Madness is a place

It’s like 2:40 am right now and I can’t sleep. The past three years have been like a nightmare, I was stuck in a relationship that not only ruined my career, my relationships, my family but also the way I saw myself.

I never in a million years thought that I would stay with someone who had cheated on me, lied to me, took my career away from me and did everything they could to hurt me in a way that made me feel like it was my fault. No matter how much someone changes, no matter how sorry someone is.... even if they become a prince or the knight in shining armour you dreamed of.... these things do not erase what they did. If you can forgive and move on then more power to you. I tried for two years to do just that, in the process I honestly think I damaged myself more.

This year has been a year of things I could never could have seen myself doing twelve months ago. I walked away, it was one of the hardest and yet easiest choices I have ever had to make. I walked away from someone who destroyed me in ways I could never put into words.

I met someone new, it wasn’t something I planned... it wasn’t something I was looking for. This person is everything I need and want and they make is easier to breath again, they gave me so much with doing so little.

All in all .... things do really get better, that first step is scary and it hurts like hell but it gets easier.