apis witchcraft guide

TO BEGIN

You Will Need:

-incense, scented candles, a diffuser, or anything fragrant -a candle (optional) -healing or consecrating crystals or plants of your choice -a journal or piece of paper, as well as a pen or pencil -a highlighter, marker, or paint pen -a comfortable enough place to meditate -a method of divination, if you'd like

You Do Not Need:

-perfect peace and quiet -a clean or picturesque space -a positive mental state -access to a forest, empty field, or even the ability to go outside -good meditation skills

Some Rules:

-please read this post all of the way through before doing it yourself, as the putting your emotions to paper process might involve watching a tutorial video first

-at no point in this process are you allowed to look at or touch your phone EXCEPT in cases that may endanger your life or others. if you cannot find a time to make this work, this ritual may not be for you.

-if you need quiet for meditation, you can use headphones or earbuds, but no music. unless you have someone literally playing an instrument for you, music is not needed here

-during the meditation portion, you are either going to sit there until you feel calm and clear-headed, or until you physically cannot anymore (and if you can't sit, you adapt this to whatever your body is capable of). as my therapist always says, "you can do hard things." sit in your discomfort, even if you have ADHD, even if you're anxious, even if you cry.

-i think that it's important for you to be left alone with your feelings, and if you can't make that work due to your living circumstance, you may not want to go forward, but do whatever you think will work for you.

NEXT STEPS

The first part of this ritual is the preparation, which should hopefully not take too long. All you need to do is collect the materials above, as well as making your meditation space comfortable, maybe watching any of the tutorial videos that I listed, and maybe writing down these steps so you don't need to check your phone.

The next part will be putting away your phone, which I know is harder for some of us than others. And I don't mean that in a judgmental way, I fully acknowledge how difficult life has made it to be separated from our phones, but it's important for this process. Take as long as you need to make sure you won't be distracted by its absence, turn off notifications, put it in a safe place, and forget about it.

The final part of this "prep" period will be lighting some incense, a scented candle, or turning on a diffuser--just to make your space more welcoming to be in. No, you don't need to pick up whatever mess is on the floor. No, the lights don't need to be dimmed, the curtains drawn, or the workspace aesthetically arranged. This is a spell meant to adapt to whatever is currently in front of you, not what should or should not be. Trying to make things perfect means you will never even begin, as you and everyone else knows that nothing is ever perfect.

The purpose of creating a more comforting atmosphere in this way is to use all of the senses to your advantage. Later, we'll also be using sight, touch/feel, and (if you'd like) sound. I enjoy doing this to make myself more grounded in reality, since I regularly deal with depersonalization.

THE RELEASE

Begin by lighting a candle, I prefer seven-day candles or tall pillar candles, since this might take a while. If the candle goes out or burns all the way down, don't freak out, just relight it or get a new one and keep going. It doesn't matter what color the candle is either, and it doesn't need to be dressed, or completely intact. I don't care if it's a Jesus candle from the dollar store or a dusty old white one from the back of Meemaw's closet, whatever you got will work.

The purpose of lighting the candle is just as a symbolic beginning to the ritual, as blowing it out will be the symbolic ending. If you can't use candles in your space, you can achieve the same effect as saying something like, "I invoke the ritual of healing," and "I release the ritual of healing."

If you're going to meditate laying down, or just tend to fall asleep while meditating, maybe avoid lighting a candle. Don't burn your house down just because someone on the internet told you to do something.

