Literally Dead.

had a dream staff added an update where if you don't get enough likes on a post in 24 hours they delete your blog and everyone on my dash was begging for their life

As soon as I turn 18 I'm gonna submit myself into the Sexy Woman contests and watch as I loose to Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs

Cube Woman: The Woman Cube With Boobs is not a real thing btw yeah I can see you reaching for the search bar

You've locked me into a future of failure

not to be all "these two words will change your life" or whatever, but I promise you, programming in "good catch!" as your response to people correcting you/pointing out errors or whatever removes so much friction from interactions, and comes with a delightful happy meal toy of "not hating yourself so much for making mistakes"

I use "I stand corrected" a lot. The mild silliness of the outdated language makes it work for me.

Hey science side of tumblr why does peeing feel so good?

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

Computer, show me gay minotaurs

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

Has anyone else noticed recently that when you press the 🅐 Button while in the air you can hardly find the strength to do a Double Jump anymore? Go ahead and try if you want, but it won't work.

Nothing's been the same since she... fuck... I'm sorry... since she... since she left this world. If only I'd remembered that holding and releasing the 🅑 Button would've allowed me perform a powerful Spin Attack. If I hadn't forgotten, she might still be here today. Shit... fuck... I can't handle this anymore, I'm sorry.

There's a Save Point over there. They say if you stand on it and press 🅧 you can save your game. But can any of us really be saved? I don't think so. Not after everything we've done.

Press the 🅜 Button to undo the damage from this War. Oh? There's no 🅜 Button on your Controller? Funny that.

The thing I dislike about alt histories where real life monarchs have been made both gay and unproblematic is that it seems to imply that gay monarchs have not existed in history but if they did they would be cool. Which isn’t true. They have existed and they were just as bad as straight people. And I think it is disrespectful to real queer history to pretend that queer people have never been absolute bastards

why is this post completely broken in every way imaginable

It’ll be almost impossible to find this post unless it wanders across your dash.

It wandered across mine. I shall help it travel forward.

this is not a place of honor

Oh hey post of Ozymandius, good to see you again standing on your feet in a desert where no one remembers you