you ever read a gay fanfic and you can just FEEL how straight the author is
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shark vs the universe
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@araiguma
you ever read a gay fanfic and you can just FEEL how straight the author is

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WHO GOT CAUGHT!?
I love that the highlight is on playing Flight Rising when everything else on this list is objectively funnier
TWO MONTHS LEFT OF THE 2010S HOW ARE WE FEELING
two m;onths left of 2020 how th. how the f uck are we f,eelin g.. ... .
DREAM SMP WITH NO CONTEXT
sir these are my emotional support 120 tabs of unread fanfiction

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so like is tubbo’s character actually pregnant or are they just pulling a long con on schlatt and expecting him not to notice when there is no child? like what’s going on with that?
Like. What is the endgame plan here? Just pretend to be pregnant forever? Once people realize there’s no baby you pretend you never acted pregnant at all one day, “no idk what you’re talking about, i never said i was pregnant, i’m sixteen”? Act like it was a prank all along and you got them sooo good?
I mean if their character isn’t actually pregnant and it’s all just a long con, people should be able to tell now, supposedly four months into the pregnancy when they should be showing by now?
And if Tubbo’s character is really pregnant…well that opens up a whole new set of questions, doesn’t it?
Tubbo(the character) is either biologically female, or we have some m-preg
Also, if the child exists, who is the other parent, and if their is no other parent, then Tubbo cloned themself
asexual reproduction is an option, but that would imply that Tubbo is not human. i hope that’s the option that happens
True, but asexual reproduction doesn’t usually involve pregnancy
Also, please let it be ace/cloning, bcuz the only other minors on the smp are Tommy and purpled(aka the only nonpedo options for the other parent)
My main hangup on asexual reproduction is that this is pretty much always treated as a normal pregnancy. If Tubbo (character, obviously) wasn’t human and could reproduce asexually, you’d expect whatever they are to be different in some ways, probably including how pregnancy works, and yet Tubbo is seeing (or at the very least claimed to be seeing) a normal human gynecologist to help handle their pregnancy and treating it as if it were the exact same as any other normal pregnancy.
I also can’t help but doubt Mpreg is an established thing that can happen in the universe of the Dream Smp, but since nobody else has…gotten pregnant…and since most people were taken aback that Tubbo could get pregnant (part of the shock factor is that tubbo is sixteen, but that’s clearly not the full extent of people’s confusion, people were under the impression that tubbo was biologically male and the fact that them getting pregnant was an initial shock to people makes me pretty certain mpreg isn’t normal in this universe)
So that leaves the possibility that Tubbo is biologically female and got pregnant from another person. Technically that should mean either Tommy or Purpled are the other parent (or that someone needs to call the cops real quick), however Tubbo choosing not to specify who the supposed parent of their child is means we don’t really need to think about it. For all we know it’s a random npc around Tubbo’s age. I feel like this is the most probable situation?
Hopefully they are around tubbos age, otherwise I have some heads to knock
I think tubbos character might be bio female because otherwise why would they see a gynecologist(though I don’t think tommy really counts as a gynecologist)
admittedly, looking at lore we also have Wilbur and a salmon having Fundy, so it’s not necessarily another player if this isnt asexual reproduction.
I don’t know weather or not the pregnancy story is true (it would be an incredibly strange lie and the thing is…at four months along tubbo should be showing by now so of schlatt still believes they’re pregnant that means they probably are unless schlatt is just a complete moron who ignores the obvious visual signs of pregnancy that aren’t showing up) either way I feel like we can actually confirm that Tubbo’s character is afab and that Tubbo is probably at least implying there’s another person invovled (and if the pregnancy is real then that would mean there actually is one)
1.) I’m pretty sure the salmon was brought in because a biological female was necessary for reproduction. I don’t think Tubbo used that method for reasons below.
2.) Tubbo was clearly unaware of how reproduction without another human being worked and was rather confused on how Wilbur went about it. He probably didn’t ask Wilbur for more information specifically so he could either go through with it or tell Schlatt he went through with it, but Wilbur was incredibly surprised when Tubbo dropped the whole pregnancy thing on him.
3.) I seriously doubt it’s supposed to be an intentional pregnancy. Weather it’s fake or not. Tubbo is sixteen first off. Secondly in the middle of multiple wars and forming a country is a terrible time to have a baby when you’re in even a semi-important position. Third, Tubbo never mentioned trying to or planning to get pregnant- not even when he first accepted schlatt’s offer to be in high positions in his government did Tubbo mentuon that he was planning to have a kid soon, which implies if it’s real it was an accident or at least if it’s fake he’s acting like it’s an accident. And you can’t go about the canonical methods of non traditional reproduction on accident.
4.) Tubbo is the one pregnant and is telling people he needs a gynecologist, which is an expert on the female reproductive system. When Wilbur had Fundy, if I remember correctly, Wilbur didn’t go through pregnancy. Either way, we can assume there are probably seperate doctors for seperate types of pregnancies- and, well, gynecologists aren’t even always pregnancy doctors, they’re just overall professionals on the female reproductive system. If Tubbo thinks they need one and nobody questions that need then it implies they do probably have a female reproductive system, and for reasons stated above this pregnancy is probably not done in the canonical one person involved way like what Wilbur did.
However we can also assume that the pregnancy is either fake or that the other parent isn’t any of the other named characters because…well…most of them are definately too old for Tubbo and it’d be really horrifying if any of them were the parent, it’s obviously not Tommy because…come on there’s no way he’d get his completely platonic best friend pregnant and even if he did somehow he would say something about it, and like…i didn’t even know purpuled was on the server to begin with idk when he’d be talking to Tubbo. So overall the other parent is almost certainly some random npc we never met and probably never will meet (again weather the pregnancy is real or not this still applies because like..hopefully tubbo at least thought of some story for who the other parent is in case schlatt wasn’t as respectful over the whole thing as he’s being right now and pushed for an answer on that), no matter what I think Tubbo’s character is afab because of the details of the pregnancy (again, weather it’s real or not, even if it’s fake..nobody questioned the situation and tubbo decided to act like they were going through pregnancy in an identical way to anyone who’s afab would, so probably still afab either way)
GABSFSHSVJAGAYAHELP WHAT IS THIS
I love the dream SMP, what angle do u want? A political comedy where the useless president is fucking his co president who's in love with his vice presidents husband who only married the vice president to help his friend commit fraud? Or a story of espionage and spies and a scorned son working from the inside to overthrow a country even though he knows he'll have to face his Terrible father when it crumbles? Or a tragedy of a deeply caring girl left behind by her friends to suffer under the oppression of an unjust ruler with only a beaten down archivist who's secretly a spy and a traitor desperate for redemption on her side? Or do you want a man's fall into insanity as he watched everything he's ever loved crumble and he has to face his own morality while doubting even his closest allies loyalty, not sure if they'll be by his side by week's end? Or a boy who's given up everything important to him for a world that he's lost and he has to watch while his mentor, his older brother, his general, throws away everything to destroy his entire world? Or do you want a sleep deprived PvP demigod with a potato addiction collecting horses?
Reblog if you support asexuals and aren’t a COWARD
RB if your blog is a safe, accepting space for asexuals!
One has to go: Chex Mix edition
anyone who likes mini breadstick can go fuck themselves and if you dont like rye chip youre dead to me <3

