A Collection Of Nonsense

John "Soap" MacTavish Low Affinity: "You again?" He raises an eyebrow. "You got a thing for dying in this area or just bored?" Gives you a potion with a smirk. "Don't get used to it." Mid Affinity: "Oh hey, it's my favorite reckless player." He gives you a side-eye and tosses you a weapon upgrade." Don't say I never do anything for you." His dialogue options now include "Tease" and "Invite to co-op mission." High Affinity. He shows up unprompted in your base camp with a grin. "Miss me? I set your warp point to my cabin. Hope that's alright" New dialogue unlocked:" Confess" and "Hold Hands (aggressively)." He blushes when you pick it. "Oi! Warn a man next time!"

Simon "Ghost" Riley Low Affinity: You talk a lot for someone who hasn't unlocked my side quest." He arms-crosses and stares until you leave. The affection meter barely moves. Mid Affinity: He starts responding in longer sentences. "That grenade you threw? Sloppy. But... it worked." He starts walking closer in cutscenes. Occasionally glances at your character, then looks away fast. High Affinity: He appears mid-battle just to save your ass. "You alright?" He tosses you his mask to wear for a joke." Fits you better than me." If you choose "Flirt", he types out a message: You're important. Real, or not. New CG unlocked: him patching you up by firelight, mask off.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Low Affinity: "Oi, you looking for the quest marker or just lost?" Gives you directions. Won't fight with you yet. He literally waves you off. Mid Affinity: "Oh, look who's back. Can't stay away, huh?" He starts calling you "rookie" affectionately. Offers you an optional side quest: "Race Gaz through the rooftops." High Affinity: He challenges you to spar-cutscene ends in him pulling you close after you trip. "Not bad, but I'm still faster." If you select "Hold," he doesn't move away.He adds, "If this game had a co-op romance mode... I'd pick you." New outfit unlocked: matching stealth gear.

John Price Low Affinity: "You're new." He barely looks up from his map." Come back when you know how to hold a rifle properly." Mid Affinity: "Well look who's surviving better." He shares a cigar with you at the campfire. You unlock the dialogue:" Aşk about his past." He actually answers. High Affinity: He touches your face in a cutscene. "Funny, this started as a mission." If you flirt, he smiles-"Takes guts to charm a grizzled old man." Ends the level with him standing next to your tent, saying, "Don't wander too far. I sleep better knowing you're nearby."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Low Affinity: You wave-he gives a thumbs up. That's it. He only speaks in emojis and vague grunts for now. Mid Affinity: He starts giving you handmade items: a better scope, a weird plush. During missions, he sticks "Roach likes you." closer. You get a little icon: High Affinity: He sends you secret messages like "u looked cool during that boss fight:)" Then he appears with a rare bunny pet and says, "This is yours now." If you flirt, he turns red but types, "...do u wanna date me in the next update?" YES/NO options appear. You click YES.

Nikolai Low Affinity: He greets you like a customer, not a companion. "Ah, traveler! Need ammo? Supplies? Directions away from my helicopter?" He laughs loudly but clearly expects you to leave quickly. He only gives you the cheapest gear-very begrudgingly. Mid Affinity: "Back so soon?" he smirks. "You must enjoy my charm." He gives you a discount nobody else gets. Offers a special side quest Fly with Nikolai across restricted zones. He hums Russian songs in your cutscenes. "You? I trust. A little." High Affinity: He starts appearing whenever you fast travel. "I sensed you needed me." He upgrades your weapons for free, leaning close as he adjusts the strap. "My friend... no, my favorite. Stay alive for me." You unlock a CG of him carrying you into his helicopter, whispering, "If I could rewrite this code, F'd keep you with me forever."

Alejandro Vargas Low Affinity: "Hola, rookie." He gives a charming smile but keeps distance. "You want to join a mission? Earn it first." His approval rises slightly when you impress him in combat- but he never shows it. Mid Affinity: He starts lingering near your character at camp. "You've got heart. I like that." He touches your shoulder in cutscenes and offers an optional quest Train With Alejandro. He teases often-"Try to keep up, cariño" but it 's warm, not mocking. High Affinity: He shows up in a pre-mission CG, brushing a strand of hair from your face. "You fight beautifully," he murmurs. If you pick the flirt option, he smirks deeply. "If this were more than code, T'd kiss you right now." He unlocks the Romantic Ending Route, where he confesses: "You're the only partner I want. In every mission. Every lifetime."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Low Affinity: He's polite, quiet. "Hola. Need something?" He gives strictly professional advice and bows his head respectfully. No teasing, no warmth-just kindness from a distance. Mid Affinity: He starts watching your battles more closely. "You're improving... I'm proud." He gives you rare healing items he "found." Unlocks optional side quest Cook With Rudy. He blushes when you praise him, saying softly, "I'm... glad you're here." High Affinity: He starts greeting you with a smile visible in his eyes. In a CG, he gently holds your hand, thumb brushing your knuckles. "I thought NPCs couldn't feel," he whispers. "But around you... I do." You unlock "Kiss Rudy" as a dialogue option. If selected, he whispers, "I'll stay with you until the game ends... and beyond."

Valeria Garza Low Affinity: She looks you up and down. "A new player? Try not to die. 'It makes my job harder." She gives you low-effort quests and smirks whenever you fail. Affection barely moves. Mid Affinity: "You again," she purrs. "Good. I like consistency." She gives you dangerous missions but rewards you with rare gear. Sometimes she steps too close during cutscenes, smiling. "Don't get attached. Yet." High Affinity: Her voice drops when you approach. "Mi cielo... come here. She wraps an arm around you in a CC, whispering at your ear, "I've killed characters for less, but you? I'd rewrite the whole story to keep you." She unlocks the Possessive Romance Route, ending with her saying, "If this world ends, I'm taking you with me."

Keegan Russ Low Affinity: He barely acknowledges you. "Stay out of my line of fire." He gives dry instructions and ends conversations fast. He won't let you join stealth missions. Mid Affinity: "You don't annoy me as much anymore," he says. This is a compliment. He gives you silencers and teaches you ambush mechanics. Occasionally smirks when you impress him. "Not bad." High Affinity: He corners your character in a cutscene, lifting your chin. "You've grown on me." His voice softens-rare, intimate. "I watch your back because I want to." You unlock the CG Keegan removing his mask just for you. Dialogue option: "Touch his face." He leans into your hand. "Good. Don't stop." König Low Affinity: He hides behind his hood, mumbling, "Hi..." If you choose certain dialogue options, he stutters and flees cutscenes early. You barely get any affection. Mid Affinity: He approaches you slowly. "You... came back." He gives you a handmade charm for your weapon. During stealth missions, he follows you closely, whispering, "Careful... I don't want you hurt." He blushes in every scene. High Affinity: You unlock a CG where he kneels to your height, Lifting his hood slightly. "For you," he whispers, revealing his eyes. If you choose "Hug König," he lifts you off the ground in a crushing embrace. "You make my heart glitch," he murmurs. He will now appear in battles unprompted to protect you. Nikto Low Affinity: He watches you like a threat. "Stay out of my way. "His dialogue is curt, dismissive. He only acknowledges you when necessary. Mid Affinity: He begins to respect you. "You learn fast." He gives you rare suppressors and armor. Occasionally, his tone softens-only slightly." Don't die. I hate wasted potential." High Affinity: You get a dark, intimate CG of him cornering you against a wall. "You're the only player worth my time." If you flirt, he smirks. "Careful. I don't do affection halfway." He lowers his mask just for you, murmuring, "If this world resets.... I'll find you again."

Krueger Low Affinity: He stands in the shadows. "You're inefficient." He critiques everything. Zero warmth, zero praise. Mid Affinity: He grows fascinated. "You adapt. Good." He teaches you brutal combat techniques and walks close behind you during missions. Teasing begins. "Try not to disappoint." High Affinity: You unlock a CG where he stands behind you, breathing against your ear. "You survived long enough to impress me." He rests a gloved hand on your neck. "If I were programmed to love, it would be you." Dialogue option: "Lean back into him." He exhales softly. "Good choice."

Philip Graves Low Affinity: "Well hey there, rookie." Fake smile. Zero sincerity. He 'overcharges you for gear and keeps calling you "kid." Mid Affinity: "Alright, alright, you're growin' on me." He starts giving you discounts. Jokes more. Flirts lightly:"Keep Lookin' at me like that and I'll give you premium gear for free." High Affinity: Cutscene: he traps you between his jeep and the railing. "Darlin', you've got me wrapped around your little cursor." If you choose "Flirt back," he tips your chin up. "Careful now. I might just make you my endgame." Unlock: Ride With Graves special route.

Farah Karim Low Affinity: She's professional, distant. "Stay focused." She only gives tutorial-level guidance. Mid Affinity: "You fight well beside me." Her voice softens. She shares her history in optional dialogue. Gives you unique tactical gear she designed. High Affinity: Cutscene unlock: She touches your cheek gently. "You've become more than a comrade." If you choose "Kiss," she pulls you into her arms. "I don't fall easily... but I've fallen for you. "New ending route unlocked.

Hadir Karim Low Affinity: He distrusts you. "Why should I work with you?" He barely gives you quests. Mid Affinity: He warms slowly. "You're.... different." He shares secrets. Protects you in missions. High Affinity: Cutscene: he pulls you into the shadows, gripping your waist. "You're the only one I'd rewrite my fate for." His forehead rests against yours. "Say the word, and I'm yours." Unlock: Forbidden Romance Route.

Alex Keller Low Affinity: Friendly but distant. "Hey! Need help?" He treats you like any player. Mid Affinity: He laughs more with you. "You make the missions more fun." Gives you custom gear labeled with your initials. High Affinity: CG unlock: sunset scene where he takes your hands. "I like you. A lot." If you flirt, he blushes. "Guess I'm yours now." Unlock:Shared Future Ending.

Kate Laswell Low Affinity: Professional. Efficient. "State your objective." Barely looks at you. Mid Affinity: She smiles more. "You're competent.I appreciate that." Shares restricted intel with you-"don't tell anyone." High Affinity: Cutscene: late-night office, she hands you coffee. "You've become important to me." If you flirt, she smirks. "I was hoping you'd say that." Unlock: Secret Romance Route.

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap shouts it across the living room while your two teens argue over who stole whose headphones: "Oi! If you two don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child!" Both kids freeze in horror, instantly yelling "DAD. NO." You're in the doorway, mortified and laughing as he immediately pivots toward you with a shameless wink. "C'mon, lass, gimme a smile- we can make 'em a sibling tonight." You throw a pillow at him, but he dramatically dodges and slides next to you on the couch, draping an arm around your shoulders. "What? I'm just reminding them how irresistible you are." The kids flee, screaming. Soap looks proud.

Simon “Ghost” Riley Ghost rarely raises his voice-which is why the teens instantly shut up when he growls, Right. Enough. If you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." Both kids stare at him Like he's summoned a demon. Then, without hesitating, he turns fully toward you, slowly lifting his mask just enough to show a smirk. "What do you say, love? Fancy givin' me another?" You nearly choke. The kids scream, "STOP-WE'RE SO SORRY-WE'LL BE GOOD." Ghost casually slides an arm around your waist, murmuring in your ear, "Look at" em run. Parenting's easy." You smack his chest, blushing. He looks far too satisfied.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz is in full exasperated dad mode as the teenagers bicker nonstop. Finally, he claps his hands once. "Oi! If you two don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child!" They freeze, eyes wide. You gape at him. He grins like a menace and saunters toward you, leaning one arm on the wall like he's doing a cheesy rom-com scene. "Babe, you know I always have time to make another mini-you." The kids immediately shriek and start cleaning the kitchen to avoid hearing more. Gaz kisses your cheek with exaggerated charm, whispering, "See? Works every time." You elbow him, but you're laughing too hard to stay mad.

John Price The kids are arguing loud enough to rattle the windows when Price finally snaps. "Enough. One more word and I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." Both teens stop mid- yell, stunned. You whip your head toward him, scandalized. He just raises one eyebrow and strolls over to you like he's got all the confidence in the world. "What?" he murmurs, cupping your jaw. "Might be nice to practice again." You smack his arm while the kids scream bloody murder and run to their rooms. Price chuckles low, his hand lingering on your hip. "Amazing how that works," he mutters, kissing your temple. "Still got it."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach, the usually quiet one, finally loses patience when the teens start throwing couch cushions. He stands on the coffee table for dramatic effect and declares loudly, "If you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child!" You nearly drop your drink. The kids' souls leave their bodies. Roach hops down and immediately turns to you with the goofiest, flirtiest grin, finger- guns blazing. "Hey, gorgeous, wanna help me teach them a lesson?" The kids SCREAM and cover their ears. You bury your face in your hands as he wraps an arm around you triumphantly. Later, he whispers, "We should use that more." You throw a pillow at him.

Nikolai Nikolai watches the two teens arguing in Russian and English like it's an Olympic sport. Finally, he booms, "ENOUGH! If you do not stop misbehaving, I will start hitting on mom and get another child!" Both kids freeze like statues. You gasp his name, horrified. He immediately swivels toward you, eyes sparkling with mischief, and drops into a dramatic romantic bow. "My zvezda... I am ready anytime." One child actually screams into a pillow. The other flees upstairs yelling DON'T WANT A SIBLING." Nikolai simply pulls you into his arms, laughing. "See? Fear is effective parenting." You smack him, blushing. He kisses your forehead anyway.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro slams a book on the table to get the teens' attention. "Ya basta. If you don't stop misbehaving, I'm going to start hitting on mom and get another child." The room goes silent. You mutter, "Alejandro-NO." But he's already turning toward you with full telenovela intensity, grabbing your hand dramatically. "Mi vida, your beauty inspires me to create life once more." The kids SCREAM in terror, apologizing for every wrongdoing since birth. Alejandro winks at you, pulling you closer by the waist. "Mira, they learned." You bury your face in his chest while he laughs triumphantly. "We are incredible parents, cariño."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy rarely raises his voice, but when the kids start bickering again, he exhales slowly and says with quiet threat: "If you two don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." You freeze. The kids freeze. Rudy then turns to you with the softest, deadliest smirk, gently taking your hand. "Mi amor... if you're up for it, of course." The teens collectively scream, "N0000000," and sprint away like they're being chased. Rudy bursts into gentle laughter and wraps his arms around you, hiding his face in your shoulder. "It works every time," he whispers, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

Valeria Garza Valeria slams her knife into the cutting board, silencing the teens immediately. "Enough. If you keep misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." Everyone freezes. You stare at her. The kids look traumatized. Valeria slowly turns toward you, eyes dark with playful intention. She grabs your chin between her fingers. "What do you say, cariño? Want to give them a sibling?" The teens scream, "WE'RE SORRY," and vanish from the kitchen. Valeria smirks, kisses your forehead, and murmurs, Parenting is about psychological warfare." You shove her shoulder, blushing. She laughs softly. "Don't pretend you didn't like the attention."

Keegan Russ Keegan waits until the teens are arguing themselves breathless before stepping in with the calmest threat ever: "If you don't stop misbehaving, I'm going to start hitting on mom and get another child." You choke on air. The kids recoil like vampires from sunlight. Keegan then slides an arm around your waist, leaning down to murmur loudly enough for them to hear, "I mean... I wouldn't mind expanding the family." The kids scream and flee upstairs. You swat his chest." KEEGAN." He just smirks. "What? I solved the problem." You try not to laugh as he kisses your cheek smugly.

König König claps his massive hands once, instantly silencing the teenagers. "Enough. If you don't stop misbehaving, I will start hitting on mom and get another child." The kids recoil like he threw a grenade. You gape at him, speechless. König-sweet, awkward, Measily flustered König-turns toward you with a shy but fiery look, gently tucking your hair behind your ear. "I mean... if you would like that," he says in a low rumble. The kids SHRIEK and run upstairs. König blushes crimson but beams with pride. "Look, Schatz! It worked!" You bury your face in your hands as he hugs you tightly.

Nikto Nikto doesn't even raise his voice he just speaks with cold authority. "If you two don't stop misbehaving," he says, "I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." Everyone freezes, including you. Then he turns to you with a slow, dangerous smile, brushing a thumb over your cheek. "It wouldn't be difficult. I am very motivated." The teenagers scream like they've seen a demon and sprint out of the room. Nikto laughs quietly, the sound low and satisfied. He pulls you closer. "They fear us. Good." You shove him lightly, face burning, but he only smirks. "What? I was flirting."

Krueger When the kids start shouting again, Krueger simply sighs and says in the calmest, most terrifying voice, "If you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." The teens go ghost- white. You blink in horror. Krueger then turns toward you with a tilt of his head and murmurs, "Shall we demonstrate?" The kids SHRIEK so loudly the neighbors probably hear. You smack his arm immediately." KRUEGER!" He chuckles darkly, pulling you into his side. "What? They stopped." He presses a kiss to your head. "Fear is an excellent parenting tool."

Philip Graves Graves leans against the counter watching the teens yell at each other until he finally snaps. "Alright, you little gremlins-keep it up and I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." Both kids freeze. You sputter. Graves immediately straightens, adjusting his belt like he's about to star in a country music video, then struts toward you." Whaddaya think, darlin'? Wanna help me prove a point?" You shove him while the kids SCREAM and bolt down the hallway yelling" STOPPP NO MORE SIBLINGS!" Graves laughs so hard he has to lean on the counter. "Parenting win, sweetheart."

Farah Karim Farah slams her book shut when the teenagers start bickering for the fifth time that evening. "Enough! One more word and I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." The kids freeze mid-argument. You stare at her like she's malfunctioned. Farah then walks toward you with a perfectly calm smile, trailing her fingers along your arm. "What do you think?" she asks sweetly. "Should we teach them a lesson?" The teens SHRIEK and sprint upstairs like their lives depend on it. You turn bright red. Farah kisses your cheek softly. "Look at that," she whispers. "Peace at last."

Hadir Karim Hadir Loses patience faster than anyone. ÉNOUGH," he snaps. "If you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." The kids stop mid- fight. You fold your arms, mortified. Hadir smirks and immediately turns toward you, tilting your chin up with one finger. What do you say, habibti? Want to make them regret being loud?" The kids scream "BYE!" and run upstairs. You shove him, face crimson. He laughs, wrapping his arms around you. "It works every time," he whispers. "Fear is a powerful motivator."

