Enjin keeping an eye on new recruit Cleaner!Jabber because whatever he's got going on with Zanka is weird. It's weird!
And Enjin agreed to let the little freak join, so Enjin is gonna feel responsible if anything happens to Zanka because of it. ’Cause this one-sided obsession with the kid just isn’t burning out.
Every few days, one or both of them are in Eishia’s infirm with some new injury from trying to kill each other. And it’s not the kid’s fault or nothin’. He’s just not one to give in, so what’s he supposed to do? Jabber’s on the hunt for blood any time he’s awake, and the other Cleaners can only keep him from crossing paths with his muse for so long. Zanka’s a good kid, but he’ll never pass up a chance to prove himself, no matter how Enjin asks.
They both just got cleared for missions today and, the way he’s been lookin’ at the kid during training, he’s gonna land one or both of ’em back in Eishia’s care. But it’s been bugging him—the way Zanka looks back. ’Cause Jabber’s half-drooling at him.
Zanka’s itching for a fight, maybe. Training Rudo means Zanka has a lot less time for extra sparring. He could just be missing the extra practice and attention, but Enjin watches them have half a conversation with their eyebrows, and then Zanka, spitefully, pointedly, picks someone else as his partner for the warm-up. Jabber stares after him with this funny look on his face. Half smiling, like he’s heard his own private joke. His expression flattens when Gris pairs up with him. But… Jabber’s always laughing at something. Should he really be picking this one instance apart?
Enjin supposes he’s been here a month already, and he’s been hounding Zanka’s door the whole time. It’s not that weird that they’re starting to communicate a bit better. It’s happening a little faster than he’d expected, but doesn’t that mean Jabber’s integrating into the team well? It is Enjin’s job to care about that. If they know how to talk to each other, maybe they can learn to coexist without breaking ribs or stabbing the other with fucking rattlesnake venom—like anti-venom is easy to come by on the Ground, but whatever.
They’re grown; he should leave them to it.
And then Enjin remembers the first time he met Jabber. The dude was whining that he could only get so hard off the idea of getting his ass beat by the Cleaners. And he thinks of Kyouka. Yeah, that’s an ass-whooping he’d be obliged to accept and would never recover from.
Nope. For a little while longer, he’ll stick his nose in.
Anyway, he just asks the kid, hoping he’s banked up enough goodwill and big-bro points that Zanka just tells it to him straight.
“Going on? Nothing’s going on with me and him. He’s infuriating,” Zanka mutters instead.
“How so?”
“Uh? Y’know already! You’ve been around him.”
Yeah, Enjin has his own qualms with the little freak, but he was asking Zanka.
“Could… you be more specific?”
“Well…” And Zanka’s pupils get all shifty, and he stammers out something worse than anything Enjin ever pulled out his ass at Zanka’s age.
“Alright, kid,” Enjin cuts in, relieving him, and sends him on his merry way. Worth a shot.
Anyway, a few days later he catches the start of one of their fights while loitering on rooftops with a handy pair of binoculars, for no particular reason. They just healed up. It’s bad for them to be constantly nursing something broken, despite how much of a freak Jabber is where pain is involved. Nah. He’s intervening this time.
That is, until he sees Zanka grab the front of Jabber’s shirt and pull him in to whisper something. And from here, Enjin can see Jabber’s grin widen, splitting his face in two. Jabber turns and plays lookout while Zanka?? picks the lock for the storeroom behind them?? A second of fiddling later, and Zanka grabs Jabber by the purple cloth behind him, pulls him into the storeroom, and shuts the door behind them.
Oh. Well, shit. That complicates things.
Firsts stick in a way that you don’t really get to choose. Enjin thinks back on himself at Zanka’s age. No fucking shot he could’ve entertained anything with someone like Jabber without doing some permanent damage to his brain. Nor could he at eighteen, nineteen—hell, twenty. But Zanka isn’t him. Is he really allowed to stop him from choosing at all?
