TheTimeLINE

By Michael B. Salazar

The Adventist University of the Philippines, the place I had chosen to study for almost 4 years for college has ruined my life. There is no other place that my parents could have willingly sponsored me to go to that would have would made me feel out of place and made me feel more like I was living in a prison. Before day one of my stay at the university, I have already heard some of the comments from friends and survivors of the university and what to expect, the only thing to get me through the four years was telling myself, “I’m only here for 4 years.”

I was born into a Seventh-Day Adventist home, always went to church with my parents every Saturday, and I was even active in my church choir for some time. Although I grew up going to public school, my close friends were the Filipino kids from my home church. The only two reasons why I chose to go to school in AUP was because, (1) financially I would save a lot of money and not be in debt when I graduate, and (2) according to a close friend from church, also an AUP alumni of 2009 told me that if I went to AUP that it would be the best years of my life.

The Attendance. When I got to AUP, not only was I culture shocked but I was shocked spiritually. First thing that made me harden my heart was the implementation of church attendance for all worship services and how there was relationship between attendance and whether or not you would graduate with academic honor or not. In addition to that, when I lived in the dormitory, I was not allowed to leave the university campus unless I attended worships at 5am and 7pm? Now that’s pushing it, literally. The idea of quantifying or measuring one’s spiritual practices by attendances disgusted me.

The Music. When I was in church, most songs were played by instruments and the percussion, if any, were merely accents, close to being heard softly to what seemed in some ears, unnoticeable. Issues with music came up when friends in religious singing groups relied on CD soundtracks but were not approved because of the perception of deep or rather effective incorporation of drums in the songs of the soundtracks. Non-academic events such as retreats, acquaintances, or any social event in general did not play just any type of music. All music played anywhere or associated in any way to the “AUP Kingdom” had to be approved by certain officials. Music was approved for the church or basically looked at as detrimental.

The Food. My first year in AUP, I have gone through the rite of passage of eating in the cafeteria by crunching down into what most people believed to be stones or rocks in the rice. Everything was vegetarian, not always tasty, but not always what I had in mind unless we are talking about champorado or fruits. The idea of cafeteria load or paying for it, I have no other comment other than, if we’re paying for food with money, then why does the “currency” in which we avail our food, “run out?”

The Small Groups. My second year at AUP, I joined a small group, small groups which are promoted by the university. This was the first time that I ever agreed to assuming a leadership position for taking charge of any form of ministry whatsoever in my college life. Never have I in my life been looked down upon in a group of other professed Christians just for simply being from North America and being perceived as fake, or even what felt like a useless cause or form for ministry. Criticism upon criticism and spices of drama.

Although I had to remind myself that my stay in the university was only temporary. The continuous struggles reminded me that for me to stay sane and continue to bear with circumstances, something greater than survival would have to keep my spirits up. How would I survive if I did not know what to survive with or what to survive for? Was I going to survive simply because I was to be “freed” at graduation? Because of the absence of financial debt related to education?

On March 19, 2014, I experienced a major turning point in my life. I had almost lost my life instantly due to an anaphylactic shock. I redefined my purpose in life thanks to Christ and I found a peace that nowhere and no one else in the world could have provided. After this experience I lived out the rest of the one year left that I had in AUP to surrender what I could to God and allow Him to work in my life and use me in whatever way He saw fit. He called me to give a sermon in two churches which I could have never done without Him and after that, my spiritual health grew like never before.

Now as a graduate, class of 2015, batch Quintessence of AUP, home sitting on my laptop typing out this message, I still feel a bit robbed, bitter, and saddened.

The Attendance. My local church has been emptier than ever, with my friends and younger youth that I had grown up with, far away from my church and even farther away in the faith. As my four years passed quickly, my friends and companions have also left my church in the same manner. I feel like I stand alone as a young adult in my church trying to encourage the youngest of youth to love God and to read their Bibles as I cling to whatever I can do to serve the Lord whether it’s singing to the elderly in nursing homes or help out in Pathfinders and serve as an assistant to our Pathfinder club director. I am alone.

The Music. I used to have over 1000 songs on my iPod and music library, but I dwindled down to 300 songs that are exclusively but not limited to gospel songs and some love songs. When I sit in the car with my friends and listen to the pop songs that come on and see the hip new dance crazes it seems as if everyone is being hypnotized, even more so when people listen to a “song” that has a catchy beat, but have foul lyrics, and they justify them listening to it because they believe that, “it has a catchy beat” and, “it doesn’t affect me.” I feel like I’m looking at zombies rock their head to the beat, relinquishing themselves to entertainment and lose God and His values willingly. I am heartbroken.

The Food. The long 4 years of desiring meat has lead me to meet the truth that meat is undesirable with all the compromises made to produce, manufacture and sell. It becomes trash to the body and it merely consists of drugs and hormones that pass off as “food.” Fast food starts to sound like it’s been chemically produced from a chemistry food lab that gets by with the label “edible” whereas I look back to AUP cafeteria and not only do I see that food as edible, but “sustainable.” How long is it possible to fast for?