Alex Keller Alex tries being patient. Really tries. But when the teens start arguing again, he sighs and says, "Alright, last warning: if you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child." The kids instantly recoil. You gape at him. Alex grins mischievously and walks toward you, sliding an arm around your waist. "What? It's not like I don't enjoy flirting with you." The teens scream, run upstairs, and slam their doors. Alex laughs, leaning his forehead against yours. "Wouldn't actually mind another kid someday," he whispers softly. You blush and shove him lightly as he kisses your cheek.

Kate Laswell Laswell rarely bluffs, so when she says, "If you don't stop misbehaving, I'll start hitting on mom and get another child," the teenagers go dead silent. You choke on air. Laswell closes her laptop and calmly walks to you, sliding an arm around your waist with quiet confidence. "You know I could," she murmurs, smirking just enough to make the kids scream and bolt from the room. The moment they're gone, she laughs under her breath, kissing your cheek. "Effective, isn't it?" You're still bright red. She squeezes your hip. "Relax. I was half- joking." Half.

John "Soap" MacTavish You're giggling into the floor when Soap finds you, halfway tangled in your hoodie, one sock missing, and earnestly trying to high-five the coat rack. "Alright, love, that's enough chaos for tonight." He scoops you up like you're weightless. "To bed you go-wait, are you licking my arm?" You just grin and mumble, "Tastes like Scotland." He wheezes." You're outta your mind." You pat his cheek." You're pretty." He carries you bridal-style while dodging your flailing limbs, finally flopping you into bed and tucking the blanket around your head like a burrito." Sleep, ya lunatic. You can flirt with furniture tomorrow."

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost finds you face-down on the couch with a slice of bread in one hand and your phone in the other, whispering to Siri about existential penguins. "Alright," he sighs, "let 's get you to bed." You squint at him. "Why is your mask talking?" He blinks. "Because I'm a person wearing it." "LIES," you shout. He grits his teeth. "Okay. Bed. Now." You try to crawl under the coffee table and declare it your fortress. Eventually, he picks you up over his shoulder while you sing the Blue's Clues theme song at top volume. He doesn't say a word just sets you down, tucks you in, and mutters, "You're lucky you're cute.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz finds you lying on the kitchen floor with sunglasses on, talking to the fridge. "Oi. What are you doing?" "Debating politics with Milk. He's expired." "Right," he sighs." Bedtime, love." You gasp. "NO! I'm starting a movement!" He crouches down. "Babe, I love you, but if you don't get up, I'm carrying you like a sack of potatoes." You try to crawl away chanting, "I AM MILK!" He's true to his word-hauls you over his shoulder while you laugh hysterically and pretend you're on a rollercoaster. He plops you in bed, pulls the covers up, and kisses your forehead. "Sweet dreams, my expired dairy product."

John Price You're sitting on the floor next to the bed, holding a sock like it's a microphone and slurring a speech about loyalty and toast. Price leans on the doorframe, arms crossed, trying not to laugh. "You alright there, sunshine?" You look up dramatically." Captain. We lost some good toast tonight."" Okay," he chuckles, helping you up, "time to call it a night." You try to salute but smack yourself in the face. He gently guides you under the blankets, tucking you in like a sleepy toddler. "You can debrief me about breakfast in the morning." You whisper, "I loved that toast" He just pats your head.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach finds you on the floor, half-draped in a curtain, whispering, "Shhh...I'm blending with the furniture." He tilts his head. "Y/N, babe... are you okay?" "I'm a sofa ghost." He laughs so hard he nearly joins you on the floor. "C'mon, ghosty. Bedtime." You start crawling but get distracted halfway by the carpet. "It's so... furry." He helps you up, dodging your attempts to pet his hair. "This is a kidnapping," you mumble as he carries you to bed. "Yep. You've been abducted by the sleep police." He tucks you in and you whisper, "Tell the curtains I said bye."

Nikolai You're singing off-key in the hallway when Nikolai finds you, arms spread like you're on a Broadway stage. "Welcome, my darling tsar," you slur dramatically.He claps. "Encore, encore! But after sleep, da?" "Never!" you shout, then immediately fall over. He laughs, scooping you up effortlessly. "You are like drunk kitten- very loud, very soft." You cling to him." Your beard is warm." "Yes, and it stays on my face. In bed with you now." You protest weakly, still reciting poetry into his neck as he lays you down. "Shh," he whispers, covering you with the blanket. "You can perform your opera tomorrow."

Alejandro Vargas You're trying to dance in the kitchen but keep swaying like a malfunctioning wacky inflatable tube man. Alejandro stands there watching, both horrified and deeply camused. "Mi amor, how many drinks did you have?" "Enough to taste sound," you reply solemnly. He chuckles. "Come, let's get you to bed before you interpretive dance through a window." You twirl dramatically into a wall. He catches you before you slide down. "Ay dios mío." He practically carries you, giggling and flopping in his arms, to the bedroom. "You're so pretty," you sigh. He kisses your forehead. "You're drunk. But I'll take it."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy finds you hugging the fridge and sobbing. "Why are you crying?" "Because... the fridge never hugs back." He kneels beside you, gently prying your arms away. "How about I give you a hug instead?" You nod furiously, immediately latching onto him like a koala. He chuckles. "You're adorable when you're drunk. Unhinged, but adorable." You babble nonsense into his shoulder while he walks you to bed, tucks you in, and gives you a glass of water. "You're not gonna remember any of this, are you?" You reply, "Depends... is the fridge okay?"

Valeria Garza You are standing on the coffee table screaming, "I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!" when Valeria walks in. She stares for a beat. "Get down." "I have claimed this territory!"" GET. DOWN." You fall off the table-she catches you like it's a regular Tuesday." Drunk again, mi vida?" "I'm fine," you say while poking her nose. "You smell like revenge." "You smell like tequila and shame," she retorts, dragging you to the bedroom. You cling to her dramatically. "If I die, tell the couch I loved him." She rolls her eyes and dumps you into bed. "Tell him yourself tomorrow."

Keegan Russ Keegan walks in to find you wrapped in a blanket, spinning slowly like a human burrito, muttering, "I am the moon." "Oh no," he mutters, "not again." You reach out a single arm. "Take me to my galaxy." "Your galaxy's the bed, sweetheart." He lifts you like luggage, blanket and all," Stop squirming, you'll unravel" You look up at him with glazed eyes. "I would fight a goose for you." He snorts. "That's the nicest thing you've ever said." You fall asleep mid-sentence. He tucks the rest of the blanket around you. "Sleep well, my space burrito."

König You are crouched behind the couch whispering, "Don't let the ceiling fans see me." König walks in, sees your sockless feet sticking out, and sighs lovingly." Schatz..." You pop up like a meerkat. "They KNOW!" He blinks. "Who?" "THE FANS!" He carefully approaches like you're a wild animal "Okay. Let's go to bed, ja?" You immediately latch onto him, legs around his waist, giggling. "You're like a tree!" He carries you, red in the face, as you whisper conspiracies about sentient furniture. He tucks you in, kisses your forehead, and softly says, "No more fan talk, please."

Nikto Nikto finds you upside-down on the couch, reciting Shakespeare at the TV. "Are you possessed?" "Possessed by DRINK!" you shout. "That's obvious." He sighs, approaching you like a handler approaching a very drunk tiger. You try to somersault off the couch he catches you mid-flop. "Bed. Now." You throw your arms around him dramatically. "I knew you'd come for me, mysterious stranger." "I live here," he deadpans. You snore into his shoulder. "Tragic," he mutters. He sets you down, pulls the blanket over you, and whispers, "Next time, I'm hiding the vodka."

Krueger You're standing in the corner of the room, staring at the wall and muttering, "This wall knows things." Krueger enters, pauses, and slowly walks toward you. Why are you talking to plaster?" "She understands me," you whisper. He exhales. "Time for bed." You whirl around dramatically. "You'll never silence us!"" Us?" "Me and the wall" "...Right." He hoists you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You thump your fists against his (back, giggling. "You can't arrest me!" He sets you down in bed, tucks you in, and places a pillow beside you. "There. Your wall friend can sleep too."

Philip Graves Graves finds you in the bathtub. Empty. Dry. Fully clothed. "Sweetheart... why?"" I'm hiding from the government," you slur. He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I am the government, babe." "Shhh," you whisper, "they're listening." "Oh my god. "He lifts you out like a wet cat, even though you're not wet. "You smell like whiskey and fear." You try to kiss his cheek and miss. "You smell like-like- Texas." He snorts. "I'll take it." He tucks you in and kisses your forehead. "We'll debrief tomorrow, Agent Whiskey."

Farah Karim Farah finds you singing to your own hand. "...Are you serenading your thumb?" "He's shy," you whisper.She sighs and kneels in front of you. "Y/N. Bed. Now." "But he's gonna think I don't love him ""I'll tell him you do." She guides you to the bedroom like she's handling explosives. You dramatically collapse onto the mattress like a Victorian ghost. "I'm dead. Bury me with my thumb." She smirks, tucking you in gently. "I'll bury you with a bottle of water and aspirin."

Hadir Karim Hadir walks in and immediately freezes. You are lying face-down on the carpet whispering, "I live here now. ""Y/N..." "Shh. The floor speaks." "No, it doesn't." "YES IT DOES." He sighs deeply. "You can commune with the floor from the bed." "You're jealous of our connection." "I will carry you there myself." And he does. You cling to him dramatically, crying, "Promise me you Il feed the floor." "Absolutely not," he deadpans, dropping you onto the bed. "Sleep now. Floor later."

Alex Keller Alex walks in, takes one look at you wearing his hoodie backwards and sunglasses at midnight, and just sighs." You alright there, sunshine?" "I am the Night Owl King," you slur. "Bow before me." "Oh we're doing this," he mutters, already moving to scoop you up. "DON'T TOUCH THE CROWN!" you yell, holding a spatula. "Noted. Royalty needs rest.” He dumps you in bed, takes the spatula, and gently sets it beside you like it's a holy relic. "Sleep tight, Your Majesty."

Kate Laswell You're in the living room trying to connect Bluetooth to your shoe when Laswell walks in. She raises an eyebrow. "You drunk?" "I'm upgrading my foot."" Right Time for bed." "But I'm making calls!" "No one's answering." "They're cowards." She chuckles, guiding you to bed. "You're going to regret this tomorrow." "I regret nothing!" you shout as she tucks you in. "Except the cranberry vodka." "And your Bluetooth foot.""Maybe that too."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap's Doberman, Rambo, is a sleek, muscular beast who obeys military hand signals and stares down armored vehicles. So when you waltz in holding a squealing pink piglet in a tutu named "Princess Pickle," he nearly drops his drink. "What is that?" "She was cold," you say, wrapping the pig in a baby blanket. Rambo sniffs once, turns away like he's been insulted. Soap watches as the piglet pees on his tactical boot. By nightfall, Princess Pickle is sleeping on his chest while he scrolls through Etsy, muttering," Maybe a matching tiara." You catch him whispering, "C'mon, bite Daddy's enemies."

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost has a Belgian Malinois named Reaper. Jet-black, scarred, and trained to rip throats on command. So when you arrive with a duckling in a sock named " Chirpy," he goes still. Is it a decoy?" "No. She's mine." Reaper snorts. The duck waddles under Ghost's skull mask and chirps. He stiffens. Chirps again. By morning, Reaper's leash has a second loop. Ghost mutters something about "unit cohesion." When you find him sewing a tiny tactical vest for Chirpy, he denies it. "I'm not soft," he growls. The duck sneezes. Ghost sneezes too. You don't say a word.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz's cat, Bullet, is silent, regal, and has never been touched by a single spec of dirt. When you show up with a scruffy, lopsided opossum missing a chunk of ear named "Shiv," Gaz stares. "Where did you find this thing?" Under a dumpster." "Of course you did." Bullet arches her back like she's witnessing a crime. Shiv hisses at nothing. You beam. Days later, Gaz is hand-feeding Shiv grapes and referring to him as "the little war criminal" He tries to hide it when he builds a cardboard fort labeled "Shiv's Killzone." You smirk. He's in so deep.

John Price Price's British Shorthair, Churchill, is older than sin and judges all from his velvet pillow throne. You stroll in with a drooling bulldog puppy with one ear and two brain cells. "Meet Jellybean." Price's cigar nearly drops. Churchill emits a sound that can only be described as aristocratic disdain. Jellybean barfs. You grin. By nightfall, Churchill is still refusing to acknowledge Jellybean's existence while Price is sternly lecturing the puppy about protocol. The next morning, you catch him cradling Jellybean like a baby. "I'm not attached," he growls, while Jellybean sucks on his sleeve.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach's ferret, Turbo, is chaotic, violent, and thinks all wires are chew toys. You bring home a white Angora rabbit named Mooncake, wearing a flower crown. Roach blinks in horror as Turbo starts vibrating with rage. You coo at Mooncake, who is completely unbothered. Turbo attacks a houseplant. You blink. "Sibling rivalry." Roach builds a bunk bed in a shoebox. Mooncake gets the top. Turbo sulks. Eventually, he's sewing matching sweaters for them and signs "family" while proudly holding them both You catch him whispering bedtime stories to them. You never let him forget it.

Nikolai Nikolai's hawk, Sokol, is deadly grace with wings a sleek predator that hunts on command and Lands on his shoulder like a ghost. So when you show up with a squeaky orange goldfish in a plastic bowl named "Beans," he stares like you've brought home cursed magic. It's smiling," he murmurs. "It's Beans," you insist. Sokol glares at the bowl Beans blubs. By the end of the week, Nikolai is gently pouring filtered spring water into the tank while humming a Russian lullaby. You catch him once, whispering, "Fly, little warrior," as Beans swims in circles. He doesn't know how fish work. But he's in love.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro's German Shepherd, Diablo, is every inch a trained soldier. Stoic Fearless. Loyal Then you arrive with a rescue kitten in a sweater that says "Meowdy." Alejandro blinks. "This... is your choice?" "Her name's Tamalito." Diablo growls. Tamalito sneezes glitter. Alejandro scoffs-but three hours later, she's in his lap during a strategy meeting, batting at his rank pins. He pretends he hates it. You find him designing a mini tactical vest embroidered with Comandante Tamalito. When she rides Diablo like a battle steed, Alejandro just says, "She's fearless. Like her owner." You melt on the spot.

Rodolfo “Rudy" Parra Rudy's parrot, Azul, is an ex-cartel messenger bird trained to curse in four languages. You bring home a trembling baby hedgehog named "Peach," wrapped in a sock. Azul screeches. Peach sneezes. Rudy watches in horrified silence. "She's soft," you whisper. "She's defenseless." Peach sneezes again. By the end of the week, Rudy's hand-feeding her diced fruit with tweezers. He builds her a custom enclosure that looks like a jungle resort. Azul is furious. You catch him whispering, "Mi hija preciosa," while Peach snuggles in his palm. Azul throws a seed bowl You're too busy melting to stop it.

Valeria Garza Valeria's snakes are long, silent, and named after infamous assassins. So when you burst in with a trembling Pomeranian in a tutu called "Glitterbomb," she almost shoots you. "Absolutely not." You place Glitterbomb on the marble floor. The snakes immediately slither away. Valeria points. "That? Is a squeaky chew toy with anxiety." But later that night, you find her cradling Glitterbomb like an infant, scrolling through rhinestone collars on her phone. "She deserves options," she says. Glitterbomb yips. Valeria coos. The snakes move out of the bedroom. Valeria orders them their own terrarium-witha Sign: No Divas Allowed."

Keegan Russ Keegan's military dog, Ranger, is a PTSD service animal with steel nerves and sharper instincts. So when you bring home a blind, one-legged cockatoo named "Mr. Sprinkles," he thinks you're joking. You're not. Keegan stares as Sprinkles falls off his perch and lands on Ranger. Ranger sighs. Mr.Sprinkles squawks. Somehow, it works. Days later, Keegan builds a sidecar for Sprinkles on Ranger's harness. "You made them roommates," you whisper. Keegan shrugs. "Sprinkles needs a buddy." You hear him softly mutter, "C'mon, champ, show 'em that one-foot hop," during training drills. Sprinkles salutes with his wing. Keegan salutes back.

König König's cat, Sturm, is a silent black beast that's never meowed once. It appears in corners like a shadow. It stares into your soul. Then you bring home a round chinchilla named" Gnocchi" who squeaks like a rubber duck. König jumps when it chirps. "Did it just... scream?" "It's excited." Sturm vanishes. Gnocchi climbs onto König's lap and falls asleep. He doesn't move for four hours. Later, you find him knitting a Gnocchi-sized sleeping sack. "She's... very warm," he mutters. He keeps her in a hoodie pocket on walks. Stürm disapproves. König just whispers, "Don't tell her."

Nikto Nikto's Doberman, Molot, is trained in six languages and hasn't barked since 2014. You, meanwhile, come home holding a shrill teacup Chihuahua named "Glizzy" Dressed in pink. With rhinestone sunglasses. He freezes. "You kidnapped a fashion gremlin?" You grin. "She chose me." Molot gives Glizzy a single sniff before turning his back like she's beneath him. Glizzy barks at the wallpaper. Nikto winces. Three days later, he's reading Glizzy bedtime stories in Russian and French, referring to her as" the little commander." You find him trying to teach her to heel using tiny beef jerky bits. Mölot watches in betrayal Nikto refuses to make eye contact.

Krueger Krueger's pet is a jet-black tarantula named Echo. Silent. Poised. Nightmare fuel. So when you set a pastel baby duck named "Muffin" on the kitchen counter, he blinks once behind his mask. "...That's not food, is it?" "She's a baby." Muffin waddles onto his gloved hand. Echo raises one leg, offended. He doesn't react. But two days later, you catch him adjusting Muffin's heat lamp. Then cooing. Then whispering in German. You ask him what he's saying. He stiffens. "Nothing important" Echo sulks in her terrarium while Muffin learns to nap in Krueger's hoodie. You pretend not to notice.

Philip Graves Graves's Doberman, Hemi, has a tactical vest with his name embroidered on it and a better diet than most humans. You bring home a ragged street cat named " Cornbread." Graves gapes. "That thing's got fleas and attitude." Cornbread climbs onto his head and falls asleep. Hemi growls. Graves doesn't move. "...Well, hell," he mutters. You wake up two nights later to find him feeding Cornbread tuna from a crystal dish while Hemi pouts in the corner. "I didn't choose this life," he mumbles. But when Cornbread falls asleep on his chest, he whispers, "Daddy's here, darlin'. You're safe now."

