Writing is hard

"Why do you never use your wings?"

It was a quiet question, yet the words echoed in Talon's head louder than the loudest thunder.

The demon stiffened, unwanted pictures flooding his mind.

Fire. Hurt. Falling.

Pristine white feathers burning to black.

"I do not trust them anymore," he said just as quiet, eyes fixed on the sky.

Aiden did not utter a word and when Talon finally dared to look at him, he found the angel staring at his own hands, a frown contouring his mellow features.

"But.….“ he mused. „not trusting them is like not trusting yourself."

Aiden looked up and his gaze was so piercing that Talon had to look away.

„Why do you not trust yourself?“

Disbelief and concern lay in his voice. He gripped the demon’s arm, making Talon look back at him.

„I do not trust anyone, least of all myself,“ Talon said, voice hard. He did not like to even think about it, much less to talk of it.

For a moment he thought to see something like hurt flash in the angel‘s eyes. He let go of Talon’s arm.

But Talon, feeling the sharp sting of regret at his friend’s reaction, stopped him before he could pull away fully, resting a hand on top of his.

„Trust is something fragile, Aiden,“ he tried to explain, voice softer than mere seconds ago.

After all, he knew Aiden only meant well. He squeezed the angel’s hand in a silent apology.

„It can be shattered within a heartbeat, but take a lifetime to rebuild. I trusted too much once. My wings, my abilities, him…“

His expression darkened.

„Trust made me careless and arrogant. And my arrogance made me fall.“

Aiden watched the demon with a tilted head, worry painted all over his face, while Talon stared at the darkening sky.

His mind seemed far away, thumb unconsciously stroking over the immaculate skin at the back of Aiden’s hand.

„It is hard to trust the wings that didn’t catch you when you fell.“

Letting go of Aiden’s hand, Talon let his hand wander and ghost over one of the angel‘s wings, pristine like his own used to be.

He felt the strong urge to reach for the feathers, but did not dare to touch them, afraid his touch might taint their flawless white.

He could only imagine how soft they must be.

Aiden’s wings had never let him down.

They were strong and bright and beautiful, much like Aiden himself.

They could carry him to fearless heights, shield him from all sorts of harm and wrap him in their warm embrace.

Aiden found comfort in his wings. For Talon, his were merely a reminder of his shame.

„My wings were much like yours once.“ He smiled, but just barely.

„Before they got burned…” Before his punishment… “they were magnificent and steady. Not like they are now.“

The expression with that Aiden watched him was unreadable to the demon.

„They still are,“ he said after a while, voice full of emotions Talon couldn’t name.

„They’re still strong. And they’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. They’re just like you.“

He reached out, but stopped right before his fingers grazed the black feathers of Talon’s wings. Talon thought that his heart might burst.

„May I?“ Aiden asked carefully.

Talon bit his lip, flustered, but nodded. It had been an eternity since he let anyone touch his wings. Lucifer has been the last one. Talon still remembered the flaming pain of his touch.

He expected the same sharp hurt as Aiden reached out again, hand carefully stroking over feathers black as coal. But it never came.

Instead, a pleasant warmth flooded his wings and it felt so good he found himself all but leaning into the touch.

Aiden’s touch was so different from Lucifer’s.

Gentle and warm like the light of a candle, where Lucifer’s has been burning and hot like a forest fire.

Talon closed his eyes, tears threatening to fall with how nice it felt to be touched like this.

“It was horrible what happened to you.” Aiden said after a moment of silence.

The demon shook his head, eyes still closed. “It was my own fault.”

“It was horrible regardless. And I am sorry. For everything.

For what happened to your wings, what made you lose your trust. For what he did to you after you gave everything to him. And for how we let you down when you would’ve needed us the most.”

The sincerity of the angels words and the soothing feeling of Aiden’s hand caressing his wings as if they were something precious, something worth of adoration, stirred something deep inside of Talon and suddenly, against his best attempts, the tears finally fell.

With his tears came the rain, as if the sky, too, finally let go of its restraint.

As if it told him that it was alright to let his guard down.

And so he cried, head resting on Aiden’s shoulder and Aiden let him, his warm presence beside him offering a silent comfort.

The rain poured down on them like it tried to drown all the world’s sorrow and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, Talon lifted his wings to shield himself - and the angel beside him - from the falling rain.

Not quite a sign of regained trust, but a first step.

A leap of faith.

♡

psst, you can find a masterpost to this AU here

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