angel milk witch

i think i’m going to leave tumblr for a while. honestly things are really terrible for me right now and i don’t really know how to make it better, and i sort of don’t think it ever will because things have been this way for a long time. years but also my whole life. and i’m at a point where i can’t just not imagine varka liking me but illuga or flins either or even lohen i can’t picture any of them liking me. and obviously i cannot be around people when i’m Like This so i’m going to go until i’m better. i don’t know when that will be. thank you guys for following me and i hope you all have a good day and i hope you’re all here when i get back. sorry that i’m making a post like this

it’s a little weird because i really can’t picture varka being in love with me. i feel like i’m not his type at all. i feel like he’d like someone strong, someone who could keep up with him, someone who has their head on straight. but i’m an anxious boyfail who can barely hold myself together, i’m not strong and i’d suck as a knight of favonius because it’d make me sick to my stomach to hurt monsters like hilichurls and slimes and literally any living or even nonliving thing and i can barely take care of myself at all and i’m overly emotional and sensitive and insecure and needy and fragile, and i’m annoyingly stubborn and push people away when they try to help me or take care of me. and besides my short temper and my bratting i just don’t see my traits as traits varka would be attracted to. i just don’t think varka would like someone like me in that way. but i really want him to

honestly i feel like varka was in love with crepus and never fully moved on and didn’t think he ever would until he fell for me send tweet

oh also ykw i should write my sona as not being able to relax ever and being so tense and have a hard time cumming because of how unable to relax he is

was having a really good day and now i am feeling. very very very unwell. sorry for the incoming mental illness posting tm

sometimes i feel really bad tboy shame because i feel like i was cute as a girl but i don’t feel cute as a boy and then i think about a man calling me a good boy and i feel a little better. plus i think i’m just generally insecure because when i thought i was a girl i didn’t feel cute as a girl literally at all either

thought of how big varka would be next to me and got a little dizzy. just overall he is a Huge man. i am 159cm and he’s like. 205cm. but also like his hands would be so overwhelmingly big on me and. and his. his c—

just woke up from a nap that i struggled to wake up from and am still struggling to fully wake up from. surely lohen would not take advantage of this