Twerkin' my way downtown

you wet idiot

Godspeed you! wet idiot

If you don’t have actual wings to escape Crete with your son, home-made is fine

No It Isn’t

that “I wanna fuck that guys dead wife too” reddit post is one of the funniest interactions the Internet has ever seen

Canon micropenis representation

Be your own daddy, make your own sugar.

Anyone: u ok Me; yeah just thinking about how I’ll never be this young again and about how most of my youth has been lost to depression loneliness and self doubt lol

action movie directors really don’t understand that they could write the scariest, toughest, most badass line in movie history, and it still wouldn’t come close to the moment in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagment, when viscount mabrey of genovia said, “sir you will find that the word ‘fear’ is not in my vocabulary!!” and joe didn’t even fucking blink before replying, “Perhaps… But it’s in your eyes.”

How do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humor

I was wondering where this was going and lemme tell you I fell out of my chair

I refuse to believe any of these are real

All of these look like my attempts to draw animals

this is absolutely ridiculous. I am in SHOCK and I am in AWE

Is that kitty wearing a photo of himself?

TERRIFIC stuff by the cat!

As cat owners we like to joke about how the cat is the one who’s really in charge, but let’s be honest here: my cats think they’re in charge, but they’re also fucking dumbasses. It’s sort of an incompetent-king-and-long-suffering-advisor arrangement, if the king were prone to getting their head stuck in Kleenex boxes.