Next will be a more complicated part, depending on the person. I personally enjoy writing out my emotions, just because I'm not as much of a visual person, and I already have an internal dialogue of thought. However, many people do not function in this way, and may want to employ automatic drawing or something similar. You could also combine the two, and draw over your writing or write next to your drawings. Whatever you choose, remember that we're not focusing on how things read, our grammar, or the way the drawings look.

drawing your feelings (more abstract)

Some YouTube guides:

journaling your feelings

drawing your feelings (an actual guide)

automatic drawing

The purpose of this exercise is to put get all of that mess in your head out and onto paper. The paper doesn't know what you feel, what you've been through, or what you've been struggling to maintain. Tell or show the paper what you feel, even if it feels redundant or "silly". Use paint or markers or pens or pencils or whatever the fuck you want. Put post-its over top, rip it apart and put it back together again, crumple it and throw it against the wall for all I care. Go until you feel it's done, or until you've crammed as much information into it as you can. It can be one paper or two or an entire journal, but for the sake of these instructions I'll pretend you've just used one.

For the final part of the "release" section of this ritual, you'll be drawing a sigil that I've designed over top of your journal page(s). You can use whatever sigil you'd like, honestly, but I thought I'd design one anyways.

The imagery of this sigil is based on the concept of eyes as the windows to the soul and the three of swords tarot card. The spiral represents confusion or distortion of reality, and the grid represents the cage you might feel you're trapped in.

To make sure the sigil is still visible over top of whatever you used for this exercise, I recommend paint markers (if you have them). If those aren't accessible, then a soft graphite pencil or highlighter also works good!

Afterwards, grab your piece of paper and take it with you to your meditation space. Keep it in front of you as a beacon, or guiding light, for your thoughts.

MEDITATING

Look, I am not an expert, certified instructor, or even particularly knowledgeable about the religious or spiritual background of meditation. I learned meditation from multiple sources including my Buddhist martial arts instructor, various therapists, and practicing on my own. I have been actively meditating for over fifteen years now, varying from occasionally or daily.

At the end of the day, I can't teach you how to meditate. I have resources I can give you (check out Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche on YouTube!), and I have some tips and tricks to share, but I can't teach you how to start from absolute zero.

-You don't need to focus on "clearing your mind," or making your thoughts a complete void. This, for most people, does not work. As someone with ADHD, I constantly have intrusive or racing thoughts, and very rarely experience true blankness.

That being said, here are my tips:

-A lot of practitioners pay particular attention to sitting in a certain posture: cross-legged, spine straight, eyes closed. I have difficulty with this due to my injuries, and so I don't often follow these guidelines. Why? Well, it's my interpretation that these exercises just function to help center your mind and with grounding. I've found that I can still recreate that effect by doing the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (or some variation), and focusing on the rhythm of my breathing.

-Falling asleep is perfectly fine. In fact, sleeping is often vital to healing emotionally and physically, and many people do great spiritual work while asleep.

-Losing track of your thoughts doesn't make your meditation a failure. There is no failing here. There is only stopping, correcting, and moving on.

-Don't get discouraged just because you're struggling to keep still, keep your eyes closed, or whatever. Adjust as much as you need to, hell, keep your eyes open if it's productive for you.

-"Why am I feeling this way?"

Some questions to consider while you're meditating:

-"What are the emotions I'm struggling with recently?"

-"How am I expressing these emotions? Are they hurting me or others?"

-"How is my body storing this stress?" Feel your body, take inventory.

-"How can I move forward in a way that both honors these emotions and doesn't let them control me?"

During this time, I do my best to always be directing my thoughts towards these more productive exercises. What is "unproductive" will vary from person to person, but I commonly find myself trying to strategize for the future or fixating on what could have been, which is only an exercise in futility.

You will be the one deciding when your meditation is complete, but I usually pull myself out of it when I have run out of things to ponder, have finished crying (hey, it happens), or have reached a better state of peace and stability. Do whatever works for you.

RECHARGING

Now that you've emptied your brain out a little, we want to fill that space with something that suits you better. This can be many things! Self-affirmations, prayer, a nap, whatever you'd like. For the sake of this ritual, though, I have provided what I did myself.

Grab a healing or consecrating (meaning blessing, basically), plant or crystal. I like amethyst for this, since we're tackling our emotions.