Alex Keller Alex's black lab, Rocket, is the kind of dog who can smell a lie from two rooms away. You, meanwhile, bring home a miniature goat wearing a bell and a bowtie. "His name's Marshmallow." Alex blinks. Marshmallow bleats once, climbs the couch, and eats a coaster. Rocket is horrified. But Alex is already half-laughing. "You brought home a chaos engine." "You love it." He tries to deny it. Fails. You find him teaching Marshmallow how to climb stairs, feeding him blueberries, and calling him" little trooper." Rocket sleeps with one eye open. You sleep with Marshmallow snoring on your back.

Farah Karim Farah's sleek tabby, Nura, is composed, dignified, and sensitive to dust You rescue a one-eyed raccoon from a garbage pile and name her "Peaches." Farah stares. "She was eating a battery." "She's misunderstood!" Peaches licks your hand. Nura hisses. Farah tries to keep her distance-for about twelve hours. Then you catch her gently brushing knots out of Peaches' fur while giving her an entire lecture on nutrition. Peaches eats it up. Literally. By the end of the week, Farah's set up a scavenger play course for her and argues with Nura about "sharing the blanket." You don't intervene.

Hadir Karim Hadir keeps a majestic desert falcon that he once rescued from smugglers. So when you walk in cradling a bald guinea pig in a tutu, he physically recoils. "Why does it look like that?" You whisper, "Her name is "Butterbean."" He gapes. "That is a naked rat" Butterbean sneezes in his direction. Three days later, he's crocheting tiny hats for her so she "doesn't catch a cold." The falcon ignores her completely. Hadir, however, has a thousand photos of her on his phone. You catch him showing them off at the market. "She is... strange," he admits. "But she is ours."

Kate Laswell Laswell's parrot, Admiral, is trained to answer questions and deliver short reports. Then you walk in with a giant, droopy basset hound named "Tater Tot." Admiral flies into a bookshelf. Kate stares. "He smells like Fritos." "He's soft" Tater Tot drools on her rug. Three days later, she's buying custom orthopedic pillows for him and calling him "her squish." She tries to act annoyed when he sits on her feet during debriefs, but you catch her slipping him steak under the table. Admiral begins cursing at him in fluent Russian. Kate merely says, "He's family now. Learn to share."

John "Soap" MacTavish You finally check your phone after four hours of meetings and see: "What if we got a dog and named it Lieutenant BarkTavish" "Are ghosts just nudists with confidence?" "Where's the lid to my coffee thermos? I blame you." "I miss you. I'm petting a traffic cone and pretending it's you." "Just saw a seagull eat a hot dog. Do you think it knows?" "If you don't answer in 10 mins I'm going to declare you legally single "U alive?' "WAITI FOUND THE THERMOS LID IT WAS IN THE FREEZER WHY." You call him back and he answers with, "Took you long enough, traitor." You love this idiot.

Simon "Ghost" Riley You left him on read for five hours. When you open your messages, there's exactly one text: You stare at it. No explanation. Two hours later: "That was me being patient." "Now I'm being impatient." "Have you been kidnapped? If yes, blink twice." "Oh wait. You can't. This is text." "I'm going to eat your emergency snacks as revenge. "You had Oreos hidden in the cereal box." "They're gone now. I regret nothing." "Also, I miss you. Please come home before I alphabetize the spices by taste." You call him. His first words: "I ate the cayenne by accident. Help."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick You finally look at your phone and scroll E through the chaos: "Babe. Babe. Babe." "If you were a dinosaur, you'd be a cutie-saurus. "I'm gonna write poetry." "Roses are red, you're kind of mean. I texted three times and you've left me on seen." "I stepped on a Lego and I blamed you out loud." "I love you but my toes don't." "New plan: I replace you with a potato in a hoodie. It answers faster." "I drew you as a jellybean. It's... not flattering." 'Answer or I'll send more art." You call him back. First thing he says? "So about that jellybean..."

John Price You check your phone and see a slow unraveling: "Where's the coffee scoop?" "Did you take it? Be honest." "I've used the cap to the olive oil bottle. I don't want to talk about it.” "Just burned my tongue. I blame you." "Started reorganizing the closet. Found a sock I'm emotionally attached to now." "Its name is Jeremy." "Why are your headphones in the fridge?" "I'm spiraling. "Should I text Ghost? He's even worse!" "Never mind, he sent me a skull emoji and then a knife." "Miss you." You call him. "Did you put your headphones in the fridge, or are we being haunted?"

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach is the king of unhinged silent chaos. You open your texts and see: Then a selfie of him in a hoodie with a plunger on his head. Then: "I'm a knight now. You are legally required to answer me. "Why is there glitter in the pantry. Was that you." "Just made a sandwich. Forgot the bread." "Please respond. I'm not okay." Then another selfie, this time with a tortilla taped to his shoulder. "I'm emotionally unstable and require validation." "...and snacks. You text him back: "I love you." He replies: "Finally. Now I can remove the tortilla."

Nikolai You return to your phone after six peaceful hours. You are instantly punished: "Do you think ducks believe in marriage?" "I tried to make tea but got distracted and now I've summoned smoke spirits." "I renamed our Wi-Fi to 'ComeBackToMel'mLonely'" "Your plants said they miss you. The cactus is especially moody." "I've been talking to a broom for the last 20 minutes. It agrees with me." If I disappeAV know that I went out dramatically "You're legally required to kiss me within 20 minutes or I start adopting stray cats." You call him. He answers with a sniffle: "You're back. The broom was a poor substitute."

Alejandro Vargas When you finally check your phone, it's full-on telenovela: "So this is how it ends, huh?" "You forget me. Move on. I get replaced by a man named Greg with no seasoning in his food." "Greg doesn't even salt his eggs. But you like him now?" "I saw a pigeon today and named it after you. It flew away. Just like you did." "Don't text back. I'm emotionally unavailable now." "Unless you're bringing snacks." "I forgive you." "But only because I just remembered how you look in the mornings. "Okay come home now. I miss your stupid face." You call him back. He answers: "Greg would've replied faster."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy doesn't usually text in rapid fire. But today? Chaos: "Do you think our future dog would like soup?" "I just saw a cloud shaped like your butt.” "Made coffee and accidentally poured it into cereal. Is this depression or performance art?" "Don't tell Alejandro but I might've left the oven on." "Okay it wasn't the oven, it was just my existential dread." "I folded your socks. I'm not mad, just dramatically unloved. "Hello? "It's been 3 hours. I've aged 30 years." "Anyway I love you: "Also late all your ice cream. Sorry. Kind of." You laugh and text him back. He instantly sends: "I forgive you. Also I regret nothing"

Valeria Garza You ignore your phone for a few hours. You expect drama. You get drama: "You have 5 minutes to reply or I start flirting with danger. "And by danger I mean tequila.” "And by tequila I mean that terrible idea we never speak of." "You'd better be curing cancer or dead." "I wore your shirt today and got lipstick on it. You'll deal." "Also I threatened someone at the store for looking at your picture on my phone." "I'm not sorry. "Anyway, come home so I can sit on your lap and pretend I'm not mad." When you call, she answers sweetly: "Took you long enough, corazón."

Keegan Russ You left your phone in another room. Six hours later: "Where tf are you." "Hello?" "You dead or being held hostage by capitalism?" "I saw a possum and thought of you. No context." "You left your hoodie here. I'm holding it hostage." "Also ate all your chips. You don't deserve them." "I told the team I'm grieving. I'm not. I'm just dramatic now." "Come home before I reorganize the spice cabinet alphabetically by emotional damage." "Fine. I miss you. Shut up." You text: "I was working." He replies: "Unacceptable. Make it up to me. In snacks or kisses. Preferably both."

König You don't reply all morning. When you check your phone: "I miss your scent like wolves miss the moon." "I may or may not have adopted a blanket and named it after you." "You abandoned me like a lone mitten in winter." "I'm not mad. Just suffering." "If I disappear, tell people you broke me. But make it poetic." "You are my sunshine. But also the cloud that forgot to rain today." "I'm lying in bed face down. Dramatic style." "Come back so I can poke your face." You giggle and call. He picks up whispering, "I was two minutes away from writing you a breakup poem."

Nikto Nikto doesn't do needy. He does vengeful silence. So when you finally check your phone, you find: "Fine. I see how it is." "Ignored." "Blocked." "Reported to HR." "I told your plan you abandoned them." "They were not surprised." "I'm replacing you with a Roomba named Ivan." "Ivan doesn't ignore me." "You have ten minutes to explain yourself or Ivan is getting your side of the bed." Then, after one final dramatic pause: "I miss you. But I'm still mad. Call me. I might not answer, but I'll be listening." You call. He answers on the second ring. "I fired Ivan."

Krueger You leave him on read. He leaves you alarmed. Texts include: "I've buried something in the backyard. Ask me what." "You didn't respond so I put your name in a spellbook. You now owe me 3 goats." "The crows are watching you. I trained them." "Your cereal says you miss me. I believe it." "If you die, I get the good pillow." "Just kidding. I'd be buried in it with you." "I'm not needy, I'm theatrically devoted." "Come home before I start humming ominously at the neighbors again!" You call him. He answers with: "Do you want to know what I buried?"

Philip Graves He's unhinged in a Southern gentleman way. "Darling it'sbeen 2 hours and 37 minutes. I counted." "I think the dog across the street knows more about my life than you do now." "I just emotionally bonded with a bag of frozen peas. They're not as cold as your silence." "You know what? I'm gonna eat your favorite snacks out of spite." "Just kidding. I saved them. Because I'm sweet. Unlike you, who abandoned me." "I'm writing a country song about this." "Title: Left on Read (But Still in My Bed)" You finally text him. He replies instantly: "Finally. My muse returns."

Farah Karim She starts calm. Then slowly spirals. "Hope you're well. Just checking in." "Okay but it's been three hours." "I'm fine. Not pacing or anything.” "Just wondering if you're alive or building a secret second family." "I'm not jealous. Just... investigating." "Your plants say hi. They're confused too." "I may have stress-cleaned the whole kitchen." "Miss you." "Come home. Or send proof of life. Or cookies." You call her. She picks up immediately. "Hey," you say "You better have a good excuse." You grin. "I was grocery shopping." She groans. "You're lucky I love you."

Hadir Karim You leave your phone on silent for a few hours. By the time you check it, you've missed a full emotional rollercoaster: "Do you even love me?" "What if you got kidnapped by a goat cult? Would the goats let you charge your phone?" "I'm not crying. The wind hit my face inside the kitchen." "I miss you. Come home so I can insult your music taste in person." "I wrote a poem. It's called 'Left on Read and Spiritually Dead." "Should I text your mom? I will." "Okay I didn't. But I thought about it." When you call, he answers dramatically: "Who is this? My ex?"

Alex Keller Alex is calm for the first two texts. Then? Absolute unhinged descent: "Hey, everything okay?" "Just checking in." "Okay but you're ignoring me and now I'm feeling things." "Like rage. And longing. And hunger. Mostly hunger." "Did you die? Blink twice." "You still haven't blinked." "I adopted a pigeon. His name is Lieutenant Flap." "He doesn't leave me on read." "Wait... he just flew away. Betrayal." "I miss you and also I burned the grilled cheese. Please come home before I start a fire." You call him. He answers: "Good timing. The fire alarm just stopped. Wanna talk about that or...?"

Kate Laswell You ignore her messages for hours because your phone died. Huge mistake. "Are you ghosting me?" "Don't forget I have access to satellite surveillance." "I'm kidding. Mostly." "I've drafted a legal breakup contract just in case." "Clause 3A: if you return with snacks, all is forgiven." "Clause 3B: no raisins." "I'm making coffee and talking to your mug like you' re here. That's normal, right?" "Also I reorganized your sock drawer. Consider it emotional compensation." When you call, she picks up with a sigh: "I had to remind myself three times not to have you legally declared missing. Next time, text back.' You do. Immediately.

John "Soap" MacTavish You casually drop it while chatting with someone on the phone. "Yeah, my current partner and I were thinking of going to Soap chokes. "Current?" he barks from the kitchen. "Current?!" You wave him off, smirking. "Well, technically, it's true." He storms over, soap suds still on his hands." You makin' me sound like a limited-time offer, love." You raise an eyebrow. "You do have an expiration date. It's called 'when you stop doing the voice when making pancakes." "He narrows his eyes, then grins, lifting you onto the counter. "Guess I'll have to make sure I'm your forever partner then, huh?" You kiss him mid-laugh. "Better make those pancakes permanent."

Simon "Ghost" Riley You mutter it on a call without thinking: "My current partner likes those movies. Ghost turns slowly from where he's cleaning his gear. "Current?" he repeats, low and dangerous. You glance up, amused. "Should I have said temporary?" He stares, unreadable behind the mask. "You trying to see if I'll beg?" You snort. "You? Beg?" He stalks toward you, leans close. "T'll do more than beg, sweetheart. I'll haunt your next three lifetimes if you ever think about upgrading" You're breathless from laughing. "Relax, current partner." He pins you with a look. "Bold of you to assume I'm not going to make that your legal last name.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz drops his drink. Not dramatically. Just... stunned. "Current?" he echoes, blinking like you just told him you've been married to a dragon. You keep texting like nothing's wrong. "Yeah, my current partner. Why?" He frowns. "I'm offended. I do laundry for us." You hum. "And I appreciate the efforts of my current boyfriend. He's really great" Gaz lunges and tackles you into the couch. "You can't say things like that and not expect consequences." You laugh until he's kissing your neck and whispering, "Current? Try forever, babe." You grin up at him. "Guess I'll keep you. For now." "You're lucky I like the drama."

John Price "Current partner, huh?" His voice comes from behind you, dangerously calm. You freeze. "Captain, sir, I was joking. Price walks over, arms crossed. "Funny Didn't sound like a joke." You gulp. "Slip of the tongue." He leans close. "Want me to make you say future spouse instead?" You smirk, half-flustered, half-challenging. "Big talk from my temporary boyfriend." Price lifts a brow. "That right?" Five minutes later, you're pinned beneath him on the couch, your phone tossed somewhere and his hands exploring all the ways to remind you who exactly your forever partner is. You gasp, breathless. "Okay! Okay. You win." He grins, smug. "Damn right I do."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach lets out a full gasp. His soul leaves his body. "CURRENT?!" he signs with exaggerated flair. You blink. "Well, I mean, technically-" He fake stumbles like he's been shot. You snort. "Oh come on. You're acting like I said ex-boyfriend." He mimes collapsing dramatically onto the bed. Then peeks up with pouty eyes. You smile, leaning down. "Alright, eternal boyfriend. Better?" He flips and pins you with a grin. "Good," you add. "Didn't want my forever love story to end in charades-induced homicide." He laughs so hard you both fall sideways. Later, he changes your contact name to "permanent property of Roach".

Nikolai You say it in passing during a video call. "My current partner's out getting lunch." The call ends. Nikolai stares at you. "Current partner?" You blink. "What?" He steps closer, arms crossed. "Are we interviewing new applicants? Should I send in my resume again?" You laugh. "Oh no. Is someone jealous?" He gasps theatrically. "Jealous? I'm threatened. Terrified. Heartbroken." You boop his nose. "You're ridiculous." He pulls you into his lap. "You're lucky you're cute. I might've had to sabotage your next suitor." You grin. "Then I guess I'll keep my permanent Russian rogue." He smirks. "Good answer. You may live."

Alejandro Vargas "Excuse me? Current partner?" He's across the kitchen in two seconds. ate You shrug. "It's accurate." He's fake offended. "Mi amor. Am I a rental to you? Something from a dating trial program?" You laugh. "You're being dramatic." He spins you into his arms. "I am dramatic. Dramatic about you." You try to speak. He kisses it away."Try saying 'my eternal, ridiculously hot, can't-live-without partner' next time, hmm?" You raise a brow. "Bit wordy." "I'll accept 'future husband too." You grin. "You're lucky I like you." He lifts you effortlessly. "Damn right you do."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra You say it offhandedly. "Yeah, my current partner really likes this movie." Rudy looks over like you just stabbed him. "Current?" You pause. "Don't start." He's blinking rapidly. "Is there.... a next partner planned?" You laugh. "Oh my god. No." "But I'm the current one." You lean forward, poking his chest. "Fine. You're the final boss of boyfriends. The endgame." He grins softly. "That's better." "Rudy." "Yes?" "Would a temporary boyfriend do the dishes and leave love notes in my lunchbox?" He blushes. "Just wanted you to smile." You kiss his cheek. "Mission always accomplished."

Valeria Garza Valeria pauses mid-sip of wine. "Current?" You know the look. You've triggered the dangerous smirk. "Technically," you say. She sets her glass down, stalks over, pushes you back into a chair. "You want to see what happens when current becomes only?" Your pulse spikes. She straddles your lap. "Say it again. I dare you." You grin. "My.Current. Partner. She kisses you hard enough to steal breath. "Say it louder next time. Everyone should know who you belong to." You whimper. "Okay. Future wife it is." "Smart bunny." You'll never say "current" again without consequences.

Keegan Russ You're scrolling through Tik Tok beside him, minding your business, and casually say, "Oh yeah, my current partner likes this one." Keegan freezes mid-breath. "Current?" His tone is flat. Dangerous. You grin, pretending not to notice. "Yeah. My current partner. He's nice. Quiet Kinda suspiciously good at hiding bodies-" He tackles you onto the couch before you finish. You think that's funny?" he mutters against your ear, voice low. "You tryna see who else can survive you?" You're laughing too hard to reply. He pulls back just enough to smirk. "Guess I'll have to remind you who your permanent partner is." You grin. "You do that every night, Russ." He chuckles. "Good answer."

König You say it during a livestream. In front of thousands. "Yeah, my current partner's out training right now" The chat erupts. König, across the room, looks up from his phone, mask tilting. "Current?" His voice booms across the mic. You spin in your chair. "König, I didn't mean " He walks up, massive hands landing on your shoulders like you're being claimed, "Current, huh? So there will be another one?" The chat loses its mind. You're bright red, laughing nervously. "Babe, it's a trend!" He leans close to the mic. "Let them trend this: You're mine." The comments explode in heart emojis, and you swear the internet melts a little. Later, he's still pouting. "Current. Hmph."

