[woman who has never been gentle with herself voice] I just need to be more disciplined

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

Apparently when i was a kid as soon as i could dictate what i wanted for christmas i asked for nothing but a 'glamorous chair' in my letters to santa over and over until my mum got tired of my relentless faggotry and staplegunned a purple feather boa to a stool for me

genuinely I'm so sick of people wanting all fiction to be ethical. can we all just get a little gross with it. the point of fiction is that it's not real. we can be unethical in fiction; same goes with being perverted with fiction, being unrealistic with fiction, and being grotesque with fiction. not all fiction has to be ethical, not every character has to be ethical, and that's okay. can we stop with the puritanism. be gross. be unrealistic. be whatever. if I don't like it it's not my business as long as we're all clear that its fictional.

overheard comment today : mate the fucking....rosemary and sea salt focaccia.....madness brother

nothing hits like Amazon Wang