hi! im anri. they/them. my favorite color is pink, my favourite animals are lambs and bunnies, and i draw stuff!
all my art can be found using the tag #anridraws! ^__^
any ramblings/textposts: #anritexts
reblogged stuff: #anreblog
inbox asks: #anrimail
you can use my art for edits/repost it, but credit me pretty please! creditless pfps are fine :3 i also do requests, tho they always take quite some time. . . comms closed unless said otherwise!
my twitter: x.com/anriflores4
strawpage (send me stuff!!): anriflos4.straw.page
currently my main fandom is mcyt, more specifically decayed and decrepit (SPIDEY!! sunset trio wifies) and on occasion vampires smp. not about ccs, only characters, yadda yadda. i also really like rpg maker games and visual novels. everyone play higurashi and your turn to die NOW! english is not my first language dont throw tomatoes at me please
all the vavid art was done before we knew avidmc is a terrible person. i wont be taking it down but dni if you support them
⚠️ possible tw: spoilers, eyestrain, mild blood, unhealthy themes
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one of rgu's best takes about rape and incest is that rape and incest are not deviant. they are exceedingly normal. they are, in fact, the logical extension of patriarchal romance and the patriarchal family -- the same logic that underpins those structures facilitates abuse, rape, incest, and csa. many people, even those who nominally understand the idea of rape culture, conceive of rape as a deviation from cultural mores, and even more people view incest as an aberration, a twisting of the Family (which is Good) into something unnatural and evil. but rgu correctly identifies that rape and incest are outgrowths of patriarchal society, not alien intrusions upon it. incest is merely a symptom of the problem which is the patriarchal family itself. rape and domestic abuse are merely symptoms of the problem which is patriarchal & heteronormative romance and society itself. rather than rape being deviant, it is resistance to patriarchy which is deviant; rather than incest being abnormal, it is a girl holding out a hand to another girl in pain which is abnormal. because 'abnormal' does not mean 'bad' any more than 'normal' means 'good'. "fall in love normally, get married normally, have a normal family, and have a normal life -- but normal has nothing to do with us!"
“I am your daddum, Lo. Look, I’ve a learned book here about young girls. Look, darling, what it says. I quote: the normal girl —normal, mark you— the normal girl is usually extremely anxious to please her father. She feels in him the forerunner of the desired elusive male (‘elusive’ is good, by Polonius!). The wise mother (and your poor mother would have been wise, had she lived) will encourage a companionship between father and daughter, realizing —excuse the corny style— that the girl forms her ideals of romance and of men from her association with her father.”
This moment from Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov reminded me of this post. How H.H insists that their relationship is “normal”, that normal girls feel an attraction to a father/father figure. But even though he is using this concept to manipulate Dolores into silence, those books exist, those ideas are understood to be what “normal girls” should feel or think. He is using those patriarchal concepts to manipulate her and justify his abuse. And just like in RGU, the romantic ideal is also bound to the family aka the patriarchal heteronormative structure, normality : in Utena is the prince the brother, here Humbert uses the father figure. like op says “[rape and incest] are exceedingly normal. they are, in fact, the logical extension of patriarchal romance and the patriarchal family -- the same logic that underpins those structures facilitates abuse, rape, incest, and csa.”
Nabokov is also able to identify this in his novel, and what is, I think (though i have not finished it yet) one of the main themes in the story.
This is the hopefully first of a series of posts I'll be doing reinterpreting ISAT's Loop through the lens of START AGAIN: a prologue's context. As such....
Major spoilers for both ISAT (all acts, including optional content) and SASASAP (all endings).
One of the biggest differences between ISAT and SASASAP is it’s QoL – it’s Quality of Life. QoL refers to all the little things that make a game just that little bit more playable; quick to navigate menus, quicksaving… tutorials.
It’s not really a surprise that SASASAP is as RPGmaker as RPGmaker gets. This isn’t a criticism, just an observation, and also a compliment to how much Adrienne’s skills with the engine improved between releases. Still, there’s some things that ISAT has over SASASAP.
ISAT’s QoL is absolutely essential to making it bearable. Anyone ever watch an ISAT playthrough where the player sighed in relief as the tutorial on picking where you loop came up?
SASASAP lacks a lot of ISAT’s QoL because it’s an earlier project without a studio backing it, but what impresses me is how this change ties into narrative.