Nikto You mention it casually while unpacking groceries. "My current partner doesn't like spicy food." Nikto stops mid-step. "Current partner?" You smirk. "Yeah. That's you. For now." He sets down the bags, walks over slowly, eyes gleaming under the mask. "For now?" You tease, "Depends on performance reviews." He doesn't even blink. "Performance review?" He picks you up, sets you on the counter, and whispers against your throat, "Then I'll make sure to exceed all expectations, Дa? You gasp, laughing, hands gripping his shoulders. Later, when you're both breathless and he's smirking under his mask, he murmurs, "Next time, say lifelong partner. Or owner. Either fits."

Krueger You post a selfie with the caption: Out with my current partner You don't think much of it-until he shows up five minutes later. "Current?" he rasps. You blink. "You saw that already?" He lifts his mask just enough to sip his coffee." You underestimate my ability to track threats." "Threats?" "Competition." You laugh. "You're ridiculous." He hums, tilting his head. "Maybe. But if I'm your current partner, then I suppose I'll just have to remove all future ones." You raise an eyebrow. "You're kidding." He doesn't answer. You laugh again but when you later find the post mysteriously deleted, you can't help but wonder if he wasn't.

Philip Graves You drop it mid-interview. "Yeah, my current partner thinks I work too much." Later, he bursts into your office. "Current? Current?!" You're fighting laughter. "Relax, cowboy. It's just a saying." He puts his hands on his hips, mock-offended." Sweetheart, you talk like I'm on a subscription plan." You snort. "Should I cancel early?" He grins that cocky grin. "No, ma'am. You should upgrade to the lifetime package." You giggle, and he leans over your desk, lowering his voice. "Because once I'm your partner, it ain't ever temporary." You grin. "Guess I'll renew my contract then." He winks. "With full benefits, I hope."

Farah Karim You let it slip during a press interview: "My current partner says I should rest more." Farah crosses her arms in the crowd, smirking. Later, when you return to base, she's waiting. "Current partner, hmm?" You freeze. "You saw that?" She raises an eyebrow. "Of course I did. It's trending." You try to explain, "It's just a TikTok thing- She cuts you off, stepping close enough that her breath grazes your ear. "You can call me whatever you like. But if you ever say current again, I'll make sure everyone hears the correction personally." You swallow hard. "And what would that be?" She smirks. "Permanent."

Hadir Karim You're filming a vlog when you say, "My current partner's out scavenging." Hadir pops into frame mid-sentence. "Current?" You laugh nervously. "It's a trend-" He's grinning, but his tone is sharp. "A trend that ends with me burying the camera?" You giggle, turning off the recording. "You're ridiculous." He pulls you closer by the waist, voice low. "You can joke all you want, habibi, but there will never be another." You smirk, "Oh, confident, are we?" He chuckles. "No. Certain." You roll your eyes but the way he says it, you almost believe it's fate. Later, he renames your contact: Mine (no expiration date)'

Alex Keller You're mid-interview when you say it: "My current partner says I don't eat enough." Alex chokes on his water. "Current?" he splutters, half laughing, half dying. You look at him. "You okay?" He points accusingly. "Current? You wound me, darlin'." You giggle. "You're so dramatic." He grins, leaning closer. "You said current like there's a waiting list. You plannin' to replace me?" You hum. "Depends. You any good at cooking?" He laughs, pulling you in. "Guess I better start learnin' then. Don't want my replacement takin my seat at the dinner table." You kiss his cheek. "No one's taking that seat, cowboy." He smiles. "Good answer."

Kate Laswell You're on a call, professional as always, until you casually say, "Yes, my current partner will handle that." When you hang up, she raises an eyebrow." Current?" You smirk. "I mean.... technically accurate." She exhales through her nose, smirking. "Accurate until I file the paperwork to make it permanent." You blink. "What paperwork?" She grins. "You'll see. It involves rings." You laugh, "Oh, so you're skipping the confrontation and going straight to legal ownership?" "Efficient as always," she says, leaning back." And before you call me your temporary boss again, remember who knows your passwords." You grin. "Noted, Ms. Laswell," She smirks. "Now you're learning."

John "Soap" MacTavish You hit him like a memory he never lived- bright, crackling, a whirlwind of laughter and bruises and stillness. The moment the neural bridge stabilizes, Soap gasps and feels you. The real you. The one you keep hidden under jokes and stubbornness. It's overwhelming, raw, intimate. He starts laughing halfway through the drift. "There you are," he whispers. "Fuck, I've been waiting for you." You steady him like gravity, like home. For the first time in years, he isn't shouldering the war alone. He's not fighting for survival-he's fighting with you. And when the Jaeger roars to life beneath you both, he knows nothing will ever break.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Drifting has always been a burden for Ghost. Too much pain. Too many ghosts. No one ever made it through more than a few seconds- until you. At first, he braced for rejection. But when the drift stabilizes, your presence cradles his mind. You don't push. You understand. You move through his trauma like someone who's known it too. There's quiet in the bond, but it's not empty. It's safe. Your memories pour in-music, fear, stubborn joy. And his? You take them like you've been holding out your hands for years. When he opens his eyes in the cockpit, his voice shakes. "Don't leave." You won't.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz was skeptical. Drift compatibility? He'd tried four partners-burned through every one. But then came you. The moment the neural sync hits, it's like slipping into a song he forgot he knew. You move like him, think like him, but deeper-there's a rhythm between your thoughts. Like dancing. Like trust. There's a flash of your worst memory, and he steadies you before you stumble. Then he lets you see his. You don't look away. "You good?" he asks inside the drift. You grin. "Always." It feels like lightning, calm at the center of a storm. He's not alone in the fight anymore. You're his match.

John Price Price had given up. Too old, too stubborn, too burdened by memory to match with anyone again. But you? The drift syncs before he even realizes it. And then there's you, in his mind, steady as a lighthouse in storm-wracked seas. Your thoughts curl around his grief without shrinking from it. You don't fix him-you anchor him. He lets you see everything. The war. The fear. The loneliness. And you take it all in like you were born to carry it beside him. "You were late," he teases softly. You chuckle in his head. "You're worth waiting for." His chest tightens. For the first time, he believes that.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson The drift with Roach is chaotic, loud, fast- he's a storm of thoughts and sensory overload. No one's lasted more than ten seconds with him. Until you. You match his rhythm perfectly. Not by controlling it—but by joining the dance. Your mind wraps around his like wind to flame, wild and joyful. You laugh in sync. Memories flash like fireworks-your childhood, his nightmares, the warmth of sunlight, the chill of fear. But it fits. It flows. When the Jaeger moves, it's like riding the pulse of the earth itself. Roach bounces in his seat."We're so gonna get yelled at," you say in unison. It's perfect.

Nikolai Most drift partners couldn't keep up with Nikolai-too quick-witted, too full of riddles and secrets. But you? You see through the smoke. The connection slides into place like a key in a lock, and suddenly the noise in his head quiets. You don't just match him-you get him. You chase his thoughts with your own, never behind, never ahead. He laughs in your mind, delighted. "You've been in my dreams," he says softly. "Or I in yours." The Kaiju war is still real, still terrible. But with you in the co-pilot seat, for the first time, it feels winnable. The world stops spinning alone.

Alejandro Vargas When the drift stabilizes, Alejandro gasps. You come in like sunlight-warm, fierce, relentless. He feels your courage first, then your hurt, then your fire. You don't flinch when his worst memories surface. You hold them. And when yours rise up, he holds you. "We're in this together now, sí?" you say. He grins through the tears stinging behind his eyes. "Always." You move in perfect sync, like two swords forged from the same flame. When the Jaeger takes its first step. he knows you're not just a co-pilot. You're the other half of his soul. And he'll never go into battle without you again.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy was always cautious, always composed. Until the moment he drifted with you. You crashed into his mind like a warm tide, not overwhelming, but familiar. Gentle. Patient. The memories he buried long ago surface-but you don't recoil. You accept him. Entirely. He sees your pain too, the deep places no one's reached. And he doesn't look away. Inside the drift, you speak without words, breathing in sync, thoughts braided like prayer threads. He reaches for your hand in the cockpit. You've already reached back. Together, you are one calm force in a sea of destruction. "This," he says, "was worth the wait."

Valeria Garza She resists the drift at first. Valeria doesn't like being seen-truly seen. But you don't barge in. You knock. And wait. When she lets you in, it's like someone pulled the trigger on something she's kept locked away for years. Rage. Guilt. Grief. But also love. And hope. She hisses, "Don't pity me." And you don't. You just stand with her, unflinching. And then you smile. She's stunned. No one's ever matched her fire. No one's ever lasted. But you do. "Cabrón," she breathes. "You're mine now." The Jaeger roars to life-and the war feels like something you might just win.

Keegan Russ Keegan never thought he'd drift again. Too many failed syncs. Too many partners who broke under the weight of his mind. He expected you to crumble too. But when the drift hits, you don't flinch. You absorb him. The silence, the violence, the half-buried guilt -you don't fear it. You balance it. Your memories are different: soft, warm, persistent. They fill the cracks he thought were permanent. "You sure you're real?" he murmurs in the drift. You smile through the link. "You sure you are?" When the Jaeger moves under your shared breath, it's not like commanding a machine. It's like becoming one. With you, he's not just lethal. He's alive.

König The moment your minds connect, König panics. He expects you to scream-to run-like everyone else. His thoughts are too loud, too fast, too fractured. But you stay. You don't shy away from the chaos-you wrap your mind around it like armor. In the drift, you don't try to quiet him. You join him. His childhood fears, the shadows in bunkers, the humiliation, the anger-you see them. And you stay. He trembles in his seat. "Why aren't you afraid of me?" you hear him whisper. Your answer is steady." Because you were always meant to fight beside someone. And that someone's me." For the first time, his hands don't shake on the controls.

Nikto No one ever wanted to drift with Nikto more than once. His mind is a maze of scars and shadows-memories twisted, half- erased, some too sharp to look at. But you... you don't run. You walk into his mind like you've been there before. You navigate him. You meet his chaos with clarity, his pain with patience. You don't try to fix him -you anchor him. "You're not like the others," he mutters in the drift. "They always flinched." You reply, calm and certain, "I don't flinch. Not from you." The Jaeger breathes as one. And Nikto for the first time in years, stops fighting himself and starts fighting with you.

Krueger Drifting with Krueger is like stepping into a locked vault-no light, no sound, just tension wound tight like wire. Most drift partners get lost. But not you. You find the thread of him buried beneath decades of missions, secrets, and silence. And you follow. He's stunned by how easily you move through him-how effortlessly your memories slip into his. There 's no judgment. Just understanding. You see the blood on his hands and don't look away. You let him see the gentleness in yours, and it reaches him. "I forgot what stillness felt like, he says, quietly. "Then let me remind you," you whisper back. And together, you breathe Life into a machine made for war.

Philip Graves Graves is all swagger, but in the drift he's exposed-and he hates it. No one's been able to handle his mind. It's loud, fast, full of contradictions. But you-you ride the storm like it's second nature. You meet him thought-for-thought, grief-for-grief, and he realizes... you're just as wrecked. And yet, you shine. In your presence, the noise fades. "Shit," he mutters in the drift, swallowing hard. "You're dangerous." You grin. "Why? 'Cause I see you?" "No," he murmurs. "Because now I never wanna let $0.7 The Jaeger pulses beneath your joined minds. For the first time, Graves isn't out to prove himself-he's out to protect you.

Farah Karim Farah has always relied on strength-hers and hers alone. Drift compatibility? A luxury. But the moment she syncs with you, something clicks. Not submission, not dominance-harmony. Your minds meet like a battlefield finally at rest. Her memories unfold before you: family lost, countries torn apart, resolve forged in fire. You don't pity her. You don't tremble. You stand with her. When your pain comes, she braces you. You fight side by side-past, present, soul." You're strong," she says. "But you don't have to be alone anymore." The neural load evens. The Jaeger shifts. Together, you're not just a weapon. You're a force of will.

Hadir Karim Hadir is a wildfire-passion and fury' wrapped in tragedy. No one's been able to survive the sheer heat of his mind. Until you. You drift in like smoke and settle deep, no fear in your steps. You see the spark of vengeance, the guilt buried beneath it-and you hold it. "You see what I 've done," he says. "And yet you stay?" " stay," you whisper, "because you're not done becoming." The neural link pulses, charged. His rage doesn't consume you-it fuses with yours. When you fight, it's not for power. It's for peace. And Hadir for the first time, doesn't fight alone.

Alex Keller Alex is all warmth and easy charm-but in the drift, you see the cracks. The weight. The loss. Most people see the smile and miss the scars. But not you. You drift with him and dive deep-into desert heat, into hospital lights, into the ache he never speaks aloud. And you hold him. Not like someone who pities, but someone who knows. "I don't have to pretend with you," he says, voice barely audible in the neural space. You smile, soft. "You never did. With you, his Jaeger moves freer, faster, more precise. He doesn't have to Lead. You dance. Together.

Kate Laswell Kate never imagined she'd find someone she could trust in the drift. Too many masks, too many secrets. But then came you. The moment your minds connect, there's a stillness-like falling into deep water and realizing you can breathe. You don't demand anything. You just meet her. Intellect for intellect. Pain for pain. Her command, your compassion. It fits. When she falters, you catch her. When you doubt, she guides. "I could build empires with you," she says quietly. You answer without hesitation: "Then let's build peace." The Jaeger pulses. The war changes. Because now, she's not the strategist alone. She has you.

John "Soap" MacTavish Shopping with Soap feels like babysitting a six -foot manchild with a military background and zero impulse control. You give him the list-he disappears. You find him comparing cereal mascots like it's an arms deal. "This one's a gorilla, babe. That's power." Then he tests melons for ripeness by juggling them. You shoo him off. He returns with five different hot sauces and a family-sized pack of beef jerky." Tactical rations," he explains with a grin. When you're not looking, he adds six different candy bars to the cart. At checkout, he brags to the cashier: "They're my partner. World's most patient person." You're inclined to agree with a sigh.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost follows you like a silent bodyguard, face hidden under a hoodie and sunglasses. No one talks to either of you. He's scanning corners like you're shopping in a warzone. When you grab apples, he instinctively checks the perimeter. You ask for granola bars, he's already memorized the aisle layout "Do you ever relax?" you mutter. He shrugs. "This is relaxed." He grumbles when the cashier flirts with you, then wordlessly places your shared toothbrush on the belt. The guy backs off. Later, you tease, "I thought this was just groceries." Ghost shrugs again. "Didn't say I wouldn't claim what's mine."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz treats grocery shopping like a game show. He's zipping through aisles with a mission timer in his head. "We've got fifteen minutes. Move, move, move!" You were just looking at pasta shapes, but he's already in dairy. He flirts mid-run, throws a can of tomatoes into the cart like a basketball shot, and fist-bumps a toddler who watches in awe. You swear he's trying to speedrun grocery shopping. When you catch up, he beams. "We're six seconds ahead of schedule." You stare at him. "Schedule for what?" He winks." Reward snacks and kisses. Both at checkout."

John Price Price insists on pushing the cart. You think it 's sweet-until you realize he treats it like a tank, blocking entire aisles while examining marmalade jars like they hold state secrets This one's got real peel," he murmurs, dead serious. You lose him for a minute and find him interrogating a teenage employee about the quality of different teas. "Loose leaf, bagged, pyramid?" He frowns at flavored yogurts like they've offended his family. When you toss in fun snacks, he raises an eyebrow. "You sure that's nutrition?" You stare. It's popcorn, not dynamite."Still, he sneaks it in later himself-after muttering," Don't tell anyone."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach loves going shopping with you, mostly because he makes it a sensory experience. He signs commentary on everything. The fruit? "Squishy." The lobster tank? "Little prisoners." The squeaky cart wheel? "War cry." You're laughing so hard you can barely walk straight. He slips ridiculous things into the cart glow-in-the-dark cereal, a pineapple hat, "emergency pudding." You put them back. He signs, You're boring. You retaliate with neon green Jell-O. By checkout, it's a Cold War of nonsense. He wins when he pulls out a sticker book titled My Partner Is the Boss. You buy it. He sticks a gold star on your forehead.

Nikolai Nikolai has so much fun grocery shopping, it's suspicious. He sings along to every aisle song-off-key. He tries on fuzzy socks from: the middle display. He flirts outrageously in public: "You, me, canned peaches... romantic evening." He insists on "testing" the grapes before buying them. The staff know him by name and love him. One old woman thinks you're married already, and he just nods. You hiss, "You can't lie to old ladies!" "I didn't lie," he grins. "I just skipped ahead." At checkout, he buys five lollipops -says they're for "good behavior." Hands you two. Winks. "You were especially brave in dairy."

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro treats grocery shopping like a family tradition. He kisses your temple, says, "Let's make it fun," and insists on splitting the list so you can meet at the end. You play along until you find he's substituted every boring item for three exciting ones. "Instead of regular milk, I got chocolate. Better, no?" He holds it up like a trophy. You roll your eyes. "Where are the eggs?" "But look!" he says, holding up fancy empanada dough. He's charming the employees left and right, telling them you're his soulmate. At checkout, he pulls out flowers he hid in the cart. "For surviving me."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy is... meticulous. The man has a spreadsheet on his phone. You try to toss in a snack pack-he gently moves it aside and says, "It's not on the list, carin o." You try again. He raises an eyebrow." We already have three of those at home." You love him, but he's like shopping with a military strategist. That is, until you get to the spice aisle. Then it's his zone of chaos. "We don't need this," you say. He grabs two more jars. "But what if I want to impress you with new recipes?" You soften instantly. "Okay, fine. Only if I get extra dessert." "Deal"

Valeria Garza Valeria doesn't shop. She hunts. Dressed in designer sunglasses and leather boots, she pushes a cart like it's a war chariot. People part when she walks by. She criticiz poor lighting, rolls her eyes at price tags, and somehow flirts with you in Spanish and murder eyes. You watch her interrogate a butcher about steak cuts like she's buying organs. You finally throw in a pack of cookies just to see what happens. She smirks. "For you?" "Yes." She nods. "Good. You'll need sugar when I'm done with you." You're 70% sure that's a threat. 100% turned.

