bonjour, bitches

yes im addicted to attention and orgasms and food and shiny jewlery and 7$ Iced Lattes. does that really not sound like an awesome lifestyle to you

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

you can't even say "get a job" to people anymore because the market is so bad they'll be like ive applied to 400 jobs over the past 6 months

i want to interact with people more but what if they kill me

When my aunt was in her late 20s people used to rudely ask her “Why aren’t you married yet?” and she’d reply “Just lucky, I guess” which I think is one of the best things I have ever heard

makes me feel a little insane when I hear people have missed me. i am impacting your life in such a way that you not only appreciate my presence but notice my absence? and dislike it?? wow

if karl marx was born today he would be a baby. and it would be his birthday

I said something embarrassing they are going to kick me off earth

sorry for being romantic, i‘ll go back to being scared of love. give me a second

"learn to be bored" "being bored is good for you" "be at peace with yourself" NO! 4 SCREENS AT ONCE!!!!!!

girls will literally be crucified and keep living

the idea of a 21 year old being engaged is so scary. stay safe dont do that do yourself