Not to be confused with illuminarti

We now know from the new NanoStarr lore drop that mining of the gems has been happening since before 1984. But the park was founded in 1985. So basically, the sole reason Starr Corp wants Starr Island so much is BECAUSE of the gems, because these rocks can fuse with humans, control them and allow Starr Corp's goal of world domination (which has been basically confirmed since 2020 lore era).

Starr Corp needed FULL access to the park to mine the gems at their own will. But Sirius, who we will assume worked more independently, was getting in their way. Curiously, what was the first attraction to be opened in the park? Yep, Mike's Mine. It could not be more obvious that the Corp is just using the island to strip itself of its gems. If I remember correctly, even Rosa was unhappy with what has become of the island and would like it to return to its natural state before the unnecessary mining.

I remember, I think it was Dani saying, "Villains aren't born, they are made," regarding Sirius. Well, I'm using this as further proof that Sirius may have been made to not become a villain, but to be VIEWED as a villain. Sirius had the right to become mad; sure, his actions aren't justified, but it seemed Starr Corp was doing everything in their power to irritate him. And once Sirius finally snapped, they used this as an excuse to exile him and take the land for themselves. It was only Sirius they truly kicked out. After that, all the employees were under Starr Corp, so no kicking was needed.

So, just a bit of background info for those unaware, StarrPark.Biz and WKBRL were rather old lore drops. SP.Biz was a website that showcased many relics of old Starr Park from the 70s to the 90s before things all went to shit (though corruption and brainwashing was still happening).

Interestingly, while it is presented as a fansite, the owner of SP.biz, who calls themselves The Webmaster, may not actually be a "fan" of Starr Park, but rather someone working internally to expose Starr Corp. This is especially evident in some of their comments, especially regarding S.P.U.D.E. (tap to see full images)

In addition, see the automatically generated email below when you try to reach out to The Webmaster:

Your email has been received in the correct order but Some things have come tO light and communications now cannot be trusted and/or trusted. Keep your bright Soul! The http://starrpark.biz webmaster

If you notice the suspiciously capitalised letters, you will find they spell out "SOS". This Webmaster may be trying to alert others that they are in danger, or to stop looking too deeply into Starr Corp. Very VERY fishy.

"Some things have come to light" could either be a subtle clue to Starr Corp's misdeeds or that the owner of this site was a legitimate fan who no longer feels trustworthy of Starr Park, but I am leaning towards the former. You cannot outright state you are trying to unravel a large corporation just like that; clues and hints need to be sprinkled around so as to not to trigger the people in power.

Here's my take on Starrpark.biz: it was intended to be an exposé on Starr Corp and the strange occurrences and items found within the island by a current employee, but eventually, a potential cease and desist order was put on them, and they had to turn the site into some fansite that heavily painted the park as some overly positive haven, as seen from the overuse of "happiness" on the front page. Starrpark.biz could have been a way to tell the world about the behind-the-scenes of the innocent-looking theme park, but it failed. Now, all everyone sees is a happy-go-lucky fansite, with a site owner who cannot even respond to such queries about said malicious theme park. It's sad, really.

Now for WKBRL/ Acceptable Radio. Hoo boy, I haven't listened to these recordings in years, so sorry if my memory is a little fuzzy.

Linked above is the full transcript, with additional notes containing versions 1 and 2 of WKBRL, made by the godsend Starrchive.

Now, what is WKBRL? Why are there multiple versions?

Around 2021, Supercell broadcast a 24/7 looped livestream (with the occasional additional content) via an external YouTube link. The livestreams were conducted on and off of each other, totalling three versions: V1, V2 and V3.

Versions 1 and 2 were broadcast in lore by the actual Starr Park employees, the lowest of the bunch, who aren't in power like the higher-ups in Starr Corp. See the backdrop below, from which the recordings were sent from.

It looks very rustic and almost dirty; see how the device above is slanted. The wires are messy and all over the place. It doesn't have that polished look present in V3, which you will see later.

As for what V1 broadcast, it sounds as rustic as it looks, as in the sound quality was often distorted and of very low quality. I assume its purpose was to track the radio signals emitted around Starr Park and relay them back to this setup. Which meant that originally, only advertisements called around the park would be relayed, but eventually, the recordings began coming back a little odd, and it started archiving information not meant for public ears: "Patient No. 8," which states:

"Any provocation could have lethal results...Further tests are needed to explore the darkness inside of this machine."

Why would recordings like these be found around a theme park of all places?

And you know how I said Starr Corp tried to silence The Webmaster? Well, the WKBRL recordings picked up on Starr Corp actually trying to apply a cease and desist order on one of the BS theorist YouTubers of the time (Rey).

...has been problematic concerning...obtainment of information regarding the development of property construction and operation of joy-based businesses for the express purpose of jubilant children and well-fed adults for and by S.P. Corporation...Rey has unlawfully procured and shared information... by sharing “Patient 8’s” personal information... In regard to the above reference matters, “Rey” is instructed to cease and desist all further inquiries...[and] is hereby informed that the information that he has shared is false.