Because the greatest chunk of ISAT’s greatest QoL is provided by Loop.
Even before you ever meet them, they’re already over your shoulder. Loop is the tutorial, speaking to you inside your brain.
It’s genius, in that no player is ever going to question this. Hell, SASASAP’s movement tutorial is the exact same thing with less flavoring
This reframes what the QoL is – it’s not just a convenience to the player, it’s a convenience to Siffrin, too. It’s diegetic. It’s not something the game is giving you, it’s something Loop is giving you.
Let’s look at what Loop gives you, and more importantly, why.
Zone Out
The first of the QoL features I want to talk about is the Zone Out function, the absolute bread and butter of not making this game a total slog.
The Zone Out feature as is did not exist in SASASAP (because Adrienne didn’t know how to do it yet) – instead, some doubled scenes let you just skip them entirely outright. There’s only two extremes: listen to all of it again, or none of it.
ISAT’s zone out system is much more dynamic, since it fast forwards dialogue line by line, letting you zone in whenever you’d like, and forcing you to zone in whenever a) something notably new happens, or b) whenever Siffrin speaks.
The way this feature is introced by Loop is kind of genius. Because Loop’s tutorial is about one thing – it’s okay to skip.
“You might miss what your party is saying, but who cares, right? If you make them mad, you can always loop back and they'll have forgotten all about it!”
It’s a cruel joke, or at least it seems that way on the surface. It’s also genuine advice. And a cruel joke at the same time. For Siffrin, freshly starting the loops, this is scandalous, but for Loop, who’s long since desensitized, it’s the same old same old.
What Loop’s doing here, by joking about Siffrin not listening to the party, is alliviate Siffrin’s guilt when they inevitably take Loop up on the offer. Because, even though Loop loves their party members…
From SASASAP, when sitting outside the bathroom:
(Will you get farther this time?)
(Will you live this time?)
(Or are you stuck listening to the same lines forever?)
(…)
(Stars, you’re so tired.)
Loop knows intimately well that Siffrin is going to drive themself insane trying to be a people pleaser every single loop, so this joke is telling the outright – don’t bother.
At first, Siffrin (and the player) still might. I really enjoyed reading the same conversations five times minimum because they’re fun and I’m deranged, but at some point I did start skipping them. And it was a relief to know there wouldn’t be anything new.
Siffrin: “Should I check everything again?”
Loop: “You mean, should you check the same barrels, the same closets, the same objects on tables every loop?”
Loop: “I mean, you can, but… You know things won’t change, right?”
Loop: “If you really want to get a certain item again, or listen to your friends repeat something funny, you should!”
Loop: “I personally would only check two or three things every loop, and ignore the rest.”
Loop: “It will just make you crazy to expect something to change, when nothing will.”
Loop: “All that might change is your reaction to it!”
The game is telling you, Loop is telling Siffrin, don’t drive yourself insane playing, please. The characters aren’t going to remember if you skipped something.
In the course of my script wizard activities, I’ve gotten an in-depth view of just how much that actually holds up. Pretty much all major differences are by Act, unrelated of how often you’ve done something. Minor variations apply for other things, but… those variations are minor.
And this also points out what all those variations are. Siffrin’s reactions!
Loop’s pre-empting Siffrin’s guilt, cuz they probably felt it themself. Hell, we do know they felt the pressure to perform and make sure nobody notices anything’s wrong, in SASASAP! Right up until the finale, Loop was driving themself up the wall.
(You have to act, you can't crack, you have to fake it and play it exactly as you did the first time for the whole way through so your friends don't find out anything is wrong)
(You don't want to know what would happen if they knew their quest was in vain)
(If they knew their quest for justice and change always ends in stillness and death!)
Acting everything out perfectly is one of the ending paths for SASASAP, which results in… complete and utter failure. Obviously.
(You acted perfectly normally, didn't you?)
(Nothing out of place, nothing weird, every line the same as it might've been the first time?)
(Ah…That was your mistake, wasn't it…?)
(Because… Didn't your very first time… end exactly like this?)
(The King throws the Housemaiden's body onto the floor again.)
Zoning out for too many conversations actually awards weird points in SASASAP, locking you out of the Perfect Ending. On the other hand, acting “perfectly” in ISAT… has no awards whatsoever. No special scene or or optional event or anything at all. You get nothing for paying attention!!!
