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“You can’t get the truth. You can’t. There’s a larger truth, though: that you can’t harness the forces of the cosmos, but you may find somebody else. You may find another human being. That may be kind of corny and all of that, but that’s really it: Love is the only truth we can hope to know, as human beings. That’s what Mulder and Scully found after nine years. And that’s a lot.” –Frank Spotnitz
One day in the hottest and cloudiest slump of a New York City August, while I was watching season 5 of The X-Files for the first time, I was crossing the street after work and I realized that I didn’t think I knew anything for sure anymore.
The X-Files is my favorite idea of bravery, which is to say that it’s a show about people unafraid to ask the questions that have no tangible answers. Mulder wants to believe, but his confessions to Scully are about the cost of that belief, the pain of it and the effort behind it: “You think believing is easy?” And still he wants to believe. But not in lies. In searching for the proof to back up his ideas, he’s lost his reputation and everyone he cares about, but he finds ways to keep searching, risking his own life because it matters less
Scully, with her integrity as an investigator, a scientist, and a human being, puts the truth above herself and so puts asking the right questions above holding on to what she thought were the answers. She loses her certainty in the ideals that were tentpoles of her life: faith, government, reason. But she doesn’t lose hope; she finds ways to reshape those ideals and let her questions live inside them. Scully likes to see herself as capable of believing only what can be proven, but her confessions to Mulder are that she already believes in More, in miracles, in love
Mulder works to prove everything he believes but falls back on what he knows. Scully works to understand everything but falls back on what she believes. Where Mulder and Scully meet is in that place of falling, of not knowing–but of having something (someone) to fall back on. The X-Files tells us that we’re never going to have all of the answers, and we have to find a way to be okay with that. And the way to be okay, for Mulder and Scully, is in each other.
This is why, I think, Mulder and Scully are themselves so appealing and why it’s impossible to separate any of the show’s values from their relationship: because they have nothing else
Mulder and Scully are completely tethered to each other. They have no other force to ground them; they’re united by working toward a goal, but it’s not the goal that unites them–it’s the work. It’s the process. They have to define success for themselves–they have a whole language and a system of relating to the world that’s just for them, just so they can get through the day–and the only moral imperatives they really have are to help people and not give up. That’s it. Basically their whole idea for what constitutes a life lived successfully hinges on whether they live it side by side, together, which is why they’ll never be out of each other’s lives even when they’re living apart, because if one of them falls, really falls, they both do, they’ve both failed.
The X-Files is basically about how you keep going when there’s nothing to put your back up against. It doesn’t sand down any of the rough edges. It just hands you this broken life and asks you to sit with that brokenness. And that feels true to where I am right now, but I’m here right now in part because The X-Files put me here, because it gave me an excuse to think twice about how I made sense of my relationship with the world. That terrifies me, but I’m better for it. And that’s a lot.
hi! i saw your post about mulder’s attachment style and was wondering what you think of scully’s attachment style and how these styles might interact in positive and negative aspects of the msr relationship dynamics?
omgggg what a fun question, thank you 🥹
okay, so this post is what the ask is referring to and also has my disclaimers about attachment style.
SO. Scully. My girl. The very picture of an avoidant attachment. But I think the second part of your question is what makes this so fun to answer, because as I said in the Mulder post, you can 1) have different attachment styles in different relationships and 2) develop over the years to become more secure (or insecure) in your attachments overall depending on what your relationships are like. And what I love about Scully and Mulder together is that they truly give each other the corrective emotional experience they need to eventually form a secure attachment with one another.
I can't speak to the research (I'm sure there's some, I just haven't read it), but in my personal experience as a therapist, avoidant attachments are particularly common in children who were parentified and/or neglected. and that makes sense—if you can't trust someone to meet your needs or you are given an age-inappropriate amount of authority, depending on or trusting other people is not going to feel safe or smart. and while Scully didn't experience an abusive level of neglect, I would argue that she grew up in a relatively neglectful household (at least emotionally) based on 1) what we know about her father and his role in the navy and 2) Maggie's behavior throughout the show.