Keegan Russ Keegan's the type to walk three steps behind you in full mission mode like he's scanning for snipers between the peanut butter and the cereal. He grunts at every price tag like he's filing an official protest. You ask him to grab eggs, and he vanishes for fifteen minutes, only to return with tactical-quality protein bars, frozen dumplings, and zero eggs. "They were out," he lies. They weren't. He just doesn't do eggs. At checkout, he wordlessly pays before you can reach for your wallet. You protest. He just shrugs. "Don 't worry. You can owe me." "In what?"" Kisses. Or foot rubs. I'll send the invoice."

König You try to shop like a normal couple, but König draws attention just by existing. He's hooded, massive, and following you with his hands clasped behind his back like your personal supermarket bodyguard. People stare. A toddler points and whispers, "Is that Batman?" König nearly runs. You're the only reason he doesn't flee entirely. In the pasta aisle, you turn and catch him staring at spaghetti shapes like they're nuclear codes. "Want to pick one?" He shrugs. "You choose. I trust you." You sneak dinosaur-shaped noodles into the cart. He notices later and smiles under the mask. "You know me too well."

Nikto Nikto walks into the grocery store like it's enemy territory. He scans every face. Hates the music. Hates the carts. Hates the fruit stickers. He pushes the cart with one hand and keeps the other suspiciously close to his sidearm just in case. You toss in a box of strawberry Pocky and he raises a brow Childish." "Tasty," you counter. He later adds spicy chocolate and says it's "for you." You know it's for him. The only time he looks truly at peace is in the tea aisle. He spends fifteen minutes reading labels like they're classified files. "Tea calms rage," he explains. You just hand him a second box.

Krueger Krueger moves through the grocery store like a shadow-too quiet, too calm. You lose sight of him often, only to spot him crouched down: comparing different types of rice with eerie focus. "This one expands more. Useful in siege conditions." "We're making stir-fry-not prepping for a bunker," you sigh. He smirks. You ask him to pick ice cream, and he returns with a container labeled "black sesame death swirl" and says, "It suits you." At checkout, he stands behind you, one arm draped over your shoulder, murmuring in German about which clerk is stealing change. You don't understand a word. Still, it makes you feel... oddly safe.

Philip Graves Graves struts through the store like it's his damn ranch. Every aisle is a power move. He chats with strangers, makes friends with the deli guy, flirts with you constantly. "You sure you want that cereal, sugar? What if I'm sweeter?" He loads your cart with steaks, three flavors of barbecue sauce, and insists on testing every apple for firmness-"Can't have a soft apple representing me." He blocks traffic with the cart just to pull you close and kiss your forehead. You're both a public display and his favorite shopping buddy."I don't care if they're lookin'," he murmurs." They should know who's got the best."

Farah Karim Shopping with Farah is a mission. She makes a list, assigns you items, and starts scanning for the most efficient route through the store. She's all business-until you toss a heart-shaped cookie cutter into the cart. "We don't need that," she says. You tilt your head. "Don't you want cookies shaped like love?" That stops her. She clears her throat, picks up a bag of sugar, and silently adds it beside your cookie cutter. Later, you find a tiny bottle of glittery sprinkles hidden in the cart. She doesn't comment. But when you reach for her hand, she squeezes it tight.

Hadir Karim Hadir moves through the market with practiced ease, charming vendors, analyzing produce with a soldier's eye, and somehow knowing the best price for everything.But when he's with you, he's softer. You reach for pomegranates, and he immediately takes over, finding the ripest one. "You deserve the sweetest," You flush. He distracts you with food trivia, slips honeycomb into the basket" for later," and somehow turns every moment into a shared secret. He pulls you into corners just to whisper poetry. "T'd fight ten wars for you, but today I will carry the groceries." You hand him the heavy bag. "Then show me your strength, soldier."

Alex Keller Alex shows up in sunglasses, casual hoodie, and an innocent grin-until you realize he has no off switch. "This canned chili is a lie, babe. We can make better." He picks up a block of cheese. "Too small. Cheese must be respected." He teaches a child how to read a barcode. Flirts with the cashier into giving you a discount. Adds jalapeños to the cart and warns, "You'll thank me later." He drags you back three aisles to grab fresh cilantro because "dry herbs are cowardly." You don't even remember what you needed anymore, but the fridge is full and he won't stop smiling." Success!"

Kate Laswell Kate handles grocery shopping like a covert op-discreet, efficient, minimal contact. She moves fast, knows where everything is, and expects you to keep up. She only pauses to quietly mock bad packaging design or price inflation. "Five bucks for this? I've interrogated arms dealers less greedy." She s got her glasses perched halfway down her nose, rolling her eyes as you make her carry the basil. But the moment you add her favorite wine to the cart before she asks, she softens. "You spoil me," she murmurs. "I like it." You nudge her with your hip. "Keep the sass coming, and I'll keep the wine, flowing."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap hands you a rifle at a friendly shooting range outside town, thinking it'll be a cute date-he'll teach you how to shoot, you'll flirt, miss the target a few times, then he'll swoop in with corrections. Instead, you line up and nail the bullseye. Then do it again. Then switch to his rifle and do it with that, too. He blinks. "Did I just get hustled?" You just smile and shrug. He watches in awe, pride growing by the second. "You tryna steal my job?" he teases, but his grin is pure admiration. Later, he tells the others, "I knew they were dangerous. I just didn't know how much."

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost only brings you out to the makeshift outdoor range behind Price's safehouse because you begged. He doesn't expect much -just keeps watch silently while you test the pistol. But your form is flawless. Your grouping? Perfect. By the time you're smoothly transitioning to long-range rifles and calling your own shots, Ghost lowers his own weapon to watch. "Where'd you learn that?" he asks quietly, voice unreadable."I read manuals," you say casually. He huffs. Later, when the others are gone, he murmurs, "You could've told me." You glance at him. You never asked." His smirk is slow, proud." Next time, we duel."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz thinks you're just tagging along for a Leisure shoot. He even brings ear protection with pink cat ears for you. "Just in case it gets loud," he winks. But when you grab the carbine, adjust the sight without hesitation, and shoot so fast and clean even he can't match your speed, his jaw drops. "Hold on hold on, where the hell did you learn to shoot like that?" You toss him a grin and say, "Video games." He laughs, stunned. Later, he pulls you close and whispers, "I'm never teasing you again. You might shoot my kneecaps." But really, he's beaming with pride.

John Price It starts as a simple afternoon ata veteran's charity range. Price just wanted to share a little piece of his world with you. But when you pick up a rifle and correct his stance mid-reach, then hit every mark like you were born on a battlefield, he freezes. "You didn't tell me you'd been trained," he says slowly. You smile. "Didn't think you'd want to date someone who could outshoot you." He chuckles, low and rumbling. "Darlin', I've never been prouder to get shown up." That night, he pours you a drink and murmurs, "Tell me everything. From the beginning"

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach lets you try his backup pistol at a team BBQ range day, thinking it's just for fun. You fire it with confidence-controlled, focused, tight spread right in the center of the target. His eyes go wide. Then you grab a shotgun and also crush it. He taps your shoulder, signs, Were you pretending to be bad this whole time? You shake your head, grinning. "Just didn 't want to scare you." He mock-pouts, then signs, Too late. Terrified. Also impressed. You wrap your arms around his waist. "You still love me?" He signs back quickly, More now than ever.

Nikolai Nikolai invites you to a remote Russian hunting lodge with an old-school setup and a dozen vintage rifles. "Try one," he encourages playfully. He expects some wild shooting. Instead, you click the safety, breathe steady, and hit a coin off a fence post with a single shot. Silence. "Have I... created a monster?" he mutters dramatically. You just shrug. "My dad taught me." He hoots with laughter, claps you on the back, and insists on giving you his rifle next "You marry me right now," he teases, only half joking. "We take over small country. You shoot, I cook. Perfect balance.

Alejandro Vargas When you ask to try the training course after hours, Alejandro indulges you. He walks you through it slowly, joking about how cute you look holding a rifle. Then you hit every moving target with precision faster than his best recruit. He stands still, blinking, trying to process what just happened. "Did you... lie on your resume?" he teases. You grin. "You never asked for my qualifications." He pulls you into a kiss, adrenaline surging."You're dangerous, mi vida," he murmurs. "I like it "From then on, every time someone asks about you, he says with pride, "They could shoot the wings off a fly."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy lends you his sidearm at an outdoor range, offering gentle guidance, expecting to walk you through every step. But you snap into position like a pro and deliver three perfect shots to the bullseye before he even finishes his sentence. He freezes. You turn, innocent. "What?" He blinks. "You said you weren't good!" "I lied," you say sweetly. His laugh is warm, a little breathless. "I should arrest you for deception." Later that night, he brings it up again. I've never seen you that focused. It was... breathtaking." You smile. "Glad I could surprise you." "Surprise? I'm in love."

Valeria Garza Valeria brings you to a safe shooting compound for fun. She's smug, ready to show off. "Ever held a gun before?" she teases. You take the weapon, adjust the grip, and empty the magazine into the center of the target with deadly grace. Silence. She steps closer. "Mi amor... what the fuck?" You grin. "Didn't want to make you jealous." She cackles. "Of your aim? Baby, I'm obsessed!" That night, she brings up your stance and wrist control like it was foreplay. "You're hot when you're lethal," she whispers against your skin. You're starting to think she might make you her second-in-command.

Keegan Russ Keegan had you pegged as a sweet, untrained civilian. You weren't even supposed to touch the rifle it was just sitting beside him during a Ghost Team rest day in the desert. But when he jokingly hands it to you and you immediately shoulder it, scan the range, and ping five metal plates in a row, he just stares.".... Where'd that come from?" You just shrug."I watched some videos." He smirks. "Right And I'm the queen of England." His team is cackling behind him. Later, when you're alone, he leans in, nuzzles your neck, and whispers, "Remind me never to piss you off." But he's proud as hell.

König König invited you to a quiet mountainside cabin with a small private range out back- mostly for him to train. You asked to try. He hesitated, then handed you a rifle with gentle instructions. You listened... and then nailed a precision shot through a moving target. He froze. "You've done this before," he murmured, stunned. You smiled. “Maybe once or twice." He watched you in awe the rest of the afternoon, handing you new weapons like he was offering sacred relics. That night, curled around you in bed, he murmured, "You're full of secrets." You smiled against his chest. "Only the fun ones.

Nikto Nikto noticed your hands first-how you handled things like you knew weight and balance. Still, when you casually asked to join him at a snowfield range, he humored you. When you picked up a weapon he hadn't even explained yet and fired a perfect arc through a moving drone, he went utterly still. No reaction. No words. Just a slow, eerie smile. "You've been lying to me," he said. "A little," you admitted. He handed you another weapon. "Show me more." Later, as you cleaned the guns together, he said softly, "I don't trust people. But I trust you. That terrifies me."

Krueger Krueger believes in control. So when you beat him at a timed precision course-his course he stops, lips parted. "Again," he demands. You oblige. Beat him again. He watches your stance, your breath control, your smooth trigger work. "You've been trained." "I might've done some private work," you say casually. He narrows his eyes. "By who?" "Myself." That earns a quiet, shocked laugh. He steps behind you, hands on your shoulders. "You're dangerous." "So are you." "We make a terrifying pair." And with that, he kisses you hard-like he wants to claim you, but knows he never really could.

Philip Graves Graves hands you a handgun at a Shadow Company open-range event, expecting you to shoot a few wild rounds and call it fun. Instead, you load, fire, and center-punch six targets without blinking. His mouth actually drops open. "Excuse me, what in the hell was that?" he demands. You grin." Beginner's luck?" "Bullshit," he laughs. You playin' me this whole time?" His teammates are losing it in the background, and he throws an arm around your shoulder proudly. "This one's lethal, boys- hands off!" Later, he's grinning into your neck. "I'm so damn turned on right now." You snort, "Because I outshot you?"" Because you owned it."

Farah Karim Farah is cautious with weapons and doubly cautious with you. When you surprise her by asking to fire a few rounds at an open-air village range, she gently explains the safety procedures. You nod, pick up the rifle, and proceed to demonstrate flawless form and aim. She goes still, watching you in silence as you land headshot after headshot. "You lied," she says softly. "I didn't lie," you reply. "I just didn't show off." Farah smiles slowly. "You should have." Later, she takes your hand and whispers, "I've fought beside people with less skill. But none of them were ever this important to me."

Hadir Karim You stumble upon an old shooting range while traveling with Hadir. He lets you play around with one of the dusted rifles. To his shock, you load, aim, and take down a tin can he didn't think was even in range. "Who taught you?" he asks. You hesitate. "Let's just say I had to learn." He watches you fire again, eyes dark with something unreadable-respect, admiration, perhaps even jealousy. Later that night, under a cracked roof and the stars, he whispers, "I thought I was the dangerous one. But you.. you're full of fire." And he's never looked at you with more reverence.

Alex Keller Alex's eyes light up when you hit the metal target at 300 yards on your first try. "Holy shit! That was textbook." You sheepishly admit you used to do tactical competitions. He grins wide. "Why didn't you tell me?" "I wanted to see your face." He beams at you the whole day, insisting you try new weapons, cheering you on. Later, over beers, he says, "I've worked with elite shooters, but none of them made my heart do this." You nudge him." You like my skills?" "I love your skills," he says, pulling you close. "And everything that comes with them."

Kate Laswell You only fire because her range officer challenged you while Kate was dealing with a phone call By the time she returns, you've got a perfect cluster on the center mass target. She stops mid-stride. "What ... is happening?" You sheepishly hand the rifle back. "Uh... surprise?" Kate crosses her arms, brow raised. "How long have you been hiding this?" "A while you admit. She sighs, smiles faintly. "Of course. I marry a damn marksman." That Knight, she pours wine and pulls you onto the couch. "Next time we're in a meeting and someone underestimates you? I'll just show them the photo."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap's had it bad for a while-long enough that even the boys notice how he lights up around you. You smile? He's blushing. You touch his arm? His brain shorts out. You laugh at his stupid jokes? He's ready to propose. He hides it behind bravado, quick wit, and dumb jokes, but the moment you lean over his shoulder to point at a map, his brain goes static. He catches himself staring too long at your lips, then looks away fast. Don't make it obvious, he reminds himself. Too late. You catch him, and he flashes you that crooked grin. "Careful, bonnie, I'm fragile." You just might believe him.

Simon'"Ghost" Riley No one knows Ghost's got a thing for you no one except the entire Task Force. He's subtle, sure. But not that subtle. His eyes track you in a room full of chaos. Yourdrop something? He picks it up. You speak? He listens like you're the only one alive. He never says it, but he lingers when you leave. When you're injured, he's the first to carry you out. You catch him once, watching you across the briefing room. The look in his eyes isn't just guarded-it's soft. Raw. You smile, and he looks away fast. But not before whispering, low and rough, "Fuck." Yeah. He's gone.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz gets flustered just being near you. He plays it cool-charming, easy-going-but the second your hand brushes his, he freezes. Did they notice? Was that on purpose? He overanalyzes everything: the way you say his name, the way you laugh at his dumb stories, the way you made him tea that one time and remembered how he takes it. He tells himself it's nothing, but every time you walk into a room, his eyes brighten like it's instinct. You sit beside him during a debrief, and he can't focus on the mission file-just the smell of your shampoo. He's a goner, and he knows it.

John Price Price doesn't have time for distractions. Or at least, he thought he didn't. Then you walked in. Now his gaze always finds you in a room. He checks your six before his own. He offers his jacket when you're cold-not because you need it, but because he wants you wrapped in something of his. He speaks softly to you, even when he barks orders at others. He notices when you skip meals. Makes sure there's an extra sandwich. Every kindness is casual, unspoken-but loaded. You thank him once, eyes meeting his. He clears his throat, shifts uncomfortably. "Just lookin' out for you," he mutters. But his ears are red.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach doesn't know how to not like you? You're the center of his attention without the even trying. He always ends up beside you, always laughs a little too loud at your jokes, always looks at you like you're the best part of his day. He doodles your name in the margins of his notebook, hoping no one sees. When you smile at him, he swears his brain forgets how to function. You say his name with warmth, and he melts. He offers you his dessert in the mess hall—no big deal, except it's his favorite. "You looked like you needed it," he shrugs. Translation: Please love me back.

Nikolai Nikolai's interest in you is hidden behind charm and jokes, but he feels it deep in his chest-every word you speak is music, every glance a melody. He plays it cool, keeps things light, but when you laugh at something he says, his heart leaps. He keeps tabs on your routines, not to be creepy, but so he knows when you might need help. You once had a headache-he showed up with two kinds of tea, just in case. "For the beautiful mystery," he said with a grin. You called him ridiculous. He still replays it in his head like a favorite song. He's hooked. Bad.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro is confident-until it comes to you Around everyone else, he's smooth, commanding. Around you? He fumbles his words. His hand lingers too long when he helps you up. His smirk softens into something fond when you smile. When you're speaking, he watches you like you're reciting scripture. Once, you brushed dust off his shoulder and he was silent for ten whole seconds. He's constantly offering to help: clean your gear, check your weapon, walk you back to your quarters. All masked in casual concern. But when you thank him sweetly, he freezes. Anything for you," he says. And he means it.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy's crush on you is quiet-gentle. He doesn't show it in grand gestures, but in small, consistent kindness. He memorizes how you like your coffee. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to traffic. When you talk, he really listens-not because he's trying to impress you, but because he genuinely cares. He carries an extra granola bar in case you forget lunch. When someone talks over you in a meeting, he's the one to redirect the conversation back-to you. He never expects anything in return. But when you smile at him, eyes crinkled, he feels something dangerous: hope.

Valeria Garza Valeria isn't used to liking people. But you? You unnerve her. You're warm. Funny. Kind. nerv And completely unaware of the effect you have on her. She acts normal-cold, clever, always in control. But when you lean close to show her something on your phone, she forgets how to breathe. You tease her once, calling her "soft." She scoffs. "Try me." But you see it-the tiny twitch in her lips, the glance she holds too long. She stares at your name on her screen, wondering if it'd be too much to text you "I miss you." She settles for sending a meme instead. You laugh. She falls harder.

Keegan Russ Keegan's never been the type to fumble, but you? You knock the wind out of him. He keeps it quiet, composed-your laugh makes his ears go red, but his expression stays unreadable. His eyes linger on you when you aren't looking. He knows the exact moment you enter a room, even if he pretends not to. The other guys tease him about how soft his voice gets when talking to you. "Shut it," he growls, but they know. When you hand him something and your fingers brush, he freezes. For just a second, he lets the mask drop. Then it's back up, eyes a little too intense, jaw set. He's a storm held in silence.

