Go To The Library

Giant isopods are so cool but what’s with the sexy funk music

most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. 

forgive and forget? wrong. charged two-handed heavy attack with my greatsword of resentment

"i've got no qualms about it" meanwhile i'm over here making qualm chowder

Companies deleting media you've literally purchased is 1000x more realistically "stealing" than digital piracy, you cannot change my mind

Primadonna worm all i ever wanted was to squirm

more windows should be stained glass. Just in general

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

50 First Doses

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?