there are a few examples that come to mind for me, but the key one is Maggie's response to Scully's cancer. I want to be clear that I understand the response and recognize that of course she would be hurt and upset; however, I also want to discuss what her response does from an attachment perspective. Although Scully is an adult now, this is an example of what parentification might have looked like as Scully grew up. Maggie is overtaken by her emotions (we also see this in Beyond the Sea) and Scully takes on the role of comforting Maggie, which leaves no room for Scully's feelings. This is an inappropriate role reversal; what should be happening is the adult/parent manages and regulates their emotions enough that the child does not feel responsible for those emotions. A secure attachment figure would have the capacity to act as a container for big emotions, helping the child make sense of their emotions without the emotions becoming too big or uncontrollable. if an adult can't manage their own emotions, it can undermine feelings of safety in the child, because what they are learning is that their adult isn't going to be capable of helping them, so they have to do it themselves and may even have to take on the role of comforting the adult.
of course this is very nuanced and not something i can adequately cover in a single tumblr post, but I do just want to be clear that I'm not saying adults can't have emotions—it's important for kids to see adults experience their emotions so they can learn empathy, their own emotional regulation, and other skills. but what I am talking about is an adult whose emotions overtake them to the point that the child feels like they need to shut down their own emotions and/or need to take responsibility for their parent's emotions, which we see in Memento Mori (and Beyond the Sea, to a lesser extent).
so, while Maggie and Bill weren't abusive parents, the combination of Maggie's emotion regulation and Bill being in the Navy created an environment that could not or would not tolerate Scully's emotions. and in a sense, what we see in her and Mulder are two different responses to the same situation (emotionally unavailable parents).
now, here's something fun — avoidant (Scully) and anxious (Mulder) is one of the hardest combinations to work with because what one person needs is the exact thing that the other person runs away from (anxious person wants reassurance -> gets more anxious and clingy -> avoidant person becomes more avoidant -> anxious person becomes more anxious because their person is being avoidant -> avoidant person becomes even more avoidant because of the anxiety -> on and on and on). but what's interesting is that I think Mulder in particular has enough awareness and emotional fluency that he is able to manage his own emotions well enough to at least keep Scully from running. I think part of that is what I spoke about in the Mulder post, about how his upbringing probably tempered some of his anxious attachment behaviors. so even though I do think Mulder is predisposed to an anxious attachment, he also has more emotional regulation skills than Scully and grew up in an environment that would have encouraged avoidance, and I think that's what allows him to withdraw when he needs to in order to keep Scully from shutting down.
and i think what's so beautiful about msr is that, as unlikely as it is, they eventually find their way to a secure attachment with one another. this happens with each corrective emotional experience where the negative assumption they have about the relationship is proven wrong—i.e., every time their attachment felt threatened but their relationship didn't end. i truly believe that they learn how to love each other over the course of the series. for example, Mulder calms down and settles into their love and life together and Scully becomes less skittish and learns to trust him with her emotions. their relationship is an example of how attachment styles can change over time or within relationships, and we see how hard that was for both of them during the show (we watch them try to figure it out for years). but their love for one another at every stage of their relationship (platonic or romantic) is the constant; it's the reason they don't bolt the first time their attachment styles clash. and it represents one of my own reasons why—the understanding of how powerful a single loving relationship can be in someone's life.
this could go on forever but hopefully that answers at least some of it... i'd love to know your thoughts!
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One of the major changes between TXF early and later seasons was the attempt to write the considerable height difference between Mulder and Scully into non-existence. We see it very rarely later on. I know that the Scully box is a beloved topic of discussion, and I know it was used to avoid odd framing (and, I am sure, other technical issues). Still, I thought it was a loss in terms of their dynamics.
The way we perceive our bodies and ourselves in space – and, how others perceive us – is strictly related to how tall or petite we are. My best friend is 1.97 m tall (6.46 feet, an online calculator tells me) and he is always perceived as strong, self-confident, a person you rely on, someone you instinctively respect – all the more since he’s a man. But he’s never seen as the vulnerable, very sensitive guy he is.
So, Mulder being so much taller than Scully would play a role in their relationship. I think it both increased his wish to protect her but also his respect for her – the fact that a tiny person could be so much stronger, fiercer, quicker, more self-assured than her stature would suggest. Because she’d have had to fight for it, it wasn’t something others would acknowledge freely, without her having to prove it first. Especially as a woman.