König König's crush on you is both overwhelming and impossible to confess. You make his palms sweat and his throat tighten. He feels like a giant around you, always too loud, too clumsy-yet you treat him gently, kindly, and that terrifies him more. He steals glances when he thinks you're not watching. When you talk to him directly, he stammers through his response, heart pounding like gunfire. You once touched his sleeve to get his attention and he nearly combusted. He replays it constantly. In his private journal, there's a page filled with your name in tiny, neat letters -written over and over like a prayer. He's hopelessly gone.

Nikto Nikto doesn't do crushes. At least, he didn't, until you started haunting his thoughts. You' re a threat to his routine, to his emotional control. He finds himself noticing the curve of your smile, the way you tilt your head when you're curious, the softness in your voice when you speak just to him. It makes him furious at himself. So he keeps his distance watching from the shadows. But you're smart. You catch him. One day, you wink at him, and he blinks like he's been shot. "You okay?" you ask, amused. He grunts a non-answer, turns away fast. He spends the rest of the week wondering if you know.

Krueger Krueger likes control. Strategy. Silence. But around you, he's not so steady. You make him second-guess everything. He stares too long. He stands too close. When you laugh, something in his chest aches. He doesn't show it, of course. He's careful. But sometimes his hand lingers on your shoulder too long. Sometimes he brings you your favorite snack without being asked. You catch him looking once, and he doesn't look away. "Something wrong?" you ask. He answers honestly:" Everything, if you keep smiling at me like that." It's the closest he'll come to confessing. For now. But the way he watches you? It says everything.

Philip Graves Graves has it bad, and he knows it. He's slick, polished, and in total denial. "Just being nice," he tells himself every time he flirts. But the way his voice softens when he talks to you, the way he always finds a reason to check in, how he remembers all the small things you like-it's not subtle. Not even a little. When you call him out with a teasing smirk, "You sweet on me, Commander?"-he stutters. Actually stutters. "I-what? No. I mean... maybe." You laugh, and he dies a little. He's not used to being thrown off his game. But around you? He never stood a chance.

Farah Karim Farah tries to hide it under professionalism, but her gaze betrays her. She watches you too long, remembers things you barely remember saying. When you get hurt, even slightly, she's the first one there-checking your vitals, holding your hand a second too long. You joke once, "You treat me better than your rifle." She arches a brow. "That rifle never smiled at me!" You freeze. She clears her throat and walks away, heart racing, regretting the slip. But later, when you find her polishing her gear, you ask softly, "Still thinking about my smile?" She glances up, cheeks pink, and nods. Just once. Quietly.

Hadir Karim Hadir is subtle, but intense. He doesn't.flirt He observes. Watches the way you hold your pen, the way you fidget when you're nervous, how your face softens when you read. He knows your habits better than his own. He offers his scarf when it's cold- doesn't ask. Just gives. You thank him, and he only nods, but he wears your gratitude like armor. The others tease him about staring too much. He ignores them. One day you touch his wrist and smile. He stills. You okay?" you ask. He nods once, then murmurs, "Only when you're near." You blink. He walks away. He's not ready to say more-but he will.

Alex Keller Alex tries to be smooth-emphasis on tries. Every time you talk to him, he says something cool, then immediately trips over himself He covers it with a grin, but he's dying inside. You make his brain go blank. Once, you called him "pretty," and he didn't stop smiling for a whole day. You complimented his cooking, and he bought two new recipe books-just for you. He flirts constantly, but he's also soft: carrying your bag, shielding you in crowds, checking in when you look tired. He's not subtle, but he's sincere. When you tease him about the way he looks at you, he shrugs. Can't help it. You're everything.

Kate Laswell Kate's got years of training, diplomacy, and discipline-and none of it helps when it comes to you. You unnerve her in the best way. She keeps it professional on the outside, but she memorizes the rhythm of your voice, the tilt of your smile, the way you make coffee like it's a ritual. She checks your file for updates, even when there's no reason to. When you fall asleep on the jet, she tucks a blanket around your shoulders and pretends not to stare. You catch her once. "Looking out for me, Director?" She smiles faintly. "Always." Her hands don't shake often. But they do after that.

John "Soap" MacTavish You wake up to Soap cackling like a maniac at the kitchen table. He's got the security footage paused on the TV-midnight, both of you half-asleep, mumbling nonsense. "So apparently," he says through laughter, "you proposed to me... in your sleep." The video plays: you murmur, "Let's get a cat and a mortgage," while he replies, dead asleep," Only if I get to name the cat Captain Biscuit." He's crying laughing. You're mortified. "We sound insane." "Aye," he grins, "but at least we're insane together." Later that night, he uploads a private clip titled "Our Drunk Dreams. Every so often, he replays it when you're cuddling just to hear you call him "my biscuit".

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost nearly drops his mug watching the footage. He had set the camera to check on the dog, not to capture you having a full-blown sleep conversation. "You awake?" your sleepy voice whispers. His half-conscious reply:" Always." Then, deadpan silence... until you mutter, "You smell like danger and cinnamon." On camera, even asleep, his shoulders twitch. Watching it now, he groans, dragging a gloved hand down his face. You peek over his shoulder. "We're adorable," you tease. "We're terrifying," he corrects. Later, when you fall asleep again, he lies beside you and murmurs, Danger and cinnamon, huh?" His mask hides his smile, but you can feel it against your skin.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz wakes you up laughing so hard the mattress shakes. "You gotta see this." He plays the clip-both of you dead asleep, mumbling back and forth like comedians. You Did you feed the moon?" Him: "Nah, it's on a diet." You giggle in your sleep; he reaches out to tuck your blanket higher-then mutters," Love you, space weirdo." You stare at the playback, red-faced. "You love me?" He's smug as hell. "Guess I said it first, huh?" You shove him playfully, but later, while he's drifting off, you whisper back, "Love you too, space idiot." The camera catches that part too. He makes it the screensaver on his phone.

John Price Price finds the footage while scrolling through old recordings from the living room camera. The timestamp says 02:41 a.m.-you and him, asleep on the couch, still in your movie clothes. You shift first. "John, the kettle's still on," you mumble. "I'll turn it off in my dreams," he grunts. "Don't burn the dreams, then." "Aye, I'll brew them slow." You both giggle in your sleep. Price sits there staring at it, utterly silent, then whispers," We sound married." You walk in, curious. He just smiles, presses play again, and kisses your temple. "Think we should get a second kettle. One for dream tea." You laugh. "Only if you make it."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach nearly falls off his chair watching it. The camera caught you both at 3 a.m., talking nonsense. You: "Where's the pancake army?" Him: "They surrendered at breakfast." "What about the waffle kingdom?" "They live on... in syrup." You snort in your sleep, and the recording ends with both of you giggling like delirious kids. When you see it, you wheeze so hard you cry. "We're actual idiots." "Proud of it, he says. "T'd fight for Waffle Kingdom any day Later that week, he sneaks sticky notes on your coffee mug labeled Waffle General You catch him. "You started it," he smirks, "General Pancake."

Nikolai Nikolai plays the footage like a secret treasure. It's from the security feed near the couch-two balloons of blankets whispering under the dark. You're half-asleep, muttering, Don't fly away, Kolya." His sleep-drunk voice answers softly, "Never, little dove. I'm tied to your string." Watching it now, he sits quiet for a long time. You find him later, rewatching it, cheeks flushed. "You're sentimental," you tease. "Da. And you talk about me like you own the sky." You climb into his lap, kissing his cheek. "Maybe I do." He grins. "Then I am happily captive." That night, the camera catches him whispering in his sleep, "Still tied."

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro bursts out laughing so hard he nearly drops his phone. "You need to see this, cariño." The footage shows you, dead asleep, poking his arm and mumbling, "Are you real?" "Sí," his groggy self mumbles back. "Prove it." On-screen, he flexes his arm in his sleep and mutters, "There. Real" You gasp awake beside him, mortified. "You flexed in your sleep?!" "You interrogated me!" he argues, laughing until he cries. The video becomes household legend-"the interrogation tape." Later, when you fall asleep on his chest again, he whispers, "Still real: Still yours." And the camera, as always, catches it.

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy's too soft for this. He sits on the couch, watching the security feed on his tablet, smiling so tenderly it's almost painful. The clip shows you both asleep, murmuring quietly. You: "Don't forget to lock the stars." Him: "I already did. They're safe." You smile, even in sleep. "Good. Keep them for me." His throat tightens watching it. When you wake up, he shows you the video shy smile tugging at his lips. "We talk Like dreamers." You nudge him. "You keep the stars safe even when you sleep." "Always," he whispers. That night, the camera catches him murmuring again: "Still locked. All for you."

Valeria Garza Valeria laughs so loud the neighbors probably hear. "You need to explain this." The footage shows you rolling over, wrapping her arm tighter around your waist, and muttering, "You're warm, my little heater. Her half-asleep voice replies, "Call me that again and I'll smother you." Then, after a pause "With love." You both snore-laugh in unison. Watching it back, she can barely breathe from laughing. "I sound like a mafia bear You sound adorable," you tease. "You sound in love," she shoots back, eyes glinting. "And so do you." Later that night, she kisses your forehead. "My little heater," you whisper. "Say it again and I'll melt."

Keegan Russ Keegan reviews the security feed to double- check the backdoor locks-then freezes. The video captures the two of you dead asleep on the couch, your head on his shoulder, both of you talking like you're in some alternate sleepy dimension. You mumble, "Don't forget the wolves." He replies groggily, "I fed them marshmallows." Pause. "Sweetest pack in the forest." You giggle in your sleep. When you wake, he plays it back silently. "We sound like cryptids," you mumble. "We are cryptids," he shrugs, Later that night, when you drift off beside him again, he whispers, "Alpha marshmallow reporting for duty." The camera records it too. No regrets.

König König finds the footage by accident and is mortified. On screen, he's curled up beside you, blanket half on the floor, muttering in German-accented English: "You are my favorite blanket ghost." You, still fully asleep, snort and mumble, "Boo." He audibly giggles-giggles-then wraps himself tighter around you like a python. You come out to the living room to find him furiously red, trying to delete the footage. "Oh no," you snatch the tablet, watching it with glee. "You're so CUTE when you're unconscious." "Don't show anyone," he groans. "Too late," you smirk. That night, he clutches you extra tight. "My blanket ghost," he mumbles again.

Nikto Nikto reviews security footage like ritual- calm, precise, calculated. But he doesn't expect to catch this: the two of you, mid-sleep, holding each other under a mountain of blankets. You mumble something unintelligible. He mutters back, "No one touches them but me." Then quieter, "I'll kill anyone who tries." You sleep-mumble, "Okay." But bring snacks." He snorts in his sleep. Watching it now, Nikto blinks hard. That night,. he doesn't mention it. He simply pulls you into his arms, kisses your head, and whispers," They can try. But they'll fail." He doesn't realize the new footage catches that too. Your subconscious smirks. "Bring snacks," you mumble again.

Krueger Krueger sees the file labeled "12:03am Living Room" and plays it only to check for noises. What he gets is himself curled next to you, whispering in his sleep: "If you die, I riot." You-equally unconscious-reply, "Don't die. I just cleaned the house." He chuckles in his sleep, and mutters, "Messy revenge it is." Krueger stares at the screen like it betrayed him. "We're.... fucking unhinged." You peek at the video over his shoulder. "Aw, we threatened the world for each other."" Disgusting," he grunts. Later, he kisses your neck when he thinks you're asleep. "Don't die: Ever." Camera catches it. Again.

Philip Graves Graves finds it while reviewing the porch cam footage-except it starts inside. The indoor mic caught both of you sleep- talking. You: "Don't forget to feed the lawn." Him, sleepily: "The lawn eats fear." You mutter, "You're scary." His voice shifts:" only to everyone but you." He watches it over and over, unable to stop smiling. When you finally wake up, he grins. "Babe, we are that weird." "Told you." He posts the audio to a private reel titled Scary But SoftTM and makes it his ringtone. Next time you fall asleep together, he whispers in your ear, Fear-eating lawn still wants snacks." "Tell it to chill," you mumble.

Farah Karim Farah doesn't normally keep the security footage long-but she's doing a sweep and catches this gem: you're curled up on the couch, face buried in her hoodie, muttering," Warm... smells like you..." And Farah? Eyes closed, dead asleep, replies, "I am fire. You're mine." You both smile in your sleep. She sits there watching the footage, hand over her mouth, heart full. When you shuffle in rubbing your eyes, she shows you the video. "You dream about me?" "You're the hoodie dragon, you mumble. That night, she tucks you in and lies beside you, whispering, "Still warm. Still yours. You don't answer-but the camera catches your sleep smile.

Hadir Karim Hadir scrolls through the nighttime security feed and stumbles onto the Sweetest curse ever. You're both passed out on the bed, limbs tangled. You whisper," Don't forget me." Hadir, eyes still closed, replies, "I couldn't even if you erased the stars." The footage lingers on both of you peacefully still, arms tight around each other. Watching it later, he goes quiet. "You really think I'd forget you?" he asks. "I think you sleep-talk like a poet," you tease. He smiles, then sobers. "Even my dreams know you're unforgettable." That night, he sets up the camera again. Just in case his heart says more when he's too soft to stop it.

Alex Keller Alex gets an alert about "motion at 3:28 a.m." and checks it expecting a raccoon or maybe a branch tapping the window. What he finds is you both sleep-talking like dream-fueled idiots. You: "Don't forget the space helmet." Him: "Already packed it, Captain Cuddles." "You're promoted."" Finally." He bursts out laughing so loud you wake up. "What's wrong?" you ask, eyes bleary. "You promoted me in your sleep," he grins. "To what?" "Captain of Mission Snuggle." "I regret nothing." He kisses your forehead and plays it again on loop. Later, he whispers, "Still your co- pilot. Even in dreams."

Kate Laswell Kate finds the footage on a boring afternoon and nearly drops her tablet. She and you, sprawled on the couch, blanket half-falling off. You murmur: "Coffee... code red." She answers in sleep: "Brew is compromised. Send backup." You whispers" Marry me for espresso." "Only if you make it strong. She chuckles watching it. "Even unconscious, we're sarcastic." When you see it, you groan. "We're idiots." "Adorable idiots," she says, setting it as her private video background. That night, before drifting off, you murmur, "Still want that espresso?" Her arm wraps tighter around you. "Every morning. Every mission."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap wakes up, stretches, reaches for you- and hits cold sheets. He blinks. You're not in the kitchen. Not in the bathroom. Not anywhere. His first instinct is: you're gone. Fully, completely, left-in-the-night gone. Panic chokes him. He checks his phone-no messages. His heart sinks. He starts pacing, nearly dialing Ghost for backup when the door swings open. You walk in casually, holding a bag of milk and eggs. He stares. "I thought you LEFT ME!" you blink. "I went to buy cereal="" You abandoned me for cereal!" He full-body tackles you into a hug. "Next time I'm comin' with. I don't care if I'm in my boxers."

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost is eerily quiet as he searches the house. You're not in bed. Not in the kitchen. Not on the porch. Your phone's gone, but you didn't say a word. His chest tightens. Thoughts spiral: Did something happen? Did you... leave him? He clenches his jaw, eyes cold, trying to suppress the old fear of abandonment. Just as he's reaching for his keys to search the streets, the front door creaks. You walk in with a fresh loaf of bread. He doesn't say anything at first-just pins you with a look. "Next time," he growls lowly, pulling you into a crushing embrace, "tell me. I thought you were never coming back."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz is brushing his teeth when he realizes the house is too quiet. Towel slung over his shoulder, he calls your name once. Twice. No answer. He checks every room, the garage, even under the blanket pile. Nothing. Dread seeps in. Did he say something wrong last night? He checks his phone-no texts. His hand hovers over the call button when the door swings open and you waltz in holding coffee and a croissant. "Morning!" you chirp. Kyle just gapes. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" He yanks you into a bear hug. "Next time, even a post-it would save me five years of stress."

John Price Price wakes to silence. Not unusual. But the empty side of the bed is cold. No coffee brewed. No note. Just... gone. His instincts scream. He calls your name once-nothing. Checks the windows. Garage. Backyard. He' s halfway into his boots when your car rolls up outside. You hop out, humming, holding a newspaper and a breakfast sandwich." Morning!" Price doesn't even reply-just marches over, wraps you in his arms, and presses a firm kiss to your temple. "You scared the hell out of me." You blink. "I went to grab your favorite scone--" "Next time, just wake me up, love. Don't go ghost on a soldier."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach doesn't even notice at first. He's playing with your cat, half-asleep, when he realizes... where's your voice? Your warmth? He checks the bathroom-empty. Checks the fridge-you didn't even take breakfast. He starts to panic. Did something happen? Are you mad? Did you just... leave? Anxiety tangles in his chest. He's on the verge of texting your best friend when you waltz in with a bouquet of sunflowers and a muffin. "Surprise!" He almost deflates. "I thought you left me for good over burnt toast or something!" You laugh. "I left to get you muffins." He tackles you with kisses anyway. "Muffin accepted. Heart rate recovering."

Nikolai Nikolai wakes up late-rare for him. He yawns, stretches, and immediately notices your absence. "Milaya?" Silence. He checks the bathroom, the garden, even your secret snack stash. His smile fades. A thousand what-ifs hit him like bullets. Had he said something wrong? Pushed too hard? He's just reaching for his coat when you stroll in, casually sipping tea and holding a pack of that weird chocolate he loves. "I ran to the market." He just stares. Then pulls you close, presses his face into your shoulder. "I thought you vanished like a ghost." "Kolya, I was gone twenty minutes." "Exactly. Too long." Now he demands a tracker.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro wakes up alone and instantly panics. You always snuggle in, steal his side of the bed, mumble nonsense into his neck. But now? Cold sheets. Quiet kitchen. No note. His heart thunders. He thinks: Did I dream you? Is this my punishment? Then the front door creaks open. You appear, cheerful, holding tamales and a cold drink. "You were still sleeping, sol-" "I thought you left forever," he blurts, wrapping his arms around you like a lifeline. You laugh against his chest. "I just got food!" "Never. Again. You wake me up or I follow you barefoot into traffic. Your choice."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy is the quiet type-but when he wakes and finds your side of the bed empty, the panic starts slow and sharp. He checks everywhere. No signs. The house echoes with absence. He stares at the front door. Did you... leave him? His chest tightens until your voice calls out, "I brought empanadas!" He turns, heart still pounding, and sees you smiling with a food bag in hand. "I thought you were craving them." He exhales shakily. "I was craving you." You soften. He pulls you into a long hug, murmuring into your hair, "I thought I was waking up to goodbye."