Literally clear as day that Starr Corp is silencing people, and the last line especially: the "information he has shared is false". Not only is Starr Corp forcing those against them to be silent, but they are actively trying to paint said people as lunatics (see also the Mind Your Business recording in the doc above) or trying to rewrite and, for lack of a better word, gentrify the work of lower employees into something they would own and approve of. It is not enough to shut down opposition; their work needs to be twisted to fit their agenda. It is genuine 1984 shit, and I can't believe a children's game would randomly drop this and never explore it again lmao.

And you know how I said there were three versions of WKBRL? I only mentioned two. What about the third? Well, what has become of WKBRL V3 only solidifies my point of Starr Corp tampering with the communication methods of Starr Park employees and S.P.U.D.E. The last recording heard on V2 after long scenes of static was "This is normal" before it shut down for good. Or so it was thought.

WKBRL was back! Except now it looks like...THIS?!

And it's not only called WKBRL but also "Acceptable Radio" or, more formally, "The Voice That Hears You". It is clean in both design and sound quality. The recordings are clearly done in-house with professional equipment; no longer relayed radio signals like its predecessor. It is meant to be out-and-proud; a message to the world that says, "hear us all!" rather than the fringe radio that was meant to slowly leak information.

What was done to the original WKBRL is sad. It went from a way to expose Starr Corp to becoming an actual propaganda machine, taken from them and turned into an overtly optimistic radio station now owned by Starr Corp. Now, if S.P.U.D.E. were to mention their efforts as captured by WKBRL, most people would go: "The radio station that always forced me to smile? Is that what you're talking about?" and all their effort would be in vain.

They took their main way to broadcast the behind-the-scenes of Starr Park as NOT being a place of joy, only for the radio station that owns that name to keep spouting that yes, Starr Park IS a place of joy. Starr Corp could have made their own station, but that would not be enough; they had to stop S.P.U.D.E.'s efforts and make their choices work against them. It is a way of saying: you can speak, but our voices are louder and more reputable; it is better to just give up. What you make, we own. No one outside will believe you.

I don't know how canon this is, but I'm going with her being Argentinian. As for ethnicity (which is more headcanon territory), I'm going with her being Afro-Latina from her mother's side (I hope I used that terminology correctly). So she had an African-Argentine mother and a European-Argentinian father.

Look, I know we all like angsty parents, but I will say her parents were actually good to her.

Grew up in more rural towns, learned how to use a gun from there, but mostly for hunting game.

She didn't like the smallness of country life, so she tried to find work in the nearby city. Unfortunately, she would be unsuccessful. She did, however, get offered the opportunity of a lifetime at an up-and-coming theme park, set on an island a bit east of Japan (I am dying with that headcanon, okay). Seemed too good to be true; no rent, full utilities and expenses paid, and doing something she knew she was good at: shooting. She took it without thinking.

Starr Park was founded in 1985, and she was also hired around this time, at 18 years of age. She will continue working there until my headcanon present, which is 1993 at 26 years old.

Now, we are in the present! Well, story-present lol.

She seems tough but is actually a softie at heart; people always misread her resting stern expression as seriousness, but she is actually sillier than she looks.

Practised her Japanese (which is something Colt didn't do lol) so she could communicate more with the guests, who are mainly of that descent.

She doesn't hate her job, per se, but she really wishes her efforts would be acknowledged more. She is meant to be the major mascot of the park, but sometimes, she feels more like a cleaner or minimum-wage cashier at a gift shop.

The bandages on her forearms are aesthetic-only, but the ones on her wrists are real (chaffing from lots of gun use).

Speaking of gun use, she does use a real gun; Starr Park trusts her enough.

Gets along with people rather well, but only as a surface-level connection. Due to her isolated upbringing, she struggles to connect with people in a more intimate/personal way.

Drunkard....*gets shot*

But seriously, she loves being at Barley's. Alcohol aside, that place is a vibe.

I don't know why, but I see her getting along with Pam very well. I will not elaborate.

I feel like I should have more but I don't :(

OKAYYYY!! Now for my all-time favourite guy!!! POCO!!

I feel I might get thrown rocks at for this headcanon, but...I don't think he is no sabo, and I don't think he is US-born (everyone boos at me, and I get tomatoes thrown at me). I'm a bit biased here; I am an immigrant who grew up in a non-English speaking country until my teens, and guess what? I can speak near-perfect English (though it did take me a while to adjust to the informal speak). The same can be said about a lot of my friends lol. Again, I'm just being a bit biased here lol.

I also HC he grew up as a single child, which slightly explains how he struggles to understand people a bit. The only person I can actually see having a big family in his trio is Primo, which explains why he feels the obligation to look over his younger co-workers. I'm sorry, but I cannot see Poco as coming from a large family. I think it was just him and his mother. But his mother was rather nice (Again, I am an adult, so I grew out of the angsty parents trope lol; I only use it rarely). She was musically-inclined herself and got him into the guitar.

