Friend is going to ask me to be a donor... any advice?
I've been good friends with this girl for many, many years now. We'll call her Kelly. She's been married to "Jane" for a number of years now, were together for a number of years before their marriage, and friends for about a decade before that. They are both beautiful people, and have a very strong, and supportive family unit they are close with. At their wedding, we all got very drunk, and my friend Kelly "jokingly" asked me if I'd be the father to a baby for them. Her wife, Jane, said she couldn't think of anyone better. Skip ahead to last week, I'm texting my friend Kelly, just having a good catch up. They are now ready for a Baby, but said that IVF is just too expensive for them. They have been looking for a donor, but would rather prefer it to be done at home, preferably by someone they know and can trust. - She didn't ask me, but I know her. She's testing the waters, building up to ask me if my reaction is right. I'm in my 30s now, no relationship in sight, and my life-long want to be a father, I feel, is... not going well. My friends are both the same age as me, give or take a year or two. Whilst I'm aware if I were to say yes, it wouldn't exactly be my kid.... But it'd be nice to know that I guess... my genes will carry on? And I get to help my friends out be the people they always wanted to be. I'm in no state to be a father currently, even if I was with someone. So putting all the legal issues to one side for a moment... I'd love to hear from someone who's either been through this, or has considered it themselves. How did it go? What were/are your concerns? Good idea? Or bad idea? What sort of questions should I even be thinking about before making my decision? I guess my biggest concerns at the moment are: - The kid is more than likely going to inherit my mental health issues. It runs in the family, and has caused a LOT of members in my family a LOT of distress. Things have changed since I was born though... better support, understanding etc. - How will I feel when I see the baby? How will I feel when he/she starts to grow? When I visit my friend, and meet the baby in person? In 5 / 10 years time? - Will my OCD ultimately fixate on this, and drive me utterly crazy, into an early grave? - What if this is my only chance of, for lack of better words, leaving something positive behind once I'm gone?