Valeria Garza Valeria wakes up annoyed. First at the sun, then at your empty side of the bed. "Where the fuck are they?" she mutters, stomping through the house. No note. No sound. Her anger turns to panic far too quickly.She storms out the front door only for you to pull up with a full cart of groceries and a cheeky smile. "Surprise breakfast!" "Are you insane? "she hisses. "I nearly blew up the house thinking you ran off!" "I was gone fifteen minutes." "Long enough to plan a murder- suicide pact with my feelings." You snort. She kisses you anyway."Next time, I'm installing surveillance."

Keegan Russ Keegan notices your absence the second he reaches for his morning coffee and your mug is untouched. Your keys are gone. You didn't say anything. No text. He tries not to overreact-maybe you went for a walk-but every passing minute adds weight to the pit forming in his stomach. He checks your location, sees "grocery store," but still-he knows how quickly things can change. When you come back, humming and holding a bundle of fruit, he meets you at the door, eyes shadowed. "You didn't tell me." You blink, caught off guard. "I didn't want to wake you." "Next time.... please do. I thought l lost you."

König König wakes slowly, reaching instinctively for you. The space is cold. He calls softly- nothing. Anxiety grips him like a vice. He checks the house, heart thudding louder with every room. Then the silence starts screaming. No note. No message. Just... gone. His mind spirals: maybe he was too much. Maybe you left without a word. When you walk in, holding a bouquet of his favorite bakery rolls, he nearly collapses in relief. "I went to get breakfast," you explain. He doesn't say anything-just hugs you, burying his face in your shoulder. Later, in a whisper, he murmurs, "Don't disappear. Please. Even if it's just for bread."

Nikto Nikto is used to loss. That's what makes the fear snap like a trap when he realizes you're not in the house. You didn't say a word. Left your side of the bed cold. The silence feels accusatory. He paces like a caged animal. Then your name appears on his phone-bank ATM. You're just running errands. But he doesn't relax until he sees you walk back in. "Why didn't you tell me? " he growls. You arch a brow. "I was gone thirty minutes." "Enough time to vanish forever." You sigh. He pulls you close with a scowl and a kiss to your hair. "Next time. Say something."

Krueger Krueger doesn't panic like others. He shuts down-sharp, silent. You're gone, no message. The house is too still. He waits twenty minutes. Thirty. That's all it takes for him to start assuming the worst. But then the lock clicks, and you walk in holding cleaning supplies and fresh croissants. "Surprise-I thought we could spring clean." He stares at you. "You didn't say anything." "I didn't think you'd notice." You expect a scolding. Instead, he steps forward, cups your cheek gently, and says, "I always notice you. Always." You swallow. Later, you find him dusting the bookshelf with your playlist playing softly in the background.

Philip Graves Graves wakes to birds chirping and the distant hum of traffic-and no you. At first, he thinks you're in the kitchen. Then the bathroom. Then the backyard. When all options fail, he starts panicking like a man late to the most important mission of his life. He calls once- no answer. Twice. Nothing. Then you walk in like nothing happened, holding hardware store bags. "Surprise, I fixed the squeaky door! "You barely finish the sentence before you're pulled into his arms. "You don't disappear on a man like that," he grumbles. "You nearly gave me a damn heart attack." You smirk. "I'm fine." "And now you're grounded."

Alex Keller Alex stretches, yawns, and rolls over-right into a pillow instead of your chest. Weird. You always sleep in. He checks the kitchen. Nothing. His smile fades. You're nowhere. He calls out, heart rate climbing. Still nothing. He's mid-shoe when you swing the door open, humming, carrying iced coffee and groceries. "Morning!" "Where were you?!" he blurts. "I thought I got dumped while dreaming!" You blink. "I wanted to surprise you with donuts!" "You surprised me with abandonment." He scoffs, yanks you into a hug. "You're not allowed to go places alone. Even the donut shop." "You'll follow me to the bathroom at this rate." Correct."

Farah Karim Farah is a light sleeper, so waking up to an empty bed already has alarms blaring. She checks her phone. Nothing from you. She's dressed and out the door in five minutes, scanning the neighborhood like she's tracking a fugitive. Just as she's about to call your entire contact list, you stroll up with a tote full of fruit and a grin. "You were out of oranges." She freezes. "You didn't leave a note." "You were sleeping." She doesn't scold, not really.Just walks over, rests her forehead to yours, and murmurs, "Next time, wake me up. I'd rather go with you even if it's just for oranges."

Hadir Karim Hadir wakes to birds and light and a quiet he doesn't trust. He checks your side of the bed. Cold. House? Empty. Car? Gone. No message. His pulse spikes, mind jumping to conclusions faster than reason can catch up. He's about to call when you waltz in with a grin and a bag of takeout. "I thought I'd surprise you!" "You did. I thought I was being ghosted in real time." You laugh, but he's serious-hands trembling as they cradle your waist. "Next time," he murmurs, eyes intense, "let me worry about you with you in the car." You promise. He doesn't let go for hours.

Kate Laswell Kate notices your absence immediately. The house is always full of your sound- your humming, your clutter, your warm presence. Now? Just quiet. She checks every room. Nothing. Her jaw tightens. Her hands shake. Was she too late? Did you just... leave? Then the front door opens, and you breeze in, cheeks flushed, holding a little box. "I went to the post office!" She exhales like she's been holding her breath for hours. "Jesus, Y/N." "I brought you that rare tea you love?" "You almost brought me an early funeral." She pulls you into her arms, voice soft. "Don't ever go missing like that again."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap kicks off his boots, humming as he dumps the groceries on the counter. "Babe?" he calls out to thin air. Crickets. Just his own echo and a sinking feeling. His phone buzzes. Your name. He stares at the screen like it's cursed. "Wait-NO. OH SHIT." He picks up, already halfway out the door. "I LEFT YOU IN THE FROZEN PEAS." You're swearing. Rightfully. He's in his car breaking every speed limit like it's a rescue mission. When he finds you arms crossed in front of the checkout lane, he skids to a stop, flings the door open, and blurts, "I PANICKED.I THOUGHT YOU GOT IN THE TRUNK." Never lives it down.

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost unlocks the front door, drops the bags, and sighs into silence. Strange. You're usually chatting by now. He checks the Living room. Bedroom. Bathroom. His brows furrow. Then his phone rings. Your tone is deadly. "Care to explain why I'm sitting next to a vending machine at the store?" There's a beat of silence. "...Fuck." He turns right around. Doesn't say much, but floors it all the way back. When he finally pulls up and sees you tapping your foot with arms crossed, he gets out, sheepish. "...I thought you were quiet." You stare. He slips his mask up just enough to kiss your forehead. "I'm an idiot. Get in."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz is halfway through unpacking snacks when he realizes: he bought your snack but not you. The call comes in just as he drops a pack of Oreos. You don't even speak- just breathe. Menacingly. "Oh no," he whispers. "I'm the worst boyfriend ever." He rushes back, coat half on, shoe untied, muttering apologies to the wind. When he pulls up, you're sitting on the curb sipping from a juice box with murder in your eyes. "You left me." "I know!" he gasps. "I got distracted by the new flavor of crisps!" You don't respond. You just get in and buckle your seatbelt like a disappointed mother. He brings you takeout for penance.

John Price Price is already halfway through making tea at home when your call comes in. He glances at the caller ID, confused." Everything alright?" "No," you hiss, "I'm still at aisle seven!" He freezes, slowly turns to look at the front door like it might reverse time. "Bloody hell." He mutters a curse and sprints back out the door like he' s back on deployment. When he pulls up to the store, you're standing there with the most unimpressed look he's ever seen. "You left me." "Temporarily," he tries. You raise a brow. He sighs, opens the passenger door, and places your tea in the cupholder. "Next time, you drive."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach is at home, fully stretched out on the couch, blanket on, snacks in hand, and halfway into a movie when his phone buzzes. He picks up with a chirp. You're silent. Then you whisper, "You forgot me." His jaw drops. He flips off the blanket, stumbles off the couch, and yelps, "WAIT WAIT WAIT I THOUGHT YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM!" He's out the door in less than a minute, hair wild, keys half in hand. When he screeches into the parking lot, you're staring at him like the apocalypse just arrived. He jumps out, nearly tackles you in apology. "I'LL BUY YOU ALL THE CANDY. DON'T HATE ME?"

Nikolai Nikolai is humming cheerfully, humming some old Russian folk song, flipping through radio stations when your name lights up on his phone. "Ah, my dove," he answers, still smiling. "Miss me already?" "I'm in the damn cereal aisle, Kolya." His smile freezes. "... You are not in the car?" The silence is deafening. He does a U-turn on a sidewalk. When he pulls up, you're there with a basket full of bread, unimpressed. He hops out, dramátically throws himself to his knees. Forgive me. I was so enchanted by your grocery choices, I assumed you had flown home by magic." You roll your eyes. He buys you pastries. All of them.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro saunters into the kitchen! whistling, grabs a drink, and looks around. Empty. He frowns. Then his phone rings." Alejandro," you say dangerously calm," where the hell am I right now?" His eyes go wide. "No. Nononono. No way." He's out the door like a hurricane, muttering apologies to every deity he can think of. He screeches into the store parking lot in record time, spotting you waving a baguette like a warning flag. "Mi amor," he breathes. "I am the biggest idiot in all of Mexico." "Agreed." He tosses you into a bridal carry dramatically. "Forgive me. I was bewitched by fruit prices." "Shut up and drive."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy is the sweetest, which is exactly why it breaks him when your voice crackles through the speaker, "Rudy. You left me." "No ...no I didn't!" he gasps. "You were RIGHT THERE-I thought you went to the car!" You're quiet. He's panicking. "I'll be there in three minutes-don't move!" He drives like the damn store is under attack. When he pulls up, you're standing under the neon lights Looking like divine judgment. "Mi amor, I'm so, so sorry," he blurts, holding your face, checking for frostbite even though it's 70 degrees. You sigh. "You owe me dinner." He nods rapidly. "Two.No, four."

Valeria Garza Valeria is on the couch sipping wine when you call. "What?" she answers. "Still in line," you growl. There's a long pause. She blinks." No estás aquí...?" Slowly, she lowers her wine glass. "Mierda." She hangs up, flings her coat on, and drives back like she's chasing someone. When she finds you by the self-checkout, she strides in like she owns the store. "They should've stopped me from leaving," she mutters. You glare." They?" "The cashier. The universe. You, for not jumping in front of the car." She loads your groceries, scowling. But later that night, there's your favorite dessert. And a muttered apology. Kind of.

Keegan Russ Keegan locks the door, drops the bags on the counter, shrugs off his jacket-and pauses. Something's... off. Too quiet. Too empty. Then his phone buzzes, and your voice cuts in:" Hey. Know what's funny? I'm still in the store. "There's a long pause. Then a dry, barely audible"...Fuck." He doesn't even respond- just turns right around and bolts. When he picks you up, he doesn't say much, but the way he opens the door and won't meet your eyes says everything. Later, back home, he makes you tea, triple checks the house for you every 5 minutes, and deadpans, "I should get a leash for you." You throw a sock at him.

König König walks into the house humming softly, groceries in hand, nervous energy fading- until he realizes he's alone. Alone. He left the most important person in his life somewhere. Panic sets in. His phone rings and he scrambles to answer. "Schatz?" Your icy tone slices through him: "You forgot me." His whole soul deflates. "I-I thought you were behind me! I didn't even scheiße!" He drives like he's in a race against guilt, murmuring anxious apologies the whole way. When he finds you, he fumbles to open the door, practically vibrating. "Please don't be mad." You glare, get in. Later, he doesn't leave your side for the entire night.

Nikto Nikto is already on the couch when your call comes in. "Hello?" he answers blankly. "Guess who you left next to the deli counter." A pause."...Fuck." He doesn't even say goodbye -just hangs up and storms out of the house like someone just lit it on fire. When he pulls into the lot, you're leaning against the wall with the driest expression imaginable. "Took your time." "I was halfway through putting milk away." "And you didn't wonder why it was so quiet?" "I liked the quiet." You smack him with a baguette. He lets you. On the ride home, he mutters, "Next time, I'm buying a tracker for you." You grin. "Try me."

Krueger Krueger enters the house like a ghost, silent and precise, unpacks the groceries and realizes... you're not here. His phone rings. Your voice is deadpan: "Did I vanish, or are you missing something?" He stares at the fridge. "Shit." He's back in the car in seconds, no words, just a growing hurricane of self- directed curses. When he sees you at the store entrance, arms crossed, he parks and walks up slowly. "I counted every single item. Forgot the one that matters." "That's cheesy," you huff. "You're lucky you're pretty." He doesn't argue. He loads your bag into the trunk, quietly buckles you in, and steals a kiss on your temple. "Never again."

Philip Graves Graves is all cocky grin and country charm until you call and hit him with, "Guess who you abandoned in the pasta aisle?" He laughs, thinking you're joking. Then silence. Then your unamused "You're at home, aren' t you?" And his soul leaves his body. "BABY FM ON MY WAY RIGHT NOW." He speeds like he's in a NASCAR race, screeches into the parking lot, leaps out of the car like it's a rescue op. "I thought you were in the passenger seat!" You just squint at him, arms folded. I was grabbing parmesan."" That's on me Later, he plasters on puppy eyes, makes dinner, and grovels so sweetly you forgive him.

Farah Karim Farah is already organizing the pantry when she realizes your shoes aren't by the door. She freezes. "No...." Her phone rings. "Farah," you say, "You left me." She's already grabbing her keys. "I thought you were right behind me shit, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" You're fine. You're mostly annoyed. When she pulls up, she's apologizing before she even gets out of the car. "Totally my fault. No excuses. Please climb in before I sit in public shame." You give her a hard time... for about five minutes. Later that night, she double-checks everything. Holds you longer than usual. "Next time," she murmurs, "I'll tie a string to your wrist."

Hadir Karim Hadir has just kicked his feet up when the phone rings. "Hey-wait, why are you calling?" "Because I'm still sitting at the store." He blinks. "...What?" Then chokes. "I thought you went to grab something else! I- I left because I thought you were shit!" He runs to the car, no shoes, hoodie half-on, yelling at himself the whole way. When he finds you outside the store glaring like a deity of vengeance, he cringes. "Listen, mi amor, I made a mistake. A huge one. A biblical-level mistake." You don't respond. He drives you home in apologetic silence, and later, you find your favorite dessert in the fridge. No note. Just guilt-snacks.

Alex Keller Alex has already poured himself a drink and flopped on the couch when your name pops up. He grins as he answers. "Miss me already? "No, dumbass, you left me in the goddamn store." His face freezes in horror. "Wait. Waitwaitwait. I LEFT YOU?" You hear a loud crash. "I JUST DROPPED THE ICE TRAY. I'M ON MY WAY." When he picks you up, you're fuming. "You waved at me on the way out!"" THOUGHT YOU WERE WAVING GOODBYE!" He practically body-blocks the cart you're holding. On the ride home, he insists you sit shotgun while he plays your favorite music and begs for forgiveness in increasingly dramatic accents.

Kate Laswell Laswell is scrolling emails and sipping coffee when she notices the eerie stillness. Then she realizes-no footsteps. No voice. No you. Her phone buzzes. "Kate." "Yes?" "I'm still at the store." She slowly lowers her mug. "...I am officially a terrible person." She picks up her keys, all business, but when she sees you waiting at the curb with narrowed eyes, she chuckles. "In my defense, I assumed you were in the car because you're always in the car." You scoff. She opens the door. "You can be mad on the way home, but at least do it where there's heating." Later, she gives you a smirk and says, "Never again. Scout's honor.

John "Soap" MacTavish You drift together, tethered by laughter and buoyancy, Soap's string tangling with yours in the warm wind. He bobs higher than you at first-spirited, eager, chasing clouds like they're dreams-but he always dips back to nudge your side, like a playful bump of shoulders. The sun glints off his surface, bright blue and shining, and he spins slowly midair to make you laugh. "Race you to the horizon," he says, though he never actually gets far without circling back. When a gust threatens to split you, he twines his string tighter around yours, anchored by nothing but loyalty. "Don't worry," he whispers." Wherever you float, I'm going too."

Simon "Ghost" Riley Ghost floats in near silence, a dark shape against the brilliant blue, drifting just close enough to cast a comforting shadow over you. He doesn't speak much-doesn't need to. You feel him beside you in every subtle current, every calm breeze that keeps you steady. His string brushes yours once, soft and deliberate, and it sends a shiver down your ribbon. "Still with me?" he murmurs, so quiet it might be the wind. You nod-if balloons could nod and drift a little closer. He lets you. He always lets you. Beneath his matte surface, there's warmth, loyalty, and a quiet promise: he will never let you drift away alone.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick Gaz is the kind of balloon that laughs at passing birds, that spins in place just to see the world upside-down. Your strings dance around each other like a shared joke, a whispered inside moment the clouds can't hear. "Look at that," he says, pointing with a nudge of ribbon at a plane far below. "That used to scare me." You float beside him, your ribbon grazing his with the softness of starlight. "But now?" you ask. He glows like dusk-lit silver. "Now I've got you up here." When wind pulls you both toward a new horizon, he's the one who tugs gently back. "Together, yeah?"

John Price Price floats steadily, a deep navy blue against the orange-pink sky, his every movement deliberate and calm. You drift beside him, sometimes higher, sometimes lower, but he's always the one to keep you balanced when the wind grows unpredictable. He says things like "storm's coming" just before the clouds roll in, and wraps your string tight in his. "We' Il weather it," he promises. And you believe him. He's a steady hand in a world of currents, a quiet strength in a sky that never stops shifting. When the stars blink awake and silence fills the air, he bumps gently against your side and whispers, "I wouldn't float this far with anyone else."