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So, you wanna wear your cool pants with your cool shoes.
Your pants have a super cool print and you wanna wear em with some bitchin boots, but the problem is, even though they fit fine, they do this with the boots:
So you’re like, okay, cool, I’ll just cuff them, but then you realize you can’t because they look like this on the inside:
So now you’re like aw man what do I do?? I want the cuff to match the pants but they won’t :(
Step 1! Fold the hem up about to here, make sure the fold is crisp and clean all the way around:
Step 2! Fold the white part up again so it’s the same width as the original hem, keeping it crispy:
Step 3! Fold that original hem down and over, and you guessed it, crispy again:
You have now created a cuff that matches the rest of your pants! Now go, wear your stompy boots with funky pants and be gay
Reblog to save a gay
CARRD MASTERLIST
here is a carrd for BLM
here is a carrd for the crisis happening right now in Yemen
here is a carrd for Hong Kong
here is a carrd for Palestine.
here is a carrd for trans rights
here is a carrd for the terror bill in Philippines.
here is a carrd with various donation links (for Syria, BLM etc)
here is a carrd for LGBT+ rights
this post is constantly being updated - please send an ask if you find more!
NOTE: There are many more Carrds under the cut. This post would become too long if I added more and for the sake of easier access, I put the rest under cut!!
Keep reading
do you support the war in vietnam?
ma’am this is a John Lennon/Paul McCartney erotica blog
and SCENE! that was my impersonation of what i think tumblr would be like in the late 1960’s. just to clarify this is a joke. this isn’t real. there is no beatles erotica here. it’s a bit. it’s a joke
this post is a failure because I was completely willing to accept both John/Paul fanblog and people demanding political positions on the Vietnam War in 2020 without question
I just remembered a post I wanted to make while I was asleep earlier, so here's the wisdom my dream-self had to give:
"ryuk" is the name of light's tapeworm and everything that happens in dn is a dream/hallucination from when he's in surgery to get it removed.
L is the doctor, Mello and near are medical students observing the procedure, Misa, takada and mikami are nurses, etc.
No, I don't take constructive criticism. No, I'm not okay.
i’m in tears

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Most cursed anphibian?
when threatened, the hairy frog clenches the muscles in its fingers to dislocate the last bones in its joints and force them out through the base of the fingerpad as makeshift claws!
sort of like having retractable claws, but more painful.
what is YOUR specific personal reason you shouldn’t be handed the aux? call urself out (in the tags or not. cmon this is public)
Opinions on Mongolian Folk Metal?
Too bad, it's what we're listening to