âOne of my earliest memories is sitting in a sand box and watching the other kids play. I could see their mouths moving but couldnât hear what they were talking about. They seemed so happy. And I desperately wanted to participate. But my deafness kept me in a glass cage. I was never able to verbally speak. And whenever I tried to reach out, Iâd be forgotten quickly. During recess Iâd sit alone and read my books, because it hurt too much to look at the other kids. In high school I had an interpreter who predicted Iâd never marry. She said that disabled people were too much of a burden for abled people. It was a casual remark for her, but I never forgot it. And the few flings I had as a teenager only reinforced that belief. None of the guys I dated learned sign language. They didnât even try. I think they viewed dating a deaf girl as more of a novelty than anything. And every time it didnât work out, I was left feeling lonelier. I went to college two hours away. Which wasnât far, but it was far for me. And I first met Stuart in my education class. He tried to say âhelloâ that very first day, but I accidentally ignored him. I think he figured out the reason once my interpreter showed up. But he kept smiling at me, and a few days later he slid me a photo with a note on the back and his email address. I spent a lot of time looking at that photo, waffling back and forth about whether I should contact him. But finally I decided there was nothing to lose. We began spending time together outside of class. Weâd communicate by writing back and forth in a notebook. I learned all about his life. And he learned about mine. After a few months of this, I started to have hope, maybe he was actually interested in my thoughts. Maybe he liked me for me. One night we were watching a scary movie in my dorm room. We were writing back and forth, laughing at the cheesy scenes, when suddenly Stuartâs face grew serious. He wrote that he needed to tell me something. My heart sank. Â I thought: This is where he tells me that Iâm a lot of fun, but my deafness is a dealbreaker. But he looked me in the eyes, took a deep breath, and haltingly began to sign: âWill. You. Be. My. Girlfriend?ââ
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