If you grabbed a crystal, go ahead and press them to your eyes or forehead, and concentrate on leeching the powers of that stone into your body. You're not trying to be a vampire here, draining it of it's power entirely, it's more like copying someone else's code. Let the crystal rewrite your thought processes, let it show you how to let love and peace in.

If you grabbed an herb of some kind, go ahead and light it on fire somewhere on the workspace in front of you. Breathe in the fumes (don't stick your nose in it, freak) and go through the same processes as with the crystal. Let it show you what you need to heal.

TO WRAP UP

Now, you could stop here, blow out the candle or say your goodbyes, and go reward yourself for all your hard work--but I like to add one more step.

Sometimes, it's hard to see myself from an outside, objective point of view. I get so swept up in self-hatred, sadness, and anxious thoughts that I forget what the truth is. If you're anything like me, you might want to break out your favorite divination method and ask some of the same questions you pondered during the meditation.

Things like "What do I need to heal?", "Describe the emotions I've been struggling with, from your perspective," "What do I need to leave behind, and what should I bring into the future?", "How do I maintain positivity despite my life circumstances?" You could ask more questions than this, or less, depending on what you need in the moment.

After that, you're good to blow out your candle or say your goodbye. Have something nice and sweet (if you want), watch your favorite show or movie or go outside, and curl up with your pets (if you have them). Stay off your phone for as long as possible, and only do so once you feel you can shield yourself from all the negativity that can bring. This ritual is often stressful, draining, or vulnerable, and it can be hard to bounce back immediately. Don't punish yourself for taking the time you need.

WHAT IS ECLECTIC PAGANISM?

Wikipedia defines it as follows: "[...] where practitioners blend paganism with aspects of other religions or philosophies, including the blending of separate pagan traditions."

However you feel about Wikipedia, I feel like this is a good enough introduction to the concept. But I still think it would be pertinent to create my own definition, weaving in some of my personal opinions and practices.

ECLECTIC PAGANISM: a religion consisting of modern polytheistic or pantheistic practitioners that adapt personal praxis to multiple cultures, traditions, or belief systems.

Why not use the term “pagan” in my definition? Well, I've noticed that "pagan" has become too often synonymous with cultural erasure. Sorting Hellenic polytheists and Norse polytheists under one umbrella term feels irresponsible and disrespectful to not only the practitioners, but also the cultures their religion hails from.

How does this differ from omnism (belief in many or all religions)? From syncretism (blending of two religious frameworks, often because of cultural blending)?

Well, that largely depends on the individual, but I can give at least a little insight. I am an omnist. I am also an eclectic pagan. I am an eclectic pagan because I am an omnist, but not the other way around. It is definitely possible (and I know this because I've seen it) for an omnist to be a reconstructionist (someone who attempts, to the best of their ability to worship exactly how it was done in antiquity) or a revivalist (reviving and adapting ancient frameworks for modern praxis).

Syncretism is very common when looking back across history, considering how ideas and culture were transferred through emigration, trade, and domination. Meaning, syncretism is a word often meant to refer to blending of culture that has already happened, before the days of the internet and global politics. Take Greco-Egyptian polytheism, for example, a syncretic tradition with its own gods and legends that arose (largely) because of political control over and trade with Egypt in the Hellenistic and Roman periods. Of course, that isn't to say that worship couldn't adapt and change on its own. Local cults were a thing for a reason, but that's a somewhat separate topic.

Anyways, eclectic paganism. Eclectic paganism is neither of these things because A) omnism is more of a philosophical belief, rather than a religion in its own right, and B) syncretism is an action, not, again, a religion.

There's something else I feel needs to be said. Being an eclectic pagan is not an excuse to bastardize religions and cultures that are not your own. It is not an excuse to scoop up what you like and dump the rest. It is not an excuse to slap a pseudo-evangelical Christian label onto a community with a rich artistic, linguistic, political, or historical identity.

That is to say: you cannot practice a religion completely separate from the pre-existing cultural framework.