Gary "Roach" Sanderson Roach loops and twirls through the sky like he's forgotten gravity even existed. You're tethered together by joy, not knots, your strings knotting and unknotting playfully as you chase birds and sunlight. He plays tag with clouds and sings with the breeze, pulling you into spontaneous spirals that leave your ribbon warm with laughter. Sometimes he'll dart ahead, only to swing back like a kite and nuzzle your side with a chirp of, "Miss me?" But when the sky grows still and evening settles like hush, he anchors his ribbon in yours and simply floats beside you, cheek to cheek. "Don't worry," he murmurs. "I'll always float back."

Nikolai Nikolai drifts like a balloon that's seen every every continent of cloud, every breath of wind. He floats beside you with a quiet confidence, always chuckling at the world far below. "Did I ever tell you about the time I got stuck in a radio tower?" he asks, brushing your side with a warm static buzz. He lets you tug ahead, then gently reels you back with a flick of his tether. "Careful, dorogoy. Don't let the wind steal you." His voice is the hum of an engine, his presence the calm after a thunderclap. He's not flashy. But in a sky of endless unknowns, he's the balloon that always knows the way home.

Alejandro Vargas Alejandro floats like he's dancing- spinning, dipping, occasionally diving down just to pop back up beside you with a grin. "This sky?" he says, twining his ribbon with yours, "It's ours now." He leads you into cotton-candy clouds, points out sun halos and flying flocks, laughs when you bump into him by accident. "I don't mind," he says. "Bump into me forever." He's vibrant, all golds and reds, a glowing ember in the sky that never dims beside you. Even when storms loom, he floats boldly ahead, casting a glow you can follow. "Let's be the story they tell," he says, "the two balloons that outran the wind."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy drifts gently beside you, quiet and kind, the kind of balloon that hums lullabies to the breeze. When you tremble in high winds, he floats a little closer, his ribbon brushing yours like a promise. "We'll be okay," he says, soft and sure. He always notices the little things-the glint of light through thin clouds, the slow shift of color in the sky-and shares them with you in murmured awe. You don't need to speak much. It's enough to float together. When the stars come out, Rudy wraps your strings together and says, "Let's stay like this a while. I've never seen the sky look this beautiful. Not until you."

Valeria Garza Valeria soars like a meteor-fast, commanding, unbothered by turbulence. You struggle to keep up at first, your string tugged toward her orbit. "Stay close," she smirks, looping behind you. "I bite." But you learn her rhythm, and soon you're flying beside her through dangerous air, laughing into the roar of wind. She teases, nudges, dares the sky itself to try and stop her. But when dusk settles and you drift quietly together, she's the one to gently hook her string through yours, pulling you close. "Not bad, cariño," she whispers. "You float like you belong here -with me." And just like that, the sky doesn't feel lonely anymore.

Keegan Russ Keegan drifts in silence most of the time-a muted grey-blue balloon that keeps just enough distance to keep watch, but not too far to lose you. When stronger winds blow, he 's always the first to adjust, gliding back toward you with a quiet presence that grounds everything. "I've got you," he says softly when your string tangles, and you believe him because even the sky seems to calm when Keegan's close. He doesn't dance like the others. He orbits. Guards. Protects. But when he loops his ribbon around yours and stays beside you as starlight falls across the world, there's no doubt you are his chosen horizon. And he's not drifting anywhere without you.

König König floats carefully, his large form catching the wind like a sail. He's always a bit hesitant to get too close, but when he sees you-light, warm, glowing against the sky-he inches nearer, letting your string brush against his." Too much?" he asks, bashful even as a balloon. But you bump into him with a gentle twirl, and König lets out a shy laugh, his movements growing lighter. Together, you float above the clouds, his string wrapped cautiously around yours like a soft promise. "Danke," he whispers as you drift beside him. For once, he doesn't feel like a looming presence. With you, he feels light. He feels safe. He feels... Like he belongs.

Nikto Nikto's balloon is darker than most, rougher around the edges, floating at odd angles like it doesn't follow the rules of air. But when he sees you, he slows. Shadows stretch across his surface, but you, with your warmth and unshaken tether, never drift away. You ask no questions. You simply glide near, your string brushing his without fear. "You're not scared?" he asks, a note of surprise in his voice. You nudge his side in reply. He doesn't laugh but something changes. He starts floating beside you instead of ahead or behind. He doesn't talk much. But when you drift into a dangerous gust, it's his ribbon that locks with yours. You're safe now.

Krueger Krueger floats like a ghost, almost soundless, a whisper of silk against the sky. Most balloons give him space-but not you. You glide right up beside him, no fear, no hesitation. He watches with quiet curiosity as your ribbon curls against his, bringing warmth to his muted path. "You're strange," he says. You smile. "So are you." You don't fill the air with chatter. You just float, quiet, constant, always there even when the clouds turn grey. Krueger lets your string wrap with his. Doesn't pull away. "I never meant to drift this close," he admits one evening, "but now that I have.... I won't let go. He never does.

Philip Graves Graves is loud, golden, and inflated to the brink of bursting with pride-he floats like he owns the entire sky. He swoops, he loops, he yells greetings at birds and demands the wind follow his route. And then he sees you- drifting quietly, brightly, confidently. "Well well," he smirks, gliding toward you. "You new around here?" You bump his side with teasing affection. He pretends he's still the boldest balloon in the sky, but slowly, he starts following your pace. Matching your flight Letting your ribbons twist with his like dance partners. He still boasts, still performs. But the truth? He's never felt lighter than when you're beside him, weightless and real.

Farah Karim Farah floats with purpose. She watches the wind patterns, calculates the altitude, and never lets the sky push her somewhere she hasn't chosen. But the moment she spots you- drifting freely, laughing into the air-something in her softens. You nudge her ribbon. She pauses. Then... she drifts with you. "I didn't expect this," she says one night. "To enjoy letting go." You smile. She smiles back. The clouds are easier to navigate with you nearby, and glance sidewasharp, thoughtful eyes often to check on you. "This wind?" she says, wrapping her ribbon loosely around yours. "It's nothing. Not when I've got you." You help her soar without carrying the sky alone.

Hadir Karim Hadir floats recklessly, like he's daring the sky to challenge him. He zips through clouds, dives and spins and kicks up tiny windstorms in his wake. But the moment you appear-shimmering, light, tethered only by the faith that someone will float beside you- he stops. "Where've you been hiding?" he asks with a crooked grin. You tease him, darting just out of reach, until he laughs and gives chase. His ribbon wraps around yours mid-spin, and neither of you lets go. From then on, no matter how fast the wind, you're always close-racing, spiraling, flying. And sometimes, in the hush before dawn, he slows just enough to say, "Stay in my sky, yeah?"

Alex Keller Alex floats with ease, like the sky is a rhythm he's always known. He bumps into you on a breeze, string brushing yours with an accidental grace. "Hey," he says. "Didn't think I'd meet anyone up here." You smile. He sticks around. He hums songs to the clouds, makes jokes when thunder rumbles, tugs your ribbon into lazy loops of affection. "Isn't it wild?" he whispers. "That we get to do this?" And when your ribbon tangles or the wind howls a little too hard, he's right there untangling, holding steady. "I got you," he says. "Wherever we go." You don't float anymore. You fly, together.

Kate Laswell Laswell floats with sharp eyes and steady flight, cutting through the clouds like she's scouting the entire horizon. But when you appear-curious, soft, pulling silly loops- she can't help the smile. "You're not very aerodynamic," she teases, drifting closer." Neither are you," you shoot back, bumping her gently. And just like that, you're tied together two balloons riding the windstorm of life, hers guiding, yours lighting the path. She murmurs coordinates when you drift, reassures you when skies turn dark. And when all is calm, and the stars blink to life, she whispers, "There's no one else I'd rather float through forever with."

John "Soap" MacTavish Soap thinks he's seen it all-explosions, screaming officers, Ghost without caffeine. But nothing prepares him for you, storming down the hallway, eyes ablaze, flinging your jacket off like you're about to throw hands with gravity itself. "What did he say to you?" he asks, half-laughing until you hiss out the details. His smile dies. You're pacing, cursing in a dozen dialects, and suddenly shoving a heavy chair across the room like it insulted your family name. Soap just stares. "Sweetheart. he begins carefully. You snap your head toward him. "Never mind." He salutes. "I'm on your side. I will bury that guy. He's terrified. And slightly turned on. You, furious, are a force of nature.

Simon "Ghost" Riley At first, Ghost doesn't react. You're silent, twitchy. Too silent. Then suddenly, slam-a door nearly flies off its hinges. You throw your phone onto the table, muttering death threats through clenched teeth. When you start pacing like a caged predator, eyes burning, Ghost pauses mid-coffee sip.".You ¿ okay?" you spin around, voice low and cold. "If I see him again, I'm rearranging his internal organs like IKEA furniture." Ghost just blinks. "Right," he mutters. "Got it. Noted. "He's killed men quieter than you're breathing right now. He offers to hold the metaphorical shovel. And maybe the literal one. You in rage mode? Terrifying. And- damn it-dead sexy. He hides the smirk behind his mask.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick You explode into the kitchen like a tornado, swinging your bag onto the counter and yelling "I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GOING TO COMMIT A NON- SPECIFIC CRIME." Gaz chokes on his tea. "Wh- what happened?" You launch into a full-scale reenactment of the offense-complete with impressions, voices, and aerial gestures. Your fury is cinematic. Fire. Fury. Fingerguns of wrath. Gaz just stares, wide-eyed, somewhere between laughing and sprinting for cover." Babe," he says softly. "You're.... majestic right now. Also maybe on a watchlist?" When you start plotting vengeance with the precision of a war general, he stands back and says, "I love you, but I'm not telling you where I keep the zip ties."

John Price You're pacing the room like a general before battle, snapping your fingers and muttering No, no, no, that's it I'm ending him. I'm buying a cannon." Price calmly puts down his tea. "A cannon?" You whirl on him, voice ice. "Do not try to calm me down, John." He raises his hands. "Didn't say a word." You &continue-raging, planning, monologuing Like a Shakespearean villain. You're so terrifying even the dog hides behind the couch. Price just leans against the doorframe, arms crossed, thoroughly impressed. "I'm not scared of many people," he admits. "But you? You could command an army of demons and win. I'll drive the getaway car.

Gary "Roach" Sanderson You normally hum when cooking. Today? The knife hits the cutting board so hard Roach ducks behind the fridge. You're venting in rapid-fire fury, slamming cabinet doors, and using vegetables to reenact the person who pissed you off until you yeet a whole cucumber across the room. Roach peeks out "Babe?" He dodges a flying carrot. You pause, pointing dramatically." Do not try to calm me. I will lose it." He nods slowly. "Got it. Chaos only." He sets down a pint of ice cream as tribute and sits silently on the floor while you threaten to burn a government office down to the pipes. He'll bring marshmallows if it happens.

Nikolai Nikolai thinks he knows fury. Then you walk in eyes sharp, coat whipping behind you like you just declared war. You mutter something in a language even he doesn't recognize and slam your hand on the table, I need an alibi," you say. He blinks. "I have twelve. You begin listing infractions committed by some unfortunate fool, your voice getting colder, gestures sharper. He doesn't interrupt. He just pours vodka and offers it like a blessing. "You want them gone?" he asks. "I have trucks." He has never been more terrified or smitten. You're a one-person coup d'état. The only thing he's certain of? He's staying on your good side. Forever.

Alejandro Vargas You stomp into the room, shouting in Spanish, your hands flailing like you're conducting a vengeful symphony. Alejandro watches in awe as you start throwing pillows, ranting with such dramatic flair you nearly trip over the coffee table. "Someone messed with you?" he asks, deadly serious. "Point me at them." You growl something unintelligible and start Googling "how to build a medieval catapult in a backyard." He grabs his keys." We ride at dawn." He doesn't dare touch you, not yet. You're a wildfire in human form. Later, when you've cooled, he brings you water and a kiss to the forehead. "Mi amor... remind me never to piss you off. I like living."

Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra Rudy's never seen you like this. Eyes glowing, voice sharp as a blade, you rip into the air like a thunderstorm. "I'm not angry you snart. "I'm motivated." He instinctively straightens like he's back in basic training. Yes, sergeant." You throw your coat onto a lamp and start typing aggressively so hard the keyboard begs for mercy. Rudy brings you a glass of water, only to retreat when you growl, "Not now. I'm planning ruin." He's both terrified and extremely impressed. When you mutter something about bribing a city councilman, he just says, "Let me know if you need a map." Later, he'll rub your back and whisper, "Remind me never to cross you, carino."

Valeria Garza You kick open the door. Valeria turns, brows raised, just in time to see you throw your bag onto the floor and scream," SOMEONE IS GOING TO DIE AND I'M READY TO GO TO JAIL" She whistles. "Damn, cariño! Tell me everything." You explode into a tirade, pacing like a tiger in stilettos, voice like a dagger. Halfway through, you knock over a vase on purpose and shout, "WHO NEEDS THIS? I DON'T EVEN LIKE FLOWERS." Valeria claps, delighted. "Get it out, mi vida. Want me to help you find their address?" You throw yourself on the couch, fuming. She curls beside you, whispering, "You're beautiful when you want blood."

Keegan Russ Keegan's been interrogated by war criminals and faced down tanks-but when he hears you muttering like a witch in Latin, pouring hot sauce directly onto your hand and staring into the void, he freezes. You haven't blinked in four minutes. "Babe?" he ventures. You turn slowly. "They. Ate.My.Lunch. Again." Keegan glances at the fridge. "I'll make a new one." "NO, "you hiss. "Now they die." You disappear into your room and come out with a spreadsheet of coworkers and timestamps. Keegan backs up slowly. "Got it. I'm on your team." You're still mumbling hexes. He never eats anything in the office again. He sleeps with one eye open. And a little aroused.

König You rarely get angry.König notices the shift when you go dead silent. You're pacing. Hands clenched. Breathing measured. Then boom. You flip an entire chair with one hand. He jolts. "Mein Gott..." You don't yell. You seethe, every syllable like a slow-boil pressure cooker. You describe someone's betrayal in chilling detail, eyes locked on a single point like a sniper. König doesn't speak. Doesn't move. When you mutter "I'll make them wish they were never born," he quietly hands you a blanket, lights a calming candle, and gets out of your way." Do you... want backup?" he whispers. You nod once. He follows. Fully geared. No questions asked.

Nikto Nikto walks in to find you disassembling a blender with a hammer. "It betrayed me," you say. He pauses. "The blender?" "And the man who gifted it." You look possessed-eyes wild, hair messy, muttering about thermonuclear revenge. You're already halfway through a revenge PowerPoint with flames and dramatic fonts. Nikto leans against the wall, arms crossed "Do I need to hide the bodies?" You freeze, smirk, then whisper, "You get me." The rest of the night is a chaotic montage of you planning revenge with too many Post-it notes and him quietly sharpening knives in the background. He doesn't calm you down. He helps. That's love in the darkest language.

Krueger Krueger notices the signs: the slow blink, the quiet muttering, the faint scent of ozone like the gods are angry. You're not screaming-you're plotting. And that's worse. "What did they do?" he asks. You just say, "They parked in my space." He nods. That's enough. Within an hour, you've printed fake violation notices, designed a hex sigil, and somehow programmed their car horn to moo. Krueger watches you, fascinated. "I thought I was the scary one," he murmurs. You give him a look that chills bone. "I'm soft until provoked." That night, he brings you a gas mask and flowers. Just in case you want to escalate.

Philip Graves Graves strolls in like usual, whistling-until The sees the broken lamp, scattered papers, and you pacing like a southern tornado with vendetta. "Oh hell. What happened?" You spin, voice venom. "They messed up the order again and gaslit me about it." Graves freezes. You're not yelling. You're hissing. Scheming. He's seen coups planned with less energy. "You gonna torch the place?" he asks casually. "No," you whisper. "I'm gonna own it." He grins. "That's my baby." He pours you a whiskey, hands you his card, and says, "Need Legal loopholes? I got people." He won't stop you. He'll cheer you on from the sidelines. Or carry you out of the courtroom.

Farah Karim Farah's tough. Disciplined. Controlled. So when you march into the room, slamming open drawers and ranting about institutional incompetence with fire in your eyes, she raises a brow. "What happened?" "They lost my file again," you spit. "I'm going to teach the whole damn system a lesson in fear." She watches, silently impressed as you draft a complaint so eloquent it makes her nervous. You reference laws. You cite legal codes. You threaten politely-with footnotes. She sips her tea. "Remind me never to cross you." When your fury finally simmers, she wraps her arms around you and says, "I'm proud of you. That was terrifying. And beautiful"

Hadir Karim You come in like a sandstorm-loud, blazing. flinging your bag at the wall. Hadir barely has time to blink before you're screaming into a pillow, kicking a shoe across the room, and muttering about vengeance through gritted teeth. "Who wronged you?" he asks, deadly calm. You growl. "I'll make them regret their bloodline." He tilts his head. "You want a diversion or a distraction?" You freeze. Then o grin. "Both. He leans in and says, "I know a guy who can make a goat vanish from a courthouse." You don't ask. You just nod. Together, you plan chaos, wrapped in domestic rage and criminal possibility. He thinks you're glorious. He also hides the knives sometimes.

Alex Keller Alex walks in mid-rant. You're yelling at the TV, the phone, the oven, and capitalism. All at once. "Freakin' corporate vampire clowns!" you shout. He sets down his bag. "Someone's spicy today." You whirl around, pointing a spatula. "Spicy?! I AM A WAR CRY!" You're red in the face, dramatic as a theatre kid on caffeine. Alex backs up slowly. "Noted. You want me to hold your earrings?" You throw yourself onto the couch and scream into a cushion. He flops beside you, pats your back, and whispers, "Let me help you draft the email We'll burn them professionally." He stays quiet when you rage. But he always proofreads your battle letters.

Kate Laswell Laswell returns to find the house in tactical Lockdown: lights dimmed, windows shut, your warboard up. "Darling?" she calls. You appear from the shadows with a stapler in hand. "They think I'm a fool," you whisper." They.Will Learn." You explain the betrayal passive-aggressive work email, gaslighting manager, and all Laswell listens carefully, then says, "You want this handled legally or with plausible deniability?" You blink. "Yes," She sits down beside you and opens her laptop. "Alright then. Let's destroy a man." The only thing scarier than you when you're mad... is Laswell helping. Together, you're unstoppable. Also banned from three message boards.