And Everything by Samiksha Saiprakash

There’s a reason Alina and Nikolai’s friendship is so good, and why platonic besties fits them so much better than lovers.

Nikolai is lonely - he doesn’t have real friends. He has Tolya and Tamar, but they’re more like his guards at the point that we meet them (becoming more like family as the story progresses). 

And just think about it. Think about being in Nikolai’s shoes, KNOWING you have to marry for politics. Marry someone you barely know, might not even like, and then be tasked with spending all your free time with them and make babies with them, etc. 

It’s scary, right?

In Alina, Nikolai found a FRIEND. He found someone he could talk to, who he genuinely enjoyed the company of, and who seemed to like him back. If he has to marry someone he doesn’t love, at least it could be someone he sees as a friend and can tolerate (and vice versa). The foundation was there, and sure, maybe in time, feelings could develop. 

Of course, we all know Alina didn’t see Nikolai that way, and even Nikolai is aware that Mal is the one she loves. But that didn’t bother him, because, again - Alina was a friend. Versus marrying a stranger who might try and backstab him one day, it’s a whole lot better, right?

The thing about Zoya is that Nikolai doesn’t even realize he’s fallen in love with her until he’s faced with the prospect of losing her and not being able to tell her how he feels. This happens twice - in KoS AND in RoW.  

In Zoya, it’s not only friendship he finds. He finds a likeness, a comradery, a sense of duty he respects and emulates. He finds he loves her company, never wants her to leave, and he also feels safe in her presence. Zoya supports Nikolai in a way others don’t - she truly believes in him. As king. Someone she trusts with the most precious thing to her - Ravka. 

Zoya also has no qualms with voicing her opinions to Nikolai - King or no, her tongue is as acerbic as it is with anyone else. She tells it to him as it is, even if it pisses him off at times. But he values that about her - that there is no pretense with Zoya. At the same time, he knows there’s layers to her that she hides - he’s always wanting her to tell him a story about herself, to which Zoya says he’d have to earn it. 

It isn’t until the night before Nikolai faces Elizaveta that he comes to understand what his feelings for Zoya are, and even then, he’s skirting it a little. After Zoya tells him the way she protected the baby tigers, Nikolai surmises that if it weren’t for his sense of duty, Zoya would be the queen Ravka needs. 

But more importantly is the end of KoS - when Nikolai faces the potential of dying, he and Zoya share a very tender moment that brings to the surface things they haven’t said because they’re too afraid to. The idea of goodbye, of a finality, spurs Nikolai into realizing all he wants to do is have her in his arms and hear what it is she would have said. 

This is why it’s so important for Nikolai as a character to understand what his feelings were for Alina vs Zoya - one was a friendship, a kindness most have never shown to an affection-starved boy longing for more, and the other is autonomy of choice and love. Nikolai being willing to sacrifice everything to finally confess that it is Zoya he wants is selfish of him, but it is also the first time in his life that he’s put his own feelings first. He has fallen in love with Zoya to the point of forsaking his duty if it means being with her - where a future is not worth fighting for if it means he’s faced with losing her. 

THAT is part of his character arc. The acceptance of love, of learning the difference, and maturing through it. A character that started off with ambitions of the crown, and whatever it took to get there, to a humbled character who realizes he may not be the best choice anymore, but that he can still find happiness regardless.