He stares at the shut door. And the cracked window someone inside closes the blinds on. He’s pretty sure what’s going on in there, but on the off chance that he’s wrong—and Zanka does need some help…
Ughhhh. He’s about to see or hear something he doesn’t wanna know about, isn’t he?
He doesn’t sneak to the storeroom; he just walks right up. If they’re gonna notice him and stop, he’ll give them every opportunity. He doesn’t even have to get that close to the open window. He sees the back of Jabber’s head pressed back into the glass, a flash of pale fingers wrapped around his throat.
Jabber’s voice is breathless, strained. He sounds desperate—wrecked, as if they’d been in there hours already. Oh, to be young again.
“Careful, Mr. Bad Attitude. I’m delicate, y’know.”
Zanka’s voice is sharper. More in control—but only just.
“Shuddap, like ya haven’t been beggin’ me for it. You—”
Yep. That’s enough confirmation for Enjin, putting some blessed sound-dampening distance between them.
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Maladaptive deeply held belief: nobody could ever love me. Im going to die alone
Positive counterthought: maybe someone has an exceptionally rare form of mental illness that would cause them to make the grave mistake of wanting to fuck me
i think as a writer, the older you get and the more you read, the more you realize there are very few actual truly bad ideas. which is a relief. but! the other thing you learn is that stories live and die on the execution and ha ha. lemme tell you. unfortunately. there are lots and lots of bad ways to execute an otherwise fine idea
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'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it
(goverment voice) we need to protect the children from pornography so our plan is to remove their eyes so they would never see something so traumatic. if you are against removing children's eyes you are basically a pedophile
(government voice) My esteemed opponent poses an existential threat to humanity. No, not because of the thing about removing childrens' eyes. That's actually SUPER based. Hell, let's remove their ears too, so they don't accidentally hear a swear. No, my opponent is evil because their name is a different color from mine and for no other reason.
(Government voice) We are here to mourn the passing of my esteemed colleague from the party with the different color from mine. His legacy includes mandating the removal of the eyes and ears of all children and mandatory secret inspections at every bathroom door, demonstrating a lifelong commitment to the safety of all children. While the rumors of his having eaten children regularly for dinner have been confirmed, we should not let that color our celebration of his life or the happy trips he took with us to discuss job matters!
Like Jabber is freaked out in the way he talks, in the way he fights, in all the sexual innuendos but in reality he is a touch adversed demisexual virgin that has a vivid imagination.
Basically Jabber equivalent to a aspec/inexperienced teen fanfic writer who write the most raunchiest but best smut of all time.
Then on top of that, him meeting a real freak. Zanka. Cause that man gets bitchesssss. Which all come about accidentally. Zanka would never go out looking for someone, they find him. He also has had baby gay experiences since his hellgaurd training days.
Ugh just imagine Zanka realization that Jabber is not actually freaked out in practice, he’d wreck him.
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Louiiiiiie. Im trying so hard to be empathetic toward ya babe but god you make it so hard.
He's so painfully, appallingly selfish and hypocritical. Louis the pimp riding the coat tails of other people's hard work can't even have an interview about his own life without using the diary of a woman who fucking hated him as a primary source. Can't remember shit and even still chopped up her words in whatever way makes him look best.
Uses the pages of Claudias diaries to emotionally jerk off into every time he's feeling kinda down.
He drags her back from the dead after killing her because he needs her to hear his apology 🥺
She flames the fuck out of him. Mogs any flowery bullshit Louis 'Deep' Point de lac ever came up with in his interview with monologue of monologues because everything creative about him was her reheated nachos.
IWTV from Claudia perspective would be a psychological horror
Okay but my theory that while Eisha is changing for the better, Zanka is changing for the worse really fits with this because he’s got the wrong idea about what he needs to change about himself — he thinks he needs to get physically stronger to show he deserves to exist, rather than accepting that he doesn’t need to prove himself to be loved and becoming emotionally stronger — which is why he looks so angry because he’s going to get more sadistic and perhaps make bad decisions (aka hunting Jabber for sport) in his brutality as Perfectionism = Violence = Strength.