The Small Groups. I forgive those who have judged, commented or have had ill feelings against me or my friends, I could understand that they may not understand the shoes that Americans are born into or possibly individuals are just harsh to judge and to desire damnation upon others. Anyway, I’m not serving a group anymore to serve the people, a student body, if I serve, I serve my local church and the members there. I am no pastor or well strengthened Bible scholar, but I have the passion and will to serve God whatever the circumstance I am given for the day. I miss the fellowships I had with people my own age who endured what I have endured in AUP, who know what I’m talking about when I talk about life in the Philippines away from home. The routine of having a weekly meeting to gather with other leaders of my small group to run a worship service or program is now a routine of do whatever you want - less responsibility, less work, less involvement, less service. What’s the point now?

I am robbed, bitter, and saddened. My life is ruined. The life that I knew to be well founded, to be preserved and to be firm was chipped away by AUP and by the little as well as big chunks of doctrines and practices that crept into my core. My life is not the same as I cannot merely sit idle knowing that what I know has power, experiencing God and His goodness first hand is not merely coincidence but evidence of Providence. When you see something amazing, how do you sit still and not share it? How does one become unmoved by something truly awesome? How does one live in a world or life of lies when you have already seen and known the truth?

The Adventist University of the Philippines is no perfect place with the perfect kind of people, but I could never think of another place more fit for me to prove and shape one’s character. We go to college for ourselves, but we educate ourselves for God, but we never truly graduate from God, His Word or His institutions. We are never finished or unsatisfied with God, His love, His goodness and His righteousness. As my eyes have been opened by my experience and exposure to God in my four years in AUP, the place that once felt like a prison, that made me feel like I had to be a survivor now looks like church that takes in refugees from the world’s worst conditions and rears them up as its advocates and sends them back into the world whether we like it or not. Then sooner or later, as its advocates we learn and realize that the world and its trendy doctrines are a prison and we are the ones to survive and stay away from it.

The attendance rule may be ugly, but it never insisted on giving an individual a reason to stop or hate going to church, we go to church and attend to seek God and fellowship with others as God would have us do. The discussion on music is argued, but when you personally come to realize how music is used, you will not bicker over the matter of drums or no drums, but you will ultimately be fighting for glory or for no glory for the Lord. Food, some people cannot afford, say you have expensive taste, but compared to no food, unless you are used to fasting, AUP food for the most part, this a blessing that sustains than the popular food of the world that deteriorates. For small groups, or whatever ministry we have, whether in few numbers or big numbers, we are working for the glory of God and to grant God His interest in souls to collect for His Second Coming, fighting with one another is far from granting God His glory. No group is better than the other especially if we exhaust more efforts to not get into His kingdom because we did not leave matters up to God in the first place.

As a fellow AUPian once asked, “Is there anything that AUP implements that goes against the Bible?” If it were so, this AUPian would not be at AUP. AUP ruins lives, it ruined my life, an old life that has no place in heaven. In my own personal spiritual journey, AUP has challenged me as well as God and His righteousness and faithfulness for me to live a new life, not the one I entered AUP with, but one that truly desires change that does not merely come from out from my mouth, from the desires of my heart, but comes from my soul. I challenge AUP students that are unsatisfied with AUP to not look at AUP, but to look to Christ, for it will take Christ not only to survive AUP, but to survive this world. Life after AUP does not involve God less but it involves Him more and as He transforms, your previous life without Him will be ruined and your soul will desire a new vessel a new life with Him, and He is all you can, should, and will cling to.

“And do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2

Before we can be transformed we need to acknowledge our need for the Holy Spirit which helps lead the way for the kind of life that we should live, a life closer and more in tune with Christ and His will. We need to plead for the Holy Spirit. If we do not truly have God in our hearts and lives through the Holy Spirit, it is impossible to really have true joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faith. Only when the Holy Spirit has FULLY and wholly possessed us can we truly experience the fruit of the spirit. We cannot just plead for the individual portions of the fruits of the spirit; we must plead for the whole fruit. Galatians 5:22 says “But the FRUIT of the Spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, LONGSUFFERING, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF-CONTROL. Against such there is no law.” When we are filled with fruit of the Spirit in our lives, it becomes so much more natural and automatic to be joyful, loving, kind, and patient. It just emanates from your entire being. When you bear these fruits for yourself, you would go through life knowing that you would not want to have any other fruit for yourself in this life that did not come from the Holy Spirit.

Our prayer should be, Lord, fill us with your Spirit. Clothe us with righteousness so that we may be able to minister unto others with true kindness, genuine joy, patience, peace, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,

That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;

That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,

May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;

And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,

Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.”

- Ephesians 3:14-21 KJV Special thanks to Ren for the additional elaboration on the fruits of the spirit and the input there.