In fact, some days being an eclectic pagan looks more like reconstructionism for me than it does anything else. As a Hellenic polytheist, I've read the PGM, I've read the Theogony, I've read the hymns, the Iliad, and the Odyssey. Hell, I've read dissertations and scholarly articles so long it would have most people bleeding from their eyes. But I did that so I knew what was required of me to be respectful and honor the living and dead Greek people. I did that so I knew the history and background of the worship and magic I engaged with.

WHY DID I CHOOSE ECLECTIC PAGANISM?

Okay, forgive this side tangent for a bit before I get to the “how,” because I want to keep the framework I set up in the title.

For background: I grew up in a staunchly atheist family, with non-denominational Christian grandparents. I've been dragged to Church maybe three times in my life, and my parents threw somewhat of a fit each time. My Dad is very strict with me and my brothers on this topic, and entertains no discussion of ghosts, magic, religion, or spiritual beliefs. He calls my tarot cards "bullshit," is very openly critical of religious folks, and trashes modern witchcraft like all hell.

Due to that and my raging authority problems, I have never felt comfortable listening to or obeying the rules or guidance of any religious figure. When I discovered witchcraft and paganism (it happened at the same time, which is why I group them), I had quite the conniption about it. It took me months to even justify my beliefs to myself, and I'm no closer to being fully open about my religion to many of my friends and family than I was at the very beginning.

At the end of the day, my beliefs and praxis are private; they're for me, not anyone else. In the beginning, when I had no community or any idea that so many people like me existed, I convinced myself I had to make it all up on my own. I hadn't even heard the term Hellenic Polytheism before I stepped foot into tumblr, I just knew I worshipped the Greek gods. And yeah, maybe it's a little embarrassing to admit that I was like that for as long as I was, but I try not to feel ashamed of things I can no longer control.

When I found the HelPol and wider pagan community here on tumblr, I immediately knew I wanted nothing to do with Wicca, with strict reconstructionism, or, god forbid, Greek and Roman philosophy. I've always hated listening to the rules set out for me by men dead for my age a hundred times over, whether that be the Constitution, the Bible, or Plato. But I also knew I had to be respectful of the culture, now that I had a better picture of what that looked like.

So, with much trial and much error, I did as much due diligence as was possible to get to know Ancient Greece, the Ancient Greek religion, and modern practitioners.

And what I discovered? It's not easy to do both.

HOW CAN I BE A "GOOD" ECLECTIC PAGAN?

Well, first of all, dispose of any notion that you should be doing anything for that purpose at all.

The Purpose, and in fact the only reason at all, you should choose eclectic paganism, is because you've tried every other option and still felt unfulfilled. And even then, eclecticism may not be the right choice for many people.

Right now, I'm working on researching Irish folk magic and polytheistic beliefs. It would be, under no circumstances, acceptable to warp or change the traditions of a culture already so close to being destroyed by Christianization and time as it is. It would be inappropriate to blend it with Greek/Roman/etc. practices (unless I’m willing to dive into historical syncretism), and should be kept entirely separate.

In fact, in being an eclectic pagan, my day to day looks a lot more like juggling multiple clay balls, not smashing them altogether in some gross amalgamation. So again I must reiterate that practices within a certain cultural framework should never be removed from that background, and to do so would be extremely offensive to everyone alive or dead. 

Because all too often does that become rewriting, then cleansing, then dictating the rules for a culture that still exists. The moment your tone turns from one of "this is how I do things for me," to "this is how I think everyone should practice!" you need to put your phone down and lie face down in a lake until you wake the fuck up.

Take Diana for example. Diana isn’t a divine feminine archetype from a duotheistic Wicca, she is a goddess from a real, living, breathing, group of people, and fucking with that is frankly disgusting.

But at the end of the day, I’m still here asking myself whether I’m doing things “right.” I question whether I should be spending more time researching Greek history than pointing my sights in a new direction every other month.