So spare yourself the pain already, m’kay?
(On that note: I don’t think Loop not being sarcastic about it would’ve like… worked. At the start of ACT 2, Siffrin isn’t going to believe Loop when they say “Stop forcing yourself to relive the same thing over and over because you’ll start seeing your friends as disposable actors and lose touch with reality.” That all comes later, when Siffrin can look back on Loop’s words and see how right they were.)
Loop Back
The second biggest sigh of relief in any given ISAT playthrough is probably this specific tutorial.
Loop graciously shows you that you don’t need to loop back all the way to the beginning every single time. You can pick and choose where to go, even going forward by paying up with Memories of Skirmish.
This is a feature SASASAP does not possess, for the reason that it is much, much shorter, only covering about as much as one floor of ISAT’s three floor House.
But… since this is a character showing this to you, Loop showing this to you, we can ask… when did Loop learn this? After all, START AGAIN, Loop’s loops, do not have this feature.
“It'll save you time, so it's important, so listen up!”
This feature not existing in SASASAP means this is a thing that Loop did not know exists during their own time as Siffrin.
And that’s just the thing, isn’t it? SASASAP’s Siffrin does not know how to do this. They cannot pick and choose where they end up, as demonstrated wonderfully by SASASAP’s True Ending.
There’s an even more wonderful implication, though –
On SASASAP’s Perfect End path, when exiting the final room before the King, Isabeau says this:
Isabeau: “…I'm glad you're feeling better, though!”
Siffrin: (…?) “What do you mean…?”
Isabeau: “Oh!!! Um, you were…”
Isabeau: “Well! You were acting a little weird when we were way closer to the Castle's entrance……”
Isabeau: “You weren't really listening to us, you were kinda smiling the way you do when you're actually not happy…”
Isabeau: “…and you like, almost acted like you knew exactly where you were going?”
Isabeau: “But clearly you're feeling better now! You're acting just like normal!!!”
SASASAP’s Siffrin knew how to do this, somehow managed to lock themself into the House’s last floor… and then forgot how to get back. By making this tutorial, Loop is ensuring that Siffrin never will.
“What can I do next?” – SASASAP’s greatest flaw
So, if you’ve had the pleasure of playing START AGAIN START AGAIN START AGAIN: a prologue yourself (as you should), then you’ve probably faced this scenario, or some variation of it:
I got to the end, I died to the King, but… what do I do next? The game tells me to go for the extremes, but how do I do that?
(edit: apparently some of yall just managed to speedrun sasasap in two loops. You're gonna need to stay with me here, please. Suspend your disbelief a bit, because a lot of people [including me] were dumbasses about it)
Maybe you try another loop, but just get the same ending again (or a differnet one, depending on a coinflip). You’re getting frustrated. Getting the Perfect Ending demands pinpoint precision to avoid everything weird, the True Ending demands good memorization of every single damn key in the game, and the order you do everything in. (Though, to be fair, the requirements on that one are actually more merciful than one might expect.)
Point is, in SASASAP, it’s incredibly easy to get stuck in that endless loop of “What the fuck do I do now?” It’s not uncommon to think you got it right only to get the same result anyways.
What does one do in this situation?
They consult a guide, obviously.
START AGAIN’s ending requirements are frustrating. They are. When I tried to go for either the Perfect or the True Ending, I saved inside every single room, just so I could get right back to it when I inevitably fucked up five times minimum. This is both criticism… and praise.
Because Loop is the major reason that ISAT does not suffer from this same problem.
Whenever you’re stuck in ISAT, Loop is just a single loop or call away at any times. And besides that, no plot requirement in ISAT demands nearly as many moving pieces all at once as SASASAP does – the “Sus Route” has been relegated to an optional ACT 4 exclusive event, instead of the game’s True Ending.
Instead of consulting an external guide on how to progress, you have one right there in the game, always ready with the next tip. They’re not infallible, mind you – enough time in Isatcord’s #game-help proves that, but Loop solved all of the moments I got stuck and frustrated in ISAT for me.
(Primarily that one time you need to figure out that a photo is similar to being stuck in time. That moment in particular is actually commendable, as you need to ask Loop about it twice before they tell you, leaving you a last shot to try and figure it out on your own.)
