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i want you all the time

Have you considered that this is how your presence feels?

it would be so awesome

it would be so cool

i also took some martial arts in school and hated it. i took it up only bcos my best friend was doing it and at all times was like 'i wish i was spending my lunchbreak doing Anything Else'. i was also bad at it.

before anyone is like 'well you don't have to be good at an activity to enjoy it-' yes you do. sorry. when it comes to Sports if you are bad enough at it, you simply do not get to access the fun part. for example: me and my best friend used to 'play tennis' together in PE lessons but we were both extremely bad at tennis so we would just take it in turns to serve the ball at each other over and over bcos neither of us could hit it back. this was not fun.

i did a lot of musical theatre extra curriculars including dance as a teen and this was probably the one i enjoyed the most but once you hit a certain age there is an Expectation that you will want to get good at it. i was not a good dancer and struggled a lot with memorising the routines. this was not fun. it is not fun doing an activity you are bad at while surrounded by people who are better at it than you.

watched the backrooms movie & went “how can i make this about me”.

“I got freaks NINE days out of the week — I CAN GET MORE.”

“….—only seven days in a week.”

…