And maybe it is a little ambitious for me to try to research literally everything I can about so many different people and practices, but I’m doing my best. I think it’s my responsibility to be as comprehensive as possible, and I’m just really interested in these topics anyways.

HOW DO I JUGGLE ALL OF THAT?

Well, y’know, it’s not super easy or straight forward.

What I tend to do, most of the time, is dedicate one day to one project. One day will be researching Ancient Greek necromancy, the next early English folklore, the next pre-Christian Irish polytheism. It keeps me entertained (as I have raging ADHD), and satisfies my unending craving for knowledge.

I won’t go on to create a list of “closed practices,” as I feel that’s largely reductive, but what I can do is recommend you always research the origins of a practice, and become familiar with what descendants are telling modern practitioners. For example, there are plenty of resources from indigenous sources online about the usage of white sage and the misusage of the term “smudging.” They should first and foremost be the people you turn to, NOT just some random white guy online (including me).

I can’t for the life of me find the post on here talking about the usage of sage that was written from an Indigenous American perspective, but if I do I’ll come back and link it here.

WHAT IS AN ALTAR TO THE SELF?

This temple can be created from a very wide variety of items, but most often includes things that are meaningful or attractive to the person. For me, this includes crystals, trinkets, bones, flowers and herbs, pictures or drawings, sigils, and salt or ash. My friend also has a little statue that represents him, self-affirmations, and a devotional jar of beads in his.

I was introduced to this idea as not just something to help improve my self-confidence, but also as a way of shaping my future self. Each crystal will have its own meaning or trait that I'm is hoping to embody, and I can move them closer or further away depending on what I need more in the moment.

And even if you didn't care for a spell like this, from a psychology standpoint, this absolutely seems like it could be a productive exercise--especially if you're a more visual person.

HOW TO MAKE THE ALTAR

For this I'll introduce two different methods, one that I employed, and one that my friend employed.

My method:

Start with your favorite color(s) and maybe even an aesthetic (like cottage-core, dark academia, etc.)

Choose items that represent those colors or aesthetics, for me this would be green, pink, or purple crystals, naturey trinkets, and drawings that combine the two

Include things of great importance to you, even if they don't fit in the aesthetic, and try to make them look right

Arrange everything in a visually appealing way (I'll give some examples of this later)

But what my friend did was kind of the opposite, building the altar from the top down with things that were important to him, and just making it look good from there.

You've probably noticed that I make a big deal about the visual appearance of this altar, which is on purpose. I believe that it is of great importance this altar is appealing to you, since it's supposed to represent you, and it's supposed to represent your interests. If you don't really care as much about things being artistic or aesthetic, that's okay! As long as you can look at it and go, "Yeah, that's the vibe, that's what I want for myself," then you've done it right.

You can also add things like sigils, salt, or ash for an added layer of protection or a "boost" to the magic aspect, which I've added to mine. I also really like bones and don't have anywhere else to put them, so I add those, and I'll throw in some lavender to the salt since that's my favorite herb to use in workings.

WHY CREATE AN ALTAR?

Have you ever felt tired of being subservient to the whims of some external force, of waiting for things to happen rather than getting to decide that for yourself? If you do, this might be for you.

And it's not that this is supposed to snub or push aside worship of actual deities (I mean it can but it doesn't have to), but add to it. Think about it, most of us already have a self-care routine, something sacred to us, that we may even dedicate to our gods. All this altar is meant to do is add to that, to create a holiness to self-love and self-care.

The ultimate purpose of this exercise is to manifest the things you want in life, to design your future self, and combat the helplessness many of us feel when things start to change. It's meant to feed your energy, to form a conduit between you and something physical (which is helpful for those of us that dissociate often).

It is not meant to feed some heretical "fuck you" to the gods or the universe, rather give these forces a framework or "checklist" of things you want. At the end of the day, this is more similar to a spell than making yourself a deity that you want other people to worship.

new protection charm!

featuring: green swarovski crystals, tigers eye, hematite, and brown agate