Loop is a feature that nullifies SASASAP’s greatest flaw in its successor, and they choose to do so.
Memory of Keys
In my humble opinion, Loop does this because… they do not want Siffrin to suffer as they did. They want Siffrin to escape. And there is no greater example of their kindness than how Loop treats keys.
First of all, all keys in the game have a sparkling effect on them if you’ve picked them up at least once before, making it immediately clear where in the room they are. This means you don’t need to search every single room top to bottom for them, as you had to do for any keys and Star Crests in SASASAP. It’s some nice QoL that just means you don’t have to re-search the same area if you happened to forget which specific cupboard the key was in.
Key point being: SASASAP did not have this feature. In SASASAP, you did have to memorize where all the keys are, and doing so is expected if you want the True Ending.
Loop does not want Siffrin to have to do this. Because…
From SASASAP’s True End:
(The torch in the infirmary? That’s important!)
(The key in the book? Soooo important.)
(The names of your friends, that have been by your side throughout this entire adventure?)
(Not worth remembering.)
Compared to ISAT’s ACT 2:
Siffrin: “How come I can see where the keys are?”
Loop: “Whaaaaat? You caaaaaan? How can that beeeeeee?”
Siffrin: “Is it thanks to you?”
Loop: “Maybe.”
Loop: “I figured you'd have other things to worry about than where a stupid key is.”
Loop: “No need to thank me.”
To Loop, that they memorized the House’s layout over their friends’ names is a defining moment to their own failures. After all, in all likelihood, the True End of SASASAP is the last loop before they called it quits. It’s a traumatic experience from them, one that came from having to remember all the dumb fucking keys.
They do not want Siffrin to experience this. They do not want Siffrin to have to memorize the House, to push away what actually matters in favor of efficiency. So Loop is directly, personally, giving them a boon, so that Siffrin does not have to.
Conclusion
There’s probably more tutorial things I could talk about, but I feel like you’re seeing the pattern now, even if I don’t bring up saving level ups or keeping equipment or the “You’re stuck” signifier, least of all cuz they don’t have direct points of comparison with SASASAP like my other examples do (SASASAP has no changeable equipment, and saving levels doesn’t matter if you only have one floor, and you can’t softlock either.). So.
Loop’s tutorials all belie a fundamental kindness to their character. Everything that made their own experience trapped in the timeloop just that bit worse, they’re choosing to do away with it for Siffrin. They are choosing to make Siffrin’s time here easier.
Zoning out too much lead to them never paying attention to their friends, forgetting their names, so they make sure that Siffrin can still zone back in whenever something new happens.
Loop trapped themself for years on the final floor, locking themself out of progress that might lie further back, so they’re ensuring Siffrin knows exactly how to loop forwards and backwards so it doesn’t happen again.
Loop lets Siffrin keep equipment across loops to cut down on time spent doing the exact same thing over and over.
They are saving Siffrin time, and they are giving Siffrin comfort.
At every single turn, Loop is saving Siffrin from the same pitfalls they fell into without anyone to guide them out.
It's honestly incredible to transform an increase in skill into an actual narrative element. Yes, SASASAP sucks more to play. But ISAT sucks less, because Loop wants it to. It's the perfect marriage of real world circumstance and storytelling. I could... probably pull another comparison here, saying it's like a game and its remake - overhauled graphics, expanded story, and loads and loads of QoL, because the makers of the remake realized something. They love the original, but parts of it do suck, and there's so much that can be done to make a new player's experience smoother. Metanarrative commentary,,,, woah,,,,,
Every single one of these QoL elements I’ve mentioned function as a crutch for a player’s failing memory, but also Siffrin’s (similar to what I talked about in my previous essay on ISAT’s ludonarrative - the player and Siffrin are always in sync, even in how tutorials benefit them). Loop doesn’t know the player exists though (only the Change God does), so they do everything for Siffrin.
To keep Siffrin from forgetting. To help Siffrin focus on what’s important. To make Siffrin’s journey just a little bit less miserable.
Loop directly improves ISAT’s QoL. For you. For Siffrin.
From Loop’s introduction:
Loop: “See, I’m useful! I’m very useful! That’s why I’m here, helpful Loop.”
Siffrin: “Why are you helping me?”
