ribbit

had a dream where my mom tried to give our Venus fly trap a spoonful of milk and it immediately started hacking and coughing like an adult human man

MY EROTIC ROLEPLAY PARTNER DISAPPOINTED ONCE AGAIN AS I ADD 'SURREALIST ELEMENTS' TO THE SCENE

Southern Country Lawyer voice: Aura Fahming!? Boy you are barely aura gardening! Son your aura is a-withering on the vine!

if I were a bee I'd fetishize the idea of a beekeeper clipping my tiny wings so I can't escape (remembers you're not supposed to say shit like that) I mean yesterday I ate two yogurts normally

some appear to believe that washing dishes is basically a ritual action, i.e. the dish reaches a "washed" state once you have performed the actions of dish washing, involving dish soap and sponge, and that your obligation ceases once you have done this, and not at the point at which the dish is actually clean.

petting bugs with my long crooked witches finger

I need a trustworthy eunuch to handle my shit