However, he was never (and still isn't) good with it.

He isn't the most masculine guy (just look at how short and skinny he is lol), but that fact never really bothered him; I also HC he lovesssss flowers and grew a lot back home and after moving to Starr Park.

Didn't really grow up on a lot of money (like 99% of the original Starr Park employees), so just like Shelly, he had to take the job offered to him. He would also want to give that money back to his mother (he really loves and respects her; she is like a role model of kindness and compassion to him).

Speaking of his mother, that's where he got his "always help people no matter what" mentality, since he hates to see people down. She is the one who taught him to make sure others are not to suffer. While he can identify when people need help and can successfully make them feel better, he struggles to identify when that help needs to cease. So instead of being helpful, 90% of the time, he just comes off as annoying.

Ask for Starr Park HCs, I don't think there is a single person he doesn't get along with. He loves everyone, and everyone loves him

He started working at Starr Park much later than Shelly or Colt, who were from its conception. He started a bit young at 17, but is 21 in my current canon. So he is not undead YET (he will be in 2 years' time). The current timeline I'm working with is: Starr Corp is known to be corrupt and planning world domination, but has done nothing drastic to its visitors YET!! So it's before Acceptable Radio (WKBRL is running) and in the peak of SPUDE. But the gem's influence is still very minimal.

OKAY TANGENT OVER!!

He may look like a loverboy, but he sucks at flirting and is oblivious as hell. Loves the kind of woman that would just about kill him WHO SAID THAT

i feel like I should have more, but I suck at HCs for men. OKAY NEXT

My favourite white woman: PIPER!!!!

I am aware of her French surname, but my goodness, that has to be the most Southern US accent I've heard in my life! And I'm not even American lol. Her distant ancestors were French, but she is French in name only; that woman is a sweet-tea-drinking, gun-wielding, drawling Southerner through and through.

I cannot see her as being from the city. Country girl, and I mean PURE country girl. She grew up in a rather isolated Alabama town with a population of a large school bus. Everyone knew each other, which did backfire on her a little bit.

So, Piper having a secret, dark past is canon info, and the general consensus is that she used to be a hitman, either before or after Starr Park, but I want to give my own idea of her past. I believe she is responsible for...a murder!!

So, Piper was nearing her mid-20s and still wasn't married nor interested in any suitor (in 90s Deep South, that was bad-bad), and her father (just her and him, no mother nor siblings) wasn't very happy with that. He would force her to marry the mayor of her town, a newly divorced man who was her father's age. He was rich, and she was beautiful, with the added benefit of bringing money into her rather poor family. But she was having none of that; she is not property.

So, after the wedding night, she shot the mayor to teach him a lesson; do not mess with her; do not think she is some weak girl with no spine, but a woman who lives life to her liking and won't be pushed around by random men.

It was just a lesson; she didn't intend to kill him, but she did; the mayor lost too much blood and was dead by morning. She killed the most important man in her town. She could not stay here; she needed to escape.

"Conveniently", the next day, she saw businessmen offering placements at Starr Park, a theme park halfway across the world. She had to take it to leave this place before the townspeople found out. She was 25 back in 1991 when she was hired.

OKAY I SPENT A LOT OF TIME ON THAT BACKSTORY HOLYYY

She was actually originally hired to be an old-west style mascot, similar to Colt and Shelly, but became a more reserved baker when 1) Starr Corp noticed they could capitalise on her baking hobby. 2) She was scaring the guests a little as they complained that her eyes and laugh were a bit "sadistic" in nature.

A master baker, don't ask her to cook soup, though; she would burn the kitchen down.

Practised sniping since she could walk. Her father was a pure redneck with lots of guns, but would never allow his feminine, pure daughter to wield a gun, so she taught herself through observation

Maybe it's her voice, but she sounds like a smoker. Sorry lol. Drinks too. This woman had a tough upbringing; I think she needs it a little

Despite being popular with the guests, she still feels very lonely sometimes; a part of her feels like they only like the image of her (i.e., her looks). Just because she doesn't want to marry the first suitor who proposes to her (guest or not), doesn't mean she doesn't want a little love

A big fan of butterflies. They have been an interest of hers since she was a girl, as there were a lot of them on her farm. She cannot read well, but she has a butterfly book, and she practices reading with it.

Her trust issues are very bad. Doesn't believe people are being nice to her for the sake of being nice to her; they obviously want something from her in return! Give this woman some unconditional love STAT!

Despite Starr Park being a literal cage, she feels very iffy siding with S.P.U.D.E. because she would rather not return home, where she is wanted for murder. At least in Starr Park, she has freedom, even if it is all fake in the end.

Also, for some reason, I am being reminded of this image lol