Hi

was talking to a coworker and realised i could not for the life of me remember his name but i was too embarrassed to ask because we've spoken multiple times so mid-conversation i started concocting a plan to nudge the conversation towards the ID photos on our building passes so that i could be like oh my ID photo is awful haha the camera they use to take these has a real talent for making me look as unphotogenic as possible and then he would say oh yes me too haha everyone says that (because they do) and then i would be able to say well let me see yours it can't be as bad as mine! and he would show me his ID because we are coworkers and why wouldn't he and this would allow me to see his building pass which of course would have his name on it and then i would be able to say well yours is perfectly nice it must be me that's the problem! and then we would have a polite chuckle about it and i would have his name without needing to ask for it and he would be none the wiser and all would be well but then before i could execute this fine plan a little voice in my head went "so this is some light yagami bull shit you are about to pull" which was such a violent reality check it shocked me completely out of my embarrassment and i went "hey im so sorry your name has slipped my mind could you remind me" and he did and it was fine.

THE FACT THAT LIGHT PRETTY MUCH DID THIS AT ONE POINT

You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.

*pulls European closer* The most populous countries in the world are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Pakistan, Nigeria, and Brazil in that order, with these seven nations alone making up 48.16% of the world population. You may note with the aid of a map that many of these nations are quite large, and would take several days of travel to go across either in cars or on boats. Almost half of the world's population lives in places where you can travel in a cramped vehicle for days and still be within the country. Your worldview is limited and Europe is a tiny outlier in travel time and standards for international relations.

the only roman emperor i respect is honorius because, during his reign, rome was sacked, and when someone brought him the news that rome had perished he freaked out bc he thought they were talking about his pet bird named "rome," and when they explained that they were talking about the city he was like "oh thank god. who gives a shit"

shouldve called his ass hilarious

"At that time they say that the Emperor Honorius in Ravenna received the message from one of the eunuchs, evidently a keeper of the poultry, that Rome had perished. And he cried out and said, 'And yet it has just eaten from my hands!' For he had a very large cock, Rome by name; and the eunuch comprehending his words said that it was the city of Rome which had perished at the hands of Alaric, and the emperor with a sigh of relief answered quickly: 'But I thought that my fowl Rome had perished.' So great, they say, was the folly with which this emperor was possessed." —Procopius, The Vandalic War (III.2.25–26)

He had a what?!?!

Hardest part of writing is accepting that some people will not fucking get it & you just have to like cope with that because over-explaining it just makes it worse

I will not over-explain my art to the stupidest people on earth. I'm writing for people who know what I'm talking about. Mantra that will save you. David Lynch was right

for the 2025 no resolutions just radical acceptance pile

I can’t wait until my sense of taste is back. This cup of tea tastes like hot water. :(

Don’t worry, that’s normal for tea.

My senses have returned and tea tastes normal again.

So, like hot water then?

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

That’s it, that’s distilled to their essence

The Fox and the Hou- no hang on...

The commitment to the bit! The t-shirt that names the over-the-counter pain killer this man will have to take after this Oscar-winning performance!

I don’t care if it’s 1 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.