Loop: “…”
Loop: “Because I think you should be helped.”
Loop: “I won’t always have the answers, but… I think having someone on your side to talk to is better than dealing with this alone.”
Loop: “Right?”
From Loop’s hangout:
“But it’s fine.”
“Whether you believe me or not, I’m here to help you.”
“So you can escape this loop.”
And finally, from the start of ACT 3:
Siffrin: “Are you really here to help me?”
Loop: “Stardust…”
Loop: “…”
Loop: “Yes.”
Loop: “If you can believe anything, believe that.”
Loop: “I asked to be here, so I could help you.”
And I do believe them. Loop’s feelings on Siffrin are… complex, to say the least. They love Siffrin, and they hate him in equal measure. They’re jealous, and spiteful, but underneath everything…
In SASASAP, if you die to a Sadness thrice, you get this monologue:
(Sometimes, when you loop back here…)
(In the corner of your eye, you can sometimes see someone that looks just like you.)
(Is it a you from another loop? Remnants of your past failures?)
(Are you going crazy?)
(May they succeed where you cannot.)
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tumblr user 1: you guys should drink more plain water, it's good for you
tumblr user 2: actually you can drink whatever you want all the time
tumblr user 3: yee and water is icky :(
tumblr user 4: I literally can't drink plain water as I'll instantly start throwing up, some people's bodies simply can't process it, you can't make blanket statements about what's good or not good for someone else's digestive system
tumblr user 5: ooouugh.. tony the tiger hairy armpits 😩
i'm going to be completely honest, i don't think completely erasing avid characters from fanworks (and even canon) is the right way to separate yourself from the creator.
yeah, they were an awful person who did more than horrible things, but the character and creator are completely separate now, especially with avid quitting content creation. these characters no longer belong to them, they belong to the fandom.
i've seen talk of replacing v!avid with a collective oc, and i really dont think this is something we can or should force on people. if someone wants to participate in this, i can't and won't stop them, but we should'nt act like this is the correct course of actions.
i've also seen many people try to remove avid from all their fanworks. now, if people are uncomfortable writing them, that's obviously perfectly fine, but i don't want to see ANYONE claiming that anyone else with an avid character in their fanfiction or comics or drawings or whatever supports them. it is a character, not the creator.
do not let the whole avid and marm situation wreck havoc on the queer mcyt community. Them being manipulative has nothing to do with their queerness, and their queerness did not impact their behavior or the results from this behavior.
Their behavior is not a reflection of queer creators or queer people in general.
my improvements to tomodachi life: abolish marriage & monogamy. enable multiple pronouns & add it/its. add a new type of relationship where one person keeps the other as a pet.
thinking about grace chasity again. she's a caricature of the uber-religious so absurdly extreme as to be hilarious. she's a reflection of a genuinely frightening trend in current american culture. she's unkind and bigoted and she's been ground beneath the heel of an ideology that has crushed many young women before her. that ideology has twisted her sense of morality and logic into something unrecognizable by anyone else, a warped reality completely her own. she killed a bully by accident but then she mutilated his corpse because she blames him for the fact that she thinks he's hot. she then had sex with that guy's ghost and they both loved it. she became a supernatural crusader for the cause of chastity and she murders teen boys for the crime of experiencing developmentally appropriate sexual feelings. she does so because she's too scared to face the fact that she herself isn't as chaste and pure as she'd like to be— as she's been taught she has to be, under threat of hell. to enact her holy mission she's made a deal with unholy tricksters from beyond our reality, and she doesn't seem to recognize the hypocrisy. she's a horror, she's a victim, she's a teenage girl. she's an absolute freak both sexually and in terms of sheer bizarre behavior. i love her so much. she genuinely scares me. maybe if she'd been given compassion or an alternative perspective at any point she could've been something else. but i'm not sure i believe that, not really. grace chasity, man.
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"parasocial this parasocial that" the debate is so exhausting. can we be blamed internet culture is like this when we literally instilled this shit in our children. blame mickey. blame Elmo. at the end of an episode, oobi points to the audience and says "oobi, you, friend." I'm not oobis friend. I don't know oobi. I can't be oobi's friend. oobi doesn't fucking know me. oobi is fostering toxic connections between celebrity and audience by encouraging this kind of behavior in his young fanbase. we cant keep letting celebrities get away with this.
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