucky him. unlucky for everyone else. their bathhouse chats range from "shockingly normal convo between three adult men" to "hazardous to everyone in a 5km radius"
Knows Hanzawa like, uncomfortably well. Uncomfortable for Hanzawa at least. Sometimes he still slips up and calls him "sir".
^ it goes both ways to an extent. Sometimes Hanzawa finishes prev pres' sentence when he trails off and he has to be like "reading my thoughts again? come on now."
He has, like. A Normal Ass Job. But still loves ping-pong! Plays with Hanzawa, Tashiro, and a couple of people from his workplace.
Drink of choice: partial to cider.
Thank you if you managed to read all of this. or "my apologies" i should say. peace and love on planet hanzashiro...?
