Anjay the Nope

Ever since I was a little boy I knew I needed to be deeply ashamed of my desires wants and of course also needs

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

the procrastinator’s mind will invent distractions you’ve never conceived of in order to avoid tasks even a dog could do.

Does anyone know what to do

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

well other than that mrs. kennedy how was the drive

For this game of dodgeball, I will be specifically targeting the gayest and most autistic among you to eliminate. 

Okay so normal rules then

Send help I’ve been laughing for 15 minutes the internet killed my sense of humor

I was expecting exactly that and was not disappointed

Your 30s aren't too late. Don't let nobody tell you that stupid shit.

Your 40s aren't too late. Don't let nobody tell you that stupid shit.

#as long as you're alive it's literally never too late

Son, your mother and I are unfollowing each other

public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time

“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.

One of worst things copaganda ever perpetuated is the rhetoric that if you aren't guilty of breaking the law, you shouldn't value your personal privacy against the state's surveillance and interrogation. That only guilty people hire lawyers when talking to police.

this reads like it was submitted to a local newspaper in the early 1900s

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

pride month is almost over I would just like to say happy pride to boring LGBTQ people in particular. everyone expects us to be brilliant creatives and scientists and interior decorators and quirky professors and tortured artists but some of us wear nothing but Kirkland Signature clothing and watch Friends and The Office and are incapable of having an interesting conversation and that is okay. our diversity is our strength.

talking to a very boring LGBTQ person once in a while is so refreshing, you’re like “Whoa! You’re so average and normal! You’re like a coworker at an office job! The only thing we have in common is our LGBTQ identity and that is beautiful!”

“They tell us we’re born to suffer but you were obviously born to maintain the lawn outside of your suburban home. Very sweet.”