Also, I simply find their height difference endearing, aesthetically beautiful. I wish the show’s responsibles would have kept it apparent. She was mostly wearing high heels anyway. (And wouldn’t it have been heartbreakingly sweet to see them trying to find a way to kiss each other without it being completely awkward in the hallway scene or in the final scene of “Existence“?)
Do we have Mulder and Scully’s addresses? Hegal Place…?
According to their wikis--
Mulder's address:
Fox Mulder's apartment at 2630 Hegal Place, Alexandria, VA 23242 (Small Potatoes, Dreamland II), was the residence of Fox Mulder, from at least as early as November 1990 until 2001 — (Travelers, Nothing Important Happened Today).
Scully's address:
In the X-Files: Fight for Future, learn that Scully's apartment was located in the Georgetown neighborhood and commercial district of Washington, D.C.
Scully apartment's exact address is 107 E. Cordova St. Apt. 35 Georgetown, VA 24026 (TXF: The X-Files: Fight the Future)
And according to Wikipedia--
The Unremarkable House's address:
In the eleventh series X-Files episode 'This', Fox Mulder's address is given as the fictional 227700 Wallis Road, Farrs Corner.
Other links you might like--
The floor plan of Scully's apartment
Details of Scully's apartment (bts book, description)
Scully's apartment in E.B.E.
Scully's apartment (with Mulder in it) in Anasazi-The Blessing Way
here and here
Maggie Scully's house
Mulder's things at Scully's and Scully's things at Mulder's in S7
Mulder's things in Scully's apartment in Essence-Existence (OG here)
The Unremarkable House links
(Shoutout to @mappingthexfiles's, @lilydalexf's, @iconicscullyoutfits's, @b0oker18's, and @lacokita's, @deathsbestgirl's, and @fistful-of-fandom's work.)
(might be an) unpopular opinion: the “if you weren’t ugly i’d kiss you” scene in dreamland ii is THE most romantic and saddest moment in msr history. i mean just look at the sadness in her eyes when scully had to tell mulder and herself the cruel fact that the man she loves will forever be trapped in another person’s body, and realizes they will never be together, that SHE HAS LOST THE CHANCE TO BE WITH MULDER FOR GOOD. the regrets they must’ve been thinking about, the moments when they could’ve been together but kept missing each other. why else would scully, who has kept her distance professionally all these years, say that?? we hear “i’d kiss you if you weren’t so damn ugly”, but she’s actually saying “I LOVE YOU AND FAREWELL MY LOVE”, and mulder is saying the same thing by giving her those sunflower seeds😭😭😭
both gifs are made by @katebeckets and are from here! thanks for her reminder and wonderful work
“Well, I can say that we are definitely closer than, um, than we were back then. And I think a lot of that is due to, you know, time, and growing up a bit more and, um, appreciation for the experience that we had. And um, the connection that we have. We have a connection not just in the fact that we experienced that together, but we have, as two human beings, we have a connection and a camaraderie and a dynamic between the two of us that is also unique to me than in any other relationship that I have in my life. You know, there’s an intimacy there that is, um, um, it only exists there, in that particular way. And so, um, it’s cool to see him and you know, I think if we saw each other all the time, it might be a different story. But we see each other on rare and pleasant occasions and um, and it’s nice, it’s a great relationship and I am very fond of it and him.” Gillian, 2013
2002 to 2007---Emails and coffee
2007---"We love each other now"
Wondercon flirting
Wondercon flirting 2
Lint moment
Highlights: 08'-12'
2008---I Want To Believe red carpet
Tentgate
Gillian's initial opinion of Californication
Fighting chemistry
60 second Q&A
2010---Gillian at David's play
Tea to Gillian--"you're so beautiful"
2011---IBG event
"We can't afford you." "I'd do it for free, babe."
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okay I was talking to a myoot about this a few weeks ago. the absolute sisyphean weight that GA is carrying in this scene because. this is? three seconds of film? and she manages to convey that 1. she’s proud and excited to tell him that she has a date, 2. she wants to appear aloof while doing so, 3. she wants to see how he reacts to this knowledge, then immediately 4. she’s a little embarrassed at having felt all those things because they’re flirty and not professional, so 5. she tries immediately to get a handle on herself and return to being Professional Scully.
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