Antiquiness

"you were always such a good kid! we never had to worry about you :)" thanks! you actually should've, though. like about this specifically

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

I read books and sometimes I even finish them

you should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. what do you mean i have to do it again

i really wanna know which marketing clown convinced so many companies that their employees need to be constantly trying to talk to customers because 90% of the time it just makes me feel like a trapped animal. if i walk into a store and someone approaches me like "HI CAN I HELP YOU" i am gonna say no thanks and probably awkwardly leave without buying anything. the fixed smiles on your cashiers make me feel bad for them. i surely cannot be alone in this. you are losing customers. good job idiots.

in many ways i am still my pretentious 14 year old self which is fine

I wish I had the setup and the spoons to start doing those long deep dive YouTube video essays. There are so many moments in American history I would love to discuss.

Have you considered making a podcast

I think there are too many white men in their 20s with podcasts and I wouldn’t want to contribute to the white guy in his 20s with a podcast epidemic.

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

gonna show people my authentic self soon. just as soon as I get it perfect. soon. any day now I'll be good enough to open up to others

*makes no effort to include self* what the fuuuuuck why do i feel so left out

Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech