The UnFateful Life

Gunpowder was invented by Chinese alchemists who were trying to find the elixir of life. Instead, they accidentally invented one of the most deadly substances that has ever existed.

When you sit on a toilet, your asshole becomes part of a massive network of interconnected assholes

You know you’re good friends with someone when you know your way around their kitchen

Thor is like a jock from school who everyone thought was average at best with school. But then one day someone just “Wait a second, he’s in all advanced classes,” and everyone realises that he’s never done anything to make people think he’s not super smart- he’s just so nonchalant about his smarts people didn’t notice

so who else gets irrationally afraid and embarrassed about their interests being known to people in real life

#i’m not embarrassed but#i hate the thought of having to guard what i love#and defend any of my interests to others#people are the worst i don’t want them to know me

I call this “residual anxiety from being bullied for everything that made me even slightly unusual every day in junior high.”

i jus wanna annoy